Posts Tagged ‘Career Humor’

The Grumbly Staffer (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 16th, 2024

“Work’s a slog,” grumbled Bob on his blog.
“I’m bogged down in my backlog; a cog
On a wheel that won’t stop.
I must go till I drop,
Though there’s time for a… Who stole my grog?!?”

Musical Lament (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 12th, 2023

“My career choice was NOT the astutest;
There are very few jobs for a flutist.
How I wish that I heeded
My parents, who pleaded:
‘Don’t toot on that flute. Be a lutist!'”

A Major Confrontation (Limerick)

Friday, August 5th, 2022

When a gal switched her major to art,
Her parents’ responses were tart:
“Paying bills is a bitch,
So you’d best marry rich.”
“Are you planning to clerk at the mart?”

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WRAP or RAP at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: August 21, 2021)

Saturday, August 7th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WRAP or RAP at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MOODS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MOOD-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on August 22, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 21, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my WRAP or RAP-rhyme limerick:

A worker caught taking a nap
Succeeded at beating the rap:
“My cubicle mate
Caused my somnolent state;
He’s a terribly boring young chap.”

And here’s my MOOD-themed limerick:

A woman whose boss was capricious
Found his mood swings pernicious and vicious.
But HR took his side,
Implying she’d lied.
Soon thereafter he died — death suspicious.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RAISE or RAYS or RAZE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 1, 2020)

Sunday, January 19th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RAISE or RAYS or RAZE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DANCE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DANCE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 2, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 1, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my RAISE/RAYS/RAZE-rhyme limerick:

When requesting a bonus or raise,
It is best to prepare for some nays;
Often praise will precede
A loud “NO!” Alas greed
Within management ain’t just a phase.

And here’s my DANCE-themed limerick:

A gal was attempting the twist —
A dance from her youth she still missed.
But this hard kind of rock
Left her hips in a lock.
She was wistful, as Doc said: “Resist!”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Piloting Careers (Limerick)

Saturday, May 11th, 2019

Pilots know their career’s on the wane
When bosses respond with disdain
To suggestions they make,
And tell them to take
A long trip on a very slow train.

(National Train Day falls on the second Saturday of May.)

Limerick Ode To “Take A Chance Day”

Monday, April 23rd, 2018

Happy “Take A Chance Day!” (April 23)

A fellow who likes taking chances
Keeps messing up likely advances.
But despite each blown op,
He refuses to stop:
“Risks are worth it.” Yes, that’s what his stance is.

Ode To Workaholics

Saturday, July 5th, 2014

Today (July 5th) is National Workaholics Day.

Ode To Workaholics
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Workaholics endure a disease,
Which will cause neither cough nor a sneeze.
But they’re gripped by a fever;
They’re missing the lever
That permits them occasional ease.

A Lawyer’s Tale ( 3-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, August 1st, 2013

As you can tell from this 3-verse limerick, my legal career had a rather inauspicious start:

A Lawyer’s Tale (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I once worked for a sleazy attorney.
(Let’s just call him “Unethical Earnie.”)
I rebuffed him when ordered
To do things that bordered
On iffy and worse. What a journey!

I quit just as soon as I could —
Found a new lawyer job — knock on wood.
He flipped out when I left
And he left me bereft,
Ripping off all my cash really good.

Decades later, I just got the news
That this fellow who’s garnered my boos
Lost his license: Disbarred!
No more lawyering card!
Schadenfreude — I virtually ooze.

A Limerick Spread (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, September 9th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman was planning a spread…*

or

A fellow was planning a spread…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

A Limerick Spread
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was planning a spread,
Meant to help push her husband ahead.
It would boost his connections.
(So said her projections.)
But it led him astray into bed.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

What Will I Be When I Grow Up?

Monday, October 29th, 2007

What Will I Be When I Grow Up?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Ev’ry decade I change my career.
The first used my musical ear.
I tried lawyering second,
Till humor scribe beckoned.
What’s next? I just can’t wait to hear.

=========

(You can find more of my employment humor here, my music humor here, and my legal humor here.)

Ode To The Bar Exam

Thursday, January 25th, 2007

Ode To The Bar Exam
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“I’m worried I won’t pass the bar,”
Cried the would-be attorney (no star).
His career he regretted.
Strung out, how he fretted:
He shouldn’t have quit the guitar.

(My legal humor is collected here.)

Accounting For That CPA

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007

Accounting For That CPA
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This accountant is no CPA,
Though he hopes to become one some day.
The exams are a trial,
But they’re surely worthwhile:
He’ll track money for much better pay. 

(My money humor is collected here and my career and workplace humor is collected here.) 

Just In Time For Labor Day, Some Job Interview Humor

Saturday, September 2nd, 2006

THOUGHTFUL INTERVIEW 

For a job applicant, an interview is to be sought, then dreaded, then endured. And managers rarely relish interviews any more than the trembling supplicant on the other side of their desk. So it’s probably just as well that people can’t read minds. If they could, most interviews would be aborted within 45 seconds:

INTERVIEWER: Good morning Mr. Jones. I’m so pleased that we’ve finally had a chance to meet. (This loser’s been clogging my voicemail and email with desperate messages.)

APPLICANT: It’s a pleasure to speak with you. (She’s been dodging my messages for weeks. I’ll never get this job.)

INTERVIEWER: George Smith recommended you highly. So naturally I reviewed your resume and gave you a call. (George is an idiot. Why is he wasting my time with this jerk?)

APPLICANT: I’ve known George for years, and he’s very familiar with my work. (George is an idiot — a well-connected idiot. And if he weren’t my wife’s brother, he wouldn’t give me the time of day.)

INTERVIEWER: So tell me something about yourself. (He must be a relative. God I hate this job.)

APPLICANT: Well, —- I have a highly diversified background — everything from computer programming, to teaching, to sales. (One of these days I’ll find something I’m good at.)

INTERVIEWER: Which of those fields best reflects your skills? (Just what we need around here — another jack-of-all-trades.) … (My Thoughtful Interview is continued here.)

Parental Proposal

Monday, August 14th, 2006

The “help wanted” pages are filled with job descriptions that defy comprehension. This probably explains why so many parents can’t quite figure out what it is their children do for a living. And it can lead to parental queries like this one from my mother-in-law to my husband Mark:

“Tell me exactly what your job is. Go slowly. I have to write it down.”

Mark hadn’t switched employers or secured a promotion; he’s been doing essentially the same work for ten years. So why the sudden curiosity? Because his parents recently attended a wedding packed with inquisitive relatives. Relatives who appeared to be more interested in Mark’s career than they were in the bride and groom. …

Parental Proposal is continued here.)

Those Unspeakable Meetings

Wednesday, August 9th, 2006

Do men and women communicate differently at work? Yes, according to proponents of the “men and women are from different galaxies” school of thought. Women are said to be self-effacing and apologetic. Men, on the other hand, are described as convincingly confident … even when they don’t have the slightest idea what they’re talking about.

Such generalizations can be dangerous, of course, and sometimes downright wrong. For instance I … forgive me for saying so … am a woman and I … uh … probably shouldn’t brag about this, but I … on admittedly rare occasions … sometimes manage to appear … uh … completely self-assured and … well … I probably shouldn’t waste your time on such a personal matter. In any event, I’m probably wrong.

Communication differences can be especially pronounced during business meetings. Especially those mind-numbingly “important” meetings where a gaggle of men and women perch and/or slouch around a conference table and discuss critical company issues like new products, marketing budgets, company picnics, and football scores. … (Those Unspeakable Meetings is continued here.)

Working Stiffed

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006

Finding a new job can be a daunting challenge. But if you follow my simple 21-step plan, you’ll soon be battling cranky alarm clocks, rush-hour traffic, and the “living for the weekend” daily grind.

1. Lose job.

2. Panic, freak out, and turn into a pulsating blob of hysteria. CAUTION: It’s best to do this at home — you’ll be wanting that reference.

3. Torture everyone you’ve ever met with your tale of woe. Bitch about your former boss, your boss’ boss, your lousy luck, the manipulative coworker who stole your job, the economy, and, of course, the world as we know it. Seriously consider buying a voodoo doll.

4. Perfect the art of sleeping late, parading about in slatternly garb, and doing absolutely nothing. Tell your spouse you spent the entire week working on your resume. When spouse says “Let me have a look,” say you’re still fine-tuning it.

5. Start working on resume. … (Working Stiffed is continued here.)