Archive for the ‘Sports Humor’ Category

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ICE at the end of any one line

Sunday, November 27th, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using ICE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SHOPPING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SHOPPING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 11, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 10, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

I’m a klutz who used FIGURE skates twice.
Would I try again? Never! No dice!
I kept fretting I’d fall,
Hit the wall, and then sprawl,
As I skated on very thin ice.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To Golf

Wednesday, May 18th, 2016

Since it’s Golf Day, I thought I’d address
My embarrassing lack of finesse
Playing golf; Any game
That requires an aim
Leaves me minimal chance of success.

Limerick Ode To Bowling

Thursday, February 25th, 2016

A woman who never had bowled
Married into that sport-loving fold.
Forced to play — what a pickle!
But luck is so fickle;
Once beleaguered, she’s relishing gold.

(February 25 is Go Bowling Day, and the second Saturday in August is National Bowling Day.)

Open Limerick to Super Bowl Fans

Sunday, February 7th, 2016

If the game goes from boring to worse,
Don’t bother to sob or to curse.
Sublimation works well.
Be creative as hell:
Snap some photos, sketch, paint, or write verse.

PS: My latest Limerick-Off challenge has just begun. You can find it here.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ROE or THOREAU or ROW (which MUST use ROE Pronunciation) at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, August 1st, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using ROE or THOREAU or ROW (which MUST use ROE pronunciation) at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

My husband went out for a row–
Not a fight but a boat ride, although
I suppose while he works
Those oars, jet ski jerks
Could cause him to go toe to … tow.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Fair Game

Monday, April 6th, 2015

Fair Game
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I would never purport
to engage in a sport
unless mockery counts;
I do massive amounts.

I make comments in sport
that make some people snort.
I’m unsporting, some claim,
When at pols I take aim.

But those pols are fair game.
Their behavior’s to blame,
And they reap what they sow.
So it’s on with the show.

My political humor is on my other blog.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BEAM at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, March 21st, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using BEAM at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

The gymnast got high scores on beam,
But was hurled off the vault with a scream.
Seems some slippery foe
Had greased it — a blow
That pummeled the ranks of her team.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Sundry Super Bowl Verse

Sunday, February 1st, 2015

I’ll be drinking at home,
but not watching the game.
My disint’rest in football
is largely to blame.

As for Mark, he’ll be here
mostly viewing the ads
And enjoying the half-time
like “Katy Cat” lads.

*****

If the Super Bowl’s boring or worse,
There’s no need to complain or to curse.
Let your rhyme juices flow
While you’re watching the show;
Write a lim’rick – take solace in verse.

Sports Fictoids

Friday, February 21st, 2014

Since I know absolutely nothing about sports, I probably shouldn’t have bothered entering the Washington Post Style Invitational contest that requested “sports fictoids.”

My failed fictitious sports trivia entries are here:

* One-quarter of all competitive curlers earn money off-season by cleaning houses.

* Over one-percent of all U.S. divorce complaints name the NFL as an “alienation of affection” correspondent.

* A mistranslation almost caused Olympic Basketball to be replaced by Hula Hoops.

* Babe Ruth and O. Henry were bitter enemies.

* The NFL “Super Bowl” was initially called the “Super Plate.”

You can read the winning sports fictoids here.

Limerick Ode To A Stimulating Ride

Thursday, July 25th, 2013

Limerick Ode To A Stimulating Ride
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If a bike rider seems too elated–
First euphoric, than seemingly sated,
I suspect that her seat
May be vibrating heat,
And that she and her seat cover mated.

Note from Mad Kane: Yes, you can really add excitement to your bike trips with a “Happy Ride” Seat Cover. Apparently it does pretty much what you’d expect it to do.

My Super Bowl 2013 Wrap-Up (Limerick)

Monday, February 4th, 2013

My Super Bowl 2013 Wrap-Up (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rumor has it, the game’s fin’ly ended,
Long delayed till the lighting was mended.
Someone lost. Someone won.
Watchers surely had fun.
As for me, my TV — unattended.

(Okay, this is technically a lie: My TV was attended by hubby Mark.)

The Perils Of Super Bowl Fare (Limerick)

Sunday, February 3rd, 2013

The Perils Of Super Bowl Fare (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My blood nearly came to a boil,
As our microwave flamed. Was it oil?
We stopped it in time,
And Mark’s wings were sublime.
Lesson learned: They come wrapped up in foil.

(While engrossed in the game, hubby Mark absent-mindedly put his box of Pizza Hut chicken wings in the microwave. Bad idea!)

Canned Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, February 3rd, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And since it’s Super Bowl Sunday, I’m offering you an alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to the Super Bowl, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Super Bowl limerick.

And now, getting back to your regular Limerick-Off challenge: I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who’d been recently canned…*

or

A gal who’d been recently canned…*

or

A man who’d been served something canned…*

or

A gal who’d been served something canned…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Canned Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A pianist, quite recently canned,
Was promoting his newly-formed band.
But his bucks now are fewer:
He bribed a reviewer
Who wrote for one K, “This band’s grand!”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Dear Driver (Limerick)

Thursday, January 31st, 2013

Dear Driver (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear driver, here’s crucial advice
That I hope I won’t have to say twice:
It’s best not to drive
Wearing skates. You won’t thrive,
Cuz you’re skating on very thin ice.

This limerick was inspired by this news item about a Canadian fellow charged with driving through a red light. He was on his way to a rink and had been driving while wearing ice hockey skates:

Driving with skates “is probably not very safe” because the motorist has limited contact with the brake and gas pedals, said Staff Sgt. Ken Hruska.

Limerick Ode To Olympic Beach Volleyball

Monday, July 30th, 2012

Limerick Ode To Olympic Beach Volleyball
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch those barely clad women play ball
On the beach, keeping viewers in thrall,
Gals hoping to volley
Olympic wins. Golly!
I’m surprised they wear clothing at all.

Nude Yoga? Yikes! (Limerick)

Thursday, March 29th, 2012

Yoga’s been in the news quite a bit lately. Is it good for you? Is it bad for you? Should you purchase some fancy yoga garb and skip the actual yoga?

But the oddest story so far is this one about naked yoga classes in South Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York.

Nude Yoga? Yikes!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Take a yoga class naked? How scary!
I confess that the thought makes me wary.
Yes I’ll gladly condone
Nude yoga alone.
But in public? I’m sorry. Too hairy.

(If you’re in Brooklyn and want to study yoga in a more modest fashion, check out my niece’s Crown Heights Fitness.)

Related Posts: A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth? and Yoga For What?

Off One’s Game Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, February 5th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was way off his game…*

or

A woman was way off her game…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Off One’s Game (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was way off his game
And was looking for someone to blame.
He concluded that God
Had given the nod
To his nemesis — talk about lame!

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Super Bowl 2012 Limerick

Saturday, February 4th, 2012

While hubby Mark and I are New Yorkers, Mark went to college in Boston — Northeastern University. So, with the New York Giants and the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, you’d think he might be conflicted. My limerick explains why he isn’t:

Super Bowl 2012 Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband is ready to gaze
At the Super Bowl game in a haze.
With junk food and beer,
For New England he’ll cheer.
We’re New Yorkers. The Giants are strays.

Limerick Ode To Hot Dog Heckling

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

The hot dog throwing incident almost made me feel sorry for Tiger Woods. Of course, if Tiger Woods sang Italian opera, it would have been fruit.

Limerick Ode To Hot Dog Heckling
By Madeleine Begun kane

An inventive new golf misdemeanor
Is attack Tiger Woods with a wiener.
Yes, a hot dog was thrown
And a frank critique shown.
It could have been worse: Orangina?

Thrilling Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, July 24th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too. (You can even post it here on Google+ if you’d like to.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who loved a good thrill…

or

A woman who loved a good thrill…

Here’s mine:

Thrilling Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who loved a good thrill
Went skiing and took a bad spill.
His wife said “Enough!
I don’t care that you’re tough.
You’d better start writing your will.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!