Posts Tagged ‘October Holidays’

AWOL Holidays (Limerick)

Saturday, October 29th, 2022

I maintain an “Odd Holiday” list,
But I keep finding key dates I’ve missed:
“Checklists Day” isn’t there.
It was ONCE there, I swear!
Must enlist an “Alexa” assist.

(October 30th is Checklists Day.)

The Colorful Artist (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 25th, 2022

An artist named Hugh would imbue
All his paintings with one fav’rite hue:
Mostly teal with a touch
Of turquoise and such.
Mocked at first, fame came out of the blue.
*****

Happy “International Artists Day!” (Celebrated each year on October 25)

A Knotty Problem (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 18th, 2022

This limerick is a very compressed version of a necktie adventure with hubby Mark. And I can’t think of a better way to celebrate “International Necktie Day.”

“You MUST wear a necktie to enter,”
Mark was told. He’s a necktie dissenter,
But he re-tied his tie
Till our drinks were dropped by,
Then removed it — my waitress tormenter.

Celebrating Pasta (Limerick)

Monday, October 17th, 2022

“I’ve a hunch you had pasta for brunch.
There are stains on your clothing — a bunch.
And they’ll never come out;
Of that fact there’s no doubt.
You should learn not to leak when you lunch.”

*****

Happy National Pasta Day! (October 17)

The Key To Getting Along (Limerick)

Monday, October 17th, 2022

My new boss and I get along well.
What’s our secret? We both never tell
One another our views
On religion and news.
(I suspect, though, he’s going to hell.)

*****

Happy National Boss Day!

It’s “National Dictionary Day!” (Limerick)

Sunday, October 16th, 2022

It’s “National Dictionary Day,” which gives me a good excuse to post a limerick about another new-to-me term: “Dawn Chorus.”

(For the record, all the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)

“Let’s go back to that lovely ‘Fowl Inn,’”
Said my spouse, quite forgetting its din.
’Twas no use telling Boris
(A bull-headed Taurus)
That its dawn chorus drove us to gin.

*****

Happy birthday to American lexicographer Noah Webster, of dictionary compilation fame. He was born October 16, 1758.

Yet Another Brassy Limerick

Monday, October 10th, 2022

Most orchestra members would groan
At the principal trumpeter’s tone.
But his job was secure,
Cuz his lips held allure
For the maestro, a horny old crone.

*****

National Trumpet Day falls on October 10.

Persnickety Patron (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 5th, 2022

The oatmeal you served me was stale!
And my dinner? How dare you serve kale!
The meals here don’t thrill me.
You trying to kill me?
Better not, or I’ll see you in jail!

*****

(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)

Unnoteworthy Limerick

Tuesday, February 8th, 2022

“The soprano attempted a note
That is out of her range,” went the quote
From the Op’ra Review.
“It was shrill, like a shrew.” —
A critique that still sticks in her throat.

(Opera Day is celebrated on two different days: February 8 and October 25.)

Yet Another Hairy Limerick

Thursday, November 11th, 2021

A pissed patron returned to Pierre’s
And demanded free haircut repairs:
“Your stylist destroyed
My look. Fire Floyd!”
The reply? “Kindly stop splitting hairs.”

(Hairstylist Appreciation Day is April 25, and National Hair Day is October 1.)

Limerick Ode To “National American Beer Day”

Wednesday, October 27th, 2021

Happy “National American Beer Day!” (October 27)

“American Beer Day” is here,
Making many compatriots cheer.
But not ME! “Why?” you ask.
Cuz my drink is a flask
Of tequila. No “Hear, hear!” to beer!

Operatic Limerick

Monday, October 25th, 2021

Happy “World Opera Day!” (October 25)

“Sustaining high notes can be hard,”
Said an opera singer who starred
In Norma; she claims
That it’s not fun and games,
But a contest of wills, no holds barred.

Not Kneeling For “Knee Day” (Limerick) (October 22)

Friday, October 22nd, 2021

Celebrate “National Knee Day?” Not me!

Say “hip, hip, hooray!” cuz it’s Knee Day?
I don’t find it a Fills-Me-With-Glee day.
Any “climb those stairs” stance
Makes my knees look askance,
So it’s more of a Please-Function-Plea day.

Embracing “Ass Day” (Limerick)

Sunday, October 17th, 2021

As you can see, I’m embracing “Ass Day.” (October 17)

It’s “Ass Day,” so celebrate rears
And relinquish your booty-size fears;
I suspect your can’s span
Ain’t as wide as a van.
Get behind it and relish the cheers!

Do Bosses Really Need/Deserve a “Boss Day?” (Limerick)

Friday, October 15th, 2021

Happy “National Boss Day!” (celebrated October 16, or the closest work day.)

When my boss said, “Please join me for brunch,”
I agreed, though I did have a hunch
That the man is a cad
And quite possibly mad.
I was right; he’s, alas, out to lunch.

Tasty Limerick

Thursday, October 14th, 2021

Happy “National Dessert Day.” (October 14)

A fellow was eating dessert.
Offered seconds, he said, “It can’t hurt.”
But his wife said, “Enough!”
“You used to be buff.”
He responded, “You used to be pert.”

Handbag Hassles (Limerick)

Sunday, October 10th, 2021

Heavy handbags are irksome indeed.
Paring down has become my new creed:
No more notebooks, spare keys.
Bye-bye iPad, change, cheese.
Net result? Never have what I need!

Happy National Handbag Day! (October 10)

Egg Myths (Limerick)

Friday, October 8th, 2021

“World Egg Day” has given me an excuse to write this limerick rant:

“Do NOT eat the yolks of your eggs!”
“Just the egg whites,” they said – (the egg-dregs.)
Now such counsel’s passé
Re cholesterol. Yay!
All those egg lies no longer have legs.

It’s A Frappe (Limerick)

Thursday, October 7th, 2021

Happy National Frappe Day! (October 7)

“This diner has fabulous cakes
And surprisingly tasty strip steaks.
Their fish and chips dinner
Is surely a winner.
But sundaes and frappes? No great shakes!”

Happy Golf Lovers Day! (October 4) (Limerick)

Monday, October 4th, 2021

Though I’m no fan of golf, I couldn’t resist writing a Golf Lovers Day limerick:

As a golfer swigged beer in a pub,
He bitched and he gobbled his grub:
“I’ve been flubbing my putts.
Being drubbed drives me nuts!”
The response to that putz? “Join the club!”