Posts Tagged ‘Language Satire’

Happy National Grammar Day (March 4)

Tuesday, March 4th, 2014

Happy National Grammar Day (March 4).

Grammar Gripes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A grammar-fanatic would gripe
To his wife about language, and snipe:
“Your syntax is bad!”
She’d respond, really mad:
“I’ll divorce you if down you don’t pipe.”

Picture This: My Selfish Take On “Selfie”

Tuesday, November 19th, 2013

Alas, “selfie” is Oxford Dictionaries’ international Word of the Year for 2013, beating out shortlisters “bedroom tax,” “binge-watch,” “bitcoin,” “olinguito,” “schmeat,” “showrooming,” and “twerk.”

Picture This: My Selfish Take On “Selfie” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oxford’s Word of the Year is a crime!
Choosing “selfie” just won’t ring my chime.
Why not finalist “schmeat,”
The lab-raised fake meat?
For one thing, “schmeat’s” simpler to rhyme.

Limerick Ode To Dictionary Day

Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

Limerick Ode To Dictionary Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

At this moment, I’m feeling quite spurred
To just soak up a new-to-me word.
Lest you think I’m all wet,
I have reasons — don’t fret:
Webster’s birthday’s today, so I’m stirred.

Have you any new words to suggest?
One that’s odd or obscure would be best.
Something wickedly cool,
Like “facinorous.” Who’ll
Help ensure that my word need’s addressed?

****

American lexicographer Noah Webster, of dictionary compilation fame, was born October 16, 1758.

Happy National Punctuation Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Happy National Punctuation Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When you punctuate, please don’t be rash.
Over-use can turn prose into ash.
And a comma misplaced
Lays your writing to waste.
Mark my words … or your readers shall dash.

(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)

Those Smashing French Language Police (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

The French are at it again:

Those Smashing French Language Police (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Le Binge Drinking’s” been outlawed in France.
They’re maintaining a very strict stance–
Not against all that drinking.
No! What were you thinking?
It’s their “dump English verbiage” dance.

A new phrase that has Frenchified grace
Must henceforth be used to replace
Such Anglicized words,
Discarded like turds:
“Beuverie express” — drink at fast pace.

Happy “Idiom Idiocy Day”

Thursday, April 18th, 2013

I’ll bet you didn’t know that April 18th is Idiom Idiocy Day. How do you celebrate it? By using idioms amusingly in verse, jokes, or short prose.

Limerick Ode To Idiom Idiocy Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was biding his time
And refusing to get off the dime.
He was dragging his feet
And could not take the heat.
His idiom use? It’s a crime!

Author’s Note: Idiom Idiocy Day is a brand new annual holiday established by none other than MOI. Why? Because it doesn’t exist, and it NEEDS to.

A Fit Over Fiddles

Friday, March 11th, 2011

I had such a good time with my Clichéd Limerick the other day, I thought I’d write another:

A Fit Over Fiddles
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I hope you don’t think this a nit,
But cliché buffs should surely admit
That we need to part ways
With certain clichés:
Just how often do fiddles sound fit?

UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!

UPDATE 2: World Fiddle Day falls on the Saturday closest to May 19.

Finessing Popularity

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Finesse is the word of the day over at Writers Block Daily. It prompted me to write a limerick and haiku:

Finessing Popularity
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man with no hint of finesse
Was quite popular. Why? Can you guess?
Neither handsome, nor funny,
The guy sure had money
To spare and was known for largesse.

Finance and finesse
Both begin with the root fin.
End of resemblance?

Oh, Drat! Limerick Audio

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

I’m in a terrible mood from yesterday’s election. And trust me — my cursing vocabulary most definitely doesn’t include the word drat.

Oh, Drat! (Oh, Drat Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When someone’s upset and says, “Drat,”
The word sounds appallingly flat.
Such a mealy-mouth curse!
So genteel — I’m averse.
Kindly try to swear better than that.

Happy National Punctuation Day — Two Days Late

Sunday, September 26th, 2010

Somehow I managed to miss National Punctuation Day on Sept 24th. “Shame on me!”

Oh my — I just used an exclamation point! And I did it again!

As you can tell from my limerick, I’m not a big fan of the exclamation point, a/k/a the bang.

STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame.
I abuse them, at times,
When excited by rhymes!!!!
But usage that’s spare is my aim.

By the way, it isn’t too late to celebrate National Punctuation Day: NationalPunctuationDay.com is doing it with a punctuation-related haiku contest. (The deadline is September 30th.)

And speaking of contests, the Washington Post is hosting another limerick competition. (As I mentioned previously, I got an honorable mention in their last one.)

Anyway, the Washington Post’s latest limerick contest sounds like a lot of fun. Much like my Limerick-Offs, WP provides limerick lines. However, the WP contest is definitely harder than mine: I provide A-rhyme first lines, while the WP contest offers us B-rhyme lines.

The Washington Post contest deadline is October 4th. Good luck!

Toying With Kites

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007

Toying With Kites (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The sight of a kite in the sky
Is delightful and lovely, so why
Is it quite impolite
To say, “Go fly a kite!”
This idiom just doesn’t fly.

Don’t forget to celebrate Go Fly A Kite Day every June 15th. (It’s believed to be the anniversary of Ben Franklin’s 1752 kite experiment.)

(You can find more of my outdoor sports humor here.)

STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007

STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame.
I abuse them, at times,
When excited by rhymes!!!!
But usage that’s spare is my aim.