Archive for the ‘Restaurant Reviews & Humor’ Category

No Longer Tied To Ties (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2015

Guys who despise ties (and who doesn’t?) will love New York City’s new gender discrimination rule banning restaurants from requiring ties for male diners only.

A male-only necktie demand
In Big Apple rest’rants is banned.
This new rule now protects
Our poor fellows’ sore necks.
How grand that such sexism’s panned!

Holiday Tip (Limerick)

Thursday, May 21st, 2015

Holiday Tip (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m presenting a holiday tip.
No it’s not what you think. Get a grip!
It is Waitstaff Day. See?
And I’m sure you’ll agree
That those folks deserve more than this quip.

(National Waitstaff Day — May 21)

How NOT To Butter Up Your Waiter (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 25th, 2015

How NOT To Butter Up Your Waiter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When given some butter — a dollop,
She said “More, and don’t loll! Hurry! Lollop!”
On the waiter’s return
With a butter-filled urn,
She threw the urn, earning a wallop.

Heated Limerick

Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

Heated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Chipotle says no packing heat
When you come to their rest’rants to eat.
This makes sense, cuz their food’s
Hot enough. Gals and dudes
Should save gunplay for home and the street.

Dishing Dirt (Limerick)

Monday, January 28th, 2013

I enjoy unearthing oddball news items and celebrating their weirdness in verse. For instance, energy bars made from crickets. But a restaurant whose recipe ingredient-list touts dirt? That’s a bit too much to digest.

So, I won’t be going to Tokyo’s French restaurant Ne Quittez Pas any time soon, even if their dirt is “special black soil from Kanuma, Tochigi Prefecture.”

Dishing Dirt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear restaurant, please don’t feel hurt
If I spurn you, including dessert.
I have very good grounds:
Word is making the rounds
That your food features soil — that’s the dirt.

Limerick Review Of Paula’s Stone Cottage Wine Bar

Sunday, June 19th, 2011

Hubby Mark and I had a great time last night sipping wine, munching cheese, and chatting up a storm at the lovely Paula’s Stone Cottage Wine Bar in Fishkill, New York.

Here’s my limerick review:

Limerick Ode To Paula’s Stone Cottage Wine Bar
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a wine bar in Fishkill — first rate:
Charming venue, a cheese plate that’s great.
We were loathe to adjourn
And plan to return
To Paula’s Stone Cottage — can’t wait.

And here’s a review hubby Mark Kane just wrote and posted on Yelp:

My wife and I can’t say enough good about this place.

As soon as we entered we were greeted by this warm, friendly fellow who insisted we meet Paula. And yes there really is a Paula, and she was even more enthusiastic and more welcoming than he was.

We were offered a personal tour of the establishment but declined and instead found ourselves a nice cozy spot at bar where the bartender proceeded to ply us with free shot glasses of wines as he tried to find the perfect wine for each of us, and after four or five he did!

This was not the exception but rather the norm. They really try to make you feel at home, and want you to be very, very happy with your wine selection so you’ll order more no doubt.

We inquired about food and were strongly encouraged to try either the “Cheese Plate” or “Cheese and Meats Plate”. We opted for the “Cheese Plate for Two” and were not at all disappointed.

It could feed three or four easily and was quite impressive. It came complete with a large selection of cheeses, a nice spicy humus, artichoke hearts, perfectly moist sun dried tomatoes, and an assortment of olives. Tried as we did we could not finish it all.

And the music! What an excellent mix of music which Paula has selected. There is something for everyone in that music mix.

The place is very cozy but small so I would be careful about going there with a large group of people unless you get there very early or on an off night. I am told the weekends can be quite busy.

There are three different areas which you can enjoy. A lovely romantic outdoor garden, a very active bar area where impromptu slow dancing has been known to occur, and an equally active lounge in the back.

The music, lighting, great wines, excellent warm service and general ambiance of this place clearly attracts a nice friendly intelligent crowd, people of all ages, rich and poor, married and single all enjoying each other’s company.

You may enter as a stranger but I promise, you will leave as family.

Cooking With Jazz (Limerick Review)

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

For many years, Cooking With Jazz in Whitestone, Queens, New York was one of our favorite restaurants. Then, suddenly, it was gone.

Several years went by, and hubby Mark and I had just about given up on ever getting good New Orleans food again, short of flying to Louisiana. And then, the unimaginable happened — a postcard arrived announcing that Cooking With Jazz had reopened, this time in Jamaica Estates, Queens.

Oh joy!

Within days we were dining at the new Cooking With Jazz, and it’s even better than we remembered.

And so, a limerick in honor of chef-owner Steve and the wonderful Cooking With Jazz restaurant:

Cooking With Jazz (Limerick Review)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a Cajun oasis in Queens
With authentic cuisine, New Orleans,
And the Creole pizzazz
At Cooking With Jazz
Surely rivals all Big Easy scenes.

Limerick Ode To Valerie Harper & More Big Apple Fun

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

I’ve been a Valerie Harper fan dating way back to her years as Mary’s best friend Rhoda in the Mary Tyler Moore Show. And now I’m even a bigger fan, after hubby Mark and I saw her on Broadway this weekend starring as Tallulah Bankhead in Looped.

All I can say is, “Wow!”

Okay, I can say a bit more and have even written Harper a limerick. But first some info: Looped, by Matthew Lombardo, is a very funny comedy about celebrity bad girl Tallulah Bankhead, an out-of-control actress trying to complete her final screen role (Die, Die My Darling).

The play, directed by Rob Ruggiero, takes place in a Los Angeles recording studio and also features Brian Hutchison and Michael Mulheren. These poor fellows are desperately trying to extract one good take from Tallulah, so they can re-record (or “loop”) a single line of dialogue.

Looped is in previews right now at the Lyceum Theatre and opens March 14, 2010.

And now, my limerick:

Limerick Ode To Valerie Harper
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Give Valerie Harper a hand.
She’s in Looped on Broadway and she’s grand.
As Tallulah she’s naughty,
Outrageous, and baudy.
At the end you will cheer as you stand.

Seeing Looped capped off a full and fun day in Manhattan. What else did we do? We walked up Fifth Avenue and wandered around the eclectic Japanese department store, Takashimaya, deciding to save its charming Tea Box restaurant and tea room for another day. Then we moved on to the Central Park Zoo, had drinks at The Oak Bar at the Plaza Hotel, and ate a scrumptious Northern Italian meal at Nocello. (We’d planned to go dancing after the play, but my knee was misbehaving, so we called it an early-for-us night and went home.)

By the way, I highly recommend the Central Park Zoo. People tend to overlook it because it’s so tiny. But it’s very charming, and we especially enjoyed watching one of the polar bears frolic, using a large square of Styrofoam as his floating toy.

The snow leopards, snow monkeys, penguins, and the Rainforest were fun too, as was watching harbor seals being fed and taught tricks.

Two Nights of Big Apple Fun

Friday, December 25th, 2009

If you’ve ever fantasized about a career in the theater, you owe it to yourself to see playwright Theresa Rebeck’s The Understudy on Broadway. Actually, anybody who needs or wants a good laugh should see it. Hubby Mark and I caught it Wednesday night and loved its uproarious depiction of the theater world’s underbelly.

This Roundabout Theatre production is playing through January 17, 2010 at the Laura Pels Theatre. (It’s a limited engagement because the theater is booked after that date, and rumor has it that its great Broadway cast may be taking it on the road.)

Speaking of the cast, Justin Kirk (of Weeds fame) plays the title role. And while I really like him in Weeds, I had no idea what a wonderful comedic actor he is until I saw him in The Understudy.

Mark and I were already huge fans of co-star Julie White, who plays the stage manager. (We’d seen her in The Little Dog Laughed, for which she won well-deserved Tony and Obie Awards.)

Last, but certainly not least, is co-star Mark-Paul Gosselaar, well known to fans of Raising The Bar, NYPD Blue, and Saved By The Bell.

We’d planned to eat dinner after the show at our favorite Mexican restaurant, Tolache, which I wrote about in my Happy Birthday To Me post. But it was so damn cold out, that the thought of walking even a few measly blocks just wasn’t … well … appetizing. So we decided to give the restaurant next door a try.

Turns out it was a terrific decision. Indian food’s my favorite cuisine and the large and lovely Utsav is Indian food at its finest. Best of all, when you ask for extra spicy, you actually get extra spicy.

Okay, that was last night. But I never got a chance to post about our visit last weekend to the Comix Comedy Club. (New York City has lots of clubs featuring standup comedy, but Comix is quickly becoming a favorite.)

The reason for our latest Comix visit was headliner Kevin Pollak. After decades of seeing his comedy and impersonations on TV shows like The Tonight Show, we were eager to see him live. Wow! He was hilarious, and his impersonations of George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, William Shatner, Robert De Niro, and Christopher Walken were letter perfect.

The two warm-up acts, comedians Steve Patterson and Jon Fisch, were also good, especially Canadian Steve Patterson, whose dry delivery and idiosyncratic point of view were refreshingly funny.

After the show we had drinks at nearby Scarpetta, an Italian restaurant housed in a Greek revival townhouse. Its bar is lively and comfortable, and we would have tried its well-reviewed food, had we not already eaten burgers at Comix. Next time!

(Note to the FTC, which recently passed some annoying blogger regulations: I was neither paid nor comped for these reviews. Trust me, we spent way too much money on both nights.)

Happy Birthday To Me

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

Friday, September 11th was my birthday — one of those traumatizing, ends-with-zero birthdays. So I told my husband Mark that, unless he wanted me to be a basket case on nine-eleven, he’d better plan something good.

So, did Mark rise to the occasion? He sure did, as I describe in this three-verse limerick:

Happy Birthday To Me
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My nine-one-one birthday was great!
Hubby Mark planned a fabulous date:
God of Carnage — fine play —
Four fab stars on Broadway.
Yes, I married a wonderful mate.

The play featured James Gandolfini,
Who did not play a mafia meanie.
Hope Davis starred too
And Jeff Daniels. Woo Hoo!
Marcia Harden’s the fourth. Creds ain’t teeny.

We dined on gourmet Mex cuisine:
Toloache’s the best I have seen.
And we drank and we danced
At two bars. Age advanced?
Well, perhaps … but I felt sweet sixteen.

(Cross-posted on my political humor blog.)