Happy World Snake Day! (July 16)
A man was beginning to grasp
The danger of bites from an asp.
A thought bubble snaked
Through his brainwaves half-baked:
“Pet asp? I’m an ass!” — his last gasp!
Posts Tagged ‘July Holidays’
World Snake Day Limerick (July 16)
Saturday, July 16th, 2016Happy Birthday, Bikini (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 5th, 2016Today’s the bikini’s 70th birthday. So happy World Bikini Day!
I’ve never dared don a bikini;
They’re too skimpily small — teeny-weenie.
Call me shy if you must,
But I simply don’t lust
After beachwear that’s dwarfed by a beanie.
Spilling The Beans About “Eat Beans Day” (Limerick)
Sunday, July 3rd, 2016Happy “Eat Beans Day!”
A man was incensed because beans
Caused an ailment he’d had since his teens;
His digestion was marred
To the point he was barred
From small rooms, though allowed in latrines.
Limerick Ode To Canada Day
Friday, July 1st, 2016It’s Canada Day, so congrats.
You Canucks surely think that we’re bats.
And I have to concede
That you’re right. If I need
To flee Trump, do you have any flats?
Limerick For National Mutt Day
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2015Happy National Mutt Day! (It’s celebrated twice a year, on December 2nd and July 31.)
Today we must cherish the mutt.
Mongrels matter, no if, and, or but.
Purebred dogs may be chic,
But each mixed breed’s unique.
It’s clear cut. Walk yours proudly and strut.
Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day (July 27)
Monday, July 27th, 2015Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A spy was perturbed by the drone
From some bagpipes, a mind-numbing tone.
Though he wanted to pound
The source of that sound,
He held back, lest his cover be blown.
Limerick Ode to National Scotch Day (July 27)
Monday, July 27th, 2015Limerick Ode To National Scotch Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hate to complain or to carp.
About liquor it’s rare that I harp.
But I’d scotch any notion
Of drinking a potion
Whose wet-carpet smell is so sharp.
Lollipop Ode (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 21st, 2015Yesterday, July 20, was National Lollipop Day. So here’s my belated limerick:
Lollipop Ode (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m not a big lollipop fan;
They suck, much like sugary bran,
Though a Tootsie Roll Pop
Can be tempting to swap
For veggies or glop from a can.
Limerick Ode To Pandemonium Day
Tuesday, July 14th, 2015Limerick Ode To Pandemonium Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Pandemonium Day has arrived,
A fete that sounds rather contrived,
Because chaos surrounds us,
Abounds and confounds us.
So don’t count on it being high-fived.
Limerick Ode To “National Orgasm Day”
Thursday, July 31st, 2014Limerick Ode To “National Orgasm Day” (July 31)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “National Orgasm Day.”
Just one day? I’m dismayed and say “Nay!”
To limit “Big Os”
Surely cries out for “NOs.”
I propose: Make it daily! Okay?
Limerick Ode To National Dance Day and National Can-Can Day
Saturday, July 26th, 2014Ordinarily, I’d celebrate National Dance Day today by dancing. But a mysterious foot injury’s forcing me to sublimate by writing a limerick:
Limerick Ode To National Dance Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Dance Day, so dance if you can.
Do the can-can or whirl with a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.
Alternative Version For Can-Can Day (Oct. 21):
It’s Can-Can Day. Dance if you can.
Kick your legs. Whirl those skirts. Twirl a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.
Limerick Ode To “Tell An Old Joke Day”
Thursday, July 24th, 2014Happy Tell An Old Joke Day!” (July 24)
Limerick Ode To “Tell An Old Joke Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some men seem compelled to keep telling
Ancient jokes. There is simply no quelling
Their need to assail us,
Assault and regale us
With stale, endless tales uncompelling.
Happy “Nude Day!” (July 14)
Monday, July 14th, 2014Limerick Ode To “Nude Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal likes to publicly doff
All her clothing, then pose to show off.
“It’s a strip search time-saver
I did you a favor,”
When jailed, she’ll transparently scoff.
Fried Limerick
Saturday, July 12th, 2014Happy National French Fries Day (July 13.)
Fried Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am not a big fan of French fries.
I don’t find them a sight for sore eyes.
(A sore stomach, perchance.)
Belgium fries, though, entrance.
But neither is wise for one’s thighs.
“No Bra Day” Ode
Tuesday, July 8th, 2014“No Bra Day” Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Today is “No Bra Day.” Oh my!
But just ONE braless day? Won’t comply
With the custom of binding
Our breasts. I’m not minding
Those rules. I declare, “Let them fly!”
UPDATE: In addition to being celebrated on July 9th, No Bra Day is also celebrated on October 13.
(For more bra humor, here’s my Wonderbra Song Parody.)
Charlotte’s Ruse
Monday, July 7th, 2014Charlotte’s Ruse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Ms. Charlotte was trying to fix
Choc’late brownies by using a mix.
Then she buried the box
Under undies and sox,
And declared them homemade. (They were bricks.)
Happy World Chocolate Day! (July 7)
Ode To Workaholics
Saturday, July 5th, 2014Today (July 5th) is National Workaholics Day.
Ode To Workaholics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Workaholics endure a disease,
Which will cause neither cough nor a sneeze.
But they’re gripped by a fever;
They’re missing the lever
That permits them occasional ease.
Limerick Ode To A Stormy Independence Day
Friday, July 4th, 2014Limerick Ode To A Stormy Independence Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The East Coast, alas, is awash
With Hurricane Arthurly slosh,
Bringing wind gusts and rain
And flooding — the bane
Of saluting the 4th with panache.
Limerick Ode To AC
Thursday, July 3rd, 2014Today is the first day of Air Conditioning Appreciation days. (July 3 to August 15)
Limerick Ode To AC
By Madeleine Begun Kane
How I long to be sweaty-skin-free.
“Make it cool!” is my summertime plea.
Humidity, heat
Make me drip with defeat.
Yes indeed, I’m a fan of AC.
Strained Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Saturday, April 12th, 2014NOTE: THIS IS A TWO-WEEK LIMERICK-OFF. LIMERICK SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS SATURDAY, APRIL 26, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
Please note that due to the holidays, this Limerick-Off will run for two weeks, instead of one. So I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner two weeks from today, on April 27, 2014, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full two weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 26, 2014 at 11 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
And since you’ll have two weeks, I’m offering you a topical alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to any April holiday, using any first line. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best holiday-related limerick.
And now, getting back to your regular Limerick-Off challenge, I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman whose budget was strained…*
or
A singer whose voice sounded strained…*
or
A fellow had struggled and strained…*
or
A woman whose mood was restrained…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Strained Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chef who had struggled and strained
To serve noteworthy food appeared drained:
“I’m losing my shirt,”
He said, scarfing dessert.
Seems his rep (and his shirt) had been stained.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: July 25th is National Culinarians’ Day.
