Archive for the ‘Inventions Humor’ Category

Brushing Up On Your Holidays

Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

This holiday surely has bite.
People honor it night after night
And each morning, I hope;
At least those who use soap
Should adore “Nylon Toothbrush Day,” right?

Nylon Toothbrush Day is celebrated on February 24th because on February 24, 1938, the first nylon bristle toothbrush, manufactured by DuPont under the name “Dr. West’s Miracle Toothbrush,” went on sale.

Happy Innovation Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 16th, 2016

Innovation does rate an ovation,
But from change I request a vacation.
So much newness unending
Is stressful, mind-bending.
For salvation I crave a cessation.

Happy National Innovation Day. (February 16).

Happy Scotch Tape Day (January 31)

Sunday, January 31st, 2016

Though my mem’ry’s, alas, on the wane,
Here’s a day that should stick to my brain:
It’s for Richard G. Drew.
He did NOT invent glue,
But our bond with his Scotch Tape shall reign.

Happy Scotch Tape Day!

Barbed Limerick

Monday, January 18th, 2016

Happy birthday to barbed wire’s inventor, Joseph Farwell Glidden. (Jan. 18, 1813-Oct. 9, 1906)

If you’d like to stop exit or entry,
Barbed wire can act as your sentry.
This invention by Glidden
Blocks people unbidden–
Quite handy for rich, landed gentry.

Limerick Ode To Drinking Straw Day (Jan. 3)

Saturday, January 2nd, 2016

Few inventions inspire my awe,
But I’m rather impressed with the straw.
Sucking liquid through tubes
Is suggestive of lubes…
Although straw men still stick in my craw.

(National Drinking Straw Day is celebrated on January 3, in honor of Marvin Stone’s January 3, 1888 patent.)

Limerick Ode To Galileo’s Telescope

Thursday, December 3rd, 2015

It’s Telescope Day, celebrated because on December 3, 1621, Galileo announced he’d perfected his telescope. And so, a celebratory limerick:

Galileo perfected in spades
The magnificent gadget that aids
Us in viewing the stars
And the planets, like Mars.
Of course, NOW we need curtains and shades.

Limerick Ode To The Pencil Sharpener (3-Verse)

Monday, November 23rd, 2015

Did anyone else love sharpening pencils as a child? I was reminded of this favorite ritual of mine, when I learned that today’s the anniversary of John Lee Love’s small, portable “Love Sharpener” patent.

Limerick Ode To The Pencil Sharpener
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As a youngster, I’d take much delight
In my writing tools, shiny and bright.
This is how I’d begin:
I’d stick pencils within
A small sharp’ner, my point-making rite.

How I’d rotate each pencil and stare
At its shavings, while taking great care.
And here’s what I’d ask
In my ritual task:
“Please pencil, don’t break. Don’t you dare!”

Cuz turning too much takes its toll
When the pointiest point is your goal.
But I learned over time:
Pencil points quite sublime
Can be Lovingly carved in that hole.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TRUST at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Sunday, June 14th, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using TRUST at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A woman could no longer trust
Her domestic to vacuum or dust.
Yet she did come in handy;
When hubby was randy,
The maid took good care of his lust.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

UPDATE: June 8 is Vacuum Cleaner Day, in honor of Ives W. McGaffey’s June 8, 1869 U.S. patent for the suction vacuum cleaner.

Not Panting To Wear Jeans (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

I find jeans to be patently uncomfortable. But I’m dutifully celebrating the birthday of its patent — granted to Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis on May 20th, 1873:

Call them denims or jeans — I don’t care–
That’s one garment I simply won’t wear.
I don’t buy the appeal
Of its look or its feel,
And I’d rather go naked. Don’t stare!

Limerick Ode to the Zipper (National Zipper Day: April 29)

Wednesday, April 29th, 2015

Limerick Ode to the Zipper (Zipper Day: April 29)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’ll bet Gideon Sundback felt chipper
When designing the modern-day zipper–
An invention surpassin’
The old ways to fasten…
And a slick trick to hook a big tipper.

Elephant Dung Coffee Beans? I’ll Pass! (Limerick)

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

Elephant Dung Coffee Beans? I’ll Pass! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This brew concept’s hard to digest.
It’s a crappy plan — far from the best:
Amp up elephant mash
With coffee beans. Rash?
Grab a stool and retrieve. Have a fest!

*****

Yes, Canadian entrepreneur Blake Dinkin produces Black Ivory Coffee in Thailand’s “Golden Triangle” via elephant dung. Of course his website describes it rather more genteelly as “Naturally refined by elephants and made from 100% Thai Arabica coffee beans.”

*****

I previously wrote about Chinese panda-dung giftware on my other blog.

Limerick Ode To Aviation Day (August 19)

Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

Limerick Ode To Aviation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

On this day, aviation shines bright;
Brother Orville, a father of flight,
Gets a birthday ovation
By prez proclamation.
Those who think today’s special are (w)right.

Smarting from “Smart Shoes” (Limerick)

Monday, August 4th, 2014

Do we really need “smart shoes” that will vibrate us in the right direction using Google Maps? Ducere Technologies thinks so.

Smarting from “Smart Shoes” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear shoemakers, please have a heart.
I do NOT want my shoes to be smart.
I just want them to feel
(both my sole and my heel)
Like they’re not out for blood from the start.

Genius? Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)

Saturday, July 19th, 2014

Harvard students cook up another great idea: cake from a can.

Genius? Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Kindly can any concept of cake
That you spray from a can and then bake.
Though I’m loath to be curt,
I’ll desert a dessert
That spews forth from a can. Won’t partake!

Would You Waste Your Bread On This?

Friday, July 18th, 2014

Would You Waste Your Bread On This?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Are you burning for your photo
To appear on toasted bread?
Do you sense that such a portrait
Might just help you get ahead?

Well, a spanking new invention
May be just the thing you need:
There’s a selfie-making toaster.
Butter egos … and then feed.

Limerick Drill (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, July 5th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was wielding his drill…*

or

A teacher was trying to drill…*

or

The experienced clerk knew the drill…*

or

A fellow had loaned out his drill…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Drill
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As the dentist was wielding his drill,
He yelled at his patient, “Sit still!”
Then he bellowed with gravity,
“God-awful cavity!
It’s nearly as large as my bill.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

UPDATE: On January 26 we celebrate the anniversary of George Green’s 1875 electric dental drill patent. Okay … perhaps “celebrate” is the wrong word.

This Invention Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)

Saturday, June 14th, 2014

This Invention Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m vexed and a little perplexed
By the concept of smells sent by text.
I do not mean to vent,
But don’t send me a scent,
Or our friendship is apt to be exed.

(Harvard engineering professor David Edwards and co-inventor Rachel Fields have invented an aromatic mobile messaging device called an oPhone that sends and receives scents.)

Limerick Ode To The Stove

Wednesday, June 11th, 2014

Limerick Ode To The Stove
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A stove is a handy device.
For cooking, some say, it works nice.
I can’t speak to that fact,
For I don’t interact
Well with kitchens. I can, though, boil rice.

Today in Kitchen History: On June 11, 1793, Robert Haeterick was granted the first American stove patent for a stove design of cast iron.

Limerick Ode To the ATM

Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

Limerick Ode To The ATM
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The money withdrawing machine
Is a temptress that often seems keen
On increasing our spending.
My balance needs mending!
Oh, what has become of my green?

Happy birthday to Don Wetzel’s Automated Teller Machine! (A patent for the ATM was granted to Donald Wetzel, Tom Barnes and George Chastain on June 4, 1973.)

Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart

Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sylvan Goldman designed something smart;
He invented the food shopping cart.
With its basket, it aids
In a task that pervades
All our lives — buying stuff at the mart.

On June 4, 1937, Humpty Dumpty supermarket chain owner Sylvan Goldman introduced his invention, the shopping cart, in Oklahoma City.

The invention did not catch on immediately. Men found them effeminate; women found them suggestive of a baby carriage. “I’ve pushed my last baby buggy,” offended women informed him. After hiring several male and female models to push his new invention around his store and demonstrate their utility, as well as greeters to explain their use, his folding-style shopping carts became extremely popular and Goldman became a multimillionaire by collecting a royalty on every folding design shopping cart in the United States.