Archive for the ‘Writing & Publishing Humor’ Category

The Haughty Professor (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

A haughty old prof who wore tweed
Taught the classics (stuff most folks don’t read.)
A fine poet of note,
The man furtively wrote
Naughty lim’ricks with fervor and speed.

(Tweed Day falls annually on April 3rd.)

The Pros(e) And Cons Of English (Limerick)

Sunday, March 31st, 2024

Written English is often bemusing
And it’s frequently downright confusing.
But it can be the source
Of fun wordplay, of course…
When my lazy-ass muse isn’t snoozing.

NOT Folderol (Limerick)

Saturday, November 18th, 2023

No matter how much I may dodder
And appear to be naught but a plodder,
I hereby guarantee
That I always shall be
On the lookout for limerick fodder.

Gratitude? (Limerick)

Thursday, November 16th, 2023

When my verse writes itself, I am grateful.
Out of nowhere it flows, feeling fateful;
No struggles with rhyme,
No battles with time.
Now if only it came by the crateful!

A Writer’s Lament (Limerick)

Thursday, September 7th, 2023

I need to be funny today.
But, alas, I have nothing to say.
I can’t even concoct
A cute couplet; none’s stocked.
And my brain says, “I’m blocked. Go away!”

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BOARD or BORED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 16, 2023)

Saturday, August 19th, 2023

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOARD or BORED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PITCH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PITCH-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SINK, REFUSE, DAWN, ALARMING, CROWD.

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on September 17, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 16, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my BOARD or BORED-Rhyme Limerick:

When a man reached an online accord
To buy wood, he was certain he’d scored.
But, alas, he had not;
He’d been duped by a bot
That sent rot and was NOT above board.

And here’s my PITCH-Themed Limerick:

Her singing was heartfelt and loud.
(With great volume that gal’s well-endowed.)
But her pitch was so sad,
The conductor (her dad)
Told his fans “It’s my bad,” as he bowed.

And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:

It’s pre-dawn. I’m in front of the sink,
Washing up, while attempting to think
Of a rhyme. But my muse
Yawned and said, “I refuse.
Don’t abuse me. I’m NOT in the pink!”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Embracing The Rules (Limerick)

Thursday, July 13th, 2023

Lim’rick rules feel confining to some.
But I love them; they make my brain hum.
I embrace their constraints,
And I have no complaints…
Except when I fail and feel dumb.

Prank Gone Wrong (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, July 11th, 2023

An illustrious author named Frank
Said “I’ll stop writing books” as a prank.
Many fans called him “Quitter,”
Strew hate-posts on Twitter
And Threads, wished him dead, said he stank.

“You flamers should all be ashamed!
I was joking,” Frank quickly proclaimed.
“But because of your bitching,
Right now I am switching
My genre. And YOU shall be blamed!”

Limerick Message To Self

Sunday, June 25th, 2023

Writing lim’ricks requires precision.
Ev’ry rhyming flaw begs for derision.
And the same goes for meter,
So don’t be a cheater!
Wit’s AWOL? I need more revision!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LIGHT or DELIGHT at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: June 24, 2023)

Saturday, May 27th, 2023

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LIGHT or DELIGHT at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TEACHERS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TEACHER-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: JOINT, LOVELY, NAP, TAX, CONQUER.

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on June 25, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 24, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my LIGHT/DELIGHT-Rhyme Limerick:

I enjoy writing verse that is light,
Although many poo-poo it as trite.
And I happily slave
Over lim’ricks — my fav.
They’re well worth it, when written just right.

And here’s my TEACHER-Themed Limerick:

The schoolteacher, usually nice,
Could be scary at times – cold as ice.
And her tone, when provoked,
Went from mellow to stoked
With a furious “THAT WILL SUFFICE!”

And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:

“How I long to be able to nap
Just like those who can sleep in a snap.
As for me, there’s no point
In trying. Each joint
In my body shrieks ‘Don’t bother, chap!'”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Night Writing (Quatrain)

Friday, May 5th, 2023

On lim’rick verse I often toil,
Compelled to burn the midnight oil.
And when my writing’s all for naught,
My sleep is fraught; I rock and roil.

Marital Squabble (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 25th, 2023

“I’ll get rid of that wasp nest. I’m on it!”
Said a man who was writing a sonnet.
“But you’re being a pest!
My verse has me stressed,
And I’m sick of that bee in your bonnet.”

I’m Interviewed by Michael Croland of Dover Publications, on the Topic of Acrostic Limericks

Friday, April 21st, 2023

I was honored to be interviewed by Michael Croland, of Dover Publications, on the topic of Acrostic Limericks. His piece includes eight of my acrostic limericks, in addition to my thoughts about the challenges of adding an acrostic element to a verse form that already has more than its share of rhyme and meter rules.

So, if you have any interest in acrostic limericks, or acrostic poetry in general, you should enjoy Croland’s article, “ACROSTIC LIMERICKS: A HYBRID OF TWO FORMS.”

NOTE: Croland’s most recent book, There Once Was a Limerick Anthology, was published by Dover Publications in August 2022, and his next book, Acrostic Poetry: The First-Ever Anthology, will be published by Dover in August 2023. 

My Adventures with AI Bots Bard and ChatGPT

Wednesday, April 19th, 2023

Yesterday, I had a rather disturbing experience while playing with one of the sundry AI bots. It confirmed a concern I had the minute I started hearing about all those sundry technological “marvels.”

Google’s BARD, recently featured on 60 Minutes, was the one I was experimenting with yesterday. (I’d previously spent a little bit of time with ChatGPT and found (much to my relief) that it was terrible at creating limericks.

Anyway, yesterday I asked BARD to “write a limerick in the style of Edward Lear.” Almost immediately, it responded with an excellent and very famous limerick generally attributed to this fellow: Arthur Henry Reginald Buller.

Here’s the limerick, which many of you are likely to recognize:

“There once was a lady named Bright,
Whose speed was far faster than light;
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.”

(The bot did NOT credit any author.)

I gave this response a negative review and, when asked why, I explained that the limerick was completely plagiarized.

I then asked BARD to write a limerick about Donald Trump, wondering if it would steal another limerick. Instead, it responded “I’m a text-based AI and can’t assist with that.”

Finally, I asked BARD for a limerick about the weather. It churned out three limericks that were lousy, but not nearly as bad as the ones produced by CHATGPT. In both cases, a quick Google search didn’t yield any evidence of theft. On the other hand, if they were stolen, they were stolen from very bad and (hopefully) obscure limerick writers.

UPDATE: A friend suggested I try the same query again, but add the word “original.” So just now I posted this request to BARD: “Write an original limerick in the style of Edward Lear.” Alas, it churned out the same famous limerick that it “wrote” yesterday. So not only did the word “original” make no difference, but the bot failed to learn from yesterday’s negative comment.

Acrostic Limerick Quartet

Saturday, April 15th, 2023

For an upcoming interview, I was asked why I hadn’t written any acrostic limericks since 2015. The question surprised me, because I was certain this couldn’t be true. As it turns out, I’ve written quite a few since then, but never got around to posting them on this blog. For instance, here’s a quartet of acrostic limericks I wrote in 2019 for a contest, but forgot (until now) to post on my blog:


I’m alarmed when mosquitoes come near.
They adore me, I fear. Ev’ry year,
Come what may, I get bitten.
How come? Cuz they’re smitten.
Yes, THAT’S why I’m scratching my rear.

An acrostical challenge in verse
Leads this poet to mutter and curse;
Penning lines so constrained
Has my mind frazzled, pained,
As each version, perversely, is worse.

Anxiety’s cloud, oh so dense;
Neurosis can make you feel tense.
Getting out of your chair
(Somehow going somewhere)
Tends to help, so let healing commence.

How I love to draw laughs or a smile,
Using lim’ricks to banish the bile
Many people amass.
Only wit helps it pass;
Rhymed verse … for when life’s feeling vile.

Deadline Poet (Limerick)

Saturday, April 8th, 2023

“I’m on deadline! Must generate verse,”
I admonish myself with a curse.
Is a lim’rick emergent?
Time’s short, so it’s urgent…
Seems my muse needs a doctor or nurse.

Meta Limerick?

Sunday, March 19th, 2023

My humor is subtle at times,
And those are my fav’rites – my “primes.”
But I also will stoop
To what some might call “poop” –
In despair, I’ll just go for the rhymes.

Happy Proofreading Day! (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 8th, 2023

A limerick for National Proofreading Day:

It’s “National Proofreading Day,”
A reminder to keep flubs at bay.
Uncaught flaws in my verse
Are dismaying; I curse
At my lapses on shameful display.

Aligning My Verse (Haiku and Limerick)

Monday, February 20th, 2023

Using the poetry prompt “align,” I turned my haiku into a limerick:

A prompt’s been assigned.
Should Rhymezone-dot-com be mined?
My rhymes are aligned.

***

A poetry prompt’s been assigned.
Rhymezone tempts me with rhymes to be mined.
I could write some haiku,
But I’ve lim’ricks to do.
Must ensure that my rhymes are aligned.

Non-Erased Memory (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 24th, 2023

Though I’ve tried to, I cannot erase
My mem’ry of messes I’d face
When I needed to fix
Penciled words. (I was six.)
Defacement would follow apace.