“I am desp’rate to chill and unwind
And escape from a terrible bind.
I need help from above,
For I’ve met my true love . . .
But I’m stumped by her razor-sharp mind.”
Archive for the ‘Dating Humor’ Category
Love-Sick? (Limerick)
Saturday, August 22nd, 2026Clinging To Singlehood (Limerick)
Thursday, August 13th, 2026An attractive young gal, nicknamed Red,
Has avowed that she’ll never be wed.
Ev’ry fellow she dates
Tends to cling, which she hates.
So she favors “brief flings.” . . . Enough said!
Replacement Theory? (Limerick)
Saturday, June 13th, 2026“I’m afraid that I’ll soon be replaced
By AI, though I always have aced
My reviews at the job,”
Said a guy, with a sob…
“So I need a rich lover post-haste!”
Lost Cause? (Limerick)
Friday, May 15th, 2026Please don’t tell me to go with the flow,
That you don’t need directions, dear beau.
Your assurance, you see,
Is no comfort to me.
You are lost. It’s my home. I should know!
A Class(ic) Tale? (Limerick)
Saturday, September 6th, 2025A fellow who longed to enhance
His chances at love and romance,
Took a ballroom dance class,
But did NOT meet a lass:
Only men who ALREADY could dance.
Tricky Magician (Limerick)
Saturday, May 17th, 2025That magician is handsome and nice.
But I only went out with him twice:
He’s obsessed with The Matrix
And kept doing date tricks.
I HATE tricks, so date him? No dice!
The Engagement (Limerick)
Friday, April 25th, 2025When my boyfriend proposed, mom was pleased:
“No returns, no exchanges,” she teased.
She was thrilled with our match,
For she thought him a catch…
And her “old maid” concerns were appeased.
Bad Taste? (Limerick)
Saturday, April 27th, 2024“Tell me, why are you dating that bum?”
Said a gal to her strict-vegan chum.
“Yes, that fellow’s no saint,
But the man sure can paint!
Plus the guy has a very green thumb.”
Sisterly Advice (Limerick)
Thursday, March 7th, 2024“Is that fellow the best you can get?
I’m concerned and perplexed and upset,
Also worried and puzzled.
The guy should be muzzled!
You want a wild beast? Get a pet!”
Gunning For Trouble? (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 28th, 2024“At the moment we met, I was charmed.
But my mood swiftly moved to alarmed
When my date turned irate
Without cause, while she ate,
As she brandished hard proof she was armed.”
A Close Call (Limerick)
Friday, September 29th, 2023A musician enjoying a fling
With a gal, almost bought her a ring.
What changed the man’s mind?
He was saddened to find
She mistakenly thinks she can sing.
The Confession (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 27th, 2023Said a gal to her closest friend Jean:
“Did you sleep with my boyfriend? Come clean!”
Jean confessed: “Don’t be pissed!
I told him, ‘Desist!’
Seems his language skills aren’t too keen.”
Foiled Romance (Limerick)
Monday, July 31st, 2023A young man who, alas, had no game,
Was rebuffed by a cold-hearted dame:
“You’ve no shot at romance
Not with me! Not at chance,
Like I told you the last time you came!”
Dull Dates (Limerick)
Friday, May 12th, 2023“A conventional man – Wayne’s his name –
Was for four years my regular flame.
Then I dated a guy
Even duller; that’s why
It is back to “Square 1″ for this dame.”
Relationship On The Rocks (Limerick)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2023Delores and Bill, once an item,
Had a fight. Now she won’t even write ’im
A text saying “hi,”
Or an angry “GOODBYE!”
She explains: “Can’t abide him, so BITE ’IM!”
Lustful Limerick
Monday, December 12th, 2022A gal was impressed by the thrust
Of an argument made against lust.
But the man who had made it
Had mated or dated
Each person in town with a bust.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BLUE or BLEW at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 7, 2023)
Saturday, December 10th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BLUE or BLEW at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELIGION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELIGION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: NAME, NAUSEOUS, PROFIT, TEASE, SILVER.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 8, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 7, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BLUE or BLEW-Rhyme Limerick:
A litigious old fellow was blue.
His friends (he had only a few)
Asked “Why the bad mood?”
The response from that dude
Was “I’ve run out of people to sue!”
And here’s my RELIGION-Themed Limerick:
A man of the cloth would not share
His frank with his date at the fair.
“That’s unfair,” she cried out.
“I gave you my kraut.
So canoodle tonight? Not a prayer!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
There is someone I could (but won’t) name
Who makes me feel nauseous. My aim
Isn’t testing or teasing;
He’s just so displeasing,
I’d rather not add to his fame.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Half-Baked Limerick
Friday, September 30th, 2022A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”
(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)
Foiled Romance (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 5th, 2022A young lass liked a fellow a lot,
But his anti-vax views were a blot.
So she thwarted his pass
When she grasped that, alas,
He would never give vaxes a shot.
