Archive for the ‘Chores Humor’ Category
Wednesday, June 4th, 2014
Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sylvan Goldman designed something smart;
He invented the food shopping cart.
With its basket, it aids
In a task that pervades
All our lives — buying stuff at the mart.
On June 4, 1937, Humpty Dumpty supermarket chain owner Sylvan Goldman introduced his invention, the shopping cart, in Oklahoma City.
The invention did not catch on immediately. Men found them effeminate; women found them suggestive of a baby carriage. “I’ve pushed my last baby buggy,” offended women informed him. After hiring several male and female models to push his new invention around his store and demonstrate their utility, as well as greeters to explain their use, his folding-style shopping carts became extremely popular and Goldman became a multimillionaire by collecting a royalty on every folding design shopping cart in the United States.
Tags: Errands Humor, Household Chores, Humpty Dumpty, Inventions Poem, June Holidays, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Shopping Verse, Supermarket Aisles, Sylvan Goldman
Posted in Chores Humor, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart
Saturday, May 31st, 2014
Limerick Ode To Flowering Weeds
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our neighbor insists we should weed
And refuses to even concede
That a weed can have beauty.
That gal is too snooty.
Methinks that her soul’s gone to seed.
Tags: Beauty Limerick, Household Chores, Lawn Humor, Neighbors Humor, Outdoors Humor, Weeding Humor
Posted in Chores Humor, Gardens / Plant Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Outdoors Humor | 6 Comments »
Thursday, February 27th, 2014
Foreign News Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s so windy, I have to go out:
Foreign papers are scattered about.
Though I clean up our yard,
It’s soon once again scarred.
This paper route’s making me pout.
True story: This afternoon, I look out our living room window and see that our front lawn is strewn with newspapers. It’s a windy day, and a neighbor’s Korean (I think) newspaper has apparently made a run for it.
I immediately stop what I’m doing and go outdoors to contend with the litter. Why the big rush? Because New York City Sanitation workers just love to peruse neighborhoods during windstorms, so they can give out messy-lawn citations.
Ten minutes after I finish, I look out the window once again, only to find that it looks like I never dealt with the garbage. So I go out once again, this time picking up similar-looking papers from the neighbors on either side of me, as well.
No, I won’t take credit for being a Good Samaritan. This was purely defensive.
It was only a matter of time before my neighbors’ messes decided they like my lawn better.
Tags: Garbage Humor, Home Ownership, Lawn Humor, Neighbors Humor, New York City, Sanitation Verse, Weather Poem, Wind
Posted in Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, February 15th, 2014
Post-Valentine’s Day Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shoveling snow–
Not my favorite chore.
Mark did it for me.
That’s what marriage is for.
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Chores Humor, February Holidays, Holiday, Husband Humor, Marriage Verse, Romance Humor, Romantic Husbands, Shoveling Snow, Snow Verse, Valentine Day's Humor, Weather Poem
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Chores Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Romance Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, December 17th, 2013
Another Snow Job (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mark, thanks for shov’ling today.
If you hadn’t, that snow’d surely stay
Until I did the chore,
A job I abhor.
It’s more fun to make limerick hay.
Tags: Home Ownership, Poetry Humor, Seasonal Verse, Shoveling Snow, Snow Poetry, Weather Humor, Weather Poem, Winter Humor, Writers
Posted in Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, December 8th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow whose body was round…*
or
A woman was running around…*
or
A rumor was going around…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
A Round Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An expounder loved lounging around
By the pool, spewing thoughts unprofound.
“You’re a bore! Do a chore,”
Hounded spouse number four.
He thumbs-downed her. Unsound! He soon drowned.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bores, Chores Humor, Competition Limerick, Household Chores, Husband Wife Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Talkative, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 72 Comments »
Monday, March 11th, 2013
I’m celebrating National Worship Of Tools Day (March 11th) with this limerick:
Happy Worship Of Tools Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“If only I had the right tool!”
That’s my husband’s pet phrase, as a rule,
Fueled by trying a fix
With his personal mix
Of chewing gum, tape, and some drool.
Tags: Home Repair Humor, House Repairs, Household tools, Husband Humor, March Holidays, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Limerick, Spousal Humor, Spouse Limerick, Tools Limerick, Worship Of Tools Day
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on Happy “Worship Of Tools Day” (Limerick)
Thursday, April 19th, 2012
Once in a while I like to experiment with a new (to me) poetry form. Today, its the framed couplet, explained in detail and illustrated over at dVerse by Gay Reiser Cannon. (The main rules are: 9 syllable lines, the first syllable of each line is accented, and both the first and last syllable of each couplet line rhyme.) Here are my two attempts:
The Quest
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Poetry and prose in fits and starts,
Knowing that my words can open hearts.
Writing’s daily challenge — must confront.
Light or heavy verse — I’m on the hunt.
Trying out new forms can lead the way,
Prying out the words I need to say,
Freeing up my brain and letting loose,
Keying into that which cuts my noose.
*****
The List
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Naming all the things that I must do.
Blaming times’s escape, when I do few.
Toting up the items left undone.
Noticing my list is missing fun.
*****
Tags: Creative Prompts, Creativity, DVerse, Framed Couplets, Gay Reiser Cannon, List Humor, Muse, Poetry Forms, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Chores Humor, Creativity Verse, Framed Couplets, Poetry Forms, Writing & Publishing Humor | 36 Comments »
Tuesday, April 17th, 2012
Are you all ready for National Pet Owners Independence Day?
A gal who’d been cleaning was jarred
By some leaves just dragged in from her yard.
Displaying a broom,
She yelled, “Sweep up this room!”
To her dog. (Guess she’s working too hard.)
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, April Holidays, Backyard, Dog Verse, Dogs Humor, Household Chores, Household tools, Pet Owners, Pet Owners Independence Day, Spring Cleaning, Stress Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 6 Comments »
Saturday, February 11th, 2012
Happy National Inventors’ Day! Why is National Inventors’ Day celebrated on February 11th? Back in 1983, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed February 11th National Inventors’ Day to honor the anniversary of inventor Thomas Alva Edison’s birth.
Here’s a silly invention-related limerick that has absolutely to do with Edison:
Inventive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A device that was meant to clean crud
Made a mess and was rather a dud.
But in spite of this glitch,
The inventor got rich,
Which explains why his name became mud.
Tags: Cleanliness Humor, Computer Humor, February Holidays, Inventions Poem, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Odd Holidays, Presidential Proclamation, Ronald Reagan, Technology Humor, Thomas Alva Edison
Posted in Chores Humor, Computer Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Technology Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, August 8th, 2011
Raw Confusion Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I stare at my freezer, unglued:
I’m in “Indian leftovers” mood.
But it’s chaos in there.
Yes, from now on I swear
That I’ll label my freezer-bound food.
UPDATE: I just found out that November 29th is “Throw Out Your Leftovers Day.” And October 30th is Haunted Refrigerator Night.
Tags: Eating Limerick, Food Poetry, Food Verse, Freezer Limerick, Frozen Food, Haunted Refrigerator Night, Household Chores, Indian Cuisine, Leftovers Limerick, November Holidays, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Throw Out Your Leftovers Day
Posted in Chores Humor, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 10 Comments »
Wednesday, April 20th, 2011
Squeezing three specific words into a limerick can be a daunting challenge. But Three Word Wednesday wants poems using cleanse, knead, and melt. Its wish is my command:
Half-Baked Housewife
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m lousy at baking and kneading
And the same goes for cooking and feeding.
I melt when I cleanse
And it gives me the bends.
Am I awful at housework? Conceding.
Tags: Baking Humor, Cleanliness Humor, Cooking, Food Verse, Household Chores, Wife Humor
Posted in Chores Humor, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks | 21 Comments »
Monday, January 3rd, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
But before I get to this week’s Limerick-Off, I want to point you to my thank you Limerick Ode To My Limerick-Off Friends.
And now I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A cat-owner made a mistake…
Here’s mine. (It was inspired by a post-Christmas personal anecdote told by my pal Linda Ann Nickerson, who’s both a writer and an animal enthusiast.)
Kitty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A cat-owner made a mistake,
While packing up stuff half-awake.
She bundled her cat
In her closet. The rat!
Cat in closet can cause quite a quake.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Animal Poetry, Cat Humor, Pet Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Chores Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 18 Comments »
Tuesday, December 28th, 2010
Mark and I are looking forward to the next heavy rain storm, since we don’t dare hope for a multi-day thaw. And until one or the other happens here in New York City, we won’t be able to use our back door (which opens out) or get into our yard.
My two-verse limerick explains all:
Who Needs A Door, Anyway?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Can’t exit our house from the back,
Cuz the door’s blocked by snowdrifts, alack!
We would shovel it free
If we could, but you see
We’ve no route to that snow we can track.
For the trail to that door’s through the yard.
And clearing that path’s more than hard.
For the yard gate is blocked
From inside, as if locked
By still more snow. Our entry is barred.
Tags: Backyard, Chores, House & Home, New York City Verse, Outdoors, Seasonal Verse, Shoveling Snow, Snow Poetry, Weather Humor, Winter Limerick
Posted in Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, December 26th, 2010
Blizzard Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The snowfall is coming down quick
And, alas, it appears to be thick.
Though winter’s just started,
I’d gladly discard it
Cuz shoveling isn’t my shtick.
Tags: Blizzard Forecast, Seasonal Verse, Shoveling Snow, Snow Poetry, Weather Poem
Posted in Chores Humor, Limericks, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | Comments Off on Blizzard Limerick
Thursday, May 27th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who hated to clean…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Not-So-Clean Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who hated to clean
Was a bach’lor. (You know what I mean.)
His home was a wreck,
Filled with dust-covered dreck.
The mess was quite frankly obscene.
When he took a cute date to his place,
She fled, saying “What a disgrace!
I refuse to date pigs.
Get me out of these digs.
And my phone number? Kindly erase.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bachelor Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Poem, House & Home, Household Chores, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Spring Cleaning, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, Dating Humor, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 15 Comments »
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
Dear Press: Clean Up Your Own Damn Mess! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We get headlines each March from the press:
“It’s Spring — Time To Clean Up Your Mess.”
Seems they’re too dumb to know
That we’re still getting snow.
Dear journos, stop giving me stress!
Related Post: Guilt Springs Eternal
Tags: House & Home, Household Chores, March Holidays, Media Limerick, Seasonal Verse, Spring Cleaning, Stress Humor, Weather Poem
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, February 11th, 2010
I’m so sick of this snowy New York winter. And of all the fretful phone calls from my mother-in-law, warning hubby Mark about snow shoveling and heart attacks. Funny, she isn’t at all concerned about my heart.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Send Us Spring, STAT!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m achy from head down to toe.
The cause? I’ve been shoveling snow.
I wanted to punt,
But instead, did our front,
While my spouse did the rest — quid pro quo.
********
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the one up side of February which is coming up very soon: Valentines Day. And so happy Valentines day, especially to you fellows who may find this Valentines Day column helpful. Gals, you can thank me later.
Tags: Health Risks, Heart Attack Poetry, Mother-in-Law Humor, New York Weather, Seasonal Verse, Shoveling Snow, Snow Poetry, Snow Storm Poem, Snow Verse, Weather Poem, Winter Limerick
Posted in Chores Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Relationship Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 6 Comments »
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
Guilt Springs Eternal
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Spring has arrived. Do you feel guilty yet? If not, you apparently don’t read women’s magazines. Every March and April they’re packed with “clean up and organize your life” articles. Stories with catchy titles like Spring Into Action — Tidy Up Your House. Or Wash Away Winter Blues. Or Banish Clutter Now; Otherwise We’ll Keep Torturing You With Articles Meant to Make you Feel Like A Slothful Bum. Personally, I’d rather read Why Clean? It Will Only Get Dirty Again Tomorrow.
Why do magazines publish these pieces? Because every spring millions of women have the same Pavlovian response: Guilt. Guilt quickly followed by a spending spree on periodicals and cleaning supplies. They grab every magazine in sight and, in a fit of post-New Year’s resolution fervor, vow to Martha Stewartize their homes.
Do these articles help? Do they unlock the sacred secret of “eat off your basement floor” womanhood? Hahahahahahaha. Pardon me — I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were serious. (Guilt Springs Eternal continues here.)
Tags: Chores, Essays, Feminism, Guilt, House, Magazines, March Holidays, Martha Stewart, Media, Men, Parody, Seasons, Spring Cleaning, Women
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Chores Humor, Feminist Satire, House & Home Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Media Humor, Seasons Humor | 11 Comments »
Monday, March 19th, 2007
That Errant List
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh, what have I done with my list
Of the things I must do to exist?
Every errand and chore,
Bills to pay, forms galore—
They’re all itemized … even my tryst.
UPDATE: October 30th is Checklist Day.
View my Errant List limerick image here.
Tags: Checklist Day, Checklist Humor, Checklists Day, Chores, Compulsive Behavior Humor, Errands, Getting Organized Humor, Limerick Images, List Humor, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 2 Comments »
