Posts Tagged ‘July Holidays’

Mutt Memories (Limerick)

Sunday, July 31st, 2022

When I starting drafting this limerick, I meant it to be a National Mutt Day verse. But it seems to have turned into something else:

I had many a mutt growing up.
My fav’rite behaved like a pup
Well into old age.
And my husband, who’s sage,
Takes his lead from that dog. Clever? Yup!

Chastened Chess Player (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 20th, 2022

When I learn a new word, I sometimes feel compelled to use it in a limerick:

At chess, he is far from adept;
He’s slow-moving, sloppy, inept.
Many call him a patzer;
An apt term at that, sir.
When he gave up the game, no one wept.

(Today, July 20th, is International Chess Day.)

NOT Celebrating World Emoji Day (Limerick)

Sunday, July 17th, 2022

I’ll admit it: Emojis confuse me.
If you post one, you’re likely to lose me,
For I stare at them blankly.
I tell you this frankly:
Nix pics! Only words can amuse me.

(July 17th is World Emoji Day.)

Ill-Bred Limerick

Thursday, August 26th, 2021

Happy “National Dog Day.” (August 26)

My favorite breed is the “mutt.”
Yes, I know you’re about to say “But,
That isn’t a breed.”
I’m aware, but I need
To annoy nutty dog snobs who strut.

(National Mutt Day is celebrated on two days: July 31 and December 2.)

Limerick Ode To Tequila

Saturday, July 24th, 2021

Happy “National Tequila Day!” (July 24)

Tequila Day’s here, so let loose!
Drink it straight; don’t dilute it with juice.
You’d rather drink beer?
Bourbon? Gin? I won’t sneer.
More tequila for MOI! So a truce!

Limerick Ode To Dork Day

Thursday, July 15th, 2021

Happy “National Dork Day.” (July 15)

In my youth, I was probably viewed
As a dork; I was dweebness-imbued
And nerdiness prone.
And those glasses — (Loud moan!)
But it’s “Dork Day.” Don’t groan. Let’s get stewed!

Happy “Treat Your Webmaster or Webmistress Day?” (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 6th, 2021

Happy “Treat Your Webmaster or Webmistress Day.” (July 6)

“Treat Your Webmaster/Webmistress Day!”
How exciting! Hip Hip and Hooray!
But wait! I’ve a plight
And can’t celebrate right:
Who’s my webmaster? I am! Oy Vey!

Two Limericks For Uncommon Musical Instrument Awareness Day

Wednesday, July 31st, 2019

Since July 31st is “Uncommon Musical Instrument Awareness Day,” here’s a pair of limericks about archaic instruments:

A foolish, though musical fellow
Played bassoon, oboe, sax — even cello.
But auditions were few.
Competition? A slew!
So he learned the passé bassanello.

*****

A harpist was playing her chrotta
At a sporting event — a regatta.
She performed rather well,
But the gig went to hell
When a harpy (non-fan) threw frittata.

Ambitious Limerick

Thursday, July 25th, 2019

Happy “National Culinarians Day!” (July 25) Here’s a limerick to celebrate:

A chef who was sly and ambitious
Ensured that each dish was delicious
By theft from the best.
But he fin’ly confessed…
To disclaim a review that was vicious.

World Snake Day Limerick (July 16)

Saturday, July 16th, 2016

Happy World Snake Day! (July 16)

A man was beginning to grasp
The danger of bites from an asp.
A thought bubble snaked
Through his brainwaves half-baked:
“Pet asp? I’m an ass!” — his last gasp!

Happy Birthday, Bikini (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 5th, 2016

Today’s the bikini’s 70th birthday. So happy World Bikini Day!

I’ve never dared don a bikini;
They’re too skimpily small — teeny-weenie.
Call me shy if you must,
But I simply don’t lust
After beachwear that’s dwarfed by a beanie.

Spilling The Beans About “Eat Beans Day” (Limerick)

Sunday, July 3rd, 2016

Happy “Eat Beans Day!”

A man was incensed because beans
Caused an ailment he’d had since his teens;
His digestion was marred
To the point he was barred
From small rooms, though allowed in latrines.

Limerick Ode To Canada Day

Friday, July 1st, 2016

It’s Canada Day, so congrats.
You Canucks surely think that we’re bats.
And I have to concede
That you’re right. If I need
To flee Trump, do you have any flats?

Limerick For National Mutt Day

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2015

Happy National Mutt Day! (It’s celebrated twice a year, on December 2nd and July 31.)

Today we must cherish the mutt.
Mongrels matter, no if, and, or but.
Purebred dogs may be chic,
But each mixed breed’s unique.
It’s clear cut. Walk yours proudly and strut.

Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day (July 27)

Monday, July 27th, 2015

Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A spy was perturbed by the drone
From some bagpipes, a mind-numbing tone.
Though he wanted to pound
The source of that sound,
He held back, lest his cover be blown.

*****
UPDATE: November 19 is “National Blow Bagpipes Day.”

Limerick Ode to National Scotch Day (July 27)

Monday, July 27th, 2015

Limerick Ode To National Scotch Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I hate to complain or to carp.
About liquor it’s rare that I harp.
But I’d scotch any notion
Of drinking a potion
Whose wet-carpet smell is so sharp.

Lollipop Ode (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 21st, 2015

Yesterday, July 20, was National Lollipop Day. So here’s my belated limerick:

Lollipop Ode (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m not a big lollipop fan;
They suck, much like sugary bran,
Though a Tootsie Roll Pop
Can be tempting to swap
For veggies or glop from a can.

Limerick Ode To Pandemonium Day

Tuesday, July 14th, 2015

Limerick Ode To Pandemonium Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Pandemonium Day has arrived,
A fete that sounds rather contrived,
Because chaos surrounds us,
Abounds and confounds us.
So don’t count on it being high-fived.

Limerick Ode To “National Orgasm Day”

Thursday, July 31st, 2014

Limerick Ode To “National Orgasm Day” (July 31)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s “National Orgasm Day.”
Just one day? I’m dismayed and say “Nay!”
To limit “Big Os”
Surely cries out for “NOs.”
I propose: Make it daily! Okay?

Limerick Ode To National Dance Day and National Can-Can Day

Saturday, July 26th, 2014

Ordinarily, I’d celebrate National Dance Day today by dancing. But a mysterious foot injury’s forcing me to sublimate by writing a limerick:

Limerick Ode To National Dance Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s Dance Day, so dance if you can.
Do the can-can or whirl with a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.

Alternative Version For Can-Can Day (Oct. 21):

It’s Can-Can Day. Dance if you can.
Kick your legs. Whirl those skirts. Twirl a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.