Posts Tagged ‘Cleanliness Humor’

Not Showering Bathtubs With Praise (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 7th, 2015

Happy Bathtub Day! (October 7)

When it’s time to get clean, we can choose
Either shower or bathtub — I’ll use
A hot shower each time
Cuz I hate soapy slime,
And in tubs the slime clings like tattoos.

This Trend Stinks (Limerick)

Thursday, June 6th, 2013

I’m both steamed and in a lather over this stinky new “cleansing reduction” trend. I don’t know about you, but in our house, daily showers are a fixture.

This Trend Stinks (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a trend that I’d sure like to quell:
Bidding show’ring each day a farewell.
Daily cleansing’s essential
And highly prudential:
If you don’t shower daily, you smell.

Coming Clean About Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, January 20th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow had planned to come clean…*

or

A fellow who hated to clean…*

or

A woman had planned to come clean…*

or

A woman who hated to clean…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Coming Clean About Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow had planned to come clean
About actions he knew were obscene,
Till he noticed the knife
In the hand of his wife,
Well positioned for venting his spleen.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Inventive Limerick

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

Happy National Inventors’ Day! Why is National Inventors’ Day celebrated on February 11th? Back in 1983, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed February 11th National Inventors’ Day to honor the anniversary of inventor Thomas Alva Edison’s birth.

Here’s a silly invention-related limerick that has absolutely to do with Edison:

Inventive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A device that was meant to clean crud
Made a mess and was rather a dud.
But in spite of this glitch,
The inventor got rich,
Which explains why his name became mud.

Half-Baked Housewife

Wednesday, April 20th, 2011

Squeezing three specific words into a limerick can be a daunting challenge. But Three Word Wednesday wants poems using cleanse, knead, and melt. Its wish is my command:

Half-Baked Housewife
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m lousy at baking and kneading
And the same goes for cooking and feeding.
I melt when I cleanse
And it gives me the bends.
Am I awful at housework? Conceding.

Two Haiku

Monday, December 31st, 2007

When prompted to use the words curious, eventually, and shower in a poem, this haiku more or less wrote itself:

I am curious:
Will you eventually
Shower?  I hope so.

And here’s another haiku, this one inspired by an earth-themed prompt:

There’s no earthly way
I’d ever vote for global
Warming deniers.