Archive for the ‘Bawdy Limericks’ Category
Wednesday, November 15th, 2023
What’s my excuse for posting this limerick? It’s November 15th, National Drumming Day.
A drummer had hoped to ensnare
An au pair in a sordid affair:
“Your breasts are so sweet.
May I fondle each teat?”
“You’ve some pair,” she said. “Beat it! No! Ne’er!”
Tags: Au Pair Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Childcare, Drumming Day, Drums Humor, Drums Limerick, National Drumming Day, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sex Humor, Sex Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Children Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holdays | 2 Comments »
Monday, November 13th, 2023
An athlete ran nude down the street
And was caught by the cops — no mean feat.
He explained (all erect)
“‘Twas a test to detect
If detectives on foot can be fleet.”
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Cops & Police, Crime Humor, Crime Limerick, Exercise Humor, Exercise Limerick, Jogging, Nudity, Nudity Humor, Nudity Limerick, Running
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Crime & Punishment Humor, Exercise Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor | No Comments »
Monday, December 12th, 2022
A gal was impressed by the thrust
Of an argument made against lust.
But the man who had made it
Had mated or dated
Each person in town with a bust.
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Battle of Sexes, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Lust Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 10th, 2022
Most orchestra members would groan
At the principal trumpeter’s tone.
But his job was secure,
Cuz his lips held allure
For the maestro, a horny old crone.
*****
National Trumpet Day falls on October 10.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Brass Players, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Instrument, Musician Humor, Musician Limerick, National Trumpet Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Trumpet Day, Trumpet Humor, Trumpet Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Yet Another Brassy Limerick
Friday, September 30th, 2022
A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”
(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)
Tags: Bakery, Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Food Holidays, Food Humor, Food Limericks, Food Poem, Food Verse, Odd Holidays, Rolls Humor, Rolls Limerick, Rolls Verse, September Holidays
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Half-Baked Limerick
Saturday, June 11th, 2022
Riding bikes while you’re naked sounds odd,
No matter the shape of your bod.
If you’re nude and ride past,
Kindly pedal by fast.
And do NOT expect ME to applaud!
(World Naked Bike Ride Day is celebrated each year on the second Saturday of June.)
Tags: Bawdy Limericks, Bicycle Humor, Bicycle Limerick, Bike Humor, Bike Limerick, June Holidays, Naked Bike Ride Day, Nudity, Nudity Humor, Nudity Limerick, Odd Holidays, World Naked Bike Ride Day
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Exercise Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Transportation Humor | 3 Comments »
Friday, May 20th, 2022
A boy was bawled out by the nuns
For his sly use of off-color puns.
But he swore “I’m not punning!”
(The fellow was cunning.)
“Besides baking, just what’s done with buns?”
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Education Limerick, Nun Humor, Nun Limericks, Nuns, Pun Humor, Pun Limerick, Religion Humor, Religion Limerick, School Humor, School Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse, Wordplay | Comments Off on The “Innocent” Punster (Limerick)
Monday, April 18th, 2022
A largely deaf fellow named Ben
Relished sex in his new girlfriend’s den.
But she’d talk during sex,
(Very much like his ex.)
His confusing reply? “Come again.”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Communication Humor, Communication Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deafness Humor, Deafness Limerick, Hearing Humor, Hearing Limerick, Sex Humor, Sex Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Communication Humor, Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 26th, 2022
Two newly-wed gymnasts were sacked
And told it was time to get packed:
“Since the pair of you wed,
You are always in bed.”
Their defense? “Life’s a balancing act.”
Tags: Balancing Act, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Employment Humor, Gym Humor, Gym Limerick, Gymnast Humor, Gymnast Limerick, Gymnastics, Gymnastics Humor, Gymnastics Limerick, Job Humor, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Sports Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Gymnastics
Tuesday, January 11th, 2022
There are folks who develop a bucket list;
Pre-death dreams, goals, and treks to Nantucket list.
But to heck with that checklist!
I don’t need a trek-list!
I DO have a chuck-it and fuck-it list.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Aspirations Humor, Aspirations Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bucket List, Bucket List Humor, Bucket List Limerick, Life Goals
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | Comments Off on “Bucket Lists” Leave Me Listless (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 30th, 2021
“Though it’s fine that my boyfriend is naughty,
A bit bossy and bad-ass and dotty,
His obsession with bots
Has me tied up in knots.
So I can’t tie the knot with that hottie.”
Tags: Bad Behavior, Battle of the Sexes, Bot Humor, Bot Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick, Tying The Knot
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Dating Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Technology Humor | Comments Off on A Knotty Issue (Limerick)
Saturday, November 6th, 2021
Happy “Sax Day!” And happy birthday to Adolphe Sax, its inventor! (November 6)
A horny musician named Phil
When flirting would trumpet his skill.
But he mispronounced “sax,”
The name of his ax,
So his chance of romance went downhill.
Tags: Adolphe Sax, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Inventions Poem, Inventors, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, National Saxophone Day, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sax Day, Sax Humor, Sax Limerick, Saxophone Day, Saxophone Humor, Saxophone Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Celebrating Sax (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 27th, 2021
I was inspired to write this limerick by the many male-written limericks I’ve read about priests:
I’m a female and Jewish, so never
Had priest problems – none whatsoever.
I don’t mean to be caustic.
I’m deeply agnostic;
Dodging clergy at large — my endeavor.
Tags: Agnostic Humor, Agnostic Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Priest Humor, Priest Limerick, Religion Humor, Religion Limerick, Religious Humor, Religious Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Limericks, Religion Verse | Comments Off on Irreverent Limerick
Monday, October 18th, 2021
Two women, good friends, worked backstage.
Each was “dating” a man half her age:
A man on the crew.
Which one? Neither knew.
It turns out, both were on the same Page.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Secrecy Humor, Secrecy Limerick, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Friendship Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Secret Affairs (Limerick)
Saturday, September 25th, 2021
“It’s easy to hoodwink that stinker,”
Said a man of his wife, a big drinker.
“When coition’s my mission,
She thinks I’m out fishin’…
And falls for it hook, line, and sinker.”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Dishonesty, Fish Humor, Fish Limerick, Fishing Humor, Fishing Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Wordplay Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Marriage Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Fishing For An Alibi (Limerick)
Monday, September 20th, 2021
A man in the mood for a swim,
Who would frequently act on a whim,
Dove into a pool
From a tree; hurt his tool…
Vowed to stop going out on a limb.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Diving Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Swimming Humor, Tree Climbing, Tree Humor, Tree Limerick, Trees
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor | Comments Off on Whimsical Limerick
Saturday, August 21st, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MEMORY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MEMORY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 5, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 4, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my LOON/LUNE/BALLOON/SALOON-rhyme limerick:
A fellow, as mad as a loon,
Would strip naked outside ev’ry noon,
Till a note came. ’Twas snide:
“Were I you, I would hide
All my privates; your prick’s picayune.
And here’s my MEMORY-themed limerick:
Once again, I am drawing a blank.
My recall’s, alas, in the tank.
My brain feels bombarded
By facts, soon discarded.
So Google’s my memory bank.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Blank Memory, Brain Humor, Brain Limerick, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Competition Limerick, Google Humor, Google Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Memory Humor, Memory Limerick, Naked Humor, Naked Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Memory Humor, Mental Health Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 256 Comments »
