Posts Tagged ‘July Holidays’
Wednesday, July 31st, 2019
Since July 31st is “Uncommon Musical Instrument Awareness Day,” here’s a pair of limericks about archaic instruments:
A foolish, though musical fellow
Played bassoon, oboe, sax — even cello.
But auditions were few.
Competition? A slew!
So he learned the passé bassanello.
*****
A harpist was playing her chrotta
At a sporting event — a regatta.
She performed rather well,
But the gig went to hell
When a harpy (non-fan) threw frittata.
Tags: July Holidays, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limericks, Musical Instruments, Musical Instruments Humor, Odd Holidays, Uncommon Musical Instrument Awareness Day
Posted in Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Two Limericks For Uncommon Musical Instrument Awareness Day
Thursday, July 25th, 2019
Happy “National Culinarians Day!” (July 25) Here’s a limerick to celebrate:
A chef who was sly and ambitious
Ensured that each dish was delicious
By theft from the best.
But he fin’ly confessed…
To disclaim a review that was vicious.
Tags: Chef Humor, Chefs, Cooking Humor, Culinarians Day, Culinary Humor, Food Holidays, July Holidays, National Culinarians' Day, Odd Holidays, Stealing Humor, Theft
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Ambitious Limerick
Saturday, July 16th, 2016
Happy World Snake Day! (July 16)
A man was beginning to grasp
The danger of bites from an asp.
A thought bubble snaked
Through his brainwaves half-baked:
“Pet asp? I’m an ass!” — his last gasp!
Tags: Animal Verse, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Reptiles, Snake Limericks, Snakes
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, July 5th, 2016
Today’s the bikini’s 70th birthday. So happy World Bikini Day!
I’ve never dared don a bikini;
They’re too skimpily small — teeny-weenie.
Call me shy if you must,
But I simply don’t lust
After beachwear that’s dwarfed by a beanie.
Tags: Beachwear, Bikini Day, Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Swimming Humor
Posted in Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on Happy Birthday, Bikini (Limerick)
Sunday, July 3rd, 2016
Happy “Eat Beans Day!”
A man was incensed because beans
Caused an ailment he’d had since his teens;
His digestion was marred
To the point he was barred
From small rooms, though allowed in latrines.
Tags: Bathroom Humor, Beans Limerick, Digestion Humor, Eat Beans Day, Food Humor, Food Verse, July Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Spilling The Beans About “Eat Beans Day” (Limerick)
Friday, July 1st, 2016
It’s Canada Day, so congrats.
You Canucks surely think that we’re bats.
And I have to concede
That you’re right. If I need
To flee Trump, do you have any flats?
Tags: Canada, Canada Day, Donald Trump, Holiday Humor, July Holidays
Posted in Canada, Donald Trump, Holiday Humor, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2015
Happy National Mutt Day! (It’s celebrated twice a year, on December 2nd and July 31.)
Today we must cherish the mutt.
Mongrels matter, no if, and, or but.
Purebred dogs may be chic,
But each mixed breed’s unique.
It’s clear cut. Walk yours proudly and strut.
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, December Holidays, Dog Humor, Dog Verse, July Holidays, Mutt Day, Mutts Humor, National Mutt Day, Odd Holidays
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Monday, July 27th, 2015
Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A spy was perturbed by the drone
From some bagpipes, a mind-numbing tone.
Though he wanted to pound
The source of that sound,
He held back, lest his cover be blown.
Tags: Bagpipe Appreciation Day, Bagpipe Humor, July Holidays, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays
Posted in Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Monday, July 27th, 2015
Limerick Ode To National Scotch Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hate to complain or to carp.
About liquor it’s rare that I harp.
But I’d scotch any notion
Of drinking a potion
Whose wet-carpet smell is so sharp.
Tags: Alcohol Verse, Beverages, Drinking Limerick, July Holidays, Liquor Humor, Odd Holidays, Scotch Humor, Whiskey
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode to National Scotch Day (July 27)
Tuesday, July 21st, 2015
Yesterday, July 20, was National Lollipop Day. So here’s my belated limerick:
Lollipop Ode (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m not a big lollipop fan;
They suck, much like sugary bran,
Though a Tootsie Roll Pop
Can be tempting to swap
For veggies or glop from a can.
Tags: Candy Humor, July Holidays, Lollipop Humor, National Lollipop Day, Odd Holidays, Sucker Humor, Tootsie Roll Pops
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Lollipop Ode (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 14th, 2015
Limerick Ode To Pandemonium Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Pandemonium Day has arrived,
A fete that sounds rather contrived,
Because chaos surrounds us,
Abounds and confounds us.
So don’t count on it being high-fived.
Tags: Chaos Humor, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Pandemonium Day
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Pandemonium Day
Thursday, July 31st, 2014
Limerick Ode To “National Orgasm Day” (July 31)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “National Orgasm Day.”
Just one day? I’m dismayed and say “Nay!”
To limit “Big Os”
Surely cries out for “NOs.”
I propose: Make it daily! Okay?
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Big O Humor, July Holidays, National Orgasm Day, Odd Holidays, Orgasm Humor, Sex Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 8 Comments »
Saturday, July 26th, 2014
Ordinarily, I’d celebrate National Dance Day today by dancing. But a mysterious foot injury’s forcing me to sublimate by writing a limerick:
Limerick Ode To National Dance Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Dance Day, so dance if you can.
Do the can-can or whirl with a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.
Alternative Version For Can-Can Day (Oct. 21):
It’s Can-Can Day. Dance if you can.
Kick your legs. Whirl those skirts. Twirl a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.
Tags: Ballroom Dance, Can-Can Day, Dancing Humor, July Holidays, National Can-Can Day, National Dance Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Dance Humor, Exercise Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Thursday, July 24th, 2014
Happy Tell An Old Joke Day!” (July 24)
Limerick Ode To “Tell An Old Joke Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some men seem compelled to keep telling
Ancient jokes. There is simply no quelling
Their need to assail us,
Assault and regale us
With stale, endless tales uncompelling.
Tags: Bores, Joke Limerick, Jokes, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Tell An Old Joke Day
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Jokes & One-Liners, Limericks, Odd Holdays | 2 Comments »
Monday, July 14th, 2014
Limerick Ode To “Nude Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal likes to publicly doff
All her clothing, then pose to show off.
“It’s a strip search time-saver
I did you a favor,”
When jailed, she’ll transparently scoff.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, International Nude Day, July Holidays, Law Humor, Legal Limerick, Naked Limerick, National Nude Day, Nude Day, Nude Humor, Odd Holidays, World Nude Day
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Fashion Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy “Nude Day!” (July 14)
Saturday, July 12th, 2014
Happy National French Fries Day (July 13.)
Fried Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am not a big fan of French fries.
I don’t find them a sight for sore eyes.
(A sore stomach, perchance.)
Belgium fries, though, entrance.
But neither is wise for one’s thighs.
Tags: Belgium Fries, Calorie Limericks, Food Humor, Food Limerick, French Fries Day, French Fry Day, Health Limericks, July Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, July 8th, 2014
“No Bra Day” Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Today is “No Bra Day.” Oh my!
But just ONE braless day? Won’t comply
With the custom of binding
Our breasts. I’m not minding
Those rules. I declare, “Let them fly!”
UPDATE: In addition to being celebrated on July 9th, No Bra Day is also celebrated on October 13.
(For more bra humor, here’s my Wonderbra Song Parody.)
Tags: Boobs, Bra Humor, Brassieres, Breasts Humor, Clothing Humor, Clothing Poem, Fashion Verse, July Holidays, National No Bra Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance, Undergarments Humor, Underwear Humor, Women's Fashion
Posted in Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on “No Bra Day” Ode
Saturday, July 5th, 2014
Today (July 5th) is National Workaholics Day.
Ode To Workaholics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Workaholics endure a disease,
Which will cause neither cough nor a sneeze.
But they’re gripped by a fever;
They’re missing the lever
That permits them occasional ease.
Tags: Career Humor, July Holidays, National Workaholics Day, Odd Holidays, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Poetry
Posted in Limericks, Odd Holidays, Workplace & Career Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, July 4th, 2014
Limerick Ode To A Stormy Independence Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The East Coast, alas, is awash
With Hurricane Arthurly slosh,
Bringing wind gusts and rain
And flooding — the bane
Of saluting the 4th with panache.
Tags: Holiday Humor, Hurricanes, Independence Day, July 4th, July Holidays, Patriotic Humor, Rain Limerick, Storm, Weather Humor
Posted in Holiday Humor, Limericks, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To A Stormy Independence Day