Archive for the ‘Bawdy Limericks’ Category
Monday, April 7th, 2025
As the cop brought her in, the young lass
Acknowledged she’d done something crass:
“In hindsight,” she said,
When her rights had been read,
“I shouldn’t have bared my cute ass.”
Tags: Arrests, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Cop Humor, Cop Limerick, Naked Humor, Naked Limerick, Nudity Humor, Nudity Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Physical Appearance | 1 Comment »
Monday, April 29th, 2024
A convivial fellow from France
Took the stage and performed a short dance.
He was graceful and masked.
“Did you like it?” he asked.
Though most clapped, I said, “Next time, wear pants!”
Happy “International Dance Day!” (April 29th each year)
Tags: April Holidays, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Dance Humor, Dance Limerick, Dancing, Dancing Humor, Dancing Limerick, Naked Humor, Naked Limerick, Nude Humor, Nude Limerick, Odd Holidays
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Dance Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on The Dancer (Limerick)
Friday, April 19th, 2024
I went gray at a premature age,
But embraced it and hoped to look sage.
For a lawyer sans penis
Back then? Mars v. Venus!
Young, female, and short — NOT the rage!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Discrimination, Feminist Humor, Feminist Limerick, Hair Humor, Height Limerick, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawyer Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Personal Limerick, Sexism, Sexism Humor, Sexism Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Feminist Satire, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Personal, Physical Appearance, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on A Hairy Tale (Limerick)
Sunday, February 18th, 2024
A young builder who loved his reflection
Was determined to win an election.
But voters were vexed
Cuz he constantly flexed…
And was caught with a public erection.
Tags: Ambition Humor, Ambition Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Ego Humor, Ego Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor | Comments Off on An Ambitious Builder, but NOT The One You Think (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2024
The temptress exclaimed, “Take a lick.
But hurry! You must make it quick,
Or I’ll eat it alone.
Hey, you’ve broken my cone.
Ice cream’s melting all over your… Ick!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, November 15th, 2023
What’s my excuse for posting this limerick? It’s November 15th, National Drumming Day.
A drummer had hoped to ensnare
An au pair in a sordid affair:
“Your breasts are so sweet.
May I fondle each teat?”
“You’ve some pair,” she said. “Beat it! No! Ne’er!”
Tags: Au Pair Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Childcare, Drumming Day, Drums Humor, Drums Limerick, National Drumming Day, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sex Humor, Sex Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Children Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holdays | 2 Comments »
Monday, November 13th, 2023
An athlete ran nude down the street
And was caught by the cops — no mean feat.
He explained (all erect)
“‘Twas a test to detect
If detectives on foot can be fleet.”
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Cops & Police, Crime Humor, Crime Limerick, Exercise Humor, Exercise Limerick, Jogging, Nudity, Nudity Humor, Nudity Limerick, Running
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Crime & Punishment Humor, Exercise Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on An Athletic Test (Limerick)
Monday, December 12th, 2022
A gal was impressed by the thrust
Of an argument made against lust.
But the man who had made it
Had mated or dated
Each person in town with a bust.
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Battle of Sexes, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Lust Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 10th, 2022
Most orchestra members would groan
At the principal trumpeter’s tone.
But his job was secure,
Cuz his lips held allure
For the maestro, a horny old crone.
*****
National Trumpet Day falls on October 10.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Brass Players, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Instrument, Musician Humor, Musician Limerick, National Trumpet Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Trumpet Day, Trumpet Humor, Trumpet Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Yet Another Brassy Limerick
Friday, September 30th, 2022
A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”
(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)
Tags: Bakery, Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Food Holidays, Food Humor, Food Limericks, Food Poem, Food Verse, Odd Holidays, Rolls Humor, Rolls Limerick, Rolls Verse, September Holidays
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Half-Baked Limerick
Saturday, June 11th, 2022
Riding bikes while you’re naked sounds odd,
No matter the shape of your bod.
If you’re nude and ride past,
Kindly pedal by fast.
And do NOT expect ME to applaud!
(World Naked Bike Ride Day is celebrated each year on the second Saturday of June.)
Tags: Bawdy Limericks, Bicycle Humor, Bicycle Limerick, Bike Humor, Bike Limerick, June Holidays, Naked Bike Ride Day, Nudity, Nudity Humor, Nudity Limerick, Odd Holidays, World Naked Bike Ride Day
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Exercise Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Transportation Humor | 3 Comments »
Friday, May 20th, 2022
A boy was bawled out by the nuns
For his sly use of off-color puns.
But he swore “I’m not punning!”
(The fellow was cunning.)
“Besides baking, just what’s done with buns?”
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Education Limerick, Nun Humor, Nun Limericks, Nuns, Pun Humor, Pun Limerick, Religion Humor, Religion Limerick, School Humor, School Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse, Wordplay | Comments Off on The “Innocent” Punster (Limerick)
Monday, April 18th, 2022
A largely deaf fellow named Ben
Relished sex in his new girlfriend’s den.
But she’d talk during sex,
(Very much like his ex.)
His confusing reply? “Come again.”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Communication Humor, Communication Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deafness Humor, Deafness Limerick, Hearing Humor, Hearing Limerick, Sex Humor, Sex Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Communication Humor, Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 26th, 2022
Two newly-wed gymnasts were sacked
And told it was time to get packed:
“Since the pair of you wed,
You are always in bed.”
Their defense? “Life’s a balancing act.”
Tags: Balancing Act, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Employment Humor, Gym Humor, Gym Limerick, Gymnast Humor, Gymnast Limerick, Gymnastics, Gymnastics Humor, Gymnastics Limerick, Job Humor, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Sports Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Gymnastics
Tuesday, January 11th, 2022
There are folks who develop a bucket list;
Pre-death dreams, goals, and treks to Nantucket list.
But to heck with that checklist!
I don’t need a trek-list!
I DO have a chuck-it and fuck-it list.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Aspirations Humor, Aspirations Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bucket List, Bucket List Humor, Bucket List Limerick, Life Goals
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | Comments Off on “Bucket Lists” Leave Me Listless (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 30th, 2021
“Though it’s fine that my boyfriend is naughty,
A bit bossy and bad-ass and dotty,
His obsession with bots
Has me tied up in knots.
So I can’t tie the knot with that hottie.”
Tags: Bad Behavior, Battle of the Sexes, Bot Humor, Bot Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick, Tying The Knot
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Dating Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Technology Humor | Comments Off on A Knotty Issue (Limerick)
Saturday, November 6th, 2021
Happy “Sax Day!” And happy birthday to Adolphe Sax, its inventor! (November 6)
A horny musician named Phil
When flirting would trumpet his skill.
But he mispronounced “sax,”
The name of his ax,
So his chance of romance went downhill.
Tags: Adolphe Sax, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Inventions Poem, Inventors, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, National Saxophone Day, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sax Day, Sax Humor, Sax Limerick, Saxophone Day, Saxophone Humor, Saxophone Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Celebrating Sax (Limerick)
