Archive for the ‘Television (TV) Humor’ Category

Choice Viewing (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 4th, 2015

Choice Viewing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What with networks and Netflix and cable
And Hulu and Amazon’s stable
Of shows to be seen,
I’m too wired to screen;
Feeling feeble, can’t pick — kindly table.

Limerick Ode To The Tonys

Sunday, June 8th, 2014

Limerick Ode To The Tonys
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’ll be watching the Tonys tonight
And rooting for Tony. That’s right —
It’s Shalhoub in “Act One”
Who should win when they’re done
Toting votes, or my angst won’t be slight.

Nightmare Limerick

Monday, February 17th, 2014

Nightmare Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I rarely remember my dreams,
Except those that go off to extremes,
Like last night’s — I was taken:
A hostage, till wakin’.
I should stop watching Homeland, it seems.

Odes To Roger Ebert, Ed Koch, Van Cliburn, & “Dear Abby” Columnist Pauline Phillips

Thursday, January 30th, 2014

This week’s Style Invitational features the witty winning entries in its contest for poems that commemorate people who died in 2013. Here are my non-winning ditties about Roger Ebert, New York City Mayor Ed Koch, concert pianist Van Cliburn, and “Dear Abby” columnist Pauline Phillips:

Roger Ebert:

For films that were plums,
Way up went his thumbs.
When downward they’d roam,
You’d know to stay home.

*****

Mayor Edward Koch:

This mayor rescued NYC
From near-financial ruin;
Ed Koch his name, his fav’rite game
Was asking “How’m I doin’?”

*****

Pauline Friedman Phillips a/k/a Abigail Van Buren:

“Dear Abby” was her column
Telling readers what to do.
Give your friends that very counsel?
That’s an act you’ll surely rue.

*****

Van Cliburn:

In a world-wide Moscow contest
Van Cliburn sure impressed.
But this USA pianist
Had the piano judges stressed.

They felt that he deserved to win
And so with trepidation
They asked Nikita, “Can we please
Give Cliburn top ovation?”

Mr. Khrushchev gave an answer
That surprised them. It was wise:
“If Van Cliburn played the very best,
Then give that man first prize.”

So a classical musician
Helped achieve a cold war thaw:
An American in Russia
Playing piano past a draw.

Reality TV Humor (New York Magazine Contest)

Tuesday, January 21st, 2014

New York Magazine recently started a new weekly contest. This week’s challenge is to invent titles of a “premodern reality-television series.” You can enter either on Twitter or in the contest page’s comment section.

Here are my entries (on Twitter) so far:

The Real Cavewives of Windsor

The Dinosaur Hunter

Reinventing The Wheel

Dancing With The Bard

Keeping Up With The Bardashians

The Sorcery Apprentice

Open Limerick To Hubby Mark

Friday, December 27th, 2013

I wrote this limerick in response to Mark’s post about being urged by Facebook to “like” Kim Kardashian’s page.

Open Limerick To Hubby Mark
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Mark, I don’t mean to sound prim,
But I’d rather you NOT be-friend Kim.
If you do, your IQ
(already askew)
Will drop points till your brain power’s dim.

Reality TV Shows That Will Never Be Produced

Thursday, November 14th, 2013

In a recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest (Week 1043), we were challenged to invent fake celebrity reality shows. I enjoyed many of the winning entries, especially several of the Honorable Mentions. So be sure to click that link and read about those never-to-be shows.

Alas, no ink for me this week. But here are my three non-winning entries:

“Dancing Behind Bars.” Former “Dancing with the Stars” judge Bruno Tonioli launches his quest for “fast on their feet felons,” after running out of minimally talented dancers in the general population. “Inmates have so much talent, it’s criminal,” raves Bruno. “The cat burglars have stolen my heart! And those death row moves are killer!”

“The Sex Factor.” After losing control of the Miss USA and Miss Universe franchises in yet another bankruptcy, Donald Trump makes a comeback with a weekly beauty contest that, according to Trump, will be “really big” with “lots of bikinis and no interviews.” Says Trump, “girls should be seen and not heard … unless they went to Wharton.”

“Dancing Up In Mars” marks a “new frontier in reality TV, taking dance competitions to the next step.” Says host Newt Gingrich, “the gravity difference presents a grave challenge. But on the upside, Mars doesn’t enforce alimony laws. So no more checks to my six (or is it seven?) exes.”

Limerick Ode To The Emmy Awards

Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

Limerick Ode To The Emmy Awards
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Emmy Awards are tonight,
An annual Sunday night rite,
At which some make the list,
And others feel dissed,
And carpers harp: “TV’s a blight!”

Yet Another Limerick Ode To “Rabbit Ears”

Saturday, August 3rd, 2013

Yet Another Limerick Ode To “Rabbit Ears”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Most New Yorkers can’t see CBS.
It’s a hairy Time Warner Co mess.
But I see it fee-free:
We’ve no cable, you see,
And use rabbit ears — access success!

Note from Mad Kane: This limerick was inspired by the fee dispute between Time Warner Cable and CBS. A previous feud between Time Warner Cable and ABC inspired my original Ode To “Rabbit Ears.”

My Two Cents About The Voice (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

My Two Cents About The Voice
By Madeleine Begun Kane

On the Voice my fav entrants are out.
It’s Sasha and Amber I’d tout.
Danielle doesn’t phrase,
Yet they keep heaping praise.
I just hope it’s Michelle in a rout.

Limerick Ode To Miserable Singing

Monday, February 25th, 2013

Many people were offended by Seth MacFarlane’s “Saw Your Boobs” at last night’s Oscars. But, at the risk of damaging my feminist cred, I’m not one of them.

Of course, I do understand the negative reaction. However, the song didn’t bother me because I viewed it as parody, rather than misogyny.

But what did bother me at the Oscars was everybody pretending that the Les Misérables cast can sing.

Limerick Ode To Miserable Singing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are folks who appear up in arms:
For the “boob song,” they sound the alarms.
But to me, here’s what riled:
Dreadful singing gone wild
In Les Miz — kindly call les gendarmes.

My Super Bowl 2013 Wrap-Up (Limerick)

Monday, February 4th, 2013

My Super Bowl 2013 Wrap-Up (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rumor has it, the game’s fin’ly ended,
Long delayed till the lighting was mended.
Someone lost. Someone won.
Watchers surely had fun.
As for me, my TV — unattended.

(Okay, this is technically a lie: My TV was attended by hubby Mark.)

In Defense Of TV (Limerick)

Friday, June 8th, 2012

From time to time, somebody annoys me with bald assertions like this: “I don’t own a TV; they rot the brain.”

I usually ignore them, but NOT this time:

In Defense Of TV (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There is good stuff and bad on TV.
Some will rot out your brain, I agree.
(Fox News comes to mind.)
But there’s great stuff to find.
Just be choosy and spurn the debris.

House To Close Its Doors (Limerick)

Thursday, February 9th, 2012

Fox’s medical drama House is finally coming to an end. So it’s confession time: I hate House.

In fact, I loathe all medical dramas, doctor comedies, and any other show about sick people. Why? Because the mere mention of symptoms makes me start feeling them. So if I want to avoid real life doctors, I have to stay far away from the fake ones.

House To Close Its Doors (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though it’s not my intention to grouse,
I detest doctor dramas, like House:
TV ailments and ills
Make me itch, give me chills.
WebMD, here I come — Where’s my mouse?

Limerick Ode To Peter Falk

Friday, June 24th, 2011

Mark and I were very saddened to hear that Peter Falk has died. He’s provided so much entertainment and so many laughs over the years, I had to write this limerick:

Limerick Ode To Peter Falk
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Alas, we have lost Peter Falk.
He was famed for his “one more thing” talk.
His Columbo spurred laughs
With his “just pretend” gaffes,
As he nailed ev’ry bad guy he’d stalk.

Newsy Limerick 2

Monday, March 28th, 2011

Newsy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Restricting your diet of news
To outlets endorsing your views
Reinforces beliefs
And bias and beefs.
Why bother? You might as well snooze.

(Prompted by this circular poetry writing prompt.)

Author’s Note: I just realized that this limerick could just as easily fit in my other blog where I post political humor and satire.

American Idol Not Idyllic

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

American Idol Not Idyllic (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I watched Idol last night — wasn’t dandy.
They gave compliments out just like candy.
And something is wrong
When with song after song
The toughest of judges is Randy.

(Linked in I Saw Sunday)

Limerick Odes To Charlie Sheen

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

After flunking (badly) The Guardian’s Who Said This — Gaddafi or Charlie Sheen quiz, I forced myself to watch ABC’s entire 20/20 Charlie Sheen interview conducted (I’m not sure how) by Andrea Canning. Yikes!

I’m no shrink, but if Sheen isn’t certifiable, I can’t imagine who is. Yet Sheen’s suing CBS and Warner Bros. for canceling Two and a Half Men. CBS and Warner Bros. should keep a copy on hand of ABC’s interview. Because that show gives CBS all the ammunition it needs to defeat Sheen’s case. We’re talking loony-tunes-uninsurable!

And so, Charlie Sheen has earned himself two “Dear Charlie” letter limericks. Here’s the first:

Dear Charlie, you’re acting bizarre.
We don’t need yet another sick star.
You appear on the brink
Of a breakdown, yet think
You’re not crazy, which proves that you are.

And here’s my second limerick:

Dear Charlie, you’re losing your sheen.
Once funny, you’re now turning mean.
It’s clear that you’re sick.
Get some help. Do it quick!
And stop wasting your comedy gene.

(You can find more letters at Write A Letter.)

Newsy Limerick

Sunday, February 6th, 2011

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who reported the news…

Here’s mine:

Newsy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who reported the news
Had some very odd habits and views.
He’d rant and he’d rave
And refuse to behave.
And when caught in a lie, he blamed booze.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Yet Another 2011 Super Bowl Limerick

Saturday, February 5th, 2011

Help! I can’t stop writing Super Bowl limericks! After reading about the disastrous Dallas weather leading up to tomorrow’s Super Bowl game, I felt compelled to write this limerick. (Full disclosure: Roughly a zillion years ago I lived in Dallas, played oboe in the Dallas Symphony, and taught oboe at SMU.)

Yet Another 2011 Super Bowl Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A friend of ours living in Dallas
Likes to brag that his city’s a palace,
Taunting “Never get snow!”
Then it snowed (don’t you know)
On the game. I won’t laugh cuz it’s callous.