Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: COP at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using COP at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to the blues, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best blues-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 22, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 21, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

“I’m compelled to write lim’ricks. Can’t stop!
“I keep popping out rhymes till I drop.
“When I drive they continue
“To spew from each sinew…”
“What a screwball excuse!” said the cop.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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71 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: COP at the end of any one line”

  1. David Reddekopp says:

    Here’s one I wrote a few years ago:

    A criminal’s kill count increased
    In an area strongly policed
    Since he, hearing the cop
    As he hollered out “Stop!”
    Did not cease or desist, he’s deceased.

  2. David Reddekopp says:

    There once was a frisky old fop
    For a whore he decided to shop
    So this horny old heel
    First tried copping a feel
    ‘Til he found he was feeling a cop.

  3. David Reddekopp says:

    ‘Twas a fight that he knew he would lose
    On his eye he is boasting a bruise
    So I feel for this fellow
    Although he’s not yellow
    He’s feeling the blacks and the blues.

  4. David Reddekopp says:

    I’m feeling quite down in the dumps
    American voters are chumps
    So in 2020
    (Four years will be plenty)
    Please don’t elect any more Trumps.

  5. Mary mcgarvey says:

    Oakland’s picked a brand new top
    Hope she can make all gang crime stop.
    But the D A says, “oh well,
    They sit in prison a spell,
    It’s so cruel!” Out the weasel does pop.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    The blonde was patrolling the shop.
    “Police!” she cried.”Hey, mister, stop!
    You’re under arrest
    For stealing a vest.”
    “Ya got me,” he said, “a fair cop.”

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    The Donald is eager to cop
    A quick feel. Do you think he will stop
    Once he’s Prez? With a crop
    Of young interns who’ll bop,
    He’ll enjoy all the sweets in the shop.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    (an old one revised)

    The hooker decided to troll
    For a customer out for a stroll,
    But the guy was a cop,
    So he got a free pop.
    In return, he won’t bust her parole.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    The Republicans used to be blue
    And the Democrats red. So what’s new?
    With the Democrats dead
    And Republicans red,
    We are all feeling blue through and through.

  10. Richard Campbell says:

    Got stopped by a Limerick cop.
    “Your license I fear I must lop.
    I can see you’ve been striving,
    But now? Careless driving
    You left off the fourth line’s full stop.”

  11. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Sergeant Clancy, the neighborhood cop
    Rode a horse that went “clippety-clop.”
    But the horse went too far
    And got hit by a car.
    The poor steed never learned how to stop!

  12. Tim James says:

    If you suffer sometimes from the blues
    Don’t try drugs, promiscuity, booze.
    Take a tip from my wife:
    For those low points in life,
    Nothing helps like a new pair of shoes.

  13. Dave Johnson says:

    With fright-wingers spouting their views,
    I’m backing away from the news.
    At least I can boast
    I’m on the left coast;
    ‘Cause red states just give me the blues.

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    The report on the rookie said “DROP.
    He is strangely reluctant to pop
    Any innocent blacks.
    We believe that he lacks
    What it takes to become a good cop.”

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    Car 54, we need a cop!
    Big Blkyn fight, that just won’t stop!
    A Harlem traffic jam.
    All the way to Queens! Damn!
    Find missing kid; give lollypop!

  16. Judith H. Block says:

    It seems we need more than a cop
    To see Trump’s HUGE plans and yell, “STOP!”.
    Headed for disaster,
    Moving even faster.
    For us to survive, he must flop.

  17. Judith H. Block says:

    My favorite color is blue,
    For gloves, or a hat, or a shoe.
    Or sweater, or dress.
    And I must confess,
    My hair is now streaked with blue, too.

  18. Judith H. Block says:

    The creep just passed on the right,
    He cut me off, gave me a fright!
    Wish I were a cop,
    I’d make that guy stop!
    And ticket him, what a delight!

  19. Judith H. Block says:

    A guy cut me off with his pass,
    His action was dangerous; crass.
    Wish I were a cop,
    I’d make that guy stop,
    And gleefully ticket his ass.

  20. Brian Allgar says:

    There’s a piece that I cannot sit through:
    Gershwin’s ‘Rhapsody’ I must eschew.
    I’d have liked it, I think,
    In Yellow or Pink,
    But why did he write it in Blue?

  21. Richard Campbell says:

    All my life, fate has thrown me the screws.
    All that helps now is drugs, broads, and booze.
    Don’t get up before noon;
    Drift saloon to saloon.
    I sure got me them old 12-bar blues.

  22. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Little bars where the band plays the blues
    Are a great place to drink or just schmooze.
    But if you’re gonna drive
    And get back home alive,
    You had better go light on the booze.

  23. Ken Gosse says:

    (a Limerick of a darker color)
    His Was the Smallest Role ~
    Watched a movie that ends with a Cop,
    And a broken man who had to stop
    A lynch mob, and he knew
    Just what he had to do.
    ’39 Mice and Men, you can’t top.

  24. Mary McGarvey says:

    The chorus line girls go—they gallop!
    Their legs swing high,then kerplop!
    They dance to a tune
    That maybe, quite soon,
    Will get all the johns stopped by a cop.

  25. Mary McGarvey says:

    He moaned and he groaned when he lost
    He knew what all his campaign had cost.
    He sang the Hilary blues
    About paying party dues.
    But an old Red just does as he’s bossed.

  26. Sue Dulley says:

    A limerick’s not like the Blues
    No, a limerick’s not…… I can’t use
    The same words for line two
    As line one. If I do
    It’s a ruse Mad won’t choose to excuse.

  27. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    While selling my lucrative crop,
    A policeman enjoined me to stop.
    “Sure, I know it’s legit,
    But you soon won’t have shit,
    And I must be off duty to cop.”

  28. Tom Harris says:

    Well, it seems my once faithful muse
    Has decided now to abuse
    This kindly old scribe,
    Who cannot describe
    How that babe left me singing the blues.

  29. Jesse Levy says:

    (Re-submitting with a slight change to line 4)

    A broom and his buddy, a mop
    Decided that all crime should stop
    The broom did quiet well
    Swept out crim’nals pell mell
    But the mop was a flop as a cop.

  30. Tom Harris says:

    The spastic and oft drunk old yegg
    Now cannot crack even an egg.
    His one friend’s a cop
    Who’s really a slop,
    But he’ll buy him beer should he beg.

  31. Jesse Levy says:

    (Final reworking, I hope)

    A broom and his buddy, a mop
    Decided that all crime should stop
    The broom did quite well
    Swept out felons pell mell
    But the mop was a flop as a cop.

  32. Ken Gosse says:

    (I’ve been called to Jury Duty – my 8th time – in January)
    Who Ya Gonna Blame? ~
    Throughout history, crime never stops,
    And who do we call on? The Cops.
    Trial by Jury Duty
    Makes most of us moody:
    We’re guilty if justice flip-flops.

  33. Jesse Levy says:

    For thousands of years the Jews
    Have worn out their traveling shoes
    Always being chased
    From this to that place
    Sure gave them the Vagabond Blues.

  34. Mary McGarvey says:

    Watch out while driving for a fake cop.
    They flag cars down and do a total fake stop.
    The badge they flash is fake.
    They’re simply on the make.
    But when they’re done, it’s cash that they want, Pop!

  35. Brian Allgar says:

    A dog’s dinner

    “I admit that I’m dying to cop
    A large chunk of my master’s lamb chop.
    Well, who’d want to nibble
    This dreary old kibble?
    Perhaps he’d be willing to swap.”

  36. Ted Hayes says:

    Recklessly, OJ had finally shaken the cops,
    now he was driving to the next stop…
    and there, still on the ground
    just waiting to be found,
    the small glove he had ‘accidentally dropped’!

  37. Tim James says:

    Do you think that there’s never a cop
    Nearby when you need one? Well, stop.
    ‘Cause it’s simply not true.
    You just need to look through
    The front door to your town’s doughnut shop.

  38. Dave Johnson says:

    A new method for music you choose:
    “Alexa, now play me some Blues…”
    The Echo Dot fits
    In one of your mitts;
    And shines while you shuffle your shoes.

  39. David Reddekopp says:

    Well if it should be that I lose
    I may well be singing the blues
    Even so, let me state
    I’m accepting my fate
    For it’s left up to Madeleine to choose.

  40. Val Fish says:

    Some people will say that I’m ‘sad’
    Winter blues I get really bad
    Birds get to migrate
    I just hibernate
    Cocooned in my warm cosy pad

  41. Daphne Steinberg says:

    “Did you see that red light?” asked the cop.
    As he watched me from leg to leg hop.
    “Dude, I gotta go pee.
    If you don’t excuse me
    now I think that my bladder will pop!”

  42. Tim James says:


    On Election Day, many were blue.
    But take comfort, for this is what’s true:
    Although Donald’s an ass,
    Mr. O’s act is class
    And he’s shown what a good man can do.

  43. Dave Johnson says:

    Maloney, our neighborhood cop,
    Is always around when we shop.
    His daily routine
    Has him there at the scene;
    Right next to the cannabis shop.

  44. Frank Hubeny says:

    There once was a dragon to stop
    And a knight who was judge-jury-cop
    And a damsel so fair
    You could smell her blonde hair
    Over there where sweet dreams rise and pop.

  45. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    The work is depressing at zoos,
    So I often go home with the blues.
    And it’s getting more bleak,
    For example, last week,
    We received really terrible gnus.

  46. Mary McGarvey says:

    In tight spots call out tough Irish cops.
    It’s no good with cops who are wops.
    Italians, I’m told
    Are never as bold
    As a mick whose mum made him be tops

  47. Dave Johnson says:

    This election was horrible news;
    Forefathers are singing the blues.
    Here’s what transpired:
    That numb-nuts was hired
    So Putin can tighten the screws.

  48. Val Fish says:

    I once went on a date with a cop
    Who’d a penchant for women on top
    But when his truncheon
    Failed to function
    You could say the whole thing was a flop

  49. Mark G. Kane says:

    Of all of her kinks, this was top:
    Undressing and frisking a cop.
    She had got a raw deal,
    When a cop ‘Copped a Feel,’
    So for HIM she’ll be using a crop.

  50. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The car sped, jabbed through lanes like a knife
    An act foolishly risking one’s life
    With lights flashing, the cop
    Finally made that car stop
    But it turned out to be his own wife!

  51. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Police stopped him, much to his chagrin
    Found his wife in the trunk, mean as sin
    She was bitching nonstop
    Till the frustrated cop
    Just decided to drop her back in!

  52. Kirk Miller says:

    I poured sodium chloride on top
    Of policemen. They told me to stop.
    I did; got arrested.
    I’m really detested
    By my friends for assaulting a cop.

  53. Kirk Miller says:

    We were passing a football in grass
    By the side of the highway. Alas,
    A patrolman did stop;
    Gave a ticket. The cop
    Said, “The sign clearly states ‘Do Not Pass’.”

  54. Kirk Miller says:

    A toupee store received some bad news.
    They were robbed, so were singing the blues.
    The police were appalled
    That the robbers were bald,
    But the cops combed the crime scene for clues.

  55. Kirk Miller says:

    The cannon ball guy sang the blues.
    At love, seems he always would lose.
    When he’d hop into bed
    With a gal, he would dread
    Her saying, “You’ve got a short fuse.”

  56. Kirk Miller says:

    Many women he’s given the blues,
    Because marriage he never will choose.
    Since his mind is dead set,
    No one’s married him yet.
    He’s a man of un-altar-able views.

  57. Kirk Miller says:

    A person who frequently stews
    Has an attitude that he does choose.
    “Orange you happy?” I said,
    But his face just turned red
    ‘Cause he always is singing the blues.

  58. Kirk Miller says:

    When celebrities suffer the blues,
    Gourmet coffee’s the thing that they choose
    To raise spirits up.
    They pay for each cup
    With some Starbucks; that’s what they all use.

  59. Kirk Miller says:

    If you find yourself singing the blues
    ‘Cause you’re way overweight, put on shoes.
    Try to walk and diet;
    I suggest you try it,
    Because what have you got to lose?

  60. Ted Hayes says:

    Let’s all welcome our brand new top cop.
    Says he, “I’m where the buck’ll now stop
    and by any means devious
    or just mischievous
    I’m bringing our jobs back non-stop.”

  61. Mark G. Kane says:

    Wile ignoring the cute, leering cop,
    She proceeded to take off her top,
    Because here in the city,
    Displaying each titty
    While tanning is fine, so why stop?

  62. Suzanne Heymann says:

    You like Sam Cooke? Or Al Green? You choose!
    Etta James, B. B. King; you can’t lose!
    If James Brown, Marvin Gaye,
    And Ray Charles make your day
    It’s because they play Rhythm and Blues!

  63. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Rip van Winkle was having the blues
    So he thought he would go for a snooze
    When he woke, there was strife
    Kids were grown; lost his wife
    Twenty years of his life, he did lose.

  64. Suzanne Heymann says:

    An inaugural dogg’rel for you’s
    If you’ve all got the swearing-in blues
    Peace of mind has exploded
    With ethics eroded
    It’s time to get loaded with booze!

  65. Dave Johnson says:

    If I were a history cop,
    I’d hold up my hand and yell “Stop!”
    We’re about to embark
    On a horrible lark;
    With a carnival huckster on top.

  66. Ted Hayes says:

    Those old moral blues, we sure got ’em
    when the Bill/Hill combo parred us to Sodom.
    But Trump’s moral matters
    brings a need for strong ladders
    and a long climb back up to bottom.

  67. Jeanine Silverio says:

    On his days free of being a cop
    He secretly partied non-stop
    He’d smoke some good dope
    And tie chicks down with rope
    And then redden their butts with his crop

  68. Jeanine Silverio says:

    Cruel and heartless men Billie would choose
    Womanizers inclined to abuse
    Her generous soul
    (As well as each hole)
    Then they’d leave Billie singing the blues

  69. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I’ve a party, and come if you choose
    It’s a musical night, but no booze!
    It’s a sad sort of thing–
    Ev’ry note that you sing
    Means you’re all gonna bring your own Blues.

  70. Suzanne Heymann says:

    She thought a low neck line was hotter
    If, when speeding, police finally caught her
    Sure enough, soon a cop
    Made her zooming car stop
    But what made this a flop – she’s his daughter!

  71. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick Award 269.

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Blues-Themed Limerick Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Stare.