Archive for the ‘Limerick Writing Contest’ Category

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LIST or ENLIST at the end of any one line

Sunday, February 19th, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LIST or ENLIST at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LAZINESS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LAZINESS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 5, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 4, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

While at work, I created a list
Of reasons I’m listless and pissed.
When it grew rather long,
I blissed out on a bong,
Until caught doing wrong and dismissed.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (271)

Sunday, February 19th, 2017

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

Will T. Laughlin:

There’s a fellow I met in the street
Whose phrasebook’s a tad incomplete.
When he comes up to greet you
And say, “Pleased to meet you…”
It comes out: “I pleasure your meat!”

I tried to correct the man — twice —
But he just wouldn’t heed my advice.
“PLEASED. TO. MEET. YOU.” I said;
He just nodded his head,
And continued: “Your meat, it is nice!”

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special Battle of the Sexes-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

They met at the Amazon store;
Excited, she opted for more.
But later that night
As she reached for the light,
Alexa yelled “Show him the door!”

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

His guests felt the welcoming heat
Of the barbecue. “What will we eat?
“Kebabs!” Vlad would jest
While impaling each guest,
For they were supplying the meat.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Reddekopp, Richard Campbell, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Michael Moulton, Brian Allgar, Marty Gerendasy, Suzanne Heymann, and Sharon Neeman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: MEAT/MEET/METE RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO BATTLE of the SEXES LIMERICKS)

David Reddekopp:

A father was trying to cheat,
So his wife had some justice to mete.
The next day, the news read,
“Deadbeat Dad is Beat Dead.”
For her crime, an electrified seat.

Richard Campbell:

On 2/10, if we happen to meet,
And I find you both sexy and sweet,
I’ll not call right away,
So I don’t have to pay
For a big-ticket Valentine’s treat.

Dave Johnson:

A butcher named Bud thinks he’s neat;
That women just fall at his feet.
But he found out from Jill
That without his blue pill,
There’s no market for Bud’s boneless meat.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (MEAT/MEET/METE RHYME DIVISION)

Fred Bortz:

At a long-distance runners retreat,
They discussed how to win every meet.
Finish first (Boy, oh Boy!)–
That’s victorious joy.
If you’re last, there’s the pain of de-feet.

Mike Moulton:

Did Trump and his match finally meet
When a judge without missing a beat,
Said, “Your ban is now void.
If that leaves you annoyed,
Then knock yourself out with a tweet.”

Brian Allgar, in which Titus Andronicus invites the Empress Tamora to dinner:

“Can’t resist, though my diet forbids,”
Said Tamora, “those puff-pastry lids,
And your pies are so sweet,
With such fresh, tender meat . . .”
He explained they contained her own kids.

Marty Gerendasy:

A lass with a smile oh so sweet
Sold her “wares” to each guy that she’d meet.
But her efforts soon failed
And she found herself jailed.
Never mess with a cop on the beat!

Suzanne Heymann:

The grocery chain called to greet
The new meat vendor, just down the street.
Now the payment’s complete
Per the butcher’s receipt,
So he’ll mete out the meat when they meet.

Fred Bortz:

The President said in a tweet
“When Vladimir comes for a meet,
Flynn and I will be gushin’.
We love all things Russian
Like borscht, whether cabbage or beet.”

That story’s, of course, incomplete.
Flynn’s now gone from his comfortable seat,
And Spicer, that worm,
Has to spin it and squirm
While the press holds his feet to the heat.

I wish I could say this is sweet,
But revenge is not always a treat.
There’s no joy, I confess,
When our country’s a mess.
We’re living the pain of defeat.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (BATTLE of the SEXES LIMERICK DIVISION)

Richard Campbell:

On Twitter, he’d woo and he’d ply ’er
With promises — things he would buy ’er.
But now that they’ve met,
She’s beset with regret.
It’s quite clear he’s a lecherous liar!

Dave Johnson:

While texting an amorous friend,
She shouldn’t have quickly hit “send.”
Because autofill wrote
That he looked like a goat
Which, alas, may have started the end.

Sharon Neeman:

She may well have invented the spark
That woke the world out of the dark,
But although she’s gone far,
Men still look at her car
And assume she can’t parallel park.

Dave Johnson:

A couple quite often would fight
In the morning, or later at night.
With no cuddles or pecks,
The one mention of sex:
“Screw you” as she turned out the light.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Meet or Meat or Mete at the end of any one line

Saturday, February 4th, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Meet or Meat or Mete at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to the Battle of the Sexes, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Battle of the Sexes-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 19, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

After coming in first at the meet,
The winner announced, “I am beat!”
This bewildered the crowd
Which, till then, had been wowed:
What victor proclaims his defeat?

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (270)

Saturday, February 4th, 2017

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

His horn-rims, bow tie and slicked hair
Are so retro that people just stare.
He’s been growing rotund-er,
Which leads me to wonder
How someone so round can be square.

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins the Special DISHONESTY-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

Dear Kelly Ann Conway: I swear
On my best day, I never would dare
To tap-dance like you,
Claiming something is true.
Admiringly yours,
— Fred Astaire.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Dave Johnson, J Cosmo Newbery, Brian Allgar, Wendy Playter, Will T. Laughlin, Tim James,
Richard Campbell, Sharon Neeman, and Kirk Miller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (STARE/STAIR RHYME DIVISION)

Dave Johnson

She stood by the uppermost stair;
Then rode down the banister bare.
Her lover’s surmise
From the look in her eyes:
“She’s warming my dinner with care.”

J Cosmo Newbery:

When Godiva paraded, all bare,
The townsfolk agreed not to stare.
But temptation was steep,
And young Tom took a peep,
Then swore he’d just looked at her hair.

Brian Allgar:

When your gaze is a menacing stare,
And your small, piggy eyes seem to glare,
And your mouth is agape –
No, you’re not a Great Ape,
Just the POTUS they’re calling “Mein Herr”.

Wendy Playter:

A classic rock fan named Janelle
Went down to her basement, but fell.
Her Led Zeppelin flair
Was smashed on the stair,
And now it’s a stairway to hell.

Will T. Laughlin:

World leaders continue to stare
At the man with the ludicrous hair:
They find it bewild’rin’
That refugee children
Give Trump such a pants-wetting scare.

Tim James:

When he and his bride tied the knot
Their relations were frequent and hot.
They made love on the stair.
Standing up. In a chair.
The result: a bad back is his lot.

Richard Campbell:

The mountain path rose like a stair,
But it led to a grizzly bear’s lair.
What I did not foresee
Was that good-tasting me
Would become that damn bear’s dinner fare.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DISHONESTY LIMERICK DIVISION)

Sharon Neeman:

Alternative facts are so crass!
Their users lack wit, sense and class —
But oh, how they’ll grieve
When the web that they weave
Trips them up and they fall on their (_|_)!

Tim James:

I suspect that Trump lies when he speaks
About Vlad and the lev’rage he seeks.
“Money, hookers and pee?
He’s got nothing on me!”
Pity Trump; he’s been damaged by leaks.

Kirk Miller:

Politicians have tried to disguise
Their false statements, a ploy I despise.
They’re not alternate facts
Or fake news. Each distracts
From the truth. They are just simply lies!

Will T. Laughlin: (Be sure to click on his line 5 link for the translation and Russian pronunciation.)

“Mr. Trump? We have all heard you bellow
That you don’t enjoy showers of yellow.
But the truth must be told:
Are you Russian-controlled?”
Said Trump: “это не твое дело!”

Sharon Neeman:

Trumpty Dumpty, he ran on a wall;
He said Mexico’d pay, I recall —
But that orange-haired liar
Set OUR pants on fire
By making us pay for it all.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STARE or STAIR at the end of any one line

Sunday, January 22nd, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STARE or STAIR at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DISHONESTY, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DISHONESTY-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 5, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 4, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A fellow will frequently stare
At people as if they are bare.
When informed this is lewd
And unbearably crude,
He’ll retort rather rudely: “Don’t care!”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (269)

Sunday, January 22nd, 2017

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to JESSE LEVY, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

A broom and his buddy, a mop
Decided that all crime should stop.
The broom did quite well;
Swept out felons pell mell.
But the mop was a flop as a cop.

Congratulations to RICHARD CAMPBELL, who wins the Special BLUES-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

My whole life, fate has thrown me the screws.
All that helps now is drugs, broads, and booze.
Don’t get up before noon;
Drift saloon to saloon.
I sure got me them old 12-bar blues.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Reddekopp, Suzanne Heymann, Craig Dykstra, Konrad Schwoerke, Dave Johnson, Sue Dulley, Tim James, and Brian Allgar. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“COP” RHYME DIVISION)

David Reddekopp:

There once was a frisky old fop.
For a whore he decided to shop.
So this horny old heel
First tried copping a feel,
’Til he found he was feeling a cop.

Suzanne Heymann:

She thought a low neck line was hotter
If, when speeding, police finally caught her.
Sure enough, soon a cop
Made her zooming car stop,
But what made this a flop – she’s his daughter!

Craig Dykstra:

Wrote a verse that I think coulda won it,
But immediately after I’d run it,
Mad the “Limerick Cop”
Said my rhyme was a flop
Just ’cause someone had already done it!

Konrad Schwoerke:

While selling my lucrative crop,
A policeman enjoined me to stop.
“Sure, I know it’s legit,
But you soon won’t have shit,
And I must be off duty to cop.”

Dave Johnson:

If I were a history cop,
I’d hold up my hand and yell “Stop!”
We’re about to embark
On a horrible lark,
With a carnival huckster on top.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (BLUES LIMERICK DIVISION)

Sue Dulley:

A limerick’s not like the Blues.
No, a limerick’s not… I can’t use
The same words for line two
As line one. If I do,
It’s a ruse Mad won’t choose to excuse.

Suzanne Heymann:

If music’s a hobby you choose,
Stay on key and please lay off the booze!
But if you keep on flinging
Bad notes, I’ll be bringing
You pain till you’re singing the blues.

Tim James:

If you suffer sometimes from the blues
Don’t try drugs, promiscuity, booze.
Take a tip from my wife:
For those low points in life,
Nothing helps like a new pair of shoes.

Brian Allgar:

The Republicans used to be blue
And the Democrats red. So what’s new?
With the Democrats dead
And Republicans red,
We are all feeling blue through and through.

Tim James, for his Acrostic Limerick:

On Election Day, many were blue.
But take comfort, for this is what’s true:
Although Donald’s an ass,
Mr. O’s act is class
And he’s shown what a good man can do.

Konrad Schwoerke:

The work is depressing at zoos,
So I often go home with the blues.
And it’s getting more bleak,
For example, last week,
We received really terrible gnus.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: COP at the end of any one line

Sunday, January 8th, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using COP at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to the blues, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best blues-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 22, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 21, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

“I’m compelled to write lim’ricks. Can’t stop!
“I keep popping out rhymes till I drop.
“When I drive they continue
“To spew from each sinew…”
“What a screwball excuse!” said the cop.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (268)

Sunday, January 8th, 2017

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to DAVID REDDEKOPP, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

“The hypotenuse,” he would opine,
“Should connect to each right-angled line.”
My geometry prof
Would proceed to go off
On a tangent of cosine and sine.

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special Resolution-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

I’d resolved not to vote for a chump;
Now we’re cursed with one Donald J. Trump.
So I need a new pledge;
If I’m close to a ledge,
Resist the temptation to jump.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Craig Dykstra, David Reddekopp, Sue Dulley, Diane Groothuis, Suzanne Heymann, Marty Gerendasy, and Wendy Playter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SIGN” RHYME DIVISION)

Brian Allgar:

Is it love that is making her whine?
Can her soft, pleading gaze be a sign
Of unfailing devotion?
No, I have a notion
My dog is impatient to dine.

Craig Dykstra:

I really don’t mean to malign,
But our logo’s a crappy design.
Legibility’s wanting
From poor choice of fonting –
I fear it’s the Times of our Sign.

David Reddekopp:

A pious man drove by a field,
Looked up and to God he appealed;
He beseeched the divine
To send him a sign,
And he saw one. It told him to yield.

Sue Dulley:

Some quilts I design I will sign
On the back, but the choice there is mine.
I will not write my name
So I don’t get the blame
If the quilt turns out lame (like this line.)

Diane Groothuis:

An architect went out to dine,
In hopes that his client would sign.
But his plan was rejected
In mode unexpected;
“Your erection just can’t equal mine.”

HONORABLE MENTIONS (RESOLUTIONS LIMERICK DIVISION)

Suzanne Heymann:

“Resolutions – be more like your brother!”
Blurts my bossy, but well-meaning mother.
She can scream, she can shout,
But it does, without doubt,
Go in one year and then out the other.

Marty Gerendasy:

Resolutions, both written and spoken
All too often turn out to be token.
Though our thoughts are sincere,
All our plans disappear.
Resolutions were meant to be broken!

Wendy Playter:

When last year had started anew,
I listed what I’d like to do:
Make twice as much cash,
And lose my fat stash.
But sadly, I mixed up the two.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Resolution Suggestion (Limerick)

Sunday, January 1st, 2017

If your past resolutions seem old
And you’d like one that’s novel and bold,
You could vow to spend time
With more wordplay and rhyme…
And to enter the contests I hold.

My Limerick-Off challenges are always the top post on this page.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SIGN at the end of any one line

Saturday, December 24th, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SIGN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RESOLUTIONS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RESOLUTIONS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 8, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 7, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

When a gal asked a guy, “What’s your sign?”
He responded, “You’re way out of line!
“Don’t be nosy,” he cried.
“You just blew it,” she sighed.
No one scores with that Scorpio whine.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (267)

Saturday, December 24th, 2016

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to DAVID REDDEKOPP, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

It’s clear that I haven’t a clue
How to clean out a chimney. It’s true;
When I tried, it instead
Just collapsed on my head.
Now I’m laid up in bed from the flue.

Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Special PARTY-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

A beekeeper friend of mine, Marty,
Remarked with a laugh that was hearty:
“When a new hive is done,
Bees and I have some fun.
I throw them a house swarming party.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Suzanne Heymann, Tim James, Ken Gosse, Mike Burch, Judith H. Block, David Reddekopp, Richard Campbell, Wendy Playter, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTION (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: “FLU” RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO PARTY LIMERICKS)

Brian Allgar

They were partying; he was so high,
LSD made him think he could fly.
Well, it’s true that he flew
For a second or two,
Till the moment he ran out of sky.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“FLU” RHYME DIVISION)

Suzanne Heymann:

’Tis the season for saying, “Achoo!”
What to do for a cold or a flu?
Drink some honey and lemon
And rest till it’s stemmin’
The coughin’ and phlegmin’ in you.

Tim James:

It was Christmas Eve. Santa was due,
Bearing goodies and gifts, a whole slew.
All my hopes, though, were dashed:
In the chimney he crashed.
I’d forgotten to open the flue.

Ken Gosse:

An old woman who lived in a shoe
Lost her health when they all caught the flu,
Found a book in her cupboard
By ol’ L Ron Hubbard,
And soon lost her life savings too.

Brian Allgar:

The hooker appeared ill at ease;
Her client had started to sneeze.
He was catching the flu!
Far too risky to screw,
So she stayed at arm’s length on her knees.

Mike Burch:

A fly with the flu foully flew
Up my nose — thought I’d die — had to sue!
Now I’m out of my mind
Cuz the trial judge declined
My lawsuit; I’d “failed to achoo.”

HONORABLE MENTIONS (PARTY LIMERICK DIVISION)

Judith H. Block:

The parties! The booze and the food!
The laughter; The fun, festive mood!
More platefuls? Why, YES!
Though it’s all in excess.
Can’t refuse them ’cause that would be rude!

Tim James:

We met at a New Year’s soirée,
Drinking wine till we got enivré.
Such a sweet mademoiselle,
And a fille oh so belle!
And the way she could French made my day.

David Reddekopp

We thought that the party was super
And we drank ourselves into a stupor.
Then in came the dog
To drop a large log;
That bitch was a big party pooper.

Richard Campbell:

It’s a party, a bash, and a binge;
An affair and a fête — but I cringe.
And my ire will ignite,
If Trump dares to invite
All his friends from the lunatic fringe.

Wendy Playter:

A party is not where it’s at
When you’re wearing an introvert’s hat.
So when it gets loud,
I exit the crowd
And I sneak off to go pet the cat.

Dave Johnson:

Her mother said “Yes, you should go;
Perhaps you might meet a new beau.”
At the party, she sighs;
The available guys
Act like Larry and Curly and Moe.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FLU, FLEW, or FLUE at the end of any one line

Saturday, December 10th, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FLU, FLEW, or FLUE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PARTIES, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PARTY-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 25, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 24, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here are my two sample limericks:

I never get shots for the flu.
It’s just something I don’t like to do;
I’m convinced they won’t work,
And I’ll feel like a jerk
When succumbing to germs from the queue.

and

I’m hoping you won’t misconstrue
This as telling you what you should do:
Our abode smells of smoke,
Which isn’t a joke.
Did you choke off our fireplace flue?

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (266)

Saturday, December 10th, 2016

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

I know you’ve been naughty, not nice,
By indulging your energy vice.
My traditional role
Is to leave you some coal,
But you’d burn it and there goes the ice.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special SHOPPING-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

On Black Friday they heeded the call
To Go Buy! They jammed in, wall-to-wall.
Trampling, mayhem and fights
Are the ample delights
Of tradition: The Great Shopping Maul.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kirk Miller, Robert Schechter, Brian Allgar, Suzanne Heymann, Jeanine Silverio, Konrad Schwoerke, Tim James, Wendy Playter, Linda Ann Nickerson, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“ICE” RHYME DIVISION)

Kirk Miller:

The new skating rink blueprints are nice,
But they carry a very high price.
Funding’s frozen and they
Say expect a delay,
So the architect’s put it on ice.

Robert Schechter:

An Eskimo asked, “What advice
Would you give me to help me entice
A woman in Gnome
To come into my home?”
I said, “You must first break the ice.”

Brian Allgar:

If your wife asks for helpful advice
About jeans she’s just purchased, think twice.
“Do they make me look fat?”
“Only slightly.” Then, splat!
Now I’m soothing my eye with some ice.

Suzanne Heymann:

I once had a head full of lice,
And a friend said, “Just freeze ’em with ice.
Simply stick your whole head
On the Knik River bed.”
Now I’m buried and dead. (Great advice!)

Jeanine Jamero Silverio:

For you couples all looking to spice
Up your love life, well here’s some advice:
Think your wife’s down to earth
And cares not for net worth?
She’ll get hot for two carats of ice.

Konrad Schwoerke:

My mail-order bride wasn’t nice.
Said my legerdemain was a vice,
And magicians are lame,
So I’m hardly to blame
For turning the bitch into ICE.

Tim James:

A plumber tried breaking the ice
With the lady next door. She was nice,
And she made her needs plain.
So he snaked out her drain.
She was thoroughly satisfied. Twice.

Wendy Playter:

A mob boss named Sugary Ned
Liked baked goods and one day he said,
“It would be very nice
If this cake got some ice!”
(And later the cake turned up dead.)

Robert Schechter:

When you die, if you pay a high price
They avow they will put you on ice
And thaw you someday
The moment that they
Are able, so you can live twice.

But don’t bother, my friend. I will bet you
There’s little this process will net you,
For even if they
Could cure you someday
It’s more likely by far they’d forget you.

Linda Ann Nickerson:

My neighbor’s demeanor’s like ice.
He gives answers unkind, imprecise.
He’ll stop, stand, and stare
With nary a care,
And he won’t take his own bad advice.

When pigs fly, he’ll pick up his trash,
And he may even burn up his stash.
The scents from his deck
Bounce like a bad check,
So daily our teeth we do gnash.

And still, as he passes, I wave,
But hope he’ll go back in his cave.
He won’t be ignored,
For he’s head of the Board,
So all of us have to behave.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (SHOPPING LIMERICK DIVISION)

Brian Allgar:

The shop-lifting queen often gloats
Of the number of items she totes.
“I’m thin before thieving,
But fat when I’m leaving –-
Five sweaters, four skirts, and three coats.”

Dave Johnson:

They ordered a fancy new phone
Delivered by Amazon drone.
The service was fast,
But left them aghast;
Their chimney’s a dropping-off zone.

Suzanne Heymann:

Have you ever seen some woman shopping,
While her man tags along with store-hopping?
He’s there holding her bags,
While she tries on new rags.
On and on he just lags without stopping!

How about, at the end of the day,
She should let him just have his own way;
He will tell her, “I dare
You to put on and wear
Just your birthday suit there on display!”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ICE at the end of any one line

Sunday, November 27th, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using ICE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SHOPPING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SHOPPING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 11, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 10, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

I’m a klutz who used FIGURE skates twice.
Would I try again? Never! No dice!
I kept fretting I’d fall,
Hit the wall, and then sprawl,
As I skated on very thin ice.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (265)

Sunday, November 27th, 2016

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

My smartphone, though lightweight and small,
Has thousands of ‘apps’; got them all —
Facebook, Twitter, TV …
But it’s too smart for me,
For I’ve never worked out how to call.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special ANXIETY-Themed Limerick Award for this clever limerick:

Anxiety hangs like a pall
Round the world, as it grips one and all.
Other nations ask why
We would vote for that guy.
(I hear Canada’s building a wall.)

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special THANKSGIVING-Themed Limerick Award for this clever limerick:

We’ve elected a hideous elf,
Who’s pushing us off of the shelf.
It’s suddenly clear
For Thanksgiving next year,
This turkey will pardon himself.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Marty Gerendasy, Diane Groothuis, Sue Dulley, Brian Allgar, Wendy Playter, Tim James, Suzanne Heymann, Jeanine Silverio, Dave Johnson, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: “CALL” RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO ANXIETY LIMERICKS)

Marty Gerendasy:

High anxiety’s what I would call
The bad feeling I’m getting this fall.
’Cause the stakes are so high,
It’s for sure do or die;
We could find ourselves climbing the wall.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“CALL” A-RHYME DIVISION)

Diane Groothuis:

Cinderella received a nice call
Inviting her out to a Ball,
But found it alarming
On seeing Prince Charming
In pants with no ball-room at all.

Sue Dulley:

Black bears sometimes pay me a call
In spring and in summer and fall.
So I wonder if they
Might be willing to pay
If this winter I build a great wall.

Brian Allgar:

The young hooker who answered his call
Said “Well, Donald, I’m willin’ to ball,
But you claim that your peter
Is more than a metre,
So why can’t I find it at all?”

Wendy Playter:

A muscular lass from St. Paul
Enlisted to answer the call.
She said, “Though this rifle
Is no little trifle,
My guns are the biggest of all!”

Tim James:

When she cries, men fall into her thrall;
It’s a powerful, strange siren call.
So why’s her heart breaking?
It isn’t. She’s faking.
It’s all just a masquerade bawl.

HONORABLE MENTION (“CALL” B-RHYME DIVISION)

Suzanne Heymann:

Mother Nature, who knocks at my door
Knows the strength of my bladder is poor;
If I don’t rise at all
To go answer her call,
She will soil my pants to the core!

HONORABLE MENTIONS (ANXIETY LIMERICK DIVISION)

Tim James: (Be sure to read Tim’s asterisked comment right below his limerick.)

His anxiety led him astray,
And he bungled his very first lay.*
He pumped hard and too fast,
So he just couldn’t last
While conducting the choir that way.

* Tim James explains: “A lay is a ballad or narrative poem set to music. What did you think I meant?”

Jeanine Silverio:

I’m so shy and with women I worry,
I can’t speak and my sight becomes blurry.
But I met a coquette.
(She is just like a pet!)
We can bark, howl and mate. (She’s a Furry!)

HONORABLE MENTIONS (THANKSGIVING LIMERICK DIVISION)

Dave Johnson:

This Thanksgiving, we might sit and chat;
Or maybe we’ll go to the mat.
It’s something we dread;
If old Uncle Fred
Shows up with that God-awful hat.

Jeanine Jamero Silverio

On Thanksgiving, I vow to be grateful,
For my husband, our boys and this plateful.
I pray that they thrive,
Love and hope kept alive,
In a world that’s becoming more hateful.

Konrad Schwoerke:

At Thanksgiving, I’m cranberry boss.
I abominate canned berry dross.
Why is mine so damned dandy?
Fresh berries and brandy
Give new meaning to hitting the sauce.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CALL. UPDATED WITH NEW DEADLINE AND TWO NEW LIMERICK OPTIONS.

Saturday, October 29th, 2016

IMPORTANT UPDATE: THE NEW DEADLINE IS NOVEMBER 26. WINNERS LIST WILL BE POSTED ON NOVEMBER 27. YOU MAY ALSO WRITE THANKSGIVING-THEMED LIMERICKS AND/OR LIMERICKS WITH “CALL” AS THE B-RHYME, INSTEAD OF THE A-RHYME.

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CALL at the end of ANY LINE. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ANXIETY or THANKSGIVING using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present extra awards for the best ANXIETY and THANKSGIVING-related limericks.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 27, 2016 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 26, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A woman was having a ball
As she answered the Democrats’ call;
She was cleaning the clock
Of a fellow who’d mock
And impugn for no reason at all.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (264)

Saturday, October 29th, 2016

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

He poured her a very nice Cab,
But she didn’t drink any, or gab.
And the sex later flopped:
When he poked her, she popped.
It’s no fun when the gal is pre-fab.

Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER, who wins the Special FRUIT-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

“Would you care for an apple?” she cooed.
He didn’t. But not to be rude,
He took a small bite.
God forgave him? Not quite.
Our merciful Lord came unglued.

God raged, and his anger was vicious.
He said what they did was pernicious!
But Adam told Eve,
“Well, I guess we must leave,
But boy was that apple delicious!”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Brian Allgar, Steve Earp, Sue Dulley, Robert Schechter, Kirk Miller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Suzanne Heymann. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“CAB” RHYME DIVISION)

Will T. Laughlin:

Said the doctor to Barney McNabb,
“Your results have come back from the lab.
Your ataxia’s worse.”
Barney turned to the nurse:
“Did the doctor just call me a cab?”

Brian Allgar:

“I can’t go to the ball, I’m so drab!”
“Don’t worry, dear – Abracadab!”
With a soft, swishing sound
Cinderella was gowned,
And the pumpkin transformed to a cab.

Steve Earp:

Said a girl Trump attempted to grab,
“Get your hands off and call me a cab.”
On encircling her waist
With bravado misplaced,
He was floored by her brutal left jab.

Sue Dulley:

On too many a cold marble slab
In a med school anatomy lab
With a tag on its toes
Lies another of those
Who refused to go home in a cab.

Robert Schechter:

My mother says, “Don’t pick a scab.”
“If you’re drunk, do not drive. Call a cab.”
And she tells Donald Trump,
“When you see a nice rump,
Remember: just look, do not grab!”

Will T. Laughlin:

“I’m drunk,” muttered Rita to Mab,
“You should probably get me a cab.”
Mab, pouring more wine,
Said, “A Cab would be fine,
But this Chardonnay, honey, is fab!”

HONORABLE MENTIONS (FRUIT LIMERICK DIVISION)

Kirk Miller:

I’ll make money. How hard could it be
To grow fruit upon many a tree?
So an orchard I bought,
But the profits were naught.
’Twas a fruitless endeavor for me.

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

My body is shaped like a pear.
At other girls’ chests guys would stare.
But I watched their boobs drop,
While mine stayed on top.
Sometimes life does end up being fair.

Tim James:

Out in public the guy was a brute,
And his legions of fans followed suit.
Grabbing privates? That’s lewd.
Though I hate to waste food,
One response crossed my mind: throwing fruit.

Suzanne Heymann:

Cherimoya and Damson and Jambul
And the Salak may seem like a gamble.
There’s the Longan, the Nance–
Go ahead, take a chance.
But you’re wondering, why do I ramble?

The Satsuma will cleanse, not pollute,
And the Yuzu, which smells nice to boot.
All these, plus Rambutan
Don’t have any gluten,
For each of these words is a fruit!

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CAB at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Sunday, October 16th, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CAB at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FRUIT, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FRUIT-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on Oct 30, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 29, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A garrulous gadfly would gab,
Driving ev’ryone nuts as he’d blab.
People longed to be spared
The critiques that he aired,
En route to their flights in his cab.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (263)

Sunday, October 16th, 2016

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to STEVE EARP, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this timely limerick:

He says if you’re famous you’ll find
It’s easy to bump and to grind.
So you, Trump supporter,
Just think of your daughter,
And question with whom you’re aligned.

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Special Autumn-Themed Limerick Award for this clever limerick:

If you’re wondering what you should call
The season when Eve “had a ball,”
It used to be Autumn
Until the Lord caught ’em;
Since then, it’s been known as the Fall.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Dave Johnson, Kirk Miller, Tim James, Wendy Playter, Robert Schechter, Allan Eastman, Fred Bortz, and Suzanne Heymann. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“GRIND” RHYME DIVISION)

Dave Johnson:

She’s known to be wholesome and kind,
And possesses a wondrous behind.
While she doesn’t hold grudges,
To dancing club judges
She does have a big ass to grind.

Kirk Miller:

Christmas shopping can be quite a grind.
The best presents? I think you will find
If you want a big lift,
Meditation’s the gift
That’s the best. You get presence of mind.

Tim James:

No woman would give him a grind,
So his sex life was all in his mind.
He knew well his own touch,
Although maybe too much:
He’s grown hair on his palms and gone blind.

Wendy Playter:

The cornmeal I ruthlessly grind
Make tacos that taste more refined.
But although higher-class,
There’s just as much gas,
And music soon follows behind.

Robert Schechter:

As a Starbucks barista I find
It’s helpful to clear out my mind
With occasional breaks,
But that’s all that it takes
To ease me back into the grind.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (AUTUMN LIMERICK DIVISION)

Allan Eastman:

A nudist group once had the gall
To protest the oncoming Fall.
“We WON’T Wear No Pants!”
They swore in their chants.
(Bet they wished they’d at least brought a shawl.)

Robert Schechter:

When autumn arrives, trees turn bare
And I’m filled with my yearly despair
That winter will come
And put frost on my bum,
And I can’t stand a cold derriere!

Fred Bortz, who celebrates the Autumn holiday known as Election Day:

From Tuesday the eighth of November
We’ll celebrate on through December
That women saw through
What that grabber would do,
And their votes soon deflated his member.

Dave Johnson:

The colorful look of the trees;
A slight little chill in the breeze.
Yes, Autumn’s sublime,
In advance of the time
When ice brings us all to our knees.

Tim James:

In late autumn, I never forego
A Thanksgiving Day feast. This year, though,
I’ll give thanks, say “Amen”
Two full weeks before then
When I see Donald Trump gobbling crow.

Suzanne Heymann:

It’s autumn, the midst of October,
When the wind blows each tree to disrobe her.
The summer did end,
And the cold’s ’round the bend,
So I don’t recommend being sober.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GRIND at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, October 1st, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GRIND at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to AUTUMN, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best AUTUMN-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on October 16, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 15, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A gal who was always behind
In her chores, said her spouse did not mind:
“My gifts in the sack
Make up for this lack.
I excel at a far diff’rent grind.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!