Archive for the ‘Writing & Publishing Humor’ Category

Yet Another “Punctuation Day” Limerick

Saturday, September 24th, 2022

How to punctuate: That is the query.
Ill-timed marks can be irksome and dreary.
Bangs, ellipses, and dashes
Add drama in flashes.
Overuse is abusive!!! — Be leery!!!!!

(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)

Lusting For Lusty Limericks? (Limerick)

Monday, September 12th, 2022

Must a lim’rick be bawdy and lusty?
Has that “rule” become mis’rably musty?
I like lims of all kinds
From both lewd and chaste minds,
Even those just a tad upper crusty.

Today’s Rhyming Challenge (Limerick)

Monday, September 5th, 2022

Sometimes I challenge myself by using a hard-to-rhyme word in a limerick. In today’s case, it’s “latrinalia,” which means stuff written or drawn on bathroom walls.

Now before you say, “Lots of things rhyme with latrinalia, according to Rhymezone,” let me add that Rhymezone is WRONG!

Since the Final Stressed Syllable of latrinalia is NAL, true rhyme words must end in “alia” preceded by a Different Consonant, such as AuSTRalia, or mamMalia, or reGalia, or the two words I use in this limerick:

If you happen to read latrinalia,
You won’t find any sesquipedalia,
You’ll see swear words and gripes
Writ by marginal types,
But no poems inspired by Thalia.

What Makes Me Laugh (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 17th, 2022

The lim’ricks I’m likely to pick
As winners grab on to me quick.
I get kicks when they’re punny
And clever and funny
Skillful wordplay will oft do the trick.

Writer’s Lament (Limerick)

Monday, July 25th, 2022

I prefer not to grumble or whine,
But alas, I can’t seem to refine
The end of this verse.
And to make matters worse,
My muse’s behavior’s malign.

Wallowing In Fatigue (Limerick)

Friday, July 22nd, 2022

Some archaic words cry out for a comeback and “forwallowed” is one of them. (It means “weary from tossing and turning all night.”)

I tossed and I turned through the night,
So I’m suff’ring insomnia’s blight.
My energy’s hollowed.
I’m feeling forwallowed…
And hope I recall how to write.

Musing About My Muse (3-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, June 16th, 2022

I’ve been trying to write, but in vain;
My muse has escaped from my brain.
It started last night
With a rip-roaring fight,
When I called something “trite and inane.”

“You should give me more credit!” she said.
“I work hard while you’re sleeping in bed.”
I called my muse “greedy,”
“Ill-humored,” and “needy.”
She said, “You’ll be sorry,” then fled.

She was right, for she’s great with a wry line,
And fine at supplying a sly line.
So I’m begging: Come back!
I’ll be nice. No more flak!
But dear muse, you’re not getting a byline!

Not Celebrating Asparagus (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 24th, 2022

It’s “Asparagus Day.” I’m no fan,
Though of course I’m not pushing a ban.
Why’s “asparagus” tossed
Mid-line, where it’s lost?
I could NOT make it rhyme right or scan.

Defending The Limerick

Thursday, May 12th, 2022

In honor of Limerick Day, I’ve written Defending The Limerick:

Some poets deem lim’ricks inferior,
Claiming THEIR kind of verse is superior.
I suspect they lack wit.
Can they rhyme? Not a bit!
I conclude they have motives ulterior.

Unwanted Advice (2-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, May 7th, 2022

Said a smart-ass: “Your lim’rick is marred,
Cuz you’ve used the phrase ‘feathered and tarred,’
And that’s backwards! It’s ‘tarred
And feathered.’” On guard
Against humorless ‘helpers.’ They’re barred!

And to folks who have no sense of humor,
Whether Gen-X or Z or a boomer,
You have lim’rick advice?
Please don’t give it. Think twice;
It’s as welcome as Covid or tumor!

Unruly Limericks (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 12th, 2022

There are times when I feel like a fraud,
As I stare at a lim’rick that’s flawed
And can’t manage to fix it.
Instead, I must nix it;
Its issues can NOT be ignawed!

A Writer’s Woes (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 12th, 2022

Said a frustrated man with a curse,
“My quest to get published was worse
Than I ever expected.”
He sounded dejected,
But nixed giving chapter and verse.

More Idiom Idiocy (Limerick)

Monday, April 4th, 2022

To cross ev’ry “T” ain’t just fine;
It’s required — not merely benign.
But by crossing a “U,”
You have set it askew…
And in fact you are crossing the line.

My Quarter-Year Resolution (Limerick)

Friday, April 1st, 2022

I am tired of meter and rhyming!
I have HAD it with assonant timing!
No more lim’ricks! I’m done!
My new way to have fun
Will be something outdoorsy — rock climbing.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DRONES at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: March 5, 2022)

Saturday, February 19th, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRONES at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to REJECTION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best REJECTION-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 6, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 5, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my DRONES-rhyme limerick:

The anatomy prof provokes groans;
He tells anecdotes (endless) and drones.
Students stare at the clock,
Read their email, and mock
Him for tales that are never bare bones.

And here’s my REJECTION-themed limerick:

A man had a bee in his bonnet
About writing a humorous sonnet.
No one cared for his style,
So he built a flop-pile
Of rejections and plopped down upon it.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Happy “Read Aloud Day!” (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2022

I’m a big believer in reading one’s limericks aloud to check for errors. And since it’s “World Read Aloud Day” (celebrated on the first Wednesday of February) I have a good excuse to post this limerick:

Reading lim’ricks aloud can be useful.
You may find that your meter’s abuseful.
Have you broken rhyme-laws?
(Your eye can miss flaws.)
So try it, and don’t be excuseful.

Is Rhyming Addictive? (Limerick)

Friday, January 14th, 2022

When I dream up a rhyme, I must grab it.
I will break up my sleep, just to nab it.
In the midst of a shower,
I’ll write “whiskey sour.” —
Can’t conquer this powerful habit.

My Slant On “Slant Rhyme” (Limerick)

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

From time to time, people who enter my limerick contests (and others), ask me my opinion of “slant rhyme” a/k/a “near rhyme.” I have very strong feelings on the subject, as you can see from this limerick:

That thing that some limmers call “slant rhyme,”
Doesn’t sing; it just means that you can’t rhyme.
My slant on the matter?
Avoid “slant rhyme” clatter.
And THAT is the end of my rant rhyme.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RIGHT or WRITE or RITE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 8, 2022)

Saturday, December 25th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RIGHT or WRITE or RITE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SHOTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SHOTS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 9, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 8, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my RIGHT or WRITE or RITE-rhyme limerick:

I do NOT do a lot of conversing;
Too much small talk will likely spur cursing.
Why prattle, or fight?
I would much rather write
And indulge in some rhyme-world immersing.

And here’s my SHOTS-themed limerick:

“My boss enjoys calling the shots.
And he likes to tie staff up in knots.
He’s a dim bulb and dolt,
Who once caused a revolt.
Seems at birth he was shorted some watts.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Cruise or Crews or Cruse at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 27, 2021)

Sunday, November 14th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Cruise or Crews or Cruse at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Retirement, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Retirement-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 28, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 27, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my CRUISE or CREWS or CRUSE-rhyme limerick:

My muse often gives me the blues.
When I ask her for help, she’ll refuse.
She’ll mock me and roast me
And frequently ghost me.
She’s AWOL right now — on a cruise.

And here’s my RETIREMENT-themed limerick:

“It is best to acknowledge the truth
And retire; you’re way past your youth,”
Said a gal to her spouse,
Who’s a dentist. “Don’t grouse!
Just face facts: You are long in the tooth.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!