Archive for the ‘Marriage Humor’ Category

Flagrantly Fragrant Limerick

Friday, February 17th, 2023

A bride, who’d worn too much perfume,
Made folks fume in the small chapel room.
The essence was floral.
Its strength caused a quarrel.
And that’s how the bride lost her groom.

More Life With Mark And Madeleine

Tuesday, January 10th, 2023

Madeleine: Nice job on yesterday’s Bee! You got some great words I missed.

Mark: But that makes no sense! I learned them from you.

Madeleine: I didn’t teach you those words. I transferred them.

Risky Ramble (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 6th, 2022

When I encounter a new-to-me word, I often challenge myself to use it in a limerick. Today’s ancient and obscure, but (lucky for me) rhymable word is “cramble.” (As a noun, it refers to broken tree branches thrown to the ground and usable for craft or firewood.)

Through the forest, my husband would ramble
In his quest for good fireplace cramble.
Soon a fire would blaze,
And before it we’d gaze,
As he bandaged his wounds from the bramble.

The Rocky Marriage

Tuesday, November 29th, 2022

Shortly after I signed up with Mastodon (the Twitter replacement) I was invited to join a nice group of poets who use daily prompts to inspire haiku and other short verse. My inspiration for this limerick was the “fox” prompt:

Said a gal, as she tugged at her locks,
“My marriage to Rick’s on the rocks.
The last straw was last night:
We had a huge fight
Cuz he called our new neighbor a ‘fox’”

A Weird Duet (Haiku and Limerick)

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022

I was inspired to write both a limerick and a haiku when encountering the #weird prompt in Mastodon:

When weirdness prevails,
invading lives ev’ry day,
is weirdness still weird?


Dear hubby, you look rather weird;
Can’t get used to your black and white beard.
A chin that’s hair-free —
What sheer joy that would be!
So how ’bout it? Let’s get your face sheared!

A Marital Grievance (Limerick)

Thursday, September 29th, 2022

I hope my using new-to-me words won’t incite grumbling:

“Republican laws are draconian,”
Raged a man at his wife. “And demonian!”
She replied, “While that’s true,
I can NOT help but rue
Having married an old grumbletonian.”

No Laughing Matter (Limerick)

Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

When hubby Mark and I watch comedy, his laughter sometimes obliterates the punchlines. And that gives me a good excuse to use another new-to-me word in a limerick:

Hubby Mark has an ear-splitting laugh.
Its volume is way off the graph.
To produce cachinnation,
He needs no libation…
So I call him my much louder half.

The Not So Happy Couple (Limerick)

Saturday, August 6th, 2022

“I’ve been faithful! You’ve NOT been deceived,”
Said a gal to her spouse. “I’m aggrieved
And can’t handle your doubts,
Accusations, and shouts!”
“Don’t worry! I’ll soon be bereaved.”

A Major Confrontation (Limerick)

Friday, August 5th, 2022

When a gal switched her major to art,
Her parents’ responses were tart:
“Paying bills is a bitch,
So you’d best marry rich.”
“Are you planning to clerk at the mart?”

Mutt Memories (Limerick)

Sunday, July 31st, 2022

When I starting drafting this limerick, I meant it to be a National Mutt Day verse. But it seems to have turned into something else:

I had many a mutt growing up.
My fav’rite behaved like a pup
Well into old age.
And my husband, who’s sage,
Takes his lead from that dog. Clever? Yup!

Still Bugged By Mosquitoes (Limerick)

Monday, July 11th, 2022

Wherever I go (or I’ve been)
Bugs attack me, ignoring my kin.
I scratch and I itch
And I can’t help but bitch…
Cuz mosquitoes get under my skin!

Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.

Happy Birthday To My Great Husband Mark (Limerick)

Saturday, July 9th, 2022

Happy birthday, dear hubby! Have fun!
You’re the best husband under the sun!
And PLEASE don’t feel stiffed,
But this lim’rick’s my gift.
(Aren’t you happy you wed a “Begun?”)

The Off-Kilter Kiss (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2022

A young fellow sensed something amiss
With wife Fran from her lackluster kiss;
She had downed sev’ral beers,
Then compounded his fears:
“I’m not Fran, but her evil twin sis.”

(“National Kissing Day” falls each year on June 22.)

Wedding Interruptus? (Limerick)

Thursday, June 9th, 2022

“My niece Mary’s a likeable lass
Who, alas, is engaged to an ass.
Though I’ve warned her, ‘Be wary,’
She’s anxious to marry.
What I need is a ‘Hail Mary pass.'”

What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 8th, 2022

Said a gal, “Please attend to that fly.”
So her husband looked down to comply.
“But it’s zipped,” he said, bugged.
(Nothing moved when he tugged.)
“You blew it. It flew in my eye.”

(On June 8, Canadians celebrate National Insect Appreciation Day — NAIAD.)

A Dickish Limerick

Wednesday, April 27th, 2022

The aptly named newlywed, Dick,
Refers to his bride as a “chick”
And never extols her.
He boasts he “controls her”
By using “both carat and stick.”

Cloaked In Bravado (Limerick)

Sunday, April 24th, 2022

He showed off his coat with a swagger:
“It’s a one-of-a-kind,” said the bragger.
Then he brandished a knife:
“I’ll use THIS on the wife!”
His behavior? Sub-par cloak-and-dagger.

NOT On The Fence (Limerick)

Thursday, April 21st, 2022

“I don’t mind that my new husband hoards
His numerous fencing awards.
But his weapon collection
Incites my objection…
And that’s where we often cross swords.”

Happy Margarita Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022

Margarita’s a fave in our house.
If I drink one in bars, though, I’ll grouse;
They are weak and too sweet
And consistently beat
By the great ones prepared by my spouse.

(Happy National Margarita Day, which falls each year on February 22.)

Yet Another Wordle Limerick

Monday, January 31st, 2022

Though he’s brilliant, my husband can’t spell.
And his less/fewer usage? Pell-mell!
But despite his word-hurdle,
He beats me at Wordle
And kvells as I yell, “What fresh hell!”