Posts Tagged ‘Winter Humor’

Disempowered (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 18th, 2017

We lost power. It’s fixed, but I gird
For another bad outage. My word!
It’s a jerry-rigged mend!
Will it break, or just bend
If descended upon by a bird?

Author’s Note: We lost power last night, shortly after midnight, and were the first to call Con Ed. (Apparently our neighbors go to sleep early.)

Con Ed came quickly to assess the situation and then sent back a larger crew. And 9 or 10 hours later we had a temporary repair — a couple of wires tied to trees, stretched precariously from one house to another across the street.

The temp fix doesn’t look like it could withstand even a minor winter storm, and the real repair isn’t scheduled until February 6th. Yes that’s 2.5 weeks from now. So all fingers and toes are duly crossed.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ICE at the end of any one line

Sunday, November 27th, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using ICE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SHOPPING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SHOPPING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 11, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 10, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

I’m a klutz who used FIGURE skates twice.
Would I try again? Never! No dice!
I kept fretting I’d fall,
Hit the wall, and then sprawl,
As I skated on very thin ice.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Turning Mark’s Blizzard Tale Into A Limerick

Thursday, January 28th, 2016

Mark recently posted his tale of blizzardy absent-mindedness here on Facebook. (Yes, I know “blizzardy” isn’t a word.) And I’ve decided to sum it up in a limerick:

My husband once did something whack;
Left his car window open a crack
In a blizzard, alas.
Snow flew over the glass
And got packed to the top, front to back.

A Snow Plow Meets Its Match (Limerick)

Sunday, January 24th, 2016

It’s never a good sign when a snow plow has to be rescued by a bulldozer. But that’s what things were like in Bayside, Queens on Sunday.

You know that a blizzard is bad,
And the prospect of cleaning up sad,
When the snow plow gets stuck
In the ice, snow, and muck.
Going out over-rated? A tad!

Shoveling Post (Muscle) Mortem

Sunday, January 24th, 2016

When I shovel, I try to obey
The best shoveling way, which they say
Involves using one’s thighs.
So it’s not a surprise
That our staircase is daunting today.

Yet Another Anti-Winter Poem

Friday, March 20th, 2015

Yet Another Anti-Winter Poem
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh damn you winter! Go away!
Why can’t you take a hint today?
Intruding on our spring delights
With snow is NOT within your rights.

The calendar has made it clear
It’s spring. So why are YOU still here?
I’ve foolishly already stored
Our boots and shovels, long abhorred.

I’m forced to fetch them one more time
For duties not at all sublime.
Your crime of trespass? No mere gaffe!
I just might sue on spring’s behalf.

Windy St. Patrick’s Day Limerick

Tuesday, March 17th, 2015

Windy St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Thinking Jack Frost had split, we high-fived.
But our basking in warmth was short-lived.
Winter managed to con us–
Cold wind is upon us–
A low blow as St. Pat’s Day arrived.

(More wind poetry here.)

Staten Island Chuck the Groundhog Lives (Limerick)

Monday, February 2nd, 2015

There’s been a Groundhog Day rules change at the Staten Island Zoo, in the wake of last year’s groundhog death at the klutzy hands of Mayor Bill de Blasio:

Staten Island Chuck the Groundhog Lives (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems the zoos of New York had their fill
Of Mayor-caused Groundhog Day-kill.
Last year’s groundhog is dead,
So “no holding,” they said.
“We are Chucking your touching rights, Bill.”

Wintry Woes (Limerick)

Monday, February 2nd, 2015

Wintry Woes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I so wish all these snow storms would wane.
I’d prefer their replacement with rain–
Even better, with drizzle–
A limited mizzle.
Cuz this winter has gone down the drain.

Shoveling Duty (Limerick)

Monday, January 26th, 2015

Shoveling Duty (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s snowing, alas and alack,
And I just finished shov’ling — can’t slack
During storms this severe.
But I did it. Oh dear!
All the snow I removed has come back.

*****

Blizzard in progress.
I resent New York City
resembling Fargo.

*****

Oboe-playing years
armed my shoulders for shov’ling,
but failed to prep mind.

Springtime Blues

Thursday, March 20th, 2014

Springtime Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s the first day of spring — so they claim,
And I’m searching for someone to blame,
Cuz we’re still in the throes
Of winter, which chose
To give springtime a very bad name.

Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)

Tuesday, January 7th, 2014

Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I live in a town where it’s pleasant to stroll.
We do most of our errands on foot.
But it’s frightfully cold. “Let’s stay home,” I cajole.
Forget milk! Let’s be smart and stay put.

Another Snow Job (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 17th, 2013

Another Snow Job (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Mark, thanks for shov’ling today.
If you hadn’t, that snow’d surely stay
Until I did the chore,
A job I abhor.
It’s more fun to make limerick hay.

Limerick Ode To Groundhog Day

Saturday, February 2nd, 2013

Limerick Ode To Groundhog Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s an animal hogging the news
And casting a shadow on views.
It’s the groundhog, of course:
Our annual source
Of featherbrained seasonal clues.

Happy Groundhog Day! (February 2nd.) And for more groundhog poetry, visit DVerse Poets.

My Reluctant Limerick Ode To Spring

Tuesday, March 20th, 2012

Spring’s here. The weather’s great! I have nothing to bitch about. What’s a poor limerick writer to do?

My Reluctant Limerick Ode To Spring
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In previous years, I would blast:
“Spring’s arrived. Please tell winter it’s passed.
“Cuz it seems not to know —
“We are still getting snow!”
I’m aghast — can’t lambaste — spring came fast.

Wintry Haiku Trio

Friday, February 18th, 2011

Nervous newcomer
slips and falls onto deep snow.
Makes bad impression.

*****

Valiant croci
strain to push through snow’s surface.
All retreat but one.

*****

My tossed-aside snow
returns to the cleared sidewalk.
An icy revenge.

(The first haiku is for the Haiku Heights impression prompt and the second one is for I Saw Sunday.)

Snow Job (A Limerick Duet)

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Who needs to join a gym when you own a home in New York and experience … pardon my French … winter! Cardio? Check. Muscle building? Check. Seriously, there’s nothing quite like lifting a snow-packed shovel way over my head in my quest for a place to dump the damn stuff. I’m talking mountains of snow, some of it still lingering from December.

That brings me to my wintry mix of limericks:

I Need A Landlord, STAT
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While owning a home can be nice,
It isn’t all sugar and spice:
After snow and ice falls
There’s no landlord for calls
About shov’ling. That’s part of the price.

Lamentable Weather
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I know that it sounds like I’m wailing,
But it’s thund’ring and lightening and hailing.
It was snowing all day.
Now an ice storm? Okay,
It’s official. Can’t take it. I’m bailing.

Eclipse Haiku Septet

Tuesday, December 21st, 2010

My post about haiku and senryu put me in the mood to write more haiku. And what better inspiration than this morning’s extremely rare total lunar eclipse/winter solstice combo!

It’s very cold here in New York. But as my husband sleeps, I’ve been outside watching the eclipse, coming indoors periodically to write some lunar eclipse haiku — a total of seven for a total eclipse:

Here they are:

The lunar eclipse
Is just beginning right now.
Moon’s barely dented.

*****

Bundled up, yet chilled,
I watch moon’s vanishing act.
Quarter’s gone missing.

*****

Icy New York air
Mocks me as I moon eclipse.
Glad cops missed my show.

*****

Ventured out again
As solstice moon wastes away,
Mere shadow of self.

*****

Winds howl in protest,
Demanding that the shy moon
Come out of hiding.

*****

The sky teases us
With a hint of yawning light,
As moon awakens.

*****

Moon stages comeback.
Turns out its retirement
Was only a phase.

Just In Time For Chanukah Limerick Audio

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

Just in time for Chanukah, I’ve given Winter Wonderland a new first verse. Feel free to add your own verses, if you’re so inclined. As for me, I’m on the hunt for some chocolate Chanukah gelt. But first I must sing my Chanukah song verse:

Candles lit. Are you looking?
Dreidels spin. Latkas cooking.
Menorahs aglow.
(A mitzvah, you know.)
Chanukah is here. Strike up the band.

Ode To The Weatherman

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

A huge snow storm (perhaps even a blizzard) is about to descend on New York City and has already hit much of the east coast. And that means it’s the weatherman’s time in the sun:

Ode To The Weatherman (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The weatherman’s acting excited:
New York City’s about to be smited
With a snow storm real big,
Which I really don’t dig.
And just why must he look so delighted?

(Note: Yes, I know that the past tense of smite is smote. Artistic license, okay?)

UPDATE: I’ve just learned that today (February 5th) is National Weatherperson’s Day, observed on the birthday of John Jeffries.