Archive for the ‘Odd Holidays’ Category

Happy National Handbag Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 10th, 2017

My handbag is always too small
Cuz I suffer from portable sprawl;
Seems I “need” so much junk,
Nothing short of a trunk
Could manage to handle my haul.

Happy National Handbag Day! (October 10)

A Holiday For Haiku? (Limerick)

Monday, April 17th, 2017

“Haiku Poetry Day?” That sounds lame!
And redundancy’s surely to blame.
Be concise! That’s no vice;
Won’t “Haiku Day” suffice?
Terse verses deserve a short name.

Happy Haiku Poetry Day! (April 17)

In My Humble Opinion (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017

Here’s a statement that strikes me as rot:
“I am humbled.” We hear it a lot
From pols getting named
To some honor. It’s aimed
To make them seem modest. They’re not!

Happy Be Humble Day!

Thoughtful Limerick

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017

If you’d like to come off as well read
And appear to have thoughts in your head,
Say “Je pense, donc je suis.”
One more thing, and it’s key:
Be prepared to explain what you’ve said.

Happy World Thinking Day.

A Holiday For Short Women? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 21st, 2016

I’m acknowledging “Short Girl Appreciation Day” reluctantly, because of my aversion to the word “girl” when applied to grown women. Now if they changed it to “Short Woman Appreciation Day,” I’d be a lot more enthusiastic.

Though I stand at a measly five feet,
And in height-fights I’m easy to beat,
Some assume that I’m taller;
A word-spewing brawler
Like me couldn’t be small or petite.

Me Celebrate Greasy Foods Day? Not On Your Life! (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

I don’t understand the appeal
Of a greasy and fat-laden meal.
Yet folks by the tons
Risk getting the runs
From fried items, with heart-stopping zeal.

Happy Greasy Foods Day! (October 25)

It’s Bologna Day — No Baloney! (Limerick)

Monday, October 24th, 2016

At the taste of bologna, I groan.
Processed meats make me cringe, gag, and moan.
Yet for some, they’re a treat.
Keep your mystery meat,
Else my face shall be meeting my “throne.”

Happy National Bologna Day! (October 24)

Goose Day (Limerick)

Thursday, September 29th, 2016

A farmer who tried to produce
A plausible, timely excuse
For gambling away
His nest egg, today
Came up empty, self-cooking his goose.

Happy Goose Day! (September 29)

Celebrate Punch Day? Not Me!

Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

Serving punch at your party or brunch?
It won’t go with whatever we munch.
You apparently think
It’s a heavenly drink,
But it’s not. Please desist. Thanks a bunch.

Happy Punch Day!

Limerick Gibberish

Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

It’s Gibberish Day, which seems silly;
Throwing language around willy-nilly
Doesn’t make any sense
And it’s sickening. Hence,
Of such talk I’m constrained to speak illy.

Happy Defy Superstition Day – Sept. 13

Tuesday, September 13th, 2016

I wrote this limerick in honor of Defy Superstition Day:

On this day, let’s defy superstitions;
We should spurn all those stern admonitions
About opals, black cats,
Mirrors, ladders, and hats.
Play it safe, though: Avoid politicians.

Beach Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 30th, 2016

Lying down on the sand to get tanned
Is a pastime I NEVER have planned.
And my swim skills are grim,
Way too hard on my vim.
But long walks on non-beach-land are grand.

Happy National Beach Day! (Aug. 30)

Limerick Ode To Toilet Paper Day

Saturday, August 27th, 2016

For folks in a tight money squeeze,
Don’t raise the bath tissue price, please.
Though it’s paper-made true,
This factor I rue:
Bathroom tissue does NOT grow on trees.

A belated National Toilet Paper Day. (Aug. 26)

Pat Parental Retorts (Limerick)

Saturday, August 27th, 2016

Parents dish out some phrases with glee:
“Just because!” “Cuz I said so!” “We’ll see!”
“Till you pay your own way,
You must do what I say!”
“Do you think money grows on a tree?”

Happy “Just Because Day!” (Aug. 27)

Help! It’s Sean Connery Day! (Limerick)

Thursday, August 25th, 2016

Help! It’s Sean Connery Day!

Sean Connery’s speech drives me mad
Cuz his diction is fiendishly bad.
Yet he’s worshipped, adored;
Fervid film buffs, un-Moored,
Won’t shush up their Sean-mimicry fad.

Limerick Ode To The Elephant

Friday, August 12th, 2016

When I miss a big day, I’ve regrets,
And I’m tempted to spew epithets.
Nearly failed to relay
It’s “World Elephant Day,”
But an elephant never forgets.

Lazy Limerick

Wednesday, August 10th, 2016

An employee asleep at the switch
Created a dangerous glitch.
The lazy-ass slob
Fell down on the job.
It seems working just isn’t his niche.

Happy National Lazy Day!

Limerick Ode To The Lion

Wednesday, August 10th, 2016

It’s Lion Day. Give a big roar!
Categorical praise is in store
For the king of the jungle.
And kindly don’t bungle
This message: Show hunters the door.

World Snake Day Limerick (July 16)

Saturday, July 16th, 2016

Happy World Snake Day! (July 16)

A man was beginning to grasp
The danger of bites from an asp.
A thought bubble snaked
Through his brainwaves half-baked:
“Pet asp? I’m an ass!” — his last gasp!

Happy Pandemonium Day! (Limerick)

Thursday, July 14th, 2016

Pandemonium Day is today.
Watch bedlam and chaos hold sway.
Expect uproar, confusion–
A messy intrusion
Of things that create disarray.