Archive for the ‘News Humor’ Category

Limerick Ode For “Hug A Newsperson Day”

Monday, April 4th, 2016

We should all give a virtual hug
To newspersons. Kindly don’t shrug;
Though they sure could do better,
We need them to fetter
Vile pols, oh so thuggish and smug.

Happy Hug A Newsperson Day! (April 4)

A Modest Media Proposal (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 11th, 2015

A Modest Media Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Jon Stewart is leaving his job.
Brian Williams? Been thrown to the mob.
Though it might make you queasy,
The answer is easy:
They replace one another. No prob!

Thanksgiving Limerick

Thursday, November 27th, 2014

Thanksgiving Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I should really stop singing the blues
And bemoaning the terrible news
And, instead, send this greeting:
At least we are eating;
Many people lack roof, food, and shoes.

May I Panic Yet? (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

May I Panic Yet? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m trying quite hard not to panic,
But poll trends are making me manic.
Prospects never looked great,
And it seems now that fate
Has ensnared us inside the Titanic.

(More new-related poetry over at DVerse Poets Pub.)

A Fool’s Errand? (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

A Fool’s Errand? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s alarmingly easy to lose
One’s sense of what’s true, so peruse
With great caution tales spun–
And not JUST April One.
There’s disinfo galore in the news.

Fun With News Headlines

Friday, December 13th, 2013

A recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest asked us to find a REAL headline in any publication, and “then write a ‘bank head’ that reinterprets the headline or comments wryly on it.”

Here are my entries, one of which got an Honorable Mention. Can you guess which? (The answer will appear “upside down” at the end of this post.)

Obama scoffs at people who call him a ‘socialist’
Socialists file libel suit

Saudi Arabian man arrested for giving out free hugs
“What? I should charge for them?” says Saudi hugger

Adam Levine is ‘People’ mag’s Sexiest Man Alive
People demand second opinion

Meet Magnus Carlsen, the ‘Justin Bieber’ of chess
Hunky Norwegian seeks World Chess, World Chest championships

Strand Bookstore ‘uses sprinklers to evict homeless’
Homeless thank Strand for first shower in years

Jake Gyllenhaal Punches Mirror on Set
In “fairest of them all” title dispute

Kidnapped Girl Found After 19-Year Manhunt
A girl-hunt might have been faster

Apple and Google “Dog Fight”
Pet-lovers stage boycott

Some Doctors Challenge New Statin Guidelines
Claim “whoever did the math must be on drugs”

Beaver steals hunter’s rifle
Pleads self-defense

Rob Ford stripped of key powers
Ford strips in protest, powers hurriedly restored

Belief is more powerful than proof
Prove it!

Dow, S&P close at new highs
Fox News explains why this is bad news for Obama

The Rules for Eating Lunch at Your Desk
Rule 1: Don’t!

Ted Turner wants to go to heaven
Clarifies: “No rush! Heaven can wait.”

Amazon Deforestation Rises
Increased e-book sales will reverse trend, Amazon claims

Chicago woman hopes to turn things around after 396 arrests
The 397th time’s the charm

Robots Allow Doctors To Remotely Advise, Diagnose Patients
Shrug off blame for “epidemic of golf course overcrowding”

Head defends dialect ban in class
Body disagrees

Dog Predicts Polar Bear Pregnancy
Denies paternity

Train Heading to NYC Goes Wrong-Way, Ends Up in Philly Suburbs
Stubborn conductor refuses to stop, ask for directions

McDonald’s restaurant turns to opera to drive out loitering teenagers
“Gounod’s Faust drives those devils out in five minutes flat,” says manager

Dinosaur Fossils Recreated Using CT Scanners and 3D Printers
Had great old time “doing it”

Rep. Trey Radel busted in cocaine sting
Poised to challenge Toronto’s Rob Ford in ’14 mayoralty race

Costco sorry for labeling Bibles as ‘fiction’
Relabels Bibles “sci-fi”

And here (in upside down form) is the entry that received an Honorable Mention:

„ɥsnɹ ou„ :sǝıɟıɹɐןɔ
uǝʌɐǝɥ oʇ oƃ oʇ sʇuɐʍ ɹǝuɹnʇ pǝʇ
:pɐǝɹ oʇ sɐ os ʇnɔ sɐʍ ʇı ‘ɹǝʌǝʍoɥ

„˙ʇıɐʍ uɐɔ uǝʌɐǝɥ ¡ɥsnɹ ou„ :sǝıɟıɹɐןɔ
uǝʌɐǝɥ oʇ oƃ oʇ sʇuɐʍ ɹǝuɹnʇ pǝʇ