Posts Tagged ‘Marriage Limerick’

A Not-So-Romantic Limerick For “Propose Day”

Monday, February 8th, 2016

A fellow named Bill lost his will
To propose to a gal who was shrill;
While down on his knees
He’d started to sneeze,
And she said, “You are making me ill!”

Happy Propose Day! (February 8)

Happy “Spouses Day!” (Jan. 26)

Tuesday, January 26th, 2016

Since it’s “Spouses Day,” please get in gear.
You should lovingly cherish and cheer
Your dear husband or wife
And steer clear of spouse-strife.
Why we DON’T do this daily ain’t clear.

UPDATE: DEADLINE EXTENDED TO NOVEMBER 28. Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TEND or ATTEND or PRETEND at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, November 14th, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using TEND or ATTEND or PRETEND at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner early on November 29, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full two weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 28 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A horseman refused to attend
Any weddings, detesting the trend
Of his friends getting married
And ending up harried:
“It’s time for this nightmare to end!”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Bugged Plaintiff (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 17th, 2015

A Bugged Plaintiff (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Madame Blanche filed a claim with the court,
A complaint for intentional tort:
“As plainly depicted
Distress was inflicted–
My old spouse should by now be quite mort.”

Say “NO!” To “Yes, Dear”

Wednesday, April 30th, 2014

Say “NO!” To “Yes, Dear”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s something most husbands should fear:
Wives’ reactions on hearing, “Yes, dear.”
It’s a phrase to avoid
Cuz we’re not just annoyed,
But enraged. Guys could lose precious “gear.”

A Round Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, December 8th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow whose body was round…*

or

A woman was running around…*

or

A rumor was going around…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

A Round Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An expounder loved lounging around
By the pool, spewing thoughts unprofound.
“You’re a bore! Do a chore,”
Hounded spouse number four.
He thumbs-downed her. Unsound! He soon drowned.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Rap (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal in an elegant wrap…*

or

An innocent man took the rap…*

or

A fellow was trying to wrap (or rap)…*

or

A woman was eating a wrap…*

or

The director announced “That’s a wrap…”*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Wrap
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal in an elegant wrap
Was dating a wealthy old sap.
She bed and misled him,
While scheming to wed him,
And dissolve her large bank account gap.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Those Poor Italian Husbands (Limerick)

Monday, September 2nd, 2013

Those Poor Italian Husbands (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In Italy, men are bereft:
The economy’s lost all its heft.
They no longer can rent
Second places — they’re spent!
So most have no mistresses left.

My limerick was inspired by this Daily Beast article: The Economic Crisis Makes Infidelity Too Expensive, which quotes an Italian husband, who complained: “It really messed up my romantic life.” (The pitiful fellow had been forced to rent out his bachelor pad in Rome.)

Limerick Rant

Wednesday, August 28th, 2013

Limerick Rant
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A botanist, rather a ranter,
Looked down upon lighthearted banter.
Though he constantly “shared”
His views, which he blared,
When his wife tried to talk, he’d supplant ‘er.

Limerick Bar (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, July 7th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who worked at a bar…*

or

A woman was holding a bar…*

or

A woman decided to bar…*

or

A dancer who stretched at the barre…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Bar
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman decided to bar
Cigarette smoking folks from her car.
“This must be a joke,”
Said her husband. “I smoke,
So our marriage ain’t going too far.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Motherly Angst (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

Motherly Angst (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A mom at the end of her rope
Said “It’s hopeless! I simply can’t cope.
Both the food and the band
Appear to be canned.
The rest of my kids must elope!”

Happy Mother’s Day!

The Proposal (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Today, March 20th, is National Proposal Day. And so…

The Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was very concerned:
Would his marriage proposal be spurned?
He’d been turned down before:
Four gals slammed shut the door.
So no doorways for him — lesson learned.

Remorseful Limerick

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

Remorseful Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was feeling remorse
About taking an ill-advised course:
He’d married a gal
Who was also his pal,
Before he’d secured a divorce.

Bright Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, November 25th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who wasn’t too bright…*

or

A fellow who wasn’t too bright…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Bright Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who wasn’t too bright
Met a fellow who wasn’t quite “right.”
They wed, had a kid—
High IQ — off the grid.
Please don’t ask “Who’s the dad?”— Impolite!

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Limerick Spread (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, September 9th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman was planning a spread…*

or

A fellow was planning a spread…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

A Limerick Spread
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was planning a spread,
Meant to help push her husband ahead.
It would boost his connections.
(So said her projections.)
But it led him astray into bed.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Case Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, October 8th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman at work on a case…

or

A fellow at work on a case…

Here’s mine:

A Case Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman at work on a case
Was finding some facts hard to face.
She feared that her client
(A mild-mannered giant)
Killed his wife cuz he wanted more space.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Thrilling Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, July 24th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too. (You can even post it here on Google+ if you’d like to.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who loved a good thrill…

or

A woman who loved a good thrill…

Here’s mine:

Thrilling Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who loved a good thrill
Went skiing and took a bad spill.
His wife said “Enough!
I don’t care that you’re tough.
You’d better start writing your will.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Wedding Anniversary Limerick

Friday, June 3rd, 2011

Tomorrow, June 4th, is our 33rd wedding anniversary. So here’s an anniversary limerick for my wonderful husband, Mark Kane:

Wedding Anniversary Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s the fabulous 4th, so let’s cheer
Cuz the day we got married is here.
And to add to our mirth,
It’s the date of the birth
Of Aesop … though not the same year.

Spurned Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, May 1st, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus four Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal had to cancel her plan…

or

A man had to cancel his plan…

Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verser will be fine, of course.)

Spurned Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal had to cancel her plan
To marry a very cute man.
He spurned her advances,
Ignored all her glances —
‘Twas over before it began.

She was angry and wanted him dead —
Dreamt of murder while lying in bed.
Now at last he’s been killed
And those thoughts have been stilled,
For that fellow was all in her head.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

It’s Royally Over!

Friday, April 29th, 2011

I’ve gotten several emails and Facebook messages asking me why I haven’t written a limerick or haiku about the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Here’s your answer:

It’s Royally Over!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’ve no int’rest in all the ado
Over wedding fetes royal. So sue!
I don’t care if some Brit
Who’s a prince will commit
To a commoner. Boring! So shoo!