The Brits really know how to celebrate poetry.
Limerick Ode To UK’s National Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hear tell that today has cachet
In Great Britain — immeas’rable sway.
With much rhyme and good reason
They deem it high treason
Not to celebrate Poetry Day.
I wish I were making this London singles event up, but apparently not:
You like pub crawls? Then here’s some great news
For singles who care about loos
And do not mind their scent:
There’s a singles event—
Toilet dates. I’d prefer just the booze.
I’ve gotten several emails and Facebook messages asking me why I haven’t written a limerick or haiku about the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Here’s your answer:
It’s Royally Over!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ve no int’rest in all the ado
Over wedding fetes royal. So sue!
I don’t care if some Brit
Who’s a prince will commit
To a commoner. Boring! So shoo!
According to this odd story, a smoking ban in British pubs has managed to make British bars smell even worse. Apparently, the acrid smell of smoke is a delight compared to all the foul odors smoke used to mask: “stale food and beer, damp, sweat and body odour, drains and – how do you put this nicely – flatulence.”
So what’s the solution? You might think cleaning supplies would be in order. But you would be wrong. Instead, they’re pumping perfume into 2000 pubs — the essence of “leather, freshly cut grass, and ocean breeze fragrances.”
This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?
This Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The stench of Brit pubs once was hidden
By smoke, but now smoking’s forbidden,
And since folks can’t abide
The foul odor, they hide
It with pumped-in-perfume. I’m not kiddin’.
(You can find more of my food and drink limericks and humor here.)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
