Posts Tagged ‘House & Home’

Open Limerick To Plumbers Everywhere

Monday, April 25th, 2016

Dear plumber, your ass crack ain’t pretty.
To be honest, it’s looking quite gritty.
So we’re begging you: “Please,
“If you’re feeling a breeze,
“Pull your pants up.” — The Owners’ Committee.

April 25 is Hug A Plumber Day.

Hug A Plumber Day? Why?!? (April 25)

Saturday, April 25th, 2015

Hug A Plumber Day? Why?!? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Whenever I deal with a plumber,
It’s rather a strain and a bummer.
As problems keep flowing,
My agita’s growing.
I’ve a leak that’s seen more than one summer.

April 25 is Hug A Plumber Day.

Not “In The Pink” (Limerick)

Monday, June 23rd, 2014

Not “In The Pink” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow would frequently sprawl
On the couch as he cursed at the wall.
How he fumed! His complaint
Was its bright color paint:
“Yummy Pink” was his wife’s tasteless call.

Happy National Pink Day!

Limerick Claim (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, January 6th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman would frequently claim…*

or

A fellow would frequently claim…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Claim
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gambler would frequently claim
That his friends and his spouse were to blame
For his being a louse
And losing his house.
Shifting guilt for misdeeds was his game.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Camp-Free Limerick

Wednesday, June 6th, 2012

Poetic Asides prompts us to write poems about camping. As you can see, I’m not exactly a roughing-it kind of gal:

Camp-Free Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m reluctant to rough it outside.
I need comforts a house can provide.
I’m too timid to camp,
But at home I’m a champ
Where mosquitoes can’t feast on my hide.

Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.

Homing Limerick

Thursday, February 16th, 2012

Poets United prompts us to write a poem about home:

Homing Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I may travel and wander and roam.
For adventure, the streets I may comb.
But wherever I go,
Here’s the one thing I know:
There is nothing and no place like home.

A Limerick To Bear In Mind

Friday, December 16th, 2011

This limerick was inspired by these two news stories:

1) Cable guy finds sleeping bear in NJ basement; and
2) Black bear hitched a ride in garbage truck to downtown Vancouver.

A Limerick To Bear In Mind
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m not shocked that wild bears misbehave.
We’ve been stealing their homes as we pave.
So in cellars they hide
And in garbage trucks ride:
That’s called thinking outside of the cave.

More Squirrel Adventures (Limerick and More)

Thursday, August 18th, 2011

In late March I wrote some verse about our squirrel problem. More specifically, a squirrel that likes snoozing in my upstairs window sill under the AC.

As you can tell from my tanka and limerick, the brazen squirrel refused to be scared off. Sure, it would leave for a while. But just when I thought my squirrel was gone for good, there she was again in my window sill, kept outside only by a thin piece of plexiglass.

Well, guess who had babies:

The Squirrel That Likes To Sleep Next To My Upstairs Window AC Gave Birth To 5 Squirrel Pups In My Window Sill

Methinks it’s time for another squirrely limerick:

Squirrely Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A squirrel gave birth on my sill—
Near my window AC unit’s grill.
Each miniscule pup
(Five in all — two floors up)
Born an inch from my nose — chilling thrill.

Thanks to hubby Mark for snapping that photo.

UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!

Squirrel Limerick (Tanka Too)

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011

From time to time, sundry animals (squirrels, raccoons) find our New York City home alluring. While these incidents provide great fodder for poetry and prose, I could live without them. If only…

Our latest animal invasion involves a stubborn squirrel who has taken up residence in an upstairs window AC — the AC that cools my tiny writing-room. Consequently, Mrs. Squirrel (I fear it’s a she) has become a constant companion.

The good news is that our squirrel nuisance has given birth to two poems — a limerick and a tanka. Both poems were also inspired by Big Tent’s prompt to write about being scared of an animal. (I’m more annoyed than scared, but close enough.)

The limerick pretty much wrote itself, but the tanka was a bigger challenge. Why? Because I felt compelled to use the three words (loud, persuasive, riches) dictated by today’s Three Word Wednesday prompt.

First, my limerick:

Dear Squirrel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Squatter-squirrel, please scat — go away.
This is my house — no wildlife! Okay?
And stop building that nest
In my AC, you pest!
It isn’t a squirrel chalet.

And now my tanka:

Loud screams and clamor
unpersuasive to squirrel,
planting nest riches
under my window AC,
her womb, I fear, rich with life.

(Also posted at I Saw Sunday and Write A Letter Wednesday, which asks for letters to a pet. Once again … close enough.)

Author’s Note: You can find more of my animal humor here and my squirrel humor and verse here.

UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!

Who Needs A Door, Anyway?

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

Mark and I are looking forward to the next heavy rain storm, since we don’t dare hope for a multi-day thaw. And until one or the other happens here in New York City, we won’t be able to use our back door (which opens out) or get into our yard.

My two-verse limerick explains all:

Who Needs A Door, Anyway?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Can’t exit our house from the back,
Cuz the door’s blocked by snowdrifts, alack!
We would shovel it free
If we could, but you see
We’ve no route to that snow we can track.

For the trail to that door’s through the yard.
And clearing that path’s more than hard.
For the yard gate is blocked
From inside, as if locked
By still more snow. Our entry is barred.

Not-So-Clean Limerick

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who hated to clean…

Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Not-So-Clean Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who hated to clean
Was a bach’lor. (You know what I mean.)
His home was a wreck,
Filled with dust-covered dreck.
The mess was quite frankly obscene.

When he took a cute date to his place,
She fled, saying “What a disgrace!
I refuse to date pigs.
Get me out of these digs.
And my phone number? Kindly erase.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Dear Press: Clean Up Your Own Damn Mess!

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

Dear Press: Clean Up Your Own Damn Mess! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

We get headlines each March from the press:
“It’s Spring — Time To Clean Up Your Mess.”
Seems they’re too dumb to know
That we’re still getting snow.
Dear journos, stop giving me stress!

Related Post: Guilt Springs Eternal

Neither High, Nor Dry

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

I understand why buying a car or a home appliance or pricey wine would require some research. But purchasing towels shouldn’t be all that complicated. So why is it that whenever my husband and I buy towels, they suck? Actually the problem is … they don’t suck.

Neither High, Nor Dry (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Our new towels seemed fine at first blush.
They were velvety smooth and so plush.
But they don’t absorb well.
You might say they repel.
Can’t our towels act more like a lush?

Empty Nest (Limerick)

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Empty Nest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was feeling depressed.
(Her syndrome is called “empty nest.”)
Her home was too calm.
She missed being a mom—
Though her spouse “helped” by being a pest.

Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.