Limerick of the Week (95)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A woman had made a long list
Of scents that were hard to resist.
She doused and she sprayed,
But never got laid
Cause a bath was a step she had missed.

Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins the Special New Year’s-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

New Year’s Eve is a time to reflect
On the things we would like to perfect,
So I vow, here and now,
If my lim’ricks don’t wow,
Then at least they will leave you erect.

This week, we have a Facebook Friends’ Choice Award tie between Jane Shelton Hoffman and Craig Dykstra. So congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, whose scent-filled limerick gets this additional recognition. And congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who co-won this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this funny limerick:

The guests had been checked off the list.
Vows were read, bride and groom had been kissed.
Said the priest: “With these kisses,
You’re legally Mrs.
As of now, you are hereby dis-Miss’d.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Konrad Schwoerke, Chris Doyle, Steve Whitred,
Jamie Hutchinson, and Doug Harris. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Colleen Murphy:

A five-year-old read through his list
And noted what Santa had missed:
“No laptop computer,
Nor motorized scooter.”
Then thought, “Does he really exist?”

Konrad Schwoerke:

As Santa was checking his list,
He discovered a thing he had missed.
“Financiers, as a whole,
Should receive only coal.”
Read the latest North Poll — folks are pissed!

Chris Doyle:

Chubby Checker was making a list
Of the groupies he’d more than just kissed.
He grew wistful recalling
One evening of balling–
His very first Peppermint Tryst.

Steve Whitred:

There’s a new actuarial list
For some claims that will soon be dismissed.
In fact, now we are told
The disease “getting old”
Is among those we know pre-exist.

Jamie Hutchinson:

Said a doc, “At the top of my list—
My greatest success, I insist—
Was the time, with my knife,
When I saved a young life
By removing a man from a cyst.”

Doug Harris:

2012 left your body abused –
Cholesterol-ridden and boozed.
Can’t invent evolutions
Of new resolutions?
Use last year’s — still wrapped and un-used!

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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6 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (95)”

  1. Thanks Jane and Johanna, Mad, and everyone else. All the limericks were entertaining and insightful.

  2. Jane Hoffman says:

    Thanks so much! This is a huge honor and a very exciting way to start the day!!!!
    Congrats to all on this list!!!!!

  3. Johanna Richmond says:

    What a great bunch of limericks! I’m honored to see mine surrounded by so much talent! Congratulations, Jane and everyone!

  4. Craig says:

    Congratulation Jane on a double win! Fine work indeed.

  5. Susan says:

    How wonderful the game and this gain: to read a best of page. Congratulations to all! I have a special love for Steve Whitred’s as aging is so much more obviously what I am doing lately! I am so happy to find this humor and keen wit. This year I will be checking in regularly though it will take a while to acquire the skill and longer to hone the intellect. Thank you Madeleine!

  6. madkane says:

    Thanks everyone! And congratulations once again to all the winners!