Posts Tagged ‘Food Humor’

Not Celebrating Asparagus (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 24th, 2022

It’s “Asparagus Day.” I’m no fan,
Though of course I’m not pushing a ban.
Why’s “asparagus” tossed
Mid-line, where it’s lost?
I could NOT make it rhyme right or scan.

A Recipe For Trouble (Limerick)

Saturday, May 21st, 2022

An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.

Loathing Latkes (Limerick)

Monday, May 2nd, 2022

Someone dared me to write a latke limerick. (No need to check your calendars. Hanukkah’s still in December.)

A latke debate has emerged:
“Eat latkes with sugar,” Mark urged.
“Using sugar sounds weird,”
Sev’ral said. Others cheered.
As for me, latkes ought to be purged.

Dishy Verse (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 19th, 2022

Well aware that his rich aunt would savor
Chole Masala — her favorite flavor,
Greedy Greg bought her lunch
At an Indian brunch.
His goal was (of course) curry favor.

Snack Food Grievance (Limerick)

Thursday, April 7th, 2022

A young gal grabbed her daughter to scold ’er:
“You should know better, now that you’re older.
Throwing snack food is rude,
Also wasteful and crude,”
Said the mom with a chip on her shoulder.

A Healthy Disagreement (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 5th, 2022

Her boyfriend insists that she’s “jerky”
For falling for health warnings “murky.”
He has coaxed and opined,
But he can’t change her mind:
She’s swearing off poultry “cold turkey.”

Conductor Misconduct (Limerick)

Monday, March 28th, 2022

A crazy conductor named Dick
Had a fondness for “food on a stick.”
The guy was far gone;
Used his skewer-baton
To throw food at the winds with a flick.

*****

Happy “Something On A Stick Day.” (March 28)

Croissants Caught In The Crosshairs (Limerick)

Sunday, January 30th, 2022

The croissant’s a beloved dessert:
“That crescent’s the best!” some assert.
But others say “no”
To “wasting” their dough
On “stuff that’s less healthy than dirt.”

“National Croissant Day” is celebrated each year on January 30.

Happy “Pie Day!” (Limerick)

Sunday, January 23rd, 2022

Today you may celebrate pie;
It’s “National Pie Day.” That’s why.
But pies never tempt me,
So kindly exempt me.
Choc’late layer cake? THAT I would buy.

National Pie Day is celebrated on January 23.

Fruitcake Haiku

Monday, December 27th, 2021

Today’s holiday
is National Fruitcake Day —
the cake, NOT the nuts.

(December 27 is National Fruitcake Day.)

Another Bagel Tale (Limerick)

Monday, December 13th, 2021

I wasn’t planning to write a second limerick about the cream cheese shortage, but here goes:

Buy a cream cheese-topped bagel? I’m able.
One is sitting right here on my table.
Yes, it took some inveigling
And lots of finagling…
This tale (I’ll confess) is a fable.

(Here’s my first cream cheese shortage limerick.)

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SPACE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 25, 2021)

Saturday, December 11th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SPACE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FISH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FISH-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 26, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 25, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SPACE-rhyme limerick:

My best friends love a catering space,
And they book it whenever they face
An important affair.
But not me, cuz I swear
That it sucks. I’m fed up with the place.

And here’s my FISH-themed limerick:

Female twins host a podcast that’s odd:
Ev’ry week they talk “veggies and scrod.”
And each meal that they eat
Features fish. Never meat!
They are just like two peas in a pod.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Pastry Day Haiku

Thursday, December 9th, 2021

I almost forgot
that today is “Pastry Day.”
That sure takes the cake!

****

December 9 is “National Pastry Day.”

For the record, sticklers would consider my pastry haiku a senryu.

Bagel Shop Woes (Limerick)

Saturday, December 4th, 2021

Oy! Cream cheese is the latest NYC supply chain casualty! What’s a bagel shop to do?

A shortage of cream cheese? That’s bad!
Naked bagels are terribly sad!
You’ll use butter instead?
Are you nuts? Lost your head?
Cream cheese schmears are essential, you cad!

What’s There To Love About “Chocolates Day?”

Monday, November 29th, 2021

In my latest limerick, I condemn yet another holiday:

It is “Chocolates Day.” I decry it!
Only ONE day a year? I don’t buy it!
So let’s sweeten the deal:
“Choc’lates Month” would, I feel,
Surely spice up each meal. Kindly try it.

The Shiftless Chef (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 9th, 2021

The restaurateur was irate
Cuz his chef was, as usual, late.
“You must clean up your act,
Or expect to be sacked.
It’s time you step up to the plate!”

Egg Myths (Limerick)

Friday, October 8th, 2021

“World Egg Day” has given me an excuse to write this limerick rant:

“Do NOT eat the yolks of your eggs!”
“Just the egg whites,” they said – (the egg-dregs.)
Now such counsel’s passé
Re cholesterol. Yay!
All those egg lies no longer have legs.

A Meaty Limerick

Sunday, September 5th, 2021

It appears that my project’s dead meat.
But no worries; it’s not a defeat.
I’ll continue to thrive
Because beef that’s alive
Is something that folks rarely eat.

An Idiom To Chew On (Limerick)

Saturday, August 28th, 2021

A French restaurant, once upper crust,
Got a rotten review and went bust:
“Their food can’t be chewed,”
Wrote the prominent dude.
Two weeks later, the place bit the dust.

Dear Chef (Limerick)

Thursday, August 19th, 2021

I’ve written my “Dear Chef” limerick to celebrate “National Hot And Spicy Food Day.” (August 19)

I like food that is spicy and hot.
Serve it bland? It’s returned on the spot.
Don’t assume you know best;
Second-guessing a guest
Means you’ve failed at your quest by a lot.