Archive for the ‘Fashion Humor’ Category

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SUEDE, SWAYED, PERSUADE, or DISSUADE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: August 19, 2023)

Saturday, July 22nd, 2023

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SUEDE, SWAYED, PERSUADE, or DISSUADE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TESTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TEST-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: DUCK, GIFTED, JITTERY, MERGE, STAR.

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on August 20, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 19, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SUEDE, SWAYED, PERSUADE, or DISSUADE-Rhyme Limerick:

A woman would always wear suede,
Head to toes, both in sun and in shade.
Her spouse fin’ly snapped
Cuz her nighties were napped:
“Our marriage’s fabric is frayed!”

And here’s my TEST-Themed Limerick:

I once took an aptitude test
To learn what I’d likely do best.
The results? Useless crap!
‘Twas all over the map:
“NEVER NAVIGATE!” That’s what it stressed.

And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:

When a jittery mother was told
That her daughter was gifted, she polled
All the parents she knew:
“Could it really be true,
Or do ALL kids get stickers of gold?”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DRINK or DRINKS at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: July 22, 2023)

Saturday, June 24th, 2023

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRINK or DRINKS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TASTE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TASTE-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: ACE, AFRAID, FUNCTION, JADED, UPSET.

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on July 23, 2023 , right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 22, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my DRINK/DRINKS-Rhyme Limerick:

A nurse who appears on the brink
Of a breakdown stopped seeing her shrink.
“He’s been making me worse,”
She asserts with a curse.
“Plus he claims that I drove him to drink.”

And here’s my TASTE-Themed Limerick:

A gal with a poor sense of style
Hadn’t bought any clothes in a while.
So she purchased a dress,
A bright red, tasteless mess,
Way too ugly and gross to defile.

And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:

I’m afraid that I’m being replaced
Based on nothing important; I’ve aced
All my functions and more,
Yet they’ve shown me the door.
Their grievance? They claim I eat paste.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Colorful Exchange (Limerick)

Sunday, August 7th, 2022

Sometimes, when I play with a new-to-me word, I get a bit silly:

“What color’s your purse?” asked a nurse.
“A deep purple?” The answer: “It’s ‘perse!’”
“Yes, I know. But what shade
Is your pocketbook’s suede?”
“I said ‘perse!’” (Plus a colorful curse.)

My Sock Solution (Limerick)

Thursday, March 17th, 2022

I always wear socks inside out.
That’s unseemly to many, no doubt.
But my feet ain’t discreet:
“Scratchy sock-seams,” they bleat.
How I hate when extremities shout!

May 9 is National Lost Sock Memorial Day. And December 4 is National Sock Day.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BOLD or BOWLED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 22, 2022 )

Saturday, January 8th, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOLD or BOWLED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INJURIES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INJURY-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 23, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 22, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my BOLD or BOWLED-rhyme limerick:

“You are scantily clad, which is bold,
Cuz I’ve just been outside, and it’s cold.
Your dress seems designed
To freeze your behind,
So you’d best put that ‘hot’ garb on hold.”

And here’s my INJURY-themed limerick:

A young man hurled a tool and yelled, “Catch it.”
And his friend somehow managed to snatch it,
But he’s terribly mad;
He was injured. It’s bad!
No surprise, he won’t bury the hatchet.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SET/BeSET/UpSET the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: June 12, 2021)

Saturday, May 29th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SET or BeSET or UpSET at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TRENDS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TRENDS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on June 13, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 12, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SET or BeSET or UpSET-rhyme limerick:

I need all the sleep I can get,
But I can’t get to sleep on a bet.
(Or a bed, for that matter.)
I blame all the chatter
My brain conjures up. I’m beset.

And here’s my TRENDS-themed limerick:

If I tried to be cool, I would fail.
Trends are nothing I ever would hail.
If I wear something “in,”
It has probably been
Purchased decades ago … and on sale.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Unfashionable Limerick

Wednesday, August 21st, 2019

A woman with terrible taste
Believed fashion and style were a waste,
And when items she owned
Became trendy she groaned;
They were thrown in the garbage posthaste.

Happy World Fashion Day! (August 21)

Skirting Skirt-Racks (Limerick)

Saturday, March 10th, 2018

Though it’s “Skirt Day,” I’d rather wear pants,
Whether walking or trying to dance.
I’ll ponder and pause,
Lest I feature my flaws —
Flaws that skirts simply love to enhance.

Happy Dress Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 6th, 2018

“You’re moving too much. Please hold still,”
Said a seamstress while sewing a frill
On a dress that was drab
And would never be fab,
Though it WOULD yield a fabulous bill.

Happy Dress Day! (March 6)

Happy “Clashing Clothes Day!” (Limerick)

Thursday, January 25th, 2018

Happy “Clashing Clothes Day!” (4th Thursday of January)

Said a gal to her spouse, with a frown:
“Tell me, why are you dressed like a clown?
Orange jacket? Green shirt?
Purple pants? My eyes hurt!
Just this once, can’t you wear solid brown?”

#ClashingClothesDay #NationalClashingClothesDay

Out Of Whack Fashion (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017

Headline of the Day: “For $425, Nordstrom will sell you a pair of dirty jeans.”

Pricey fashion (to me) doesn’t track,
And much of it makes my jaws slack,
Such as pre-muddied jeans;
Yes, people with means
Can buy ’em at Nordstrom, alack!

Happy Birthday, Bikini (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 5th, 2016

Today’s the bikini’s 70th birthday. So happy World Bikini Day!

I’ve never dared don a bikini;
They’re too skimpily small — teeny-weenie.
Call me shy if you must,
But I simply don’t lust
After beachwear that’s dwarfed by a beanie.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Press or Impress or Express or Oppress at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, May 28th, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Press or Impress or Express or Oppress at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ANGER, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best anger-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on June 12, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 11, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

When job-seekers “dress to impress”
At the office, that’s helpful I guess.
But must social attire
Entail and require
Spending ev’ry last cent you possess?

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode And Haiku To Lost Sock Memorial Day

Monday, May 9th, 2016

AWOL socks are a grim laundry given;
Former pairs inexplicably riven,
Dresser drawers oddly littered
With orphans, embittered
And wond’rin’ where old mates are livin’.

*****

Yet another sock
Has escaped; it’s on the run.
AWOL! Or eaten.

May 9 is National Lost Sock Memorial Day. And December 4 is National Sock Day.

Limerick Ode To Mismatched Shoes

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016

If you’re wearing a shoe that is black
And another that’s brown, is that wack?
Not today; On May third
It’s endorsed – not absurd –
Your defense, should you get any flack.

Happy Wear Two Different Colored Shoes Day. (May 3)

Limerick Ode To “Clashing Clothes Day”

Friday, January 29th, 2016

Damn! I somehow missed “Clashing Clothes Day” yesterday. (It’s celebrated annually on the 4th Thursday of January.)

But it’s never too late for a limerick:

A fellow who’d constantly clash
And wear clothes that appeared to be trash,
Attended a party
Quite retro and arty.
His clothing “designs” were a smash.

Yet Another Donald Trump Limerick

Wednesday, July 1st, 2015

Yet Another Donald Trump Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Donald’s a pain in the rump.
Just seeing his name makes me jump
And turn grumpy and peeved,
So I’m rather relieved:
Macy’s dumping the “fashion” line “Trump.”

(More Donald Trump humor here.)

Not Panting To Wear Jeans (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

I find jeans to be patently uncomfortable. But I’m dutifully celebrating the birthday of its patent — granted to Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis on May 20th, 1873:

Call them denims or jeans — I don’t care–
That’s one garment I simply won’t wear.
I don’t buy the appeal
Of its look or its feel,
And I’d rather go naked. Don’t stare!

*****

National Blue Jeans Day falls on December 5th.

Posterior Advances (Limerick)

Monday, November 24th, 2014

Posterior Advances (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Most hospital gowns can cause tears
Cuz our butt spheres so rarely get cheers.
But the med field’s revealed
Asses CAN be concealed;
New frontiers in design shield our rears.

Smarting from “Smart Shoes” (Limerick)

Monday, August 4th, 2014

Do we really need “smart shoes” that will vibrate us in the right direction using Google Maps? Ducere Technologies thinks so.

Smarting from “Smart Shoes” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear shoemakers, please have a heart.
I do NOT want my shoes to be smart.
I just want them to feel
(both my sole and my heel)
Like they’re not out for blood from the start.