The foul smell of a burning cigar
Is so dreadful, it’s something I’d bar
(If I could) ev’rywhere
It’s still legal. So there!
Now you know what I’d do, were I czar.
Archive for the ‘Odd Holidays’ Category
Just In Time For “Cigar Day” (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 27th, 2024Another Useless “Holiday” (Limerick)
Saturday, January 27th, 2024For some inexplicable reason, today, January 27th, is “Punch The Clock Day.”
“Punch The Clock Day’s” (I’ll wager) a crock.
Why celebrate methods to dock
Someone’s pay? It’s absurd!
Moreover, I’m spurred
When awakened to punch that damn clock!
Happy Hugging Day (Limerick)
Sunday, January 21st, 2024A gal who was overly sweet
Loved to hug ev’ry person she’d meet.
People found this annoying
And terribly cloying,
So they hid to avoid a repeat.
National Hugging Day falls on January 21st.
Screw It? (Limerick)
Thursday, December 14th, 2023It’s “Screwdriver Day.” Yay! Hooray!
Which type should be cheered? Well, they say
It’s the drink; not the tool.
(The reverse would be cruel.)
I intend to start early. Good day!
(National Screwdriver Day is celebrated on December 14th.)
Stressed About Stretching? (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 13th, 2023Notwithstanding this limerick, I do stretching exercises daily:
It’s important to stretch, so I’m told.
Some claim it fights pain when you’re old.
I prefer not to kvetch,
But that feels like a stretch…
Though with luck, it might fend off a cold.
(“National Stretching Day” falls on December 11th.)
An Absurd Limerick
Monday, November 20th, 2023It’s “Absurdity” Day. How absurd
To describe just one day with that word.
For you’ll have to admit
That “absurd’s” a fine fit
For most days … or at least a good third.
(Absurdity Day is celebrated on November 20 each year.)
A Senseless Term (Limerick)
Saturday, November 4th, 2023“Common sense” is alarmingly rare;
Few folks have a sensible flair.
So the term makes no sense;
A misnomer immense!
“Common denseness” prevails, so beware!
(Use Your Common Sense Day is celebrated on November 4th.)
Celebrate Cliché Day? No way!
Friday, November 3rd, 2023I’m compelled to condemn the cliché.
When I hear one, I’m rubbed the wrong way,
Also irked and annoyed.
They are best to avoid
Like the plague … at the end of the day.
(Cliché Day is always observed on November 3rd.)
Hail To The Chef (Limerick)
Friday, October 20th, 2023The chef was a world-famous man,
Whose cuisine had its roots in Spokane.
But his famed bistro failed
And his customers bailed.
Seems success was a flash in the pan.
(International Chefs Day falls on October 20th.)
Mark Your Calendars! (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 18th, 2023I was astonished to learned that today is “National Mark Day.” Apparently, it’s celebrated each year on October 18th. Who knew?
It’s “National Mark Day,” they say.
Is it marked on your calendar? Nay?
Since my Mark’s a great gent,
It’s a daily event
In our home. Only ONE day? No way!
Limerick Ode To Info Overload
Tuesday, October 17th, 2023Does it feel like your head might explode?
Do you suffer from brain overload?
Here’s a trick you might try:
It should help. Wait! Stand by!
Seems I’ve lost my pc’s logon code.
(Today is Information Overload Day which falls annually on the third Tuesday of October.)
An Unnecessary Holiday? (Limerick)
Monday, October 16th, 2023For some inexplicable reason, today, October 16, is Boss’s Day.
(For the record, this isn’t personal. I’m retired, although I do vividly recall having a paranoid boss during my corporate lawyering days.)
I am cross and unglued, at a loss
As to what I should do, cuz my boss
Is a paranoid lout
With way too much clout,
Who drowns me in nothing but dross.
Shoes v. Sneakers (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 10th, 2023Can’t recall the last time I wore shoes.
They’re too painful; it’s sneakers I choose.
I like comfort — not style,
And will NOT walk a mile
(Or a foot) wearing shoes. I refuse!
(National Sneakers Day is celebrated on October 9.)
Droll Thoughts (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 4th, 2023I sometimes feel hearty and hale,
And at other times, dauntingly frail.
When the latter takes hold,
I feel achy and old
And have droll thoughts like “maybe try kale.”
(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)
Celebrate Anisette Day? Don’t Make Me! (Limerick)
Sunday, July 2nd, 2023Though it’s Anisette Day, I don’t care.
I can’t bear any bev’rage or fare
With a licorice taste.
I would rather chew paste!
Me touch tarragon? Not on a dare!
(For some unfathomable reason, “National Anisette Day” is celebrated on July 2.)
Happy Yoga Day! (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 21st, 2023This headline reminded me that today (June 21) is International Day Of Yoga: “International Yoga Day: PM Modi leads celebrations at UN Headquarters in New York”.
So it’s time for yet another yoga-related limerick:
I used to do yoga most days.
It was more than a health-conscious phase.
But I did it MY way;
Certain moves were a NAY
To avoid setting bad wrists ablaze.
Birding Gone Bad (Limerick)
Thursday, May 4th, 2023I was birding alone in a park,
When it suddenly got rather dark;
Though the forecast was “clear,”
Rain and hail were now here.
This was NOT my idea of a lark.
(Happy “Bird Day” — May 4.)
Pardon My French! (Limerick)
Monday, March 20th, 2023I used to speak French fairly well,
But my accent is no longer belle,
And my “je ne sais quoi”
Is reduced to a blah.
(That damn phrase is a struggle to spell!)
(Happy UN French Language Day! — March 20)
Limerick Ode To DST
Saturday, March 11th, 2023If you live in a part of our nation
That creates DST irritation
Via forward or back
Clock adjustments, alack!
Spring ahead for some sleep deprivation!