Archive for September, 2010

What A Drag!

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

Needless to say, I wrote this limerick while running around doing sundry chores:

What A Drag!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who’s dragging a cart
Has some errands to run. Where to start?
The cleaners and grocer —
Too bad they’re not closer.
How she longs to stay home and make art.

Infamous Limerick

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who yearned for great fame…

Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Infamous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who yearned for great fame
Had no talent that people could name.
But reality’s odd:
Her voluptuous bod
Led to stints on American Dame.

The series showed gals well endowed,
As scantily clad as allowed.
Then losers were kicked,
As front-runners were picked.
You don’t like that idea? Join the crowd.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Happy National Punctuation Day — Two Days Late

Sunday, September 26th, 2010

Somehow I managed to miss National Punctuation Day on Sept 24th. “Shame on me!”

Oh my — I just used an exclamation point! And I did it again!

As you can tell from my limerick, I’m not a big fan of the exclamation point, a/k/a the bang.

STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame.
I abuse them, at times,
When excited by rhymes!!!!
But usage that’s spare is my aim.

By the way, it isn’t too late to celebrate National Punctuation Day: NationalPunctuationDay.com is doing it with a punctuation-related haiku contest. (The deadline is September 30th.)

And speaking of contests, the Washington Post is hosting another limerick competition. (As I mentioned previously, I got an honorable mention in their last one.)

Anyway, the Washington Post’s latest limerick contest sounds like a lot of fun. Much like my Limerick-Offs, WP provides limerick lines. However, the WP contest is definitely harder than mine: I provide A-rhyme first lines, while the WP contest offers us B-rhyme lines.

The Washington Post contest deadline is October 4th. Good luck!

Decomposed Limerick

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

This isn’t a formal Limerick-Off. But feel free to “borrow” my first line, if you’re so inclined.

Decomposed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal who was putting on airs
Kept attracting a great many stares.
It seems that her dress
Under strain and duress
Had split on her way down the stairs.

While her garb suffered decomposition,
She appeared not to know her condition.
She assumed that those glances
Were ill-bred advances —
Not gapes at her clothing’s attrition.

Some Fun With Facebook’s Outage

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

The movie about Facebook, The Social Network, has been getting a ton of publicity this week. So I wonder if Facebook’s outages today were caused by the extra publicity, or just an unfortunate coincidence.

Of course I immediately went into Facebook withdrawal and wrote this pair of haiku:

I think Facebook’s down.
Where to go to confirm this?
On Twitter, of course.

and

Facebook back — Hurray!
Have I cheered prematurely?
So Twitter tells me.

Suitable Verse

Monday, September 20th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who owned only one suit…

Here’s mine. (It’s a six-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Suitable Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who owned only one suit
Could afford many more with his loot.
But he hated to wear’em
And just could not bear’em,
Which led to a workplace dispute.

The co that he worked for was sold.
“The new owner likes suits,” he was told.
“That’s too bad,” he replied.
“I just can not abide
Dressing up and I won’t be controlled.”

“Read my memo — now suits are a must,”
He was warned. “You must look upper crust.”
He replied, “Won’t comply!”
“Then I bid you goodbye,”
Said the buyer, with scorn and disgust.

“But wait, there’s a suit that I like,”
He responded. “I won’t take a hike.
It’s a suit of this sort:
I shall take you to court.
Watch your legal bills mount up and spike.”

The new owner refused to back down.
He assumed that the guy was a clown
Who never would sue.
That assumption, he’d rue.
He soon learned that this “clown” owned the town.

Yes, he worked just for fun — that’s the hitch.
He missed working — it gave him an itch.
So he did file that suit
And won even more loot.
Then he bought out the co. Ain’t that rich?

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

And if you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

A Limerick Ode To Autumn

Monday, September 20th, 2010

Rumor has it that fall will arrive on September 23rd. So I thought I’d celebrate with my Limerick Ode To Autumn:

Limerick Ode To Autumn
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Feels like autumn — the walking is easy
Cuz it’s cool and it’s dry and it’s breezy.
But what do I spy?
Flying pollen — oh my!
Any minute I’ll surely be sneezy.

Tornado Night

Saturday, September 18th, 2010

Thursday night’s weather was certainly interesting here in Queens, New York. Hubby Mark and I were on the Long Island Railroad on route to an Off-Broadway play, when what turned out to be a tornado hit.

After some delays, our train did manage to make it to Penn Station, after which the railroad completely shut down, stranding hordes of rush hour commuters. (As we later learned, the tracks were littered with uprooted trees, and the storm had wreaked havoc throughout much of New York City.)

But we went off to see the play, figuring that by the time we were finished with theater and dinner, everything would be back to normal. Ha!

As it turned out, more than 24 hours would elapse before the LIRR would fully recover. So our path home to Bayside, Queens was a challenge, involving an unfamiliar combo of train, subway, and bus.

Relieved to finally be home, we were greeted by an unwelcome discovery — the tallest tree in our backyard had relocated to our neighbor’s yard.

Well, at least the play wasn’t bad — It Must Be Him, starring Peter Scolari and Liz Torres. Not great mind you — not even close. But everything’s relative.

Weepy Limerick

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who readily cried…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Weepy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who readily cried
Never learned to take movies in stride.
She would feel oh so low
And her tear drops would flow
When a character sickened or died.

She’d weep for the good guys and bad—
Did not matter — they both made her sad.
How her husband freaked out
When she sobbed for a lout
Like a killer or mean, deadbeat dad.

He told her, “You’re acting insane.
Is there something amiss with your brain?
Please don’t cry for a villain
Who merits his killin’.
Put clamps on your waterworks main.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)

An Ode To The Limerick

Monday, September 13th, 2010

The Washington Post runs a yearly limerick writing competition as part of its Style Invitational and has just announced this year’s winners. No, I didn’t win, but I was pleased to receive an Honorable Mention.

If you’d like to read some clever, well-written limericks, I recommend reading the winning limericks.

And now, a limerick about writing limericks:

An Ode To The Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Writing lim’ricks is sometimes confusing
Cuz the rules can be tricky and bruising.
But their sing-songy beat
Can be fun — just don’t cheat.
Write them right and they’re very amusing.

Dear Spammer Dude

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

My blog comment spam problems aren’t nearly bad as they used to be, due to an anti-spam WordPress Plugin I raved about previously. But I still have to scan pending comments for spam, and certain things are a dead give away:

Dear Spammer Dude (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Spammers, don’t call me a “dude.”
I’m a gal, so that sounds rather rude.
My pic makes this clear,
So your “dude” usage, dear,
Proves your post should be promptly eschewed.

Weathering Those Weather Reports

Monday, September 6th, 2010

TV weather reporters in the New York metropolitan area had a wonderful time last week, warning us about Hurricane Earl and all the rain that was surely coming our way. They gave us “teaser” reports early in the news shows, making us wait, as usual, for forecasts that turned out to be wrong.

We had hurricane watches and warnings galore … but no actual rain. In short, New York City weather predictions were a washout.

Weathering Those Weather Reports (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Why use weather reports as your guide?
I really don’t mean to be snide,
But they tend to be wrong
And they take way too long.
Want a forecast that’s right? Go outside.

Caffeinated Limerick

Friday, September 3rd, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Caffeinated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
He’s addicted, alas, to the bean.
Not to coffee or tea—
Cappuccino, you see,
Is his weakness, at prices obscene.

As his drinks climb past five bucks a pop,
He keeps trying and failing to stop.
He decided last week
It was high time to seek
A solution — went online to shop.

As he browsed. he found makers galore
At an Internet kitchenware store.
So he bought one — now brews
His own drinks — he can’t lose,
Although now he is credit card poor.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)