This Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test

According to this odd story, a smoking ban in British pubs has managed to make British bars smell even worse.  Apparently, the acrid smell of smoke is a delight compared to all the foul odors smoke used to mask: “stale food and beer, damp, sweat and body odour, drains and – how do you put this nicely – flatulence.”

So what’s the solution?  You might think cleaning supplies would be in order. But you would be wrong.  Instead, they’re pumping perfume into 2000 pubs — the essence of  “leather, freshly cut grass, and ocean breeze fragrances.”

This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?

This Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The stench of Brit pubs once was hidden
By smoke, but now smoking’s forbidden,
And since folks can’t abide
The foul odor, they hide
It with pumped-in-perfume.  I’m not kiddin’.

(You can find more of my food and drink limericks and humor here.)

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6 Responses to “This Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test”

  1. JayneM says:

    LMAO…. this is really disturbing. And I used to hate coming home from a pub with my hair smelling like smoke… ugh.

    Love the limmerick.

    Pass the pine-sol!

  2. Blogging for Bitter Women » Blog Archive says:

    […] When visiting MAD KANE recently, I read this article about how Brits smell WORSE when they aren’t smoking.  Seriously.  She wrote a limerick about it that shouldn’t be missed. […]

  3. Lori Magno says:

    That is a seriously fab limerick about a disgusting problem. Freshly cut grass – how utterly funny!

  4. madkane says:

    Thanks, everyone!

  5. SingForHim @ Real Life says:

    I read that they were actually spraying smoke smell spray so the pub visitors would feel more at home!

  6. madkane says:

    LOL! SingForHim. That wouldn’t surprise me!