Posts Tagged ‘Fashion Humor’

Happy Birthday, Bikini (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 5th, 2016

Today’s the bikini’s 70th birthday. So happy World Bikini Day!

I’ve never dared don a bikini;
They’re too skimpily small — teeny-weenie.
Call me shy if you must,
But I simply don’t lust
After beachwear that’s dwarfed by a beanie.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Press or Impress or Express or Oppress at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, May 28th, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Press or Impress or Express or Oppress at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ANGER, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best anger-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on June 12, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 11, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

When job-seekers “dress to impress”
At the office, that’s helpful I guess.
But must social attire
Entail and require
Spending ev’ry last cent you possess?

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To Lost Sock Memorial Day

Monday, May 9th, 2016

AWOL socks are a grim laundry given;
Former pairs inexplicably riven,
Dresser drawers oddly littered
With orphans, embittered
And wond’rin’ where old mates are livin’.

May 9 is National Lost Sock Memorial Day.

Limerick Ode To Mismatched Shoes

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016

If you’re wearing a shoe that is black
And another that’s brown, is that wack?
Not today; On May third
It’s endorsed – not absurd –
Your defense, should you get any flack.

Happy Wear Two Different Colored Shoes Day. (May 3)

Yet Another Donald Trump Limerick

Wednesday, July 1st, 2015

Yet Another Donald Trump Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Donald’s a pain in the rump.
Just seeing his name makes me jump
And turn grumpy and peeved,
So I’m rather relieved:
Macy’s dumping the “fashion” line “Trump.”

(More Donald Trump humor here.)

Not Panting To Wear Jeans (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

I find jeans to be patently uncomfortable. But I’m dutifully celebrating the birthday of its patent — granted to Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis on May 20th, 1873:

Call them denims or jeans — I don’t care–
That’s one garment I simply won’t wear.
I don’t buy the appeal
Of its look or its feel,
And I’d rather go naked. Don’t stare!

Limerick Ode To “Women In Trousers Day”

Wednesday, May 28th, 2014

Limerick Ode To Women In Trousers Day (May 28)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear damsels in pants, take a bow
Cuz it’s “Women In Trousers Day” now.
Seems in Nineteen-Two-Three
On this day, the AG
Said you must allow gals to wear trow.

Limerick Ware (Limerick-off Monday)

Saturday, March 29th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

While shopping for fantasy-wear…*

or

A woman appeared unaware…*

or

My break pads have suffered some wear…*

or

I would never buy ready-to-wear…*

or

My wife disappeared — don’t know where…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Ware
By Madeleine Begun Kane

How I wish I could choose what to wear
Without worries that people might stare.
‘Twould be lovely to skirt
The whole issue (no shirt,
Dress, or leggings) and simply go bare.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To The Tux

Thursday, October 10th, 2013

The history of the tuxedo (tux) has several versions, all of which involve New York’s Tuxedo Park Club. According to one version, on October 10, 1886:

Griswold Lorillard (of Lorillard tobacco fame) wore a tailless dress coat that was tailored in England. He wore it to the country club at Tuxedo Park, New York; therefore, the name: tuxedo. The rest is formal fashion history. The tux would later replace the tailcoat.

Limerick Ode To The Tux
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you go to a party deluxe
And are forced to squeeze into a tux,
Some say Lorillard’s the guy
You can thank when you buy
Or must rent one for too many bucks.

Limerick Ode To The Thong

Monday, August 5th, 2013

Are you planning to celebrate National Underwear Day on August 5th? Hint: It involves going out in public wearing just underwear.

Before you do anything rash, you should probably read this limerick:

Limerick Ode To The Thong
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you think you look good in a thong,
Double-check — throngs are certain you’re wrong.
Take a look from all sides.
Please use mirrors as guides.
You still think so? That bong must be strong!

Fashion Success … or Washout? (Limerick)

Friday, January 18th, 2013

Have I got an invention for you: Moisturizing jeans!

Yes, according to at least one jeans manufacturer, denim dries out your skin. Unless, of course, you wear THEIR product: Wrangler’s “Denim Spa” jeans.

I swear that I’m not pulling your leg.

Fashion Success … or Washout? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dreadful news for the dungaree-set,
Of a threat that may just make you sweat:
Denim dries out your skin!
That’s where “Spa” jeans fit in:
Rehydration’s their claim — sounds all wet!

Limerick Ode To Olympic Beach Volleyball

Monday, July 30th, 2012

Limerick Ode To Olympic Beach Volleyball
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch those barely clad women play ball
On the beach, keeping viewers in thrall,
Gals hoping to volley
Olympic wins. Golly!
I’m surprised they wear clothing at all.

Flashy Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, July 29th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was known for his flash…*

or

A gal who was known for her flash…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Flashy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was known for his flash
Wore only a violet sash.
He fell into a pool,
Soaked his blue-purple tulle—
Seems his outfit made rather a splash.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

My “Limerick Ode to a Kilt-Wearing Man” Won A Prize

Saturday, July 14th, 2012

Here’s some cool news! I entered the 2012 Saline (MI) Celtic Festival Limerick Contest with my “Limerick Ode to a Kilt-Wearing Man.” Well it turns out that I won first prize in the Master Class (over 25) category.

I couldn’t attend the festival, but it sure sounds like a fun yearly event.

Here’s my winning limerick:

Limerick Ode to a Kilt-Wearing Man
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was very well built,
Was naked except for his kilt.
He was flouting the regs,
As he flaunted his legs,
And willed certain parts not to wilt.

The Astute Dad (Limerick)

Friday, June 15th, 2012

The Astute Dad (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A dad who was very astute
Always yearned for good Father’s Day loot,
But for decades got ties
That were hard on the eyes.
He exchanged forty ties for a suit.

(Linked at Poetry Jam, which asks us to celebrate.)

Acrostic Limericks In Vogue?

Wednesday, June 15th, 2011

Acrostic Limericks In Vogue?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Very stylish young gals were out walking
On the streets of Manhattan, while talking.
Guys were tempted to cheer:
Undergarments were clear.
Even women who saw them were gawking.

UPDATE: I just realized I’ve written seven acrostic limericks in the last couple of months. Perhaps I can postpone senility, after all.

The Wonderbra Song (Song Parody)

Monday, September 11th, 2006

If you’ve ever wondered exactly how the Wonderbra works, this ad provides a handy demonstration.

And that gives me all the excuse I need to post my Wonderbra Song Parody:

Wonder of wonders.
Miracle of miracles.
Wonderbra can make you huge.

Wonder of wonders.
Wonderbra oh Wonderbra.
Lifts, shores up, and stacks your boobs.

Wonder of wonders.
Miracle of miracles.
Deepens cleavage on demand.

Wonder of wonders.
Wonderbra oh Wonderbra.
Scoops and swells your mammary glands.

The day I first tried on that bra.
That was a miracle.
That was a miracle.

They gaped and gawked and cheered “Hurrah!”
That was a miracle too.

But for all breasts be they large or small.
The most miraculous bra of all. … 

(My Wonderbra Song Parody is continued here.)