Archive for the ‘Social Media Humor’ Category

Dear Facebook Friend-Requester (Limerick)

Thursday, August 15th, 2024

I’m amazingly popular with “male” bot “surgeons.” (Also “generals.”) Hence this limerick:

My dear friend-request sender, I vet
All such queries. The answer is NYET!
Why my thundering NO?
Cuz I’d bet lots of dough
That your Doc-Surgeon bio’s all wet!

Happy “International Fact-Checking Day”

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2024

International Fact-Checking Day
Is today, which reminds me to say:
Always check what you read
On each media feed,
Cuz false info is rampant. Oy Vey!

Gullible Limerick

Saturday, October 21st, 2023

Many gullible people will swallow
False assertions by folks whom they follow.
So why do they buy
Bunk from people who lie?
I’m betting their noggins are hollow.

Prank Gone Wrong (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, July 11th, 2023

An illustrious author named Frank
Said “I’ll stop writing books” as a prank.
Many fans called him “Quitter,”
Strew hate-posts on Twitter
And Threads, wished him dead, said he stank.

“You flamers should all be ashamed!
I was joking,” Frank quickly proclaimed.
“But because of your bitching,
Right now I am switching
My genre. And YOU shall be blamed!”

Taking Refuge In Limericks

Tuesday, February 21st, 2023

“Two weeks at a refuge sounds sweet,”
Said a stressed-out young woman. “I’m beat!”
When she got there, a crone
Said “Hand over your phone!”
So the gal beat a hasty retreat.

The Skeptical Troll (Limerick)

Friday, January 13th, 2023

A skeptical troll who delights
In arguing, often starts fights
On both Facebook and Twitter.
Ignore all his litter.
He gets bitter when nobody bites.

*****
International Skeptics Day is celebrated each year on the first Friday The 13th of the Year.

Limerick Ode To Elon “I Love Free Speech” Musk

Friday, December 16th, 2022

Musk famously praises free speech.
Yet he’s guilty of breach after breach,
Like his journo suspensions
For negative mentions.
Time to practice, dear Musk, what you preach!

Haiku Duo re the Twitter Exodus

Friday, November 18th, 2022

Elon won’t miss me;
he doesn’t know I exist.
Yet mock Musk, I must.

*****

Twitter refugee
with one toe still a-tweeting.
I can’t look away.

Limerick Ode To Mastodon (or whatever I’m supposed to call it)

Friday, November 18th, 2022

I am just getting used to this place,
And it seems like a welcoming space.
Though I feel like a pup,
I am glad I signed up.
Can I ace it? I’d settle for grace.

Mad About Mastodon (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

Twitter appears to be on the verge of collapse. And the most suitable replacement is Mastodon, which I joined a week ago.

I’m still getting to know the neighborhood, but so far, so good. (Right now I’m still on Twitter and toggling between the two social media sites.) Here’s where to find me on Mastodon.

And now, the requisite limerick:

I am NOT quitting Twitter, just yet,
But as owners go, Musk is all wet:
He’s destroying the place!
Should we join (just in case)
A Mastodon server? You bet!

Limerick Ode To Elon Musk (2-Verse)

Monday, November 7th, 2022

Dear Elon, I’m very impressed!
As blunders go, yours are the best!
I’d assumed you were smart,
But you’ve mastered the art
Of destroying your pricey, new nest.

Primo content providers are pissed.
Key staff has been rashly dismissed.
Twitter ad-buyers flee,
While ignoring your plea.
Your mistakes are too many to list!

Wrongfully Accused! (Limerick)

Friday, August 5th, 2022

A couple of years ago, I started posting my limericks on Facebook in image form. To ensure that, if they were shared, my authorship was clear, I’d include a copyright notice and my site’s URL in NON-CLICKABLE form. And, until a couple of weeks ago, this has worked out fine.

What happened a couple of weeks ago? A Wordle-related group, where I’d post the very occasional Wordle-related limerick (which its members seemed to enjoy) suspended me. Apparently, having a NON-clickable URL in an image makes me a spammer. Hence this limerick:

I’m pissed off at a group! Its contention
Is I warrant a spam-rule suspension.
My offense? Each verse pic
Has a link you can’t click,
Whose purpose is lim-theft prevention.

NOT Celebrating World Emoji Day (Limerick)

Sunday, July 17th, 2022

I’ll admit it: Emojis confuse me.
If you post one, you’re likely to lose me,
For I stare at them blankly.
I tell you this frankly:
Nix pics! Only words can amuse me.

(July 17th is World Emoji Day.)

Facebook Gripes (Limerick)

Monday, March 7th, 2022

While on Facebook, folks often complain
About comments that drive them insane.
If you’re truly annoyed,
They’re a breeze to avoid:
“Unfollowing” blocks all that pain.

When I Rise, I Don’t Shine (Limerick)

Monday, November 1st, 2021

Ev’ry day when I rise, hubby greets me
With political news, which depletes me.
He’s eager to share it,
But I just can’t bear it,
Cuz pre-caffeine info defeats me.

Humor Disharmony (Limerick)

Friday, September 10th, 2021

NOTE: While the last line of this limerick is true, it’s NOT a plea for sympathy. My real purpose in writing it was to play with the idiom “fall flat.”

My wisecrack failed right off the bat.
Not one “like!” Not one “LOL!” That was that!
’Twas a musical jest,
But I guess, not my best.
I feel low when my humor falls flat.

Covid-19 Vaccine Adventures (2-Verse Limerick Plus Vaccine Scheduling Tips)

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2021

What follows is:

1: A two-verse limerick about my adventures (and difficulties) in booking Covid-19 vaccine appointments in New York City for hubby Mark and me. (And yes, we both easily qualify by age.)

2: A blow by blow description of how I finally managed to snag vaccine appointments in the doesn’t-deserve-to-be-called-a-system New York Covid-19 vaccine scheduling “system.”

(I hope that the information I provide below my 2-verse limerick proves helpful to those who are having similar vaccine-booking problems, both in and outside of New York.)

Fin’lly got my first shot. So did Mark,
After problems with booking them — stark!
New York’s issue-packed system
(too many to list ’em)
Is so bad, I have fantasies — dark.

So how did I schedule our shots
In a system so tied up in knots?
“Push notifications”
Resolved our frustrations;
We were saved by some fine Twitter bots.

If you’re having problems booking Covid-19 vaccine appointments, here’s how I did it in New York City. I hope it helps you too. (Even if you live in another state, some of my info just might be applicable to you.)

1. After trying all the obvious methods for booking vaccine appointments, and failing abysmally, I searched Google to find out if anybody had created a Covid-19 vaccine appointment locator bot in New York. I used search phrases such as covid-19 vaccine New York bot and Covid-19 vaccine New York tracker bot.

This led me to these two Twitter accounts: @turbovax and @nycshotslots. (If you are having trouble getting a vaccination appointment outside of New York, try a similar search for your own state. And if you’re lucky, a Good Samaritan in your city or state created a comparable public bot. For example, this bot was designed for New Jersey residents, and this one was set up for Massachusetts residents.)

2. I went to Twitter, searched for both accounts, and clicked on “follow.” (I was already active on Twitter. However, if you’re not already a Twitter member, you’ll have to join it before benefiting from these or other Twitter bot accounts.)

3. For the next couple of weeks, I checked those New York bot Twitter accounts three or four times an hour. And from time to time, I actually found some potential appointments. Unfortunately, however, each time I went to snag a pair of appointments, I was already too late. This happened even when I started checking every five or ten minutes.

4. Finally, in desperation, I researched how to get “push notifications” from individual Twitter accounts. (In general, I hate and avoid push notifications. But this situation called for emergency measures!)

Fortunately, setting up Twitter push notifications on my laptop turned out to be very simple: All I had to do was return to the home pages of each of those two accounts I was already following (@turbovax and @nycshotslots) and click on the icon immediately to the left of the word “following.” (The icon looks like a bell with a plus sign.) Clicking on it turns on push notifications for that specific Twitter feed, and you’ll know it’s properly set up because after clicking on it, it will turn as dark blue as your “following” indicator button.

5. From then on, as long as I was near my laptop (and the sound was on) I’d hear a sound indicating that one of those two accounts had just tweeted. Additionally a visible notice would flash, then disappear very quickly.

6. As soon as I saw or heard one of those “push notifications” I headed to Twitter to read the latest bot tweets and see if it was for appointment locations/dates that might work for us. And the second I saw one that might be good, I clicked on the site, filled out the forms, and was able to successfully book appointments for both Mark and myself.

Even then, acting so swiftly, I ended up with appointments for us on consecutive days, and not the theoretically more desirable same day. But that actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because parking was impossible at that location (Hillcrest High School, Jamaica Queens, NY.)

So Mark and I took turns on consecutive appointment days, remaining in the driver’s seat, illegally parked in front of someone’s driveway with the blinkers on, ready to move the car at a moment’s notice, for as long as it took for the non-car-baby-sitter to get his/her shot.

Mark and I are both very relieved to have gotten our first shots and to have dates scheduled for our second shots. And I hope you too either have gotten (or will soon get) your Covid vaccine shots.

I also hope that you found this info helpful or, at least, enjoyed my limerick.

*****
FYI, here’s a non-Twitter New York State-wide bot that I haven’t tried, because I discovered it after booking our appointments.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CASH or CACHE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 29, 2020)

Sunday, February 16th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CASH or CACHE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CLOTHING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CLOTHING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 1, 2020 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 29, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my CASH/CACHE-Rhyme limerick:

I’m in a big rush and must dash
To the bank, cuz I’m all out of cash.
Then there’s lunch and a meeting
And hours of tweeting
Snide gripes — pols and neighbors to bash.

And here’s my CLOTHING-themed limerick:

A woman was totally bare;
She’d removed all her clothes on a dare,
Then shopped aroun’ town
Till a cop flagged her down.
Her excuse? “I have nothing to wear.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Facebook Outage Panic (Limerick)

Monday, November 12th, 2018

When Facebook is down, people panic
And often become rather manic.
Some report it to Twitter,
Whose regulars titter
At our Facebook addiction Satanic.

Limerick Ode To 280 Characters

Tuesday, November 7th, 2017

I have 280 characters. Yay!
But now that I do, what to say?
A big thank you to Twitter
For letting me litter
Your site with my limerick spray.