Archive for the ‘Health Verse’ Category
Thursday, March 29th, 2012
Yoga’s been in the news quite a bit lately. Is it good for you? Is it bad for you? Should you purchase some fancy yoga garb and skip the actual yoga?
But the oddest story so far is this one about naked yoga classes in South Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York.
Nude Yoga? Yikes!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Take a yoga class naked? How scary!
I confess that the thought makes me wary.
Yes I’ll gladly condone
Nude yoga alone.
But in public? I’m sorry. Too hairy.
(If you’re in Brooklyn and want to study yoga in a more modest fashion, check out my niece’s Crown Heights Fitness.)
Related Posts: A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth? and Yoga For What?
Tags: Attire Verse, Clothing Poem, Education Limerick, Exercise Humor, Health Limerick, Naked Limerick, New Age, Nudity, Yoga, Yoga Humor
Posted in Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, New Age Humor, Physical Appearance, Sports Humor | 3 Comments »
Sunday, February 12th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who ran a campaign…*
or
A fellow who ran a campaign…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Campaigning For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who ran a campaign
To sell drugs that were good for the brain
Was stunned and quite pissed
At the side effect list.
She flushed pills and her job down the drain.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advertising Humor, Employment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Limerick Contest, Marketing Humor, Medications, Medicine, Poetry & Prompts, Side Effects Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 62 Comments »
Thursday, February 9th, 2012
Fox’s medical drama House is finally coming to an end. So it’s confession time: I hate House.
In fact, I loathe all medical dramas, doctor comedies, and any other show about sick people. Why? Because the mere mention of symptoms makes me start feeling them. So if I want to avoid real life doctors, I have to stay far away from the fake ones.
House To Close Its Doors (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though it’s not my intention to grouse,
I detest doctor dramas, like House:
TV ailments and ills
Make me itch, give me chills.
WebMD, here I come — Where’s my mouse?
Tags: Fox TV Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Hospital Shows, House Cancelled, Medical Show, TV Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Entertainment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Television (TV) Humor | 10 Comments »
Wednesday, January 25th, 2012
I strongly support stem cell research. But that doesn’t mean I won’t mock it. After all, science article titles like this are impossible to resist: Stem Cells Build a Better Rat Penis.
Waxing Silly About Science (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is your rat penis painfully small?
There’s help for you — here’s who to call:
A Doc at Tulane —
His team will explain
How stem cells can make that thing tall.
Tags: Animal Verse, Bawdy Humor, Medical Studies Humor, Medicine, Men's Health, Penis Humor, Rats Humor, Research Limerick, Science Verse, ScienceNow, Stem Cell Research, Tulane
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Science Humor | 7 Comments »
Sunday, January 1st, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too. The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
As the new year approaches, men swear…*
or
As the new year approaches, gals swear…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick For The New Year
By Madeleine Begun Kane
As the new year approaches, men swear
That they’ll finally end their affair.
They’ll diet, work out,
Learn to ski, buy some grout.
What’s their chance of success? Not a pray’r!
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Affair Limerick, Health Limericks, Holiday Humor, Limerick Contest, New Year's Humor, New Year's Resolutions Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Competitions, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 79 Comments »
Thursday, December 1st, 2011
Black Eye (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who had a black eye
Was stopped on the street and asked why.
When her mate said, “She fell,”
They thought “husband from hell.”
His story they just wouldn’t buy.
But she really did fall on her face.
(She’d been rushing, as if in a race.)
So she told them, “Please stop.
“I do NOT need a cop.
“It’s my pace that’s at fault. He’s an ace.”
Author’s Note: I case anyone’s wondering, this really happened to me a couple of week’s ago. Mark and I were in Manhattan, on the way to see The Judy Show: My Life as a Sitcom with Judy Gold. We were running late, and I was walking so fast, you could call it running.
I tripped, fell down really hard, and two week’s later my face is still recovering. But at least I no scare longer people … or make them think I’m an abused spouse.
And no, we never got to see that show. But we did have a great Indian meal before I ruined our night by taking that stupid spill.
UPDATE: I really must thank the owners and management of Angelo And Maxie’s, a well-respected seafood and steak restaurant that’s a couple of doors away from where I fell. They could not have been nicer and more helpful, quickly giving me tons of ice, towels, bandages and a first aid kit. They even let me take over their ladies room for at least twenty minutes. I’m looking forward to actually dining there in the near future.
Tags: Accident Poem, Black Eyes, Cop Limerick, Cops & Police, Good Samaritans, Husband Wife Limerick, Injury Verse, Judy Gold, New York City Verse, Theater Poem, Walking Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Night On The Town, Relationship Humor, Walking Humor | 18 Comments »
Sunday, October 30th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who just let it slip…
or
A woman who just let it slip…
Here’s mine:
Slippery Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who just let it slip
That his wife got a tuck and a nip
Threw their marriage off course
And was sued for divorce.
Maybe next time he’ll zip up his lip.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Health & Medical Humor, Loose Tongue, Marital Relationships, Marriage Humor, Nip & Tuck, Physical Appearance, Plastic Surgery, Poetry & Prompts, Relationships Poetry, Talkative, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 54 Comments »
Tuesday, October 18th, 2011
For those of you who visit this blog to keep up with trends, here’s the latest: High heels for men.
Trendy Men, Heal Thyselves! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
High heels worn by men on the rise?
I’m warning you guys, that ain’t wise.
It’s painful, unhealthy—
Makes foot doctors wealthy.
Spike this trend ere it reaches new highs.
Tags: Comfort Humor, Fashion Verse, Feet Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Height Poem, High Heels Humor, Men Vanity, Shoes Limerick, Trends Humor
Posted in Fashion Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Trends, Physical Appearance, Walking Humor | 9 Comments »
Wednesday, August 24th, 2011
I lie in my bed,
coaxing my brain to adapt
and glide into sleep.
*****
Insomnia strikes
when I’m at my most weary—
tired irony.
*****
My lullaby verse—
I knew I should write it down—
now it’s lost to sleep.
*****
My thoughts skip around
like out-of-control children—
scaring sleep away.
*****
You can read my How To Become An Insomniac (Humorous How-To) here.
(My first haiku was inspired by Three Word Wednesday’s “adapt, glide, lie” prompt. My second haiku was inspired by Sensational Haiku Wednesday’s “weary” prompt.
Update: Happy Festival Of Sleep Day!
View my insomnia haiku image here.
Tags: Festival of Sleep Day, Haiku & Senryu, Haiku Images, Insomnia Verse, January Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sleep Poetry, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Haiku & Senryu, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Odd Holidays, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 24 Comments »
Wednesday, July 20th, 2011
Nonplussed by Google-Plus?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is Google-Plus blessing or curse?
It’s surely inspired some verse.
But here’s what I fear:
With the Plus option here,
My A.D.D.’s getting much worse.
Tags: ADD Humor, Attention Deficit Humor, Attention Span Humor, Brain Humor, Concentration Limerick, Distractions, Google, GooglePlus, Health Limerick, Mental Health, Social Media Poetry, Social Networking Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Google, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Social Media Humor | 9 Comments »
Sunday, July 17th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow I tried to ignore…
or
A woman I tried to ignore…
Here’s mine:
Rude Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow I tried to ignore
Was a rude, inconsiderate bore.
He’d sneeze in my face
And then cough just in case
All his germs failed to enter each pore.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Bad Manners, Manners Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Rudeness Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 68 Comments »
Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
Healthy Complaint (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dark choc’late, caffeine, and red wine
Might harm us, or may be just fine.
Ev’ry news item muddies
My mind with new studies.
Please make up your mind: What’s benign?
(Prompted by We Write Poems, which encouraged poets to use two prompts at once. I used health and chocolate.)
You might also enjoy my Are Health Studies Making Us Sick? and Margarine Is Good For You. Oops — Never Mind!
Tags: Caffeine Humor, Chocolate Poem, Diet Humor, Food Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Studies, Wine Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse | 21 Comments »
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011
Limerick Ode To A Vigorous Old Lady
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An old grandma with spring in her walk
Moved so quickly that people would gawk.
When asked if a gym
Was the source of her vim
She said, “No — Jim, Kim, Henry and Hawk.”
(Posted at this spring prompt and at Poetic Asides’ spring prompt.)
UPDATE: July 23 is Gorgeous Grandma Day.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Energy Verse, Exercise Humor, Gorgeous Grandma Day, Gym Membership, Health Poetry, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Seniors Humor, Vim And Vigor, Walking, Wordplay Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Exercise Humor, Gym Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Light Verse, Limericks, Odd Holdays, Physical Appearance, Relationship Humor, Seniors Poetry, Walking Humor, Wordplay | 8 Comments »
Saturday, March 12th, 2011
Nursing nostalgia,
the tribute bands play covers —
relive what wasn’t.
*****
The injured cellist,
forced to bow out of concerts,
retires her bow.
*****
The big bands play swing —
old couples dance joyously,
then reclaim their canes.
*****
Three childhood friendships —
treasured, instrumental —
piano, oboe, flute.
*****
(The first haiku was inspired by Writer’s Island’s tribute theme. The fourth haiku was inspired by Monday Memories’ friendship theme.)
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Big Bands, Cellos, Childhood Memories, Dancing, Flute Haiku, Friendship, Friendship Haiku, Health Haiku, Health Poetry, Monday Memories, Music Haiku, Nostalgia Haiku, Oboe Haiku, Piano Haiku, Seniors Humor, String Players, Swing, Tribute Bands, Writer's Island
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Dance Humor, Friendship Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health Verse, Music Humor & Verse, Seniors Poetry | 9 Comments »
Friday, March 11th, 2011
I had such a good time with my Clichéd Limerick the other day, I thought I’d write another:
A Fit Over Fiddles
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hope you don’t think this a nit,
But cliché buffs should surely admit
That we need to part ways
With certain clichés:
Just how often do fiddles sound fit?
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
UPDATE 2: World Fiddle Day falls on the Saturday closest to May 19.
Tags: Cliché Day, Clichés Humor, Fiddle Day, Fiddles, Fitness Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Language Satire, May Holidays, Music Humor & Verse, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Violins, World Fiddle Day
Posted in Cliché Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Language Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays | 6 Comments »
Monday, March 7th, 2011
Raw Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Raw veggies are healthy, they say.
We’re advised to eat tons ev’ry day.
Plus dairy, grains, fruit,
Fish or chicken to boot.
The last two not raw — Hip Hooray!
(Written for the Sunday Scribblings’ raw prompt.)
Tags: Food Groups, Food Limerick, Health Limericks, Nutrition Humor, Raw Vegetables
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 14 Comments »
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
After flunking (badly) The Guardian’s Who Said This — Gaddafi or Charlie Sheen quiz, I forced myself to watch ABC’s entire 20/20 Charlie Sheen interview conducted (I’m not sure how) by Andrea Canning. Yikes!
I’m no shrink, but if Sheen isn’t certifiable, I can’t imagine who is. Yet Sheen’s suing CBS and Warner Bros. for canceling Two and a Half Men. CBS and Warner Bros. should keep a copy on hand of ABC’s interview. Because that show gives CBS all the ammunition it needs to defeat Sheen’s case. We’re talking loony-tunes-uninsurable!
And so, Charlie Sheen has earned himself two “Dear Charlie” letter limericks. Here’s the first:
Dear Charlie, you’re acting bizarre.
We don’t need yet another sick star.
You appear on the brink
Of a breakdown, yet think
You’re not crazy, which proves that you are.
And here’s my second limerick:
Dear Charlie, you’re losing your sheen.
Once funny, you’re now turning mean.
It’s clear that you’re sick.
Get some help. Do it quick!
And stop wasting your comedy gene.
(You can find more letters at Write A Letter.)
Tags: ABC, Andrea Canning, CBS, Celebrities, Charlie Sheen, Entertainment Limerick, Guardian, Interview Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Media Limerick, Mental Health, Muammar Gaddafi, TV Humor, Two and a Half Men, Warner Bros.
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrity Humor, Entertainment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Insurance Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Letter Limericks, Limericks, Media Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 18 Comments »
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
Feverish hostess
serves chickpeas dropped on the floor—
a guest spills the beans.
*****
Sick party-goer
coughs and sneezes on buffet—
chilly reception.
*****
The corner bakeshop
seems a buttery temptress,
but smells can deceive.
Pastries seduce, disappoint—
buttery temptress no more.
*****
My first memory:
the sound and the vibration
of a freight train’s roar.
Budding logic says, “Can’t be.”
Sensed pre-birth within the womb?
*****
(My second haiku was inspired by Haiku Heights’ cold prompt. My first memory tanka was inspired by Free Write Fridays and Monday Memories.)
Tags: Bakery, Food Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health & Medical Humor, Hostess Haiku, Illness Haiku, Memory, Party Humor, Pastries, Pre-Birth, Tanka, Trains
Posted in Entertainment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Memory Humor, Tanka | 13 Comments »
Sunday, February 27th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was rather a scold…
or
A man who was rather a scold…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Scold
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was rather a scold
Berated her spouse o’er his cold:
“You’re sick all the time
Without rhythm or rhyme,
And your illness is getting quite old.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Health Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 45 Comments »
Monday, February 21st, 2011
Though I’m never safe,
his arms always comfort me,
and that must suffice.
*****
Ballroom dancing class—
learning creative ways to
defeat the rumba.
*****
Morning legs dangle
off the bed, as antique joints
brace for their touch down.
*****
Feeling elated—
great, yet dampened by knowing
what’s soon to follow.
*****
Poised atop mirage
of a career, gazing down
at life left behind.
*****
(I wrote the 1st haiku for We Write Poems’ safe prompt; the 4th haiku for Sensational Haiku Wednesday’s elation prompt; and the 5th haiku for One Single Impression’s top prompt and Haiku Heights’ mirage prompt.)
Tags: Aging, Arms, Career Poem, Dance Classes, Dancing Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health, Husband Wife Haiku, Legs Humor, Mood Humor, Rumba, Safety Verse, Workplace Poetry
Posted in Clumsiness Humor, Dance Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Leisure Time Humor, Lessons Haiku, Mental Health Humor, Personal, Relationship Haiku, Relationship Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 32 Comments »
