Archive for the ‘Writing & Publishing Humor’ Category

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BITE or BYTE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: August 10, 2019)

Saturday, July 27th, 2019

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BITE or BYTE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to THREATS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best THREAT-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on August 11, 2019 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 10, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my BITE/BYTE-rhyme limerick:

A fellow who’d spent his last dime
On a reference book about rhyme,
Wrote light verse day and night.
Some was trite. Some had bite.
But none sold, so he moved on to crime.

And here’s my THREAT-themed limerick:

“Kindly don’t call me ‘Ms.’ Call me ‘Miss,’
Said a gal with a rather loud hiss.
“All that feminist crap
Makes me sick,” went her rap.
“And I’ll sue you cuz ‘Ms.’ is a diss.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

About Edward Lear’s Last Lines (Limerick)

Sunday, May 12th, 2019

Happy birthday Edward Lear and happy Limerick Day! But about those redundant Lear last lines:

This limerick lacks a good ending.
And please note that I’m sure not defending
Any Lear final line.
(Are they dull by design?)
This limerick lacks a good ending.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CHORD or CORD or CORED or ACCORD at the end of any one line

Saturday, January 5th, 2019

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CHORD or CORD or CORED or ACCORD at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TREES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TREE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on Sunday, January 20, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 19, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A poet, quite broke, who felt stuck
Had a muse who was running amok.
So he got a large board
And some thick, heavy cord,
Then wrote: “Terrible Verse for a Buck.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

New Year’s Eve Limerick Trio

Monday, December 31st, 2018

New Year’s Toast:

The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.

*****
Resolution Disclaimer:

Resolutions ain’t sticky, I fear,
Be it sugar, tobacco or beer.
If you’ve broken that pledge,
Please don’t be on edge.
No worries! There’s always NEXT year.

*****

Drunken Limerick:

Can I write silly verse after drinking?
Let’s see. Wait a second — I’m thinking.
Can’t come up with a verse
Or a rhyme. Even worse,
I suspect that this limerick’s stinking.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CRY or DECRY at the end of any one line

Saturday, September 29th, 2018

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CRY or DECRY at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TOOLS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TOOL-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on October 14, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 13, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

There are limerick writers whose brow
Is as low as a pub will allow.
Tasteful others reach high
And at times will decry
Evil acts, broken vows, harmful chow.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Grinds

Friday, September 7th, 2018

Kindly don’t cast aspersions on minds
That labor as limerick grinds,
Battling rhymers for glory
With puns sometimes hoary,
Competing while on their behinds.

What Me? A Stickler?

Wednesday, June 20th, 2018

With language I’ve never been fickle,
But when told that I frequently stickle,
As I fight over usage
And language-abusage,
I’ll deny it as any tough chick’ll.

Hooked On Rhyming (Limerick)

Thursday, September 7th, 2017

I’m a rhymer, a limerick drafter,
A chronic light-poetry crafter.
I’ve been labeled a “card,”
And called “daft,” but not “bard.”
What’s my target? Grins, giggles, and laughter.

A Holiday For Haiku? (Limerick)

Monday, April 17th, 2017

“Haiku Poetry Day?” That sounds lame!
And redundancy’s surely to blame.
Be concise! That’s no vice;
Won’t “Haiku Day” suffice?
Terse verses deserve a short name.

Happy Haiku Poetry Day! (April 17)

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: COP at the end of any one line

Sunday, January 8th, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using COP at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to the blues, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best blues-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 22, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 21, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

“I’m compelled to write lim’ricks. Can’t stop!
“I keep popping out rhymes till I drop.
“When I drive they continue
“To spew from each sinew…”
“What a screwball excuse!” said the cop.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To National Proofreading Day (March 8)

Tuesday, March 8th, 2016

Today we should celebrate proofreading.
While not fool-proof, it helps avert goof reading.
And, like many, I’m vexed
By typo-strewn text
Found in poetry, fiction, and spoof reading.

Happy National Proofreading Day!

Open Limerick to Super Bowl Fans

Sunday, February 7th, 2016

If the game goes from boring to worse,
Don’t bother to sob or to curse.
Sublimation works well.
Be creative as hell:
Snap some photos, sketch, paint, or write verse.

PS: My latest Limerick-Off challenge has just begun. You can find it here.

Limerick Ode To The Pencil Sharpener (3-Verse)

Monday, November 23rd, 2015

Did anyone else love sharpening pencils as a child? I was reminded of this favorite ritual of mine, when I learned that today’s the anniversary of John Lee Love’s small, portable “Love Sharpener” patent.

Limerick Ode To The Pencil Sharpener
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As a youngster, I’d take much delight
In my writing tools, shiny and bright.
This is how I’d begin:
I’d stick pencils within
A small sharp’ner, my point-making rite.

How I’d rotate each pencil and stare
At its shavings, while taking great care.
And here’s what I’d ask
In my ritual task:
“Please pencil, don’t break. Don’t you dare!”

Cuz turning too much takes its toll
When the pointiest point is your goal.
But I learned over time:
Pencil points quite sublime
Can be Lovingly carved in that hole.

Anti-Antimeria, No More? (Limerick)

Thursday, November 19th, 2015

A Slate language column by Katy Waldman has me re-thinking my anti-antimeria stance. (Antimeria is a “rhetorical device that repurposes a word as a different part of speech than usual.”)

Her column makes some solid points about antimeria’s advantages. In fact, the device may even prove to be handy for humor writing.

Katy’s viewpoint may generate frowns:
Turning nouns into verbs, verbs to nouns
Is extolled by that writer.
Though some may indict ’er,
The thought ain’t as bad as it soun’s.

Post-Paris Depression? (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 18th, 2015

Since Paris, it’s hard to be funny.
I’m too bummed to write wit on the money.
But I’d never suggest
That jesting is best
Drawn from joy, cuz I’m rarely THAT sunny.

Just In Time For Book Lovers Day (Limerick)

Saturday, November 7th, 2015

Just in time for Book Lovers Day, celebrated both on the first Saturday of November and on August 9:

Like most of my friends I love books,
And I don’t want to read them on Nooks
Or other devices;
Real paper entices.
Don’t dare give me pity-filled looks!

Anti-Enjambment Limerick Rant

Thursday, November 5th, 2015

I’m begging you, please be a lamb
And do NOT use this type of enjamb-
Ment: With syllable hyphen-
Ization, you siphon
Off beauty from verse. It’s a scam.

The Crime Of “Near Rhyme” (Limerick)

Monday, September 28th, 2015

When trying to rhyme, a dead end
Just might daunt you and tempt you to bend
Lim’rick rules just a bit,
Giving sticklers a fit.
Don’t descend to near rhyming. Forfend!

Limerick Ode To Bad Poetry Day (August 18)

Tuesday, August 18th, 2015

Limerick Ode To “Bad Poetry Day” (3-Verse)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Bad Poetry Day” is today,
But I’d rather keep bad verse at bay.
Writing poorly on purpose
Would seem to usurp us
And lead to poetic decay.

I contend that it’s hard to deny
We write badly enough when we try
To create something clever
Or sweet, or endeavor
To craft something witty or wry.

This very 3-verser of mine
Provides proof of my point. Ev’ry line
Should be thrown in the can.
But I just got a plan:
I shall claim that it’s bad by design.

Sundry Haiku

Saturday, July 11th, 2015

I’d like the freedom
to not write haiku today,
but my brain insists.

*****

I am at the stage
where I like being on stage
with or without one.

*****

My near-rhyme rejects
turned limerick leftovers
find homes in haiku.

*****

I’m often impressed
by the drawing power
of unknown painters.

*****

Forgive and forget?
I keep meaning to forgive,
but I forget to.

*****

Your belief system
makes you feel superior?
Then it’s failing you.

*****

My muse goes yonder
as I wander in wonder
at time I squander.

*****

Spiders and crawlers
are welcome in my domain
if sent by Google.

*****

I should have prepared
for extemporization
but ran out of time.

*****

Music needs pauses;
I get restless when a piece
doesn’t have any.

*****