Posts Tagged ‘Lawsuit Humor’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STAY at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Sunday, May 15th, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STAY at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SCIENCE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best science-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 29, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 28, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A litigant seeking a stay
Of an order was told “There’s no way
That you’re getting relief.
You’ve no grounds for your beef,
So the meat of this order is NAY!”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Feud (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, October 6th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man was involved in a feud…*

or

A gal was involved in a feud…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Feud
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A shrink was involved in a feud
With his neighbors, and ended up sued.
On his problem he dwelled,
As lawyers withheld
Any aid, saying “Not in the mood!”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Discontented

Monday, March 21st, 2011

Discontented (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some say, “Content cries out to be free.”
Oddly, that’s what some users decree.
Whether poetry, art,
Software, songs from the heart,
They deny there’s a rightful payee.

They think copyright laws are oppressive.
They deem fees, even tiny, excessive.
But if they don’t get paid,
Their attorney brigade
Will surely become quite aggressive.

(Sunday Scribblings prompts us with the word free.)

Wedded Bliss Interruptus

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

I’m a “recovering lawyer.” But I haven’t “recovered” quite enough to resist writing this lawsuit limerick. It’s a cautionary tale about jilted brides, grooms who get cold feet, and litigation to recover wedding expenses.

The former bride-to-be Dominique Buttitta (who just happens to be a lawyer) is seeking over $95,000 in damages from her ex-fiancé. She claims defendant Vito Salerno jilted her just four days before the wedding, after she’d spent $56,000 for the banquet hall, flowers, orchestra, and gown, plus other non-refundable expenses.

Ms. Buttitta has a decent chance of recovering her out-of-pocket expenses, according to lawyers Gloria Allred and Lydia Sartain.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Wedded Bliss Interruptus
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’re planning a wedding, be warned:
Change your mind and your bride-to-be scorned
Could sue you and win
Major bucks for your sin.
And your assets? They’re bound to be mourned.

Suitable Verse

Monday, September 20th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who owned only one suit…

Here’s mine. (It’s a six-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Suitable Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who owned only one suit
Could afford many more with his loot.
But he hated to wear’em
And just could not bear’em,
Which led to a workplace dispute.

The co that he worked for was sold.
“The new owner likes suits,” he was told.
“That’s too bad,” he replied.
“I just can not abide
Dressing up and I won’t be controlled.”

“Read my memo — now suits are a must,”
He was warned. “You must look upper crust.”
He replied, “Won’t comply!”
“Then I bid you goodbye,”
Said the buyer, with scorn and disgust.

“But wait, there’s a suit that I like,”
He responded. “I won’t take a hike.
It’s a suit of this sort:
I shall take you to court.
Watch your legal bills mount up and spike.”

The new owner refused to back down.
He assumed that the guy was a clown
Who never would sue.
That assumption, he’d rue.
He soon learned that this “clown” owned the town.

Yes, he worked just for fun — that’s the hitch.
He missed working — it gave him an itch.
So he did file that suit
And won even more loot.
Then he bought out the co. Ain’t that rich?

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

And if you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Weeding Out Crazy Lawsuits (Outdoor Smoking Ban Limerick)

Saturday, September 1st, 2007

As a result of a neighbor’s lawsuit, a Swedish woman can no longer smoke in most of her garden. (And you thought the United States was a litigious country.)

Stockholm – A Swedish woman has been banned by court order from smoking in large parts of her own garden following a complaint from a neighbour…

… The neighbour, a lawyer, filed the complaint with the court in Vaxjo, in southern Sweden, saying he was obliged to wear a mask in his garden when the neighbour lit up.

Weeding Out Crazy Lawsuits (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A cig-hating fellow from Sweden
Sued a gal cause she smoked during weedin’.
Now smoking’s been banned
On much of her land.
What’s next? Litigation o’er readin’?

Ode To The Segway Scooter

Friday, September 15th, 2006

How’s this for a corporate nightmare? Every Segway Personal Transporter ever manufactured has been recalled due to a “software glitch in the scooters that can make riders fall.”

This recall calls out for a limerick, don’t you think? So here’s my Ode To The Segway Scooter:

The maker of scooters called Segway
Has recalled them from road, walk, and hedgeway.
Their software’s quite galling.
It’s prone to cause falling.
Now lawyers have fresh “we allege” prey.