Just in time for Ballet Day (Feb. 7):
Please forget the ballet! There’s no place
On the stage for a gal lacking grace.
All your leaps and pliés
Are debasing displays.
So shoo! You’re a huge waste of space!
Archive for the ‘Dance Humor’ Category
Dear Would-Be Ballerina (Limerick)
Sunday, February 7th, 2016Dance-Impaired Limerick
Thursday, August 20th, 2015Dance-Impaired Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I never could dance as a juve,
And my ballroom moves never improve.
Despite rhythm to spare,
I just can’t seem to scare
Up a semblance of having a groove.
Happy National Dance Day — July 25 (Limerick)
Saturday, July 25th, 2015Happy National Dance Day! (last Saturday of July)
I’ve learned that I’m taking a chance
Whenever I venture to dance
With my husband, who’s wild;
I’ll likely be piled
On the floor — never good for romance.
We Don’t Have A Dog’s Chance Of Dancing Like That (Limerick)
Tuesday, September 16th, 2014This “dog dancing the Merengue video” is so good, Mark and I may never try to Latin-dance again.
At Merengue we aren’t too swift.
Latin dancing? We haven’t the gift.
Any skill we once had
Went from middling to bad.
Yes it’s gone to the dogs, and I’m miffed.
Limerick Ode To National Dance Day
Saturday, July 26th, 2014Ordinarily, I’d celebrate National Dance Day today by dancing. But a mysterious foot injury’s forcing me to sublimate by writing a limerick:
Limerick Ode To National Dance Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Dance Day, so dance if you can.
Do the can-can or whirl with a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.
The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly
Thursday, February 27th, 2014Here are my entries in the Washington Post Style Invitational’s good/bad/ugly contest:
Good: While walking through a wildlife preserve, you encounter a crane.
Bad: It’s moving toward you, getting too close for comfort.
Ugly: A man in a hard hat yells, “Whoops!”
Good: You get a great sounding job and are promised tons of bread.
Bad: The job turns out to be boring.
Ugly: You’re paid in actual bread.
Good: You and your spouse like to dance, so you sign up for swing.
Bad: You enter the club and hate the music.
Ugly: The dancing is horizontal.
Good: You’ve earned an MS in Zoology.
Bad: Despite your credentials, finding a job is tough.
Ugly: You’re finally working in a real zoo … a New York deli.
You can find the entertaining winners list (which doesn’t include me) here.
Limerick Blows (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, December 22nd, 2013NOTE: THIS IS A TWO-WEEK LIMERICK-OFF. LIMERICK SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS SATURDAY, JANUARY 4, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
Please note that due to the holidays, this Limerick-Off will run for two weeks, instead of one. So I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner two weeks from today, on January 5, 2014, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full two weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 4, 2014 at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
And since you’ll have two weeks, I’m offering you a topical alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to the holidays, using any first line. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best holiday-related limerick.
And now, getting back to your regular Limerick-Off challenge, I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who’d suffered some blows…*
or
A fellow who’d just come to blows…*
or
A fellow who frequently blows…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Blows
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who frequently blows
His nose at theatrical shows
Was finally thrown out
Cuz his Nutcracker snout
Had trod upon too many toes.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Dancing With A Wild Man (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013Mark and I take weekly group ballroom dancing classes. However, due to sundry symptoms, we’ve missed a bunch of them. But we finally made to a class Tuesday night, which reminded me of this:
Dancing with A Wild Man (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband has very wild moves.
So when dancing, it surely behooves
Me to exercise care
And really beware,
As I try not to fall, while he grooves.
Leading With Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, January 29th, 2012It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying to lead…*
or
A woman was trying to lead…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Leading With Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was trying to lead,
But his rumba was not up to speed.
His steps got all tangled,
His partner’s feet mangled.
I’m guessing that’s why he was kneed.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)
Looking Askance (Limerick)
Thursday, July 28th, 2011Looking Askance (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was looking askance
At a hoofer she spotted by chance.
He danced by the book.
So why the odd look?
The fellow was wearing no pants.
UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)
A Couple On The Move
Thursday, April 28th, 2011Whether it’s an Irish pub, a packed rock & roll bar, or a ballroom dance floor filled with Big Band Era seniors, hubby Mark and I will probably dance. Not well, mind you, but with great energy and enthusiasm.
We often attract attention and even compliments, accompanied undoubtedly by such thought balloons as “How do people that old dance so fast?” Or “I’m pretty sure my grandma can’t do that.” Or “What the hell is that woman doing on the men’s side of my synagogue?”
In case you’re wondering, yes we know we’re probably making a spectacle of ourselves. But we’re having fun and we simply don’t care.
Tomorrow, April 29th, is International Dance Day. So Happy International Dance Day, everyone! Here’s my latest limerick:
A Couple On The Move
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When my husband and I try to dance,
Some enjoy us and some look askance.
We’re inept, but enthused,
And don’t have to be boozed
To have rumba-like fun — that’s our stance.
You might also enjoy my We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway.
Aging Musically (Haiku)
Saturday, March 12th, 2011Nursing nostalgia,
the tribute bands play covers —
relive what wasn’t.
*****
The injured cellist,
forced to bow out of concerts,
retires her bow.
*****
The big bands play swing —
old couples dance joyously,
then reclaim their canes.
*****
Three childhood friendships —
treasured, instrumental —
piano, oboe, flute.
*****
(The first haiku was inspired by Writer’s Island’s tribute theme. The fourth haiku was inspired by Monday Memories’ friendship theme.)
Out on a Limb Haiku Quintet
Monday, February 21st, 2011Though I’m never safe,
his arms always comfort me,
and that must suffice.
*****
Ballroom dancing class—
learning creative ways to
defeat the rumba.
*****
Morning legs dangle
off the bed, as antique joints
brace for their touch down.
*****
Feeling elated—
great, yet dampened by knowing
what’s soon to follow.
*****
Poised atop mirage
of a career, gazing down
at life left behind.
*****
(I wrote the 1st haiku for We Write Poems’ safe prompt; the 4th haiku for Sensational Haiku Wednesday’s elation prompt; and the 5th haiku for One Single Impression’s top prompt and Haiku Heights’ mirage prompt.)
Feet Trouble Afoot
Wednesday, January 5th, 2011Big Tent Poetry prompts us to write poems about feet this week. My pal Amanda’s already composed one. So, why not a limerick?
Feet Trouble Afoot
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I can’t always rely on my feet.
When I dance, they say “Please take a seat!”
Though I stretch ’em and bend ’em,
I can’t seem to mend ’em.
Of foot, I confess, I’m not fleet.
We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway
Friday, November 27th, 2009Every few years, my husband and I take ballroom dancing classes. We never make much progress, but we do have a good time. Except, of course, for the bruised limbs … and egos.
I’m celebrating our latest lesson attempt with a two-part limerick:
We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband and I like to dance.
Are we good? Oh no way — not a chance.
I am not being humble
In saying we stumble
And often trip over our pants.
But we’re working on rumba and swing.
Plan a do-over class in the spring.
And to those who might think
That we really do stink,
Just be glad we’re not trying to sing.
UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)
