Archive for the ‘Addiction Humor’ Category

My Puzzling Complaint (Limerick)

Monday, April 1st, 2024

My Dear Times: I am irked and irate
Cuz Connections and Wordle are great!
And they’ve caused my affliction,
A puzzling addiction.
Kindly STOP using word games as bait!

Yet Another “Connections” Limerick

Monday, September 18th, 2023

There are times I feel smart as a whip,
Even savvy, and “with it,” and hip.
But for THAT I must score
A “Connections” game “four.”
Doing worse means I’m losing my grip.

Connecting With “Connections.” (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 19th, 2023

The New York Times has given me yet another addiction: Attempting to solve “Connections” every midnight:

I am hooked on a puzzling new game
Called Connections; the Times is to blame.
“Create four groups of four”
Is the goal. Simple chore?
No, I often flame out, to my shame.

My Quarter-Year Resolution (Limerick)

Friday, April 1st, 2022

I am tired of meter and rhyming!
I have HAD it with assonant timing!
No more lim’ricks! I’m done!
My new way to have fun
Will be something outdoorsy — rock climbing.

My Latest Addiction (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022

Please help! I’m addicted to word games.
One might argue that some are absurd games.
I also play cards,
But (like linguists and bards)
Prefer verbal brain-teasers — my nerd games.

Is Rhyming Addictive? (Limerick)

Friday, January 14th, 2022

When I dream up a rhyme, I must grab it.
I will break up my sleep, just to nab it.
In the midst of a shower,
I’ll write “whiskey sour.” —
Can’t conquer this powerful habit.

Self-Assessment (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 27th, 2021

At athletics I’m sorely pathetic.
I’m noetic; I guess it’s genetic.
Writing rhyme’s more my speed.
Lim’ricks rule! That’s my creed —
My addictive aesthetic poetic.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: COP at the end of any one line

Sunday, January 8th, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using COP at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to the blues, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best blues-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 22, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 21, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

“I’m compelled to write lim’ricks. Can’t stop!
“I keep popping out rhymes till I drop.
“When I drive they continue
“To spew from each sinew…”
“What a screwball excuse!” said the cop.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

What I Do When Facebook Is Down (Limerick)

Monday, September 28th, 2015

During Facebook’s outage today, I was reduced to posting this limerick on Twitter:

#Facebookdown so I’ve come here 2 Tweet
& nobody takes a backseat
2 my posting addiction,
A dreadful affliction.
My FB surrender’s complete.

(“2” instead of “to,” “FB” instead of “Facebook,” and “&” instead of “and” all done in order to comply with Twitter’s 140-character limit.)

Just One More… (Limerick)

Thursday, May 14th, 2015

I’m attempting to check my temptation
To engage in non-stop rhyme creation.
“Buckle down,” my muse cries.
“Make them chuckle! Revise!”
Quick demise to my lim’rick vacation.

Happy Limerick Day (and Edward Lear’s Birthday) (May 12)

Tuesday, May 12th, 2015

My lim’rick obsession’s severe;
I write rhymes night and day ev’ry year.
My addiction is brutal.
Resistance is futile…
And I warrant the fault lies with Lear.

Happy birthday, Edward Lear, and Happy Limerick Day!

Kick Butts Day Limerick

Wednesday, March 18th, 2015

Today, March 18, is Kick Butts Day.

Kick Butts Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Today is the day to kick butts.
No ifs, ands, or buts — smoking’s nuts!
For the cig rut’s a yoke
That can kill you — no joke!
So though quitting’s a drag, show some guts.

I’m Not Hooked On This Patent (Limerick)

Thursday, November 7th, 2013

Here’s an invention we could have done nicely without: On November 7, 1876, the cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by Albert H. Hook.

I’m Not Hooked On This Patent (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A patent that now seems obscene
For the cigarette making machine
Has a birthday today.
Albert Hook paved the way,
Hooking people on cigs to make green.

Those Smashing French Language Police (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

The French are at it again:

Those Smashing French Language Police (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Le Binge Drinking’s” been outlawed in France.
They’re maintaining a very strict stance–
Not against all that drinking.
No! What were you thinking?
It’s their “dump English verbiage” dance.

A new phrase that has Frenchified grace
Must henceforth be used to replace
Such Anglicized words,
Discarded like turds:
“Beuverie express” — drink at fast pace.

Stop Smoking, Already! (Limerick)

Thursday, May 30th, 2013

Here’s a limerick to celebrate World No Tobacco Day. (May 31st)

Stop Smoking, Already!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please stop smoking already. Don’t dicker.
Tobacco will end your life quicker.
Have a heart, as I air
This advice, cuz I care:
Be kind to your lungs and your ticker.

Limerick Ode To Espresso & Cappuccino

Friday, November 23rd, 2012

I was alarmed to learn that I missed National Cappuccino Day on November 8th. Then again, every day is Cappuccino Day in my house. (If I didn’t have my own machine, I could never afford my cappuccino habit.)

But all is not lost: Today, November 23rd, is National Espresso Day.

Close enough.

Limerick Ode To Espresso & Cappuccino
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Espresso alone doesn’t please me.
You must add something more to appease me:
Steamed milk, lots of foam,
And you’re just about home.
Just make sure it’s not bitter. Don’t tease me!

Prone Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, December 4th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A guy who was frequently prone…

or

A gal who was frequently prone…

Here’s mine:

Prone Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A guy who was frequently prone
To gamble with cash from a loan,
Dealt with lenders who whack
When you don’t pay them back.
Now he’s prone in cement, grave unknown.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

I Blame Edward Lear!

Thursday, May 12th, 2011

I Blame Edward Lear! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who loves to write verse
Has bits of it stuffed in her purse.
She frets about rhyme
Nearly all of the time.
She’s addicted, for better or worse.

Happy Birthday, Edward Lear! And Happy Limerick Day, May 12th!

You can find more National Limerick Day celebration limericks here and here.

Some Fun With Facebook’s Outage

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

The movie about Facebook, The Social Network, has been getting a ton of publicity this week. So I wonder if Facebook’s outages today were caused by the extra publicity, or just an unfortunate coincidence.

Of course I immediately went into Facebook withdrawal and wrote this pair of haiku:

I think Facebook’s down.
Where to go to confirm this?
On Twitter, of course.

and

Facebook back — Hurray!
Have I cheered prematurely?
So Twitter tells me.

Caffeinated Limerick

Friday, September 3rd, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Caffeinated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
He’s addicted, alas, to the bean.
Not to coffee or tea—
Cappuccino, you see,
Is his weakness, at prices obscene.

As his drinks climb past five bucks a pop,
He keeps trying and failing to stop.
He decided last week
It was high time to seek
A solution — went online to shop.

As he browsed. he found makers galore
At an Internet kitchenware store.
So he bought one — now brews
His own drinks — he can’t lose,
Although now he is credit card poor.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)