Posts Tagged ‘Food Humor’

Limerick Ode To Pie Day

Monday, January 23rd, 2023

Dear pie-loving people, rejoice!
It’s “Pie Day,” a day to give voice
To your fondness for pie
And to tell us all why
You actu’lly eat it by choice.

(National Pie Day is celebrated on January 23.)

Fridge Madness (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 15th, 2022

I had some internal rhyme fun with this limerick. (Happy “National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day!”)

When a woman attempted to cram
Her fridge with an over-sized ham,
Plus some lamb, SPAM, and yams,
Sev’ral jam jars and clams,
The door jammed on her very first slam.

Donut Daze (Limerick)

Saturday, November 5th, 2022

A fresh donut was found in the grass,
Not yet fettered by insects en masse.
Who’d abandon a tasty
Sweet treat? Seems a hasty
Retreat must have caused this to pass.

National Donut Day a/k/a National Doughnut Day falls on two days a year: November 5 and the first Friday of June.

Celebrating Pasta (Limerick)

Monday, October 17th, 2022

“I’ve a hunch you had pasta for brunch.
There are stains on your clothing — a bunch.
And they’ll never come out;
Of that fact there’s no doubt.
You should learn not to leak when you lunch.”

*****

Happy National Pasta Day! (October 17)

Persnickety Patron (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 5th, 2022

The oatmeal you served me was stale!
And my dinner? How dare you serve kale!
The meals here don’t thrill me.
You trying to kill me?
Better not, or I’ll see you in jail!

*****

(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)

Half-Baked Limerick

Friday, September 30th, 2022

A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”

(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)

Eat A Banana? Nah! (Limerick)

Saturday, September 10th, 2022

It’s “Banana Day,” giving me a great excuse to bitch about bananas. (It’s lucky that Mark and I like them at different stages of ripeness. Otherwise, they’d all end up tossed into the garbage.)

“You should eat that banana today,”
Says Mark. “Ugh, it’s TOO ripe,” I say.
“It peaked overnight.
Now it’s yours. Have a bite!
It’s perfect for you; old and gray.”

Hold The Bacon! (Limerick)

Saturday, September 3rd, 2022

An Orthodox woman was shakin’;
She’d been saved by a stranger from breakin’
Sev’ral bones in a fall.
The stranger (quite tall)
Said “No handshake? I just saved your bacon.”

******
“International Bacon Day” is celebrated on the first Saturday in September each year.

The Confused Mom-To-Be (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 24th, 2022

A mother-to-be gave a shiver.
Her whole body was soon all-aquiver.
She sobbed: “As predicted,
My diet’s restricted.
Doc told me it’s time to de-liver.”

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CHIP at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 17, 2022)

Saturday, August 20th, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CHIP at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELAXATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELAXATION-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: DEFECT, SMART, VOICE, SHAME, TASTE.

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on September 18, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 17, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my CHIP-rhyme limerick:

A fellow who thought he was hip
And who bragged he’d invented a chip,
Would attempt to act cool,
But look like a fool;
Telltale chip-crumbs bespeckled his lip.

Here’s my RELAXATION-themed limerick:

A man was attempting to chill,
But his debt worries made him feel ill.
And all of his tries
To relax were unwise
Cuz they further inflated his bill.

And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR limerick:

With podcasts I’m highly selective;
Something witty and smart’s my objective.
Plus I must clear my choice
With my ears. If the voice
Is high-pitched, it’s, alas, deemed “defective.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Not Celebrating Asparagus (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 24th, 2022

It’s “Asparagus Day.” I’m no fan,
Though of course I’m not pushing a ban.
Why’s “asparagus” tossed
Mid-line, where it’s lost?
I could NOT make it rhyme right or scan.

A Recipe For Trouble (Limerick)

Saturday, May 21st, 2022

An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.

Loathing Latkes (Limerick)

Monday, May 2nd, 2022

Someone dared me to write a latke limerick. (No need to check your calendars. Hanukkah’s still in December.)

A latke debate has emerged:
“Eat latkes with sugar,” Mark urged.
“Using sugar sounds weird,”
Sev’ral said. Others cheered.
As for me, latkes ought to be purged.

Dishy Verse (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 19th, 2022

Well aware that his rich aunt would savor
Chole Masala — her favorite flavor,
Greedy Greg bought her lunch
At an Indian brunch.
His goal was (of course) curry favor.

Snack Food Grievance (Limerick)

Thursday, April 7th, 2022

A young gal grabbed her daughter to scold ’er:
“You should know better, now that you’re older.
Throwing snack food is rude,
Also wasteful and crude,”
Said the mom with a chip on her shoulder.

A Healthy Disagreement (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 5th, 2022

Her boyfriend insists that she’s “jerky”
For falling for health warnings “murky.”
He has coaxed and opined,
But he can’t change her mind:
She’s swearing off poultry “cold turkey.”

Conductor Misconduct (Limerick)

Monday, March 28th, 2022

A crazy conductor named Dick
Had a fondness for “food on a stick.”
The guy was far gone;
Used his skewer-baton
To throw food at the winds with a flick.

*****

Happy “Something On A Stick Day.” (March 28)

Croissants Caught In The Crosshairs (Limerick)

Sunday, January 30th, 2022

The croissant’s a beloved dessert:
“That crescent’s the best!” some assert.
But others say “no”
To “wasting” their dough
On “stuff that’s less healthy than dirt.”

“National Croissant Day” is celebrated each year on January 30.

Happy “Pie Day!” (Limerick)

Sunday, January 23rd, 2022

Today you may celebrate pie;
It’s “National Pie Day.” That’s why.
But pies never tempt me,
So kindly exempt me.
Choc’late layer cake? THAT I would buy.

National Pie Day is celebrated on January 23.

Fruitcake Haiku

Monday, December 27th, 2021

Today’s holiday
is National Fruitcake Day —
the cake, NOT the nuts.

(December 27 is National Fruitcake Day.)