MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

Three haiku to “celebrate” an unseasonably cold first day of spring:

Calendar says spring,
But the weather disagrees.
Hope they work it out.

New York guys and gals
Greet springtime in their shirtsleeves
While winter mocks them. 

Spring shyly appears,
Taps winter on the shoulder,
Vows to try again.

(Inspired by One Single Impression’s spring prompt. And speaking of prompts, there’s still plenty of time to participate in my latest poetry prompt. How do you participate? Just write a haiku or limerick about poetry or writing and use Mr. Linky to post your themed link.)

Technorati Tags: Spring Haiku, Weather Poetry, Writing Prompts, Seasonal Poems, New York Verse

Street Metal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While I drive, I espy something bright.
To avoid it, I swerve to the right.
People honk. (It’s New York.)
Then I see — it’s a fork
In the road.  That’s what made me uptight.

(Prompted by Writers Island.)

And speaking of poetry prompts, there’s still lots of time to participate in my latest prompt.  My topic is decisions and indecision. (Although I usually post prompts every Friday, my current prompt will remain open until February 1 because I’ll be traveling.)

Technorati Tags: Fork In The Road, Driving Limerick, Car Verse, Automobile Poem, New York Poetry, Poetry Prompts, Crossroads Humor

Weathering New York Weather
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The weather outside isn’t nice,
And the walks are all covered with ice.
I seem to recall
That it’s technic’ly fall.
Would I leave New York City? No dice!

(You can find more of my seasonal (and holiday) humor here and more of my New York humor here.)

For more ice-inspired writing visit Inspire Me Thursday.

Technorati Tags: Seasonal Humor, Weather Poetry, Cold Autumn, Chilly Fall, New York City

These two horse-related poems were loosely inspired by this week’s Totally Optional Prompt:

First, a limerick:

A Horse of A Different Color
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are folks who succumb to a weakness
For races like Belmont and Preakness.
But there’s only one horse
Race I’ll bet on—the course
To the White House—a sign of my geekness?

And now, a haiku about New York City:

Trumpeting cars horns.
Clip-clopping carriage horses.
Central Park Sunday.

(You can find more of my horse humor here.)

=========

And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Feminism At Its Finest
* Carnival of the Insanities
* Carnival Of Satire
* Blog Carnival of Observations On Life
* All Women Blogging Carnival
* Anything Goes Blog Carnival

Technorati Tags: Horse Humor, Central Park, New York, Horse Racing, Triple Crown, Belmont Stakes, Preakness Stakes, Political Horse Race

Do you want to lose weight?  Then I recommend that you watch Gordon Ramsay’s new Fox show Kitchen Nightmares during dinner.  As the good Gordon might (and often does) say, “Oh my God!”

Now my husband Mark and I are fans of Ramsay’s other show Hell’s Kitchen. But other than the presence of Ramsay himself, everything that makes Hell’s Kitchen so much fun — the  competition among chefs whom you get to know and root for throughout the season — is missing from Kitchen Nightmares.  What’s left (at least in episode 1) is numerous nausea-inducing scenes featuring rancid food and roughly gazillion roaches and flies. 

Of course, by the end of the show Ramsay and his team of miracle workers turn the dive-of-the-week into a restaurant you wouldn’t be afraid to dine in.

What I can’t figure out is what the Manhattan restaurant featured in week 1 (Indian restaurant Dillons, reborn as Purnima) was doing in business before the makeover.  Doesn’t New York City have restaurant inspectors?  I sure hope so, because that’s where I live.

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Restaurant Nightmare
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I must flee this buffet. Please, let’s go.
A mouse just ran by and … oh no!
I spotted a roach
As it tried to encroach
On my sole. What’s that thing on your toe?

(You can find more of my food humor here and more of my media humor here.)

=========

And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Carnival of the Insanities
* Carnival Of Satire
* Carnival of Humor
* Blog Carnival of Observations On Life
* All Women Blogging Carnival
* Carnival of Family Life

Technorati Tags: Kitchen Nightmares, Hell’s Kitchen, Divey Restaurants, Dining Out Humor, Broadcast TV Humor, Media Humor, Gordon Ramsay, Fox Television, Insects, Roaches, Flies, Weight Loss Humor, New York City Restaurant, Restaurant Inspection, Buffet

An Arresting Affair (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal in New York was arrested
For strolling outdoors while bare-breasted.
But courts say, “No fair!
You can not make gals wear
Shirts and blouses, cause men go bare-chested.”

Yesterday, CNN reported that Jill Coccaro has received a $29,000 settlement of her civil rights lawsuit against New York City. She’d been arrested for topless strolling and was detained for twelve hours, despite a 1992 New York State appeals court ruling that women have the same right as men to remove their shirts.

(You can find more of my legal verse and humor here, my feminist humor here, and my New York humor and limericks here.)

=========

And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Carnival of Family Life
* Friday Ark
* Carnival of Storytellers
* Carnival of Education

Technorati Tags: Wrongful Arrest, Bare Breasts, Bare Chests, Topless Humor, New York Law, Lawsuit Limerick, Police Overzealousness, Topless Strolling, Equal Treatment, Women’s Rights, Feminism

A Lamb On The Lam (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A lamb on the lam in the City
Of New York, which most clearly has pity:
The lamb escapee
Said, “You ain’t eating me!”
He was pardoned, and so ends this ditty.

I couldn’t resist writing a limerick about the seven-month-old lamb that escaped a live-animal market in The Bronx, New York and led police on a several block chase before it was captured. Animal lovers will be glad to know that instead of being returned to the market, it was delivered to an animal sanctuary.

(You can find more of my animal humor and verse here and more of my food humor and poetry here.) 

=========

And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Ringing of the Bards
* Blog Carnival On Observations On Life
* Carnival of the Vanities
* Law West of the Pecos

Technorati Tags: Lamb, Sheep, Animal Limerick, Food Limerick, Police Limerick, The Bronx, New York City Limerick, Animal Lovers, Pardon Limerick

Without planning to, I seem to have launched an “Entertaining New Yorkers” series of limericks.  (First there was O’Donnell V. The Donald, and next came my limerick about Stride Pianist Judy Carmichael.)

Today’s entertaining New Yorker limerick is a tribute to my good friend Fran Capo, an author, comedienne, motivational speaker, voiceover artist, actress, and adventurer. She’s also a Guinness world record holder — the world’s fastest talking female, clocking in at 603.32 words per minute:

Ode To The Can-Do Comic, Fran Capo (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Comic Capo (I know her as Fran)
Lives her life by the motto: “I can!”
She’s a fast-talking head. 
(So the Guinness guys said.)
I’m a friend of hers—also a fan.

UPDATE: Here’s a recent four minute video clip of Fran Capo on CNN International.

Technorati Tags: Fran Capo, New York Comic, Guinness World Record Book, Fast Talking, Motivational Speakers, Voiceover Artists, Actresses, Authors, Comediennes, Adventurers, Comic Limericks

Only In Queens, New York  (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Wanna ride?” says a cop on the force.
I decline, though politely, of course.
I am tired, it’s true,
But my joints do not rue
My refusal. He’s riding a horse.

(True story:  A New York City cop on horseback offered me a ride after I complimented him on his beautiful (and gigantic) horse. Though tempted for roughly a nano-second, I took pity on my back and said a cowardly “no thanks.”) 

Technorati Tags: Queens New York Humor, Cop Humor, Policeman Humor, Police Force, New York City Cops, Horse Humor, Horseback Riding, Animal Humor

I live in New York City, so my husband Mark and I often catch great musical acts, plays, art shows, and other entertainment and cultural diversions in the Big Apple.

Why don’t I write about our New York fun?  I keep meaning to, but quickly forget to. Blame ADD, a bad memory, or just being a wee bit disorganized.

Anyway, I’ve decided to launch a new posting category — Night On The Town — in which I’ll write more regularly about our Manhattan adventures … in theory, anyway.

And what better way to start, than with the wonderful Judy Carmichael!  We caught her stride piano act Friday night at the Knickerbocker Bar and Grill, and she was excellent, as always. Mark and I own every one of her recordings!

For those who don’t know what stride piano is, it’s a musical style that originated in Harlem early in the 20th century.  And nobody does it better than Judy Carmichael.  In fact I love her playing so much, I’ve written her a limerick:

Ode To Judy Carmichael (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Judy Carmichael’s known for her stride.
She’s a pianist of note far and wide—
A female Fats Waller.
You’ll whoop and you’ll holler
With joy at her musical ride.

Technorati Tags: Judy Carmichael, Jazz Pianist, Stride Piano, Fats Waller, New York City, Big Apple, Musical Acts, Plays, Art Shows, Entertainment, Knickerbockers Bar and Grill