I hope you enjoy my limericks and other light verse, so I welcome you to my funny poems, limericks, haiku, senryu, tanka, clerihews, framed couplets, cinquains, quaterns, double dactyls, and other humorous poetry by Madeleine Begun Kane.
A Sax Tale "A blowhard musician named Rand
Played sax (not too well) in a band..."
Limerick Affairs "A fellow who had an affair
Got caught by his lovely wife, Claire. ..."
The Tenor Of Our Anniversary "My husband Mark and I had a wonderful time celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary on Friday, June 4th in Manhattan. ..."
Creative Verse "A creative young woman named Ro
Snagged a role in an Off-Broadway show. ..."
American Idol’s Problem … Crystallized "Another American Idol season has come to a close and, once again, the wrong contestant won. Yes, the nervous guy, Lee DeWyze is the new American Idol, besting beating out the far superior singer, Crystal Bowersox. ..."
Romantic Verse "I couldn’t let International Limerick Day go by without posting a new limerick prompt, could I? ..."
Limerick Ode To Edward Lear "Mother’s Day isn’t this week’s only important holiday. What else is there? International Limerick Day, of course, which celebrates the May 12th birthday of Edward Lear. ..."
Chuck Grassley Upchucks Hypocrisy "Senator Chuck Grassley, one of healthcare reform’s most vocal opponents, has outdone himself. He’s now trying to take credit for portions of the Affordable Health Care For America Act, bragging that he authored the good parts. ..."
Et Tu, Dennis? "Big news on the health reform front: Dennis Kucinich caved. ..."
Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick) "J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. ..."
Ode To An Obstructionist "As you undoubtedly know, Senator James Bunning (R-Kentucky) is retiring at the end of the year … and none too soon. Embittered and unstable, Jim Bunning seems determined to inflict as much damage as possible during his final months in office. ..."
Subversive Limerick "South Carolina is a very entertaining state … if you’re into oddball politicians and very strange laws. ..."
Gosh-Darn Pols! " California Assembly’s decree:
The first week of March is “cuss-free.”..."
Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire "I don’t know about you, but I’m getting really tired of this line frequently used by Obama and other pols: 'America can’t afford to let the perfect be the enemy of the good.' ..."
Senator Bayh, Buh Bye! "Senator Evan Bayh (Pretend-Dem-Indiana) has announced that he won’t seek reelection this year. ..."
Fight Firewalls With Kindle "My humorist pal Rose Valenta recently created a Kindle version of her blog and inspired me to do the same. Why? Because many employers are getting strict about web access, blocking employees from reading their favorite blogs and sites ..."
Dear Jay Leno "I’m on Team CoCo, as you can tell from my Conan-Leno talk show wars limerick. ..."
Go, Conan! "A limerick in honor of Conan O’Brien’s Solomon-like decision about the Tonight Show ..."
Shoo, Heels! "I’m short. Five-foot-zero, to be specific. But I never wear heels. Okay, I do have one pair of special-occasion shoes with a one-inch heel. Does that even count? ..."
Ode To The Weatherman "A huge snow storm (perhaps even a blizzard) is about to descend on New York City and has already hit much of the east coast. And that means it’s the weatherman’s time in the sun. ..."
Telling Tiger To Convert Just Ain’t Kosher "Up until now, I’ve avoided writing about Tiger Woods’ serial philandering. But Brit Hume’s outrageous comments leave me no choice. According to Hume, if Tiger Woods wants forgiveness, he must convert from Buddhism to Christianity. ..."
Shameless Republicans On Christmas Attack "Republicans have been treating Nigerian Abdulmutallab’s failed Christmas Day bombing of Flight 253 like a Christmas gift from Al Qaeda — something really juicy to exploit. ..."
Dressing Down The President "Removing the Medicare buy-in from the Senate health reform bill (to appease Senator Lieberman) was the last straw for Howard Dean. Dean says, “Kill the Senate Bill,” and I’m inclined to agree. ..."
“No-Man” Joe "When it comes to health care reform, Joe Lieberman is acting like a petulant baby: “Wah, wah, wah! Dump the public option, or I filibuster. So there!” ..."
Dick Cheney’s Steno Pool "Somebody please explain why the garbage and lies spewed by Richard Cheney are routinely treated like they’re gospel. ..."
Testy Republicans "By now you’ve surely heard about the GOP’s proposed conservative 'purity test,' a ten-point litmus test advocated by James Bopp Jr. and others to weed out party 'undesirables.' ..."
Fraidy-Cat Republicans "According to Republicans, it’s way too dangerous for Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder to try terrorists in federal courts. And that seems just a wee bit odd. ..."
Bowing … And Scraping Bottom "Fox News and all the usual wingnut suspects are simply horrified because President Obama, in a show of diplomatic courtesy, bowed to Emperor Akihito of Japan. ..."
Stupak Stupidity "The Republican National Committee, the wingnutty Focus on the Family, and both groups’ donors are abortion-loving baby killers. Yes, I was shocked too. But it’s true, if you follow the thought process behind the Stupak Amendment to its logical conclusion. ..."
Stewing Over Stupak "This feminist is furious over the abortion-coverage-banning Stupak Amendment to the House health care reform bill. And no, Stupak isn’t a Hyde Amendment-equivalent. It’s the Hyde Amendment on steroids. ..."
Celebrating Sarah "On behalf of my fellow New Yorkers, I want to thank Sarah Palin for her generous gift to the State of New York. Palin’s leadership in driving moderates like Dede Scozzafava out of the Republican party handed New York Democrats a Congressional Seat (District 23) that had eluded Dems for well over a century. ..."
“Short On Facts” Fox "One of the silliest Republican (and Fox News) talking points is that the Democratic health reform bill is too long. ..."
Bystander President? "Recent comments by Sen. Jay Rockefeller and others indicate
that a strong public option could become a reality, if only President Obama stopped being a Bystander President. ..."
The Price Of Facebook Friendship "Are you suffering from Facebook friend envy? Do you have a few hundred spare bucks lying around? Then uSocial, an Australian marketing company, is eager to help you buy thousands of “targeted” Facebook friends and fans and Twitter followers. ..."
Ode To Incivility "What’s with prominent celebrities and pols whose last names begin with “W”? Joe Wilson, Kanye West, and Serena Williams have all made unspeakably rude public asses of themselves during the last few days. ..."
Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans "Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. ..."
Happy Birthday To Me "Friday, September 11th was my birthday — one of those traumatizing, ends-with-zero birthdays. So I told my husband Mark that, unless he wanted me to be a basket case on nine-eleven, he’d better plan something good. ..."
Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak "Newt Gingrich, you’ve got some ’splainin’ to do! Please tell me how someone who has repeatedly railed against bilingualism can launch a bilingual website. ..."
Tantrum Politics "Planning to attend a local town hall meeting about health care reform? Hoping to learn something and to express your opinion? Well, be sure to bring a pair of ear plugs. Because the only thing you’re likely to hear is an enraged, screaming mob. ..."
Our Liberal Media "Steve Benen points out the contrast between the coverage of two abortion-related polls: ..."
Waterloo Lies "The GOP’s spreading big lies
To ensure that our health reform dies ...."
Dear Senator Inhofe "Boohoohoo! Poor, innocent Republicans are being hassled by wingnut birthers — loons who would refuse to believe President Obama was born in the U.S., even if they witnessed his Hawaiian birth themselves. ..."
Kindle Swindle? (3-Verse Limerick)
"Have you noticed your e-book list dwindle?
You’re probably using a Kindle. ..."
Flailin' Palin "Help! I can’t keep those Republican governors straight. For instance, why is Sarah Palin giving up her Alaska Governor gig? Some sort of wildlife scandal involving 'dead fish' and a 'lame duck?' ...”
Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford "South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford shouldn’t resign because he’s an unfaithful, lying, hypocrite … although he’s all that and more. ...”
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy "All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. ...”
Steeley Plan For Health Care "Life would be ever so much easier, if only RNC Chairman Michael Steele had Barack Obama’s gig. For instance, we’d be able to solve our health care problems in a nanosecond. ...”
Pedestrian Plea "There once was a fellow named Mike,
Who was bored while out riding his bike. ...”
Ode To Mark Krikorian "The National Review’s Mark Krikorian is having problems with Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s name. ...”
A Robot Violinist That Plays Better Than Your Kid? (Double Limerick) “I’ve heard some bad violinists in my day … especially back when I substitute-taught elementary school music classes. But amazingly enough, this robot violinist (while lousy, of course) is better than your average fifth grade violin student. ...”
Ben Nelson, DINO … Or Dinosaur? "If you didn’t know Sen. Ben Nelson’s a Democrat, you’d swear he’s a conservative Republican. And that’s why the fantasy of a Frankenized, filibuster-proof Senate is ludicrous. ...”
Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys "The omni-presence of Dick and Liz Cheney on (as Rachel Maddow loves to call it) “the TV machine” is nearly enough to get me to toss out my televisions. ...”
Ode To Tropical Breeze Colonoscopies "It wasn’t bad enough that Sen. Jeff Sessions cited “tropical breezes” in extolling the glories of Gitmo. Now we have Sen. Jim Inhofe bragging about Gitmo’s health care — colonoscopies for inmates over fifty-five. Whoopee! ...”
An Ode To The American Idol Finalists "Since American Idol is one of the few TV shows I watch regularly, I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on the finalists and write a limerick for finalists Kris Allen and Adam Lambert: ...”
Ode To JetBlue “We’re back from a wonderful vacation in Las Vegas. So I thought I’d celebrate our thirteen hour return-flight delay with a limerick: ...”
Ode to Mike “The Poet” Huckabee “I have some new competition in the political poetry arena. Apparently, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee fancies himself a poet and has written an anti-Pelosi screed in the form of a really bad poem called Fancy Nancy. ...”
Ode To Fresh Faces “Republican planning is plain.
They want to rebrand, they explain. ...”
Quaking Over Handshakes “Newsflash via a Republican video ad: Obama is endangering the U.S. by consorting with foreign leaders like Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz. ...”
Karl’s Roving Standards (Double Limerick) “Nothing brings out Republican hypocrisy like a nice, juicy U.S. Supreme Court vacancy. Take Karl Rove, for instance, on Obama’s potential nominees to replace Justice David Souter: ...”
Secession? Did I Say Secession? "For such a fan of secession, Texas Gov. Rick Perry sure is quick to ask for federal bucks. Hurricane disaster assistance? Check. Antiviral medications to combat swine flu? Check. ...”
Fox Pundits At Sea “Fox News “pundit” rants always look foolish, especially when they’re packed with gleeful predictions of Democratic failures. And most especially when their predictions turn out to be dramatically wrong. ...”
Dogged Journalism “At long last, we have an answer to these burning questions: What kind of dog will Obama get daughters Malia and Sasha, and when will he get it? ...”
Republican Road To Remedial Math “I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed the House Republicans’ number-free budget. And I’m looking forward to the expanded version they’ve promised for next week — the one that won’t have any letters in it either. ...”
Ode To AP's Ron Fournier “After President Obama’s outstanding performance during his second primetime press conference, the AP’s Ron Fournier had some column inches to fill. So, what words of wisdom did he share in his 'news analysis'? Obama really 'likes to have [his words] up on the Teleprompter.' ...”
Email Swiped From Dick Cheney's In-Box “Some Republicans think Dick Cheney’s making things worse for their party. Don’t believe me? Here’s an email I managed to swipe from Cheney’s in-box: ...”
Ode To The Laughter-Police “I could have sworn that Obama’s 60 Minutes interview was both serious and informative. But I guess that’s what happens when you watch something yourself, instead of relying on press accounts. ...”
Fuming About Hume “What delicious irony — Brit Hume bitching about blogger partisanship. ...”
Ode To The Easily Offended “President Obama was witty and entertaining on last night’s Leno appearance, and what’s the upshot? He’s forced to apologize for a self-deprecating, throwaway line comparing his bowling performance to the Special Olympics. ...”
Tough Negotiators, Those Bushies! “I practiced law for over a dozen years and negotiated lots of contracts. And, unlike the Bush administration, I always kept my poker face. Why? Because if you want the best possible deal, you must make the other party think that he needs you more than you need him. ...”
Dear Boss, Where’s My Bonus? “The AIG bonus fiasco has been very enlightening. Giving incompetent employees huge bonuses, so they won’t resign? And with taxpayer cash yet? What a concept! ...”
Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters! “The Bush-Cheney spinmeisters refuse to go away. Last week it was Ari Fleischer, and this week it’s Dana Perino on CSPAN’s Washington Journal. ...”
Ode To Ari Fleischer “The stream of deceit that came pouring out of Ari Fleischer’s belligerent mouth during his Chris Matthews’ interview must surely have set some sort of record. ...”
Ode To Roland Burris “The (I hope) soon-to-be-ex-Senator Roland Burris is quite the word weasel, isn’t he? So I thought I’d join the calls for his resignation with my latest limerick: ...”
Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long? “I can’t decide whether Bret Stephens is nuts or just a really bad satirist. I’m referring to his Wall Street Journal column entitled Obama’s Charm Isn’t Working Wonders Abroad, in which he recites a litany of foreign policy problems and wonders why Obama hasn’t solved them all yet. After all, it’s been twenty-one whole days! ...”
Valentine's Day Verse (Limerick & Haiku)
“St. Valentine’s Day’s coming soon.
It’s a choc’late and rose-sellers’ boon. ...”
Wall Street Woes “I shudder when opening mail,
And my sinking accounts make me wail. ...”
D.C. Snow Job “Life in Washington, D.C. must be great! Otherwise, the D.C. Council would surely have better things to do than passing laws that require drivers to remove snow from their cars. ...”
Only Peons Have To Pay Taxes “First Tim Geithner, and now Tom Daschle. Anyone else getting tired of rich, powerful people failing to pay taxes, saying “Oops! Sorry! My bad!” and getting away with it? ...”
Caffeinated Verse (Limerick)
“I’ve rarely been tempted by tea,
And coffee does nothing for me. ...”
Dental Verse “I think I’m becoming unglued —
Not my mind, but a cap caught on food. ...”
Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives “Once again, the media is debating the purported death of irony. Nine-eleven killed it the last time, and this year’s culprit is Barack Obama. Lucky for humorists (and their readers), irony apparently has a cat-like nine lives. ...”
Dear Bush, Doesn’t Your Brush Need Clearing? “Like The New York Times’ Gail Collins and so many others, I think Bush and Cheney need to take early retirement. Otherwise, by the time Obama is president, there won’t be anything left to preside over. ...”
Is GOP Idiocy Real, Or Is It Memorex? "What on earth is the matter with Republicans like Rep. Michelle Bachmann and Rep. Robin Hayes? Not only do they say insane things, but they deny saying them, as if recording devices had never been invented. ...”
Memory Limerick (Limerick)
“Whenever I meet someone new,
I use memory tricks till I’m blue. ...”
Ode To David Frum "David Frum, infamous for fathering (or at least taking credit for fathering) the phrase “Axis of Evil,” took on the wrong person last night. I’m referring, of course, to Rachel Maddow. ..."
Sarah In Wonderland "A bipartisan legislative panel in Alaska finds Sarah Palin guilty of abusing her executive power. So is Palin contrite? Hahahahaha! ...”
Team Of Liars (Limerick)
“The McCain/Palin team now is rife
With liars, including John’s wife. ...”
Dear “Everyday Working Class” Sarah "How many 'everyday, working-class Americans' do you know who own 'a single-engine plane, two boats, two personal watercraft and a half-million-dollar, custom-built home on a lake…'”?
Did The Dog Eat John McCain’s Debate Notes? "The guy who almost never shows up for Senate votes, is apparently planning to swoop into Washington, fix our fiscal crisis and, only then, resume campaigning and debate. ...”
Bailin' On Palin? "How nice that John McCain is finally getting around to vetting his temper-tantrum-inspired, Lieberman/Ridge-rebound Veep pick. ..."
Sarah Who??? "Sarah Palin For Veep? I knew John McCain and his Rovian puppet masters were cynical, but this takes the cake. ..."
Engagement Bling (Limerick)
“I’m engaged,” said the gal to her mom.
“I’m in love and I’m marrying Tom. ...”
Kristol-izing Feminism "So Bill Kristol’s a feminist. Who knew? Yes, William Kristol, Republican con man, is oh so terribly concerned about the glass ceiling perpetuated by Barack Obama when he chose Joe Biden for his running mate, denying Hillary Clinton her shot at Veep. ..."
Media Sheep "McCain’s a straight talker.
Ignore all his lying.
Obama is pompous.
He’s humble? Not buying!
That’s the agreed-upon narrative. See? ..."
Musical Discord "'Your playing is way out of tune,'
The conductor informed the bassoon. ..."
A Humorist’s Lament "By now, everyone’s surely seen Barry Blitt’s New Yorker cover, depicting Barack Obama as a flag-burning, bin Laden-loving, fist-bumping Muslim. Intended to satirize “The Politics of Fear,” the image is being widely criticized as reinforcing the very stereotypes it seeks to mock. ..."
My Family Needs Me (Limerick and Video -- Read It or Watch It) "I’m always amused when politicians and other public figures get into legal hot water and develop a sudden urge to spend more time with their family. ..."
Why Are These Journalists Smiling? (Limerick) "I’ve noticed that many reporters and talking heads are almost giddy over Hillary Clinton’s recent stumbles and the rumored return of Barack Obama’s mojo. ..."
First Pakistan And Then... (Haiku) "While Bush and Cheney are busily threatening World War 3 over of Iran’s potential future nuclear threat, ..."
"'A charge account’s wrong to its core,'
Said the dad, who paid cash at each store. ..."
Ode To Our Petulant Prez (Limerick) "George Bush has been sounding extra whiney lately. The poor guy! Those abusive Dems have been torturing him, giving him a mere 98% of what he asks for. ..."
Problem Poetry (Limerick)
"'Your verses belong in the can,'
Said the prof to a man. “They don’t scan. ...'"
Heckofajob, Karen! (Haiku) "So Karen Hughes has resigned from her job to 'promote America’s values ...'"
The Joys Of Winter (Limerick)
"It was windy and snowy. I stumbled.
Then I fell and my keys and phone tumbled ..."
The Poetry Of Rudy Giuliani "Did you know that Rudy Giuliani is a poet? Me neither. So I was really surprised to unearth the poetry of Rudy Giuliani. Here are six poems I found in the Rudy Reader: ..."
Message To Obama: Hammer! Don't Stammer! (Haiku) "This is starting to get silly. It seems like every other day, Barack Obama promises to bolster his lagging poll numbers by changing his campaign style and getting tough on Hillary Clinton. ..."
Pondering Condi "Condi Rice’s testimony this past week, in which she belligerently defended the State Department’s work in Iraq, was her first appearance before a Democratically-controlled House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. True to form, she blamed everything but the Bush’s many administration failures for the problems in Iraq: ..."
Me Gamble? No Dice! (Limerick)
"You should never play cards on a lark
With a Vegas-style card-wielding shark. ..."
Bridling At A Question (Limerick)
"At his question, I’m fit to be tied
Cuz it comes from left field. I must hide! ..."
Fishing For Company "I’m an insomniac and I must admit to taking a bit of solace at learning from a podcast that 'zebrafish - a common aquarium pet - can have a genetic mutation linked to sleep problems.' ..."
Mad Kane's Gone Mobile, And So Can You "There’s good news for the on-the-run multitasker: Mad Kane’s gone mobile, so both of my blogs can be read on cell phones. And there’s even more good news — it’s easy to set up. How? I’ll tell you where to go … but first, a limerick: ..."
Spam Haiku "Sometimes spam frustrates me so much, that I’m forced to turn it into haiku. How do I do it? I simply mix and match phrases from various annoying email solicitations and turn them into Spam Haiku. Here are some examples: ..."
Some Dishy Verse (Limerick)
"We’re discussing our favorite dish,”
Said the gal. “Please chime in if you wish. ..."
Petraeus and Crocker Face Hume Humiliation "I had to laugh when I heard about Brit Hume’s exclusive Fox interview with General David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker “about the state of the Iraq war and their testimony to Congress.” What’s the matter — wasn’t Hannity available? ..."
Mustachioed Men -- Downtrodden Minority? "Is the American Mustache Institute (AMI) for real? When I first read about it, I figured it must surely be fictitious. Either that … or John Bolton’s new employer. ..."
Bulletproof Backpacks: In Case Your Kid’s Classmate Is Packing "It’s mid-August, which means back-to-school day is just around the corner. And that in turn means it’s time to start shopping for school supplies: rulers and notebooks and pens and lunch boxes and calculators and computers and school clothes and … bulletproof backpacks??? ..."
Dirty White House Complains About Gonzales "Mud" "Poor Alberto Gonzales! During those countless (and fruitless) Congressional hearings, Gonzales had but one job — protect George Bush. And so he lied, obfuscated, feigned amnesia, and did everything he could to muddy the truth. ..."
This Doesn't Pass The Smell Test "According to this odd story, a smoking ban in British pubs has managed to make British bars smell even worse. Apparently, the acrid smell of smoke is a delight compared to all the foul odors smoke used to mask: “stale food and beer, damp, sweat and body odour, drains and - how do you put this nicely - flatulence. ..."
Yet Another Snow Job? "I wasn’t surprised to hear that Tony Snow plans to leave his Bush spokesperson gig when his “money runs out,” and possibly as early as September. ..."
The Five-Second What??? "I guess I must have led a very sheltered existence. Why do I say that? Because I’d never heard the phrase “five-second rule” until my husband Mark used it as an excuse to eat some treat he’d just dropped on the floor. (And yes, we’re still married.) ..."
Chinese Exports — The Real Poop (Limerick) "I was a bit grossed out to learn that “The Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base has come up with a dung-for-profit scheme that turns droppings from the endangered species into odour-free souvenirs ranging from bookmarks to Olympic-themed statues… .”
A Lamb On The Lam "I couldn’t resist writing a limerick about the seven-month-old lamb that escaped a live-animal market in The Bronx, New York and led police on a several block chase before it was captured. ..."
Married To Money (Limerick)
“He’s a cheapskate, so stingy with cash,
That he threw an embarrassing bash: ..."
School Daze (Limerick)
“I crammed for the test—studied madly.
But, alas, I’m afraid I did badly ..."
Bloody Hell, It'll Be Bloody "That great seer, soothsayer, and visionary George Bush predicted Thursday that August may be a bloody month in Iraq: ..."
Chance Meeting (Wedding Anniversary Limerick "My wonderful husband Mark and I are celebrating our 29th wedding anniversary today. Happy anniversary Mark! This limerick is my gift to you. (How’s that for getting off cheap?) ..."
Bugged By Mosquitos (Limerick)
“Mosquitos are driving me mad.
Seems a zillion are biting me—bad! ..."
Captured By CAPTCHA "If you’ve ever registered for a site or an email list, you’re surely familiar with those frustrating anti-spam CAPTCHA forms. ..."
No Sweat Divorce (Limerick)
“'My husband and I are estranged,'
Said the wife, 'cause he acts so deranged'. ..."
Yet Another American Idol Limerick "As regular readers know, watching American Idol is one of my guilty pleasures. But it sure wasn’t much of a pleasure last week, when mellifluous Melinda was sent packing and Blake wasn’t: ..."
ADD Ode (Limerick)
“Hey, doc, have I got ADD?
My attention span’s short as can be. ..."
Keeping Abreast Of Bras (Limerick)
"There are gals who view bras as a gift,
For without ‘em their breasts are adrift. ..."
Bush's Iraq Strategy: Here ... Catch "President Codpiece celebrated “Mission Accomplished” day by vetoing the Iraq war spending bill. Why turn down money he’s just dying to get his grubby hands on? Cause those mean Dems are trying to make him end the war some time during his Presidency. ..."
Bandwidth Blues "“I’ve no bandwidth for that,” some folks say.
It’s their style of responding, “No way! ..."
Ode To The Lame GOP Gang Of Eleven "Please forgive me for not being all that impressed with the Republican Gang of Eleven, who supposedly hammered George Bush about Iraq and had the 'most unvarnished conversation they’ve ever had with the president.' ..."
Ode To Judy Carmichael, Stride Pianist "I live in New York City, so my husband Mark and I often catch great musical acts, plays, art shows, and other entertainment and cultural diversions in the Big Apple. ..."
Sleepless In Geekdom (Limerick)
"My husband’s a super-smart geek
Who’s on overnight call once a week. ..."
Doggone Limerick "“It’s so cute!” said the child, with delight.
“You can’t have it,” said Mom. “Puppies bite. ..."
Merchants Of Hype "On April 1, 2007 U.S. Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham held a press conference in Iraq, in which Sen. Graham rhapsodized about buying “five rugs for five bucks” in a Baghdad marketplace. ..."
Yet Another Tax Filing Limerick "I’m afraid I can’t stop writing tax return limericks — probably because it’s a lot more fun than actually working on my tax return. ..."
Truth On The Lam "Rachel Maddow has an update on Orrin Hatch’s smear campaign against Carol Lam, the U.S. Attorney for San Diego who was recently fired by the Justice Department. ..."
Give Me A Break! (Limerick)
"The play was quite talky and lacked
Something crucial. It had but one act. ..."
Tacky Verse (Limerick)
"These armchairs are tacky and lack
Sound support for my weary old back. ..."
Ode To Unselfishness (Limerick)
"My husband is great—good as gold.
And there’s no one more giving, all told. ..."
Form 1040 Blues (Limerick)
"There’s a tax form that makes me irate:
Form 1040, a long form I hate..."
Collegiate Conversation (Limerick)
"“Tell me, why are you being so mean?”
Cried the girl to the college’s dean. ..."
Stop Yelling!!!!!!!!!! (Limerick)
"Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame. ..."
Why I Won’t Use What’s-Her-Name’s Name Anymore "Here’s a good story about the hate-filled, bigoted venom directed at John Edwards, which was recently spewed by a person whose name I will no longer mention, because it only encourages her. ..."
Amusing Wine (Limerick)
"When experts say wine is amusing,
It’s a compliment. Ain’t that confusing? ..."
Tasty Verse (Limerick)
"There are folks who like food rather bland,
Where all trace of flavor’s been banned. ..."
A Biting Limerick (Limerick)
"'Ow! My tooth aches,' a man told the nurse,
Whose answer was biting and terse: ..."
I Guess They Miss The “Good Old Days” "This weekend’s Senate session reminds me of the fuss Republicans made when Senator Reid and Speaker Pelosi imposed a substantially longer work week on Congress. Some even argued that the imposition of a 5-day work week proved that Democrats are anti-family. ..."
To Be Honest... "“In all candor” prepares me for lies
When it’s said by political guys. ..."
Blogroll Scrooges Must Be Punished "Some major bloggers (most prominently Atrios/Eschaton and Kos) have recently instituted a blogroll purge, eliminating, for the most part, all but the usual suspects. And to add insult to injury, they referred to it in Orwellian fashion as 'Blogroll Amnesty Day.' ..."
Ode To Little John Warner "You just have to love it: Senator John Warner helped kill the debate on Bush’s surge, voting to block a vote on his own Warner-Levin Iraq War Resolution: ..."
Ode To The Great Molly Ivins "Alas, the magnificent Molly Ivins has died. To call her a great wit and outstanding journalist would be an understatement. She has always been an inspiration to me and to every other liberal I know who tries to write political satire. ..."
Open Sesame (Limerick)
"Why on earth are CDs packed so tight?
You can’t hear them without a huge fight. ..."
Mess? What Mess? "From Dub’s State of the Union address,
Who would guess that our nation’s a mess? ..."
Marriage Catch (Limerick)
"Said the fellow, 'I need some advice.
Tell me how I can catch me some mice, ...'"
Bush’s Surge Speech: A Mad Preview "Another Bush war speech is on the horizon. Oh, goody! Actually, I’m not sure I’ll be able to force myself to watch next week’s speech, in which Bush is expected to announce a politically motivated “surge and accelerate plan.” But I’ve heard enough Bush speeches to sum this one up in a limerick, without even seeing it: ..."
Musical Faux Pas "The solo violist played well,
With strong bowing, tone clear as a bell. ..."
Bush On The Couch; Dub On The Divan "Justin A. Frank, M.D., author of “Bush on the Couch,” makes a convincing case that George W. Bush is a sociopath in this fascinating Buzzflash interview. ..."
I'm Not Bowled Over By Bowling "The last time I went bowling, I aimed my ball so badly, it went flying diagonally and landed in a neighboring lane. (On the other hand, I’m not half-bad at Wii-Bowling.) ..."
Ode To The Bar Exam (Limerick)
"'I’m worried I won’t pass the bar,'
Cried the would-be attorney (no star). ..."
Antique Antics (Limerick)
"Is this lampshade antique or just old?
They tell me it’s rare. I’m not sold. ..."
Frist And Hastert Rediscover The Constitution "Frist and Hastert don't care if the Bush administration invades the privacy of ordinary citizens. Nor do they seem bothered by the Executive branch's brazen power grab, evidenced by Bush's "de facto veto" signing statements, Congressional oversight avoidance, and sundry law breaking. But just let the Justice Department mess with one of their own..."
Tabloid Times "It's only May 2006, and the New York Times is already doing trashy, tabloid-style coverage of the Clintons. What's the matter, New York Times? You didn't have a juicy Iran-war-inducing story to plant on your cover page? ..."
Sleeper VEEP "There once was a GOP VEEP
Who in meetings fell soundly asleep..."
4 Sam Alito Limericks "There once was a judge named Alito,
Who's often called Judge Sam Scalito.
He's fond of state powers.
At labor he glowers..."
Fitzmas Madness (Poem about pre-Plamegate indictment anxiety)
"I keep scanning the Net
For some news from Pat Fitz.
If he don't indict soon,
I may go on the fritz..."
The Judy Miller Quartet (of Limericks) (Four limericks about Judy Miller, The New York Times and the Plamegate investigation)
"Ms. Miller has written her tale,
And as tales go, it's rather a whale.
Her memory's convenient,
On Libby she's lenient..."