MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

Cool news! I’m a 2008 Robert Benchley Society Award for Humor Competition finalist. (The humor column that got me onto the finalists list is Guide For The Opera Impaired.)

“We had a delightful time selecting our top ten finalists this year,” said Robert Benchley Society chairperson David Trumbull. “It is a true honor to turn the job of selecting the top four essays over to Bob Newhart.”

“All of the entries are read blind.  No one knows who wrote which essay until the judging is finished.  This keeps the competition entirely merit based,” said Horace J. Digby, a past Benchley Society Award winner…

Newhart’s selection and ranking of the top four winners for this year’s Robert Benchley Society Awards will be announced the week of July 6th. 
 
The Robert Benchley Society Award for Humor is an international writing competition dedicated to the warm, self-effacing comic writing style that made Benchley so beloved during his lifetime.  …

I thought I’d celebrate with a limerick:

I can barely maintain my sobriety
Cuz the great Robert Benchley Society
Held a contest and wow,
I’m a finalist now.
Will I win the top prize? High anxiety!

Technorati Tags: Robert Benchley Society, Award for Humor, David Trumbull, Horace J. Digby, Bob Newhart

Thanks to all of you who participated in this, my third limerick writing contest. (And yes, I’ll be running another contest later this summer.) Once again, your enthusiasm and creativity has made this a fun experience for me and, I hope, for you.

The response to my money-related limerick writing contest exceeded my wildest hopes and set a new record - 94 limericks were submitted. And the overall quality of the entries was very impressive — so impressive, that I’ve decided to expand the prize money pool enough to award an extra prize.

And speaking of prizes, I’m awarding a First Prize ($25 in PayPal cash), a Second Prize ($15 in PayPal cash), a Third Prize ($10 in PayPal cash), and six Honorable Mentions. And the winners are…

FIRST PRIZE goes to Max Gutmann (author of There Was a Young Girl from Verona: A Limerick Cycle Based on the Complete Dramatic Works of Shakespeare) for a limerick that made me laugh out loud, no matter how many times I re-read it:

Can the money you’ve got be called loot?
Here’s a test: did a guy in a suit
Grunt “Da big guy sez T’anks”?
Did you “find” it in banks?
Did a lady say, “Take it, don’t shoot”?

SECOND PRIZE goes to Shawn McBurnie for this very amusing (and all too true) limerick:

Let me tell you, it’s not what you know.
I work hard, but I’ve reached a plateau.
I’ve a dozen degrees,
Which astounds the trustees—
Would you like that for here or to go?

THIRD PRIZE goes to mephistopheles for this funny limerick:

A drunk who was drowning his sorrow
Had requested some cash he could borrow,
And polite as can be,
Bowed and thanked both of me,
And avouched he’d repay us tomorrow.

And six HONORABLE MENTIONS go to (listed in submission order):

Jesse Frankovich:
The more of my money I bet,
The more in return I shall net!
But, of course, should I lose,
I’ll be singing the blues
As each bet, I regret, becomes debt.

Chris Young:
There’s a dieting guru called Valerie
Who garners the healthiest salary.
Her food range (extensive)
Is so darn expensive,
It works out as £10 per calorie.

Stephen Gold:
This accrued lunch expense is so high…
Do you think that your limit’s the sky?
To the counters of beans
All your bean-feasting means
It’s a fine time to bid you goodbye.

Chris Doyle:
A Switzerland bank says I’ll earn
All the interest with little concern
That the Feds can acquire
The date of my wire,
So soon I’ll have money to Bern.

Doug Harris:
“Being rich = happy”. Not I!
My disposable income’s run dry.
Some say that great wealth
Is just bad for your health
Maybe so, but I’d give it a try!

Rebecca Zugor:
My credit card spending is vast -
Not sure how much longer I’ll last.
To help pay these bills
Leave me lots in your wills.
I need cash in a flash, please die fast!

Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks again to everybody who participated. (You can read all of the entries right here.)

And please stay tuned — I’ll be announcing another limerick contest very soon right here in this blog. And if you have any contest topic suggestions, feel free to post them in a comment to this post. 

Technorati Tags: Limerick Contest, Money Limericks, Contest Results, Prize Winning Limericks, Money Wit And Poems

If you’ve followed my previous limerick contests, you know that it’s just about time for another one.

So here’s my challenge: Write a money-related limerick (earning it, spending it, saving it, investing it, winning it, wasting it, being taxed on it, etc.) and post it here in a comment to this post, no later than Wednesday, June 27, 2007. (You may enter as many limericks as you’d like.) I’ll announce the winners on Thursday, June 28, 2007.

The first prize will be $25. The second prize will be $10. Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.

So, what exactly is a limerick? It’s a five line poem with an AABBA rhyme scheme and a very specific meter exemplified by these winning entries. (For more information about limericks check out these fine sites: Encyclospeedia Oedilfica and OEDILF.)

I’m looking forward to reading your entries! 

Update: This contest is now closed, and the names of the winners and their winning entries are here. Thanks so much for your many excellent submissions. 

Technorati Tags: Limerick Contest, Money Limericks, Money Poems, Financial Limericks, Writing Contests, Money Verse, Financial Verse, Money Poetry

Thanks to all of you who participated in this, my second limerick writing contest. (And yes, another contest will be coming soon.)

The response to my Mother’s Day limerick contest exceeded my wildest hopes - 87 poems were submitted. Your delightful entries and enthusiasm has made this a fun experience for me and, I hope, for you.

Before I announce the winners, I want to thank contest sponsor Billy Jones a/k/a Billy The Blogging Poet, who is providing prize matching funds.

And speaking of prizes, I’m awarding (including the matching funds) a First Prize ($50 in PayPal cash), a Second Prize ($20 in PayPal cash), and four Honorable Mentions. And the winners are…

FIRST PRIZE goes to Mephistopheles for a limerick that made me laugh out loud:

When you’re shrunk by one shrink or another,
‘Cause you’re pissed at your sister or brother,
Does your tongue tend to trip
In a Freudian slip—
Saying one thing while meaning your mother?

SECOND PRIZE goes to Peter Sheil for this moving tribute to his mother:

“It’s the hospital here, please come fast!”
There we sat, with our thoughts from the past.
At the side of her bed
Nothing more could be said.
One short breath … then one more … then her last.

And four HONORABLE MENTIONS go to (listed in submission order):

Jesse Frankovich:
My mommy is loving and caring,
Only sometimes a bit overbearing:
“Make your bed! Clean your room!
Mow the lawn! Don’t presume
You can play all day long! And stop swearing!”

Stella:
A mother is patient and kind,
Forgiving, forbearing, refined;
But mind if she cracks,
When stressed to the max,
‘Cos she’ll wallop your sorry behind.

BobfromThirsk:
As a baby I loved my dear mother
‘Till she gave me my sweet little brother.
But hang on there mum
What’s that lump in your tum,
O.M.G. is she baking another?

Mary Lou Healy’s The Steamy Novel:
That marvelous mother of mine
Thought my penchant for reading was fine.
She gave me a book.
Before letting me look,
Ripped out eighty through page eighty-nine!

Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks again to everybody who participated. (You can read all of the entries here.)

And please stay tuned — I’ll be announcing another limerick contest very soon right here in this blog — probably mid-June.

Technorati Tags: Limerick Contest, Mother’s Day Limericks, Contest Results, Prize Winning Limericks,  Holiday Verse

My spring limerick contest was such a success, I’ve decided to hold limerick contests regularly.  And it’s time for another one. 

So here’s my challenge: Write a limerick related to the subject of mothers and post it here in a comment to this post no later than Saturday, May 12, 2007.  I’ll announce the winners on Mother’s Day, May 13, 2007.

The first prize will be $25.  The second prize will be $10.  Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.

So, what exactly is a limerick?  It’s a five line poem with an AABBA rhyme scheme and a very specific meter exemplified by these winning entries. (For more information about limericks check out these fine sites: Encyclospeedia Oedilfica and OEDILF.)

I’m looking forward to reading your entries!

UPDATE: The prize money has just doubled, thanks to a matching funds contest sponsorship by Billy Jones a/k/a Billy The Blogging Poet. Thanks to Billy’s generosity,  there now will be $50 in first prize money and $20 in second prize money. Very cool, Billy!

UPDATE 2: This contest is now over, and the winners list and winning entries are posted here. Thanks for your wonderful entries, and stay tuned — another limerick contest is coming soon.

Technorati Tags: Limerick Contest, Mother’s Day Limericks, Writing Contests, Moms Humor, Parents Humor, Parenting Humor

Thanks to all of you who participated in this, my first limerick writing contest.  (And yes, I’ll be holding these contests regularly.)

The response to my spring limerick contest exceeded my wildest hopes - nearly 60 poems were submitted.  In fact, there were so many wonderful entries — some poignant, some laugh-out-loud funny — that it was hard to select the winners. 

But the voting’s in and the panel has rendered its decision.  Okay, I admit it –  it was a panel of one – me.  Still, I did so much arguing with myself, that it felt like a much larger panel.

I’m awarding a First Prize ($25 in PayPal cash), a Second Prize ($10 in PayPal cash), and five Honorable Mentions.  And the winners are…  

FIRST PRIZE goes to Graham Lester for this lovely limerick:

Blossoms bloom, we’re in love, and it’s Spring!
How delightful, you’re going to sing!
You’re as sweet as a flower,
Yet I’m suddenly sour
As you say, “And now something by Sting. . .”

SECOND PRIZE goes to Bob Dvorak for this fine limerick:

Flight of fancy, my love taking wing
Joins the jaybirds and bluebirds that sing
As the days burgeon long –
Hear my heart beating strong
For my darling. I love you. It’s spring!

And five HONORABLE MENTIONS go to (in no particular order) …

J. E. Pettit:
It’s springtime, which means that my fancy
Is turning to thoughts of my Nancy.
But marry this summer?
I’d have to be dumber;
Her husband would kill us! Too chancy!

hugh t:
Passion’s flames have died down to an ember:
She is April; I’m chill December.
It’s a rather sad thing
To remember one’s Spring
When there’s not much spring left in one’s member.

Richard Stehr:
Through the winter I slog and I schlep,
But in spring there’s a spring in my step.
All the birds are in song,
And I’m singing along
With a throat that is strong…and not strep.

Mephistopheles:
That “Sproing!” that we hear is the sound
As our greenery springs from the ground.
Every Spring, there’s a chance
We’ll get rioting plants,
When their mainsprings get overly wound.

David Franks:
Though it’s cold, I find winter infernal–
Its dim, lifeless stay seems eternal.
Take this hiemal night!
Give me growth, life and light:
My favorite days are the vernal.

Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks again to everybody who participated. (You can read all of the entries here.)

And please stay tuned — I’ll be announcing another limerick contest very soon right here in this blog. I should be posting something about it mid-April, just as soon as I get my tax return done. And the topics will be — you guessed it — money and taxes.

Technorati Tags: Limerick Contest, Spring Limericks, Contest Results, Winning Spring Limericks, Spring Poetry, Seasonal Verse

Writing my Is It Spring Yet? limerick gave me an idea to launch the first of what I hope will be many limerick writing contests.

So here’s my challenge: Write a limerick related somehow to the subject of spring and post it here in my comments.  I’ll announce the winners on the first day of spring.   The first prize will be $25.  The second prize will be $10.  Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.

I’m looking forward to reading your entries!

UPDATE: This contest is officially closed and the spring limerick contest winners and their winning entries are here.

Please check back on this blog in mid-April, when I expect to announce a new limerick contest. 

Technorati Tags: Limerick Contest, Spring Limericks, Writing Contests