It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A caveman would give her a knock
On the head with a stone or a crock,
No romantic palaver …
Today, we are suaver,
And stun them with Tiffany rock.
Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for these three limericks, each of which received the most Facebook “likes.” (Yes, Chris is in a three-way tie with himself.)
At midnight there came a strange knock,
A tap-tapping that rattled the lock.
‘Twas a crow at the door
Of my store to implore
That I keep Poe’s “The Raven” in stock.
As you’re surfing online, there’s a knock
At the door, then a shout, “Break the lock!”
It’s the Feds, who suppose
You make bombs since you chose
As your tag “the nuke kid on the block.”
My joke, which begins with “Knock, knock,”
Prompts your question “Who’s there?” and then shock
When my “Ivan” to you
Makes you ask, “Ivan who?”
And I say: “Ivan EighteenInchCock.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Ailsa McKillop, Steve Whitred, Charley Simmons, Fred Bortz, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A dog who had learned how to knock
Would stop at each door on his block.
He knew not to beg,
So he’d just lift his leg
And if given a treat, no wet sock!
The circle all heard a loud knock.
Cried their leader (in black trailing frock):
“Oh spirit, pray speak!”
To her left was a shriek.
That latecomer caused quite a shock.
In Boston a drug cop’s a ‘nawc’
And a prank or a spree is a ‘lawk.’
All the dogs are baroque.
This I swear is no joke:
At the moon they don’t howl, they just ‘Bach.’
A sailor gal heard a loud knock.
At the door, she was in for a shock.
For a flasher was there.
He was smiling and bare,
So she tied a square knot on his cock.
At the séance when I heard the knock,
I was sure it was charlatan schlock.
Then the medium, small,
Loomed quite large after all,
When my late Granny started to talk.
Will T. Laughlin:
You open the door to the knock:
It’s a skeleton holding a clock.
It hits you (too late)
As you go to your Fate
That you ought to have gone to the Doc.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
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