Posts Tagged ‘September Holidays’

Yet Another World Rhino Day Limerick

Saturday, September 22nd, 2018

There once was a newlywed rhino
Who discovered her mate was a wino.
“We’re endangered,” she’d curse.
“Your damn wine makes it worse!”
“White wine’s fine,” he replied. “I’m albino.”

(My first rhino limerick is here. It’s included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World.)

Happy World Rhino Day! (September 22)

Goose Day (Limerick)

Thursday, September 29th, 2016

A farmer who tried to produce
A plausible, timely excuse
For gambling away
His nest egg, today
Came up empty, self-cooking his goose.

Happy Goose Day! (September 29)

Celebrate Punch Day? Not Me!

Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

Serving punch at your party or brunch?
It won’t go with whatever we munch.
You apparently think
It’s a heavenly drink,
But it’s not. Please desist. Thanks a bunch.

Happy Punch Day!

Limerick Gibberish

Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

It’s Gibberish Day, which seems silly;
Throwing language around willy-nilly
Doesn’t make any sense
And it’s sickening. Hence,
Of such talk I’m constrained to speak illy.

Happy Defy Superstition Day – Sept. 13

Tuesday, September 13th, 2016

I wrote this limerick in honor of Defy Superstition Day:

On this day, let’s defy superstitions;
We should spurn all those stern admonitions
About opals, black cats,
Mirrors, ladders, and hats.
Play it safe, though: Avoid politicians.

Wife Appreciation Day Limerick (3rd Sunday of September)

Wednesday, September 17th, 2014

Attention fellows! This coming Sunday is a very important holiday. Yes, I know I’m a bit early. But for a day like this, I’m betting you could use some extra notice: National Wife Appreciation Day.

Limerick Ode To Wife Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

On September’s third Sunday it’s wise
To appreciate wives. They’re a prize
You should cherish and treasure.
They give so much pleasure.
Beg pardon? RESPECTIVE wives, guys!

Happy National Punctuation Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Happy National Punctuation Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When you punctuate, please don’t be rash.
Over-use can turn prose into ash.
And a comma misplaced
Lays your writing to waste.
Mark my words … or your readers shall dash.

(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)

Limerick Ode To Aluminum Foil

Monday, September 16th, 2013

According to Foodimentary, the first aluminum foil, Reynolds Metals ‘Reynolds Wrap’, went on sale September 16, 1947.

Limerick Ode To Aluminum Foil
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Happy birthday, aluminum foil,
Often used after cookery toil.
But recycling is tricky;
You tend to get sticky,
Bringing folks who are green to a boil.

Limerick Ode To Blame Someone Else Day

Friday, September 13th, 2013

Happy “Blame Someone Else Day.” (It falls on the first Friday the 13th of the year.)

Limerick Ode To “Blame Someone Else Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m searching for someone to blame
For my failure to loudly proclaim
That “Today can be used
To excuse the accused,”
Giving “Blame Someone Else Day” due fame.

Bald Limerick

Friday, September 13th, 2013

Happy “Bald Is Beautiful Day.” (September 13)

Bald Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A hot woman was very enthralled
With a man who was totally bald.
It wasn’t his smarts
Or his charm or his parts,
But the central AC he’d installed.

Update: Air Conditioning Appreciation days run from July 3 to August 15.

Limerick Ode To National Beer Lover’s Day

Saturday, September 7th, 2013

Happy National Beer Lover’s Day! (September 7th)

Limerick Ode To National Beer Lover’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Beer Lover’s Day” is today.
Do I plan to imbibe some? No way.
Its bouquet makes me ail
And turn pale, and I fail
To favor its flavor. So nay!

Limerick Ode To Labor Day

Saturday, August 31st, 2013

Limerick Ode To Labor Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I task myself: “Don’t be a jerk.
Pen a holiday piece. Do not shirk!
It’s your job to write rhyme.”
But my oeuvre’s a crime,
And my Labor Day lim’ricks don’t work.

Happy World Rhino Day!

Friday, September 21st, 2012

Tomorrow, September 22nd, is World Rhino Day. And I’m very pleased to announce that my Limerick Ode To The Rhinoceros is included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World. And that it was one of five of the anthology’s poems read at a World Rhino Day celebration in Grahamstown, South Africa.

Limerick Ode To The Rhinoceros
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The rhino appears prehistoric,
With a diet that’s vega-caloric.
It’s endangered, alas.
Laws to save it must pass.
This would make all its lovers euphoric.

UPDATE: May 1 is Save The Rhino Day.

Depressing Haiku of the Day

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

Labor Day’s coming —
the jobless labor to find
cause to celebrate.

Sorry about the downer haiku. To compensate, here are two old humor columns of mine: Just In Time For Labor Day, Some Job Interview Humor and Working Stiffed.

Happy National Punctuation Day — Two Days Late

Sunday, September 26th, 2010

Somehow I managed to miss National Punctuation Day on Sept 24th. “Shame on me!”

Oh my — I just used an exclamation point! And I did it again!

As you can tell from my limerick, I’m not a big fan of the exclamation point, a/k/a the bang.

STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame.
I abuse them, at times,
When excited by rhymes!!!!
But usage that’s spare is my aim.

By the way, it isn’t too late to celebrate National Punctuation Day: NationalPunctuationDay.com is doing it with a punctuation-related haiku contest. (The deadline is September 30th.)

And speaking of contests, the Washington Post is hosting another limerick competition. (As I mentioned previously, I got an honorable mention in their last one.)

Anyway, the Washington Post’s latest limerick contest sounds like a lot of fun. Much like my Limerick-Offs, WP provides limerick lines. However, the WP contest is definitely harder than mine: I provide A-rhyme first lines, while the WP contest offers us B-rhyme lines.

The Washington Post contest deadline is October 4th. Good luck!

A Limerick Ode To Autumn

Monday, September 20th, 2010

Rumor has it that fall will arrive on September 23rd. So I thought I’d celebrate with my Limerick Ode To Autumn:

Limerick Ode To Autumn
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Feels like autumn — the walking is easy
Cuz it’s cool and it’s dry and it’s breezy.
But what do I spy?
Flying pollen — oh my!
Any minute I’ll surely be sneezy.

Happy Birthday To Me

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

Friday, September 11th was my birthday — one of those traumatizing, ends-with-zero birthdays. So I told my husband Mark that, unless he wanted me to be a basket case on nine-eleven, he’d better plan something good.

So, did Mark rise to the occasion? He sure did, as I describe in this three-verse limerick:

Happy Birthday To Me
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My nine-one-one birthday was great!
Hubby Mark planned a fabulous date:
God of Carnage — fine play —
Four fab stars on Broadway.
Yes, I married a wonderful mate.

The play featured James Gandolfini,
Who did not play a mafia meanie.
Hope Davis starred too
And Jeff Daniels. Woo Hoo!
Marcia Harden’s the fourth. Creds ain’t teeny.

We dined on gourmet Mex cuisine:
Toloache’s the best I have seen.
And we drank and we danced
At two bars. Age advanced?
Well, perhaps … but I felt sweet sixteen.

(Cross-posted on my political humor blog.)

Caffeinated Verse

Monday, September 15th, 2008

Just in time for National Coffee Day! (September 29)

Caffeinated Verse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’ve rarely been tempted by tea,
And coffee does nothing for me.
Cappuccino,  however —
Can’t miss it.  Not ever!
Addicted? Heck no!  I’ll take three.

*****

Here’s the same sentiment in its concise haiku version. (I prefer it in limerick form.)

I never drink tea.
Hot coffee? No, not for me.
Capuccino? Oui!

*****

(Updated with National Coffee Day info and new haiku)

ADD Ode (Limerick)

Sunday, April 15th, 2007

For some reason, I almost forgot to post this: 

ADD Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Hey, doc, have I got ADD?
My attention span’s short as can be.”
“Take this test, and we’ll know
If you have it, although…”
“If I’ve what?” “ADD, sir.” “You see?”

“National Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day” is “celebrated” on the third Wednesday of September.