My handbag is always too small
Cuz I suffer from portable sprawl;
Seems I “need” so much junk,
Nothing short of a trunk
Could manage to handle my haul.
Happy National Handbag Day! (October 10)
Posts Tagged ‘October Holidays’
Happy National Handbag Day (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 10th, 2017Me Celebrate Greasy Foods Day? Not On Your Life! (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2016I don’t understand the appeal
Of a greasy and fat-laden meal.
Yet folks by the tons
Risk getting the runs
From fried items, with heart-stopping zeal.
Happy Greasy Foods Day! (October 25)
It’s Bologna Day — No Baloney! (Limerick)
Monday, October 24th, 2016At the taste of bologna, I groan.
Processed meats make me cringe, gag, and moan.
Yet for some, they’re a treat.
Keep your mystery meat,
Else my face shall be meeting my “throne.”
Happy National Bologna Day! (October 24)
What Have They Done To My Treats? (2-Verse Limerick)
Sunday, November 1st, 2015Halloween week I sampled some candy,
But stuff that I used to find dandy
Made me cringe with distaste.
Has aging laid waste
To my taste buds? I’d rather drink brandy.
Have the folks who make chocolate treats
Altered recipes, cheapened these sweets
Till they taste like debris?
Is it them? Is it me?
Either way, here come healthier eats.
Halloween Teens (Limerick)
Friday, October 30th, 2015Halloween, when the teens come around,
They will surely be sugar-high bound.
Will they scarf up their treats
While they’re combing the streets?
Yes they’ll feast as the pavement they pound.
The Felonious Feline (Limerick)
Thursday, October 29th, 2015Just in time for National Cat Day (Oct 29):
Dear cat, you can’t dupe me with purr-bull,
And you don’t deserve anything herbal.
No treats and no pity,
Felonious kitty!
I’ve proof that you’ve eaten my gerbil.
Just In Time For “National Potato Day” (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 27th, 2015Happy National Potato Day! (October 27)
A woman with terrible taste
Cooked potatoes that tasted like paste.
“I just can’t choke them down,”
Growled her spouse with a frown.
“Now I know where the Elmer’s misplaced.”
Dictionary Day (Limerick)
Friday, October 16th, 2015It’s National Dictionary Day, created in honor of Noah Webster’s birthday.
I attempt to learn new words each day–
At least one, sometimes two, but they stray;
Seems as new words are learned,
The old ones are spurned:
“You’re evicted!” those brain-hoggers bray.
It’s “Train Your Brain Day” (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 13th, 2015I’d almost forgotten to say
That it’s “Train Your Brain Day.” Yes, today!
Like most people, my brain’s
Badly trained. It campaigns
To unceasingly lead me astray.
Limerick Ode To “World Egg Day”
Friday, October 9th, 2015Happy World Egg Day! (October 9)
On “World Egg Day” a Facebooker begs:
“Kindly stop cracking wise about eggs.”
I’ll concede we’ve been laying
Some eggs, but quit braying;
We aren’t yet down to the dregs.
Not Showering Bathtubs With Praise (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 7th, 2015Happy Bathtub Day! (October 7)
When it’s time to get clean, we can choose
Either shower or bathtub — I’ll use
A hot shower each time
Cuz I hate soapy slime,
And in tubs the slime clings like tattoos.
Stop Badgering Me! (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 6th, 2015You can stop badgering me: I’ve written a National Badger Day limerick.
Though I don’t mean to badger or nag,
Your attention has started to lag
When it comes to my craze
For animal days.
My proof? Where’s your “Badger Day” flag?
Trick-Or-Treating Goes Green? (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 29th, 2014Here’s a creepy Halloween-related survey:
More than half (53%) of parents of trick-or-treaters say their children between the ages of 4 and 10 would prefer cash over candy or even toys, according to a survey of 1,747 parents who celebrated Halloween carried out by coupon- and discount-code website Vouchercloud.net.
Trick-Or-Treating Goes Green? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To you kids who want Halloween cash,
And not candy, your hopes I must dash.
If you ask me for money
Dear girly or sonny,
I’ll double the other kid’s stash.
Limerick Ode To “National Greasy Foods Day” (Oct. 25)
Saturday, October 25th, 2014Limerick Ode To “National Greasy Foods Day” (Oct. 25)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “National Greasy Foods Day.”
What a concept! I have to say “Nay!”
Such a day sounds so cheesy.
The thought makes me queasy.
Melted brie? Hmmm, for THAT I might stray.
Limerick Ode To “National Nut Day” (October 22)
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014Limerick Ode To National Nut Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A morsel to chew on: It’s “Nut Day,”
As opposed to, say, “Sit On Your Butt Day.”
It celebrates food—
Not the fruitcakes whose ’tude
Seems deranged, but a “Junk For Your Gut Day.”
Limerick Ode To “Babbling Day” (October 21)
Tuesday, October 21st, 2014Today’s the one day it’s okay to be a blatherskite. Why? Because it’s Babbling Day. Just don’t make a habit of it … like the fellow in my limerick:
Limerick Ode To “Babbling Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who tended to rap
About nonsense was taking a nap.
“I’m so glad he’s asleep,”
Said his wife, “cuz I weep
And I yawn when he babbles that pap.”
Limerick Ode “National Grouch Day” (Oct. 15)
Wednesday, October 15th, 2014Limerick Ode To National Grouch Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I’m loath to complain or to bitch,
When I hear about “Grouch Day,” I twitch.
I think beating the drums
For cantankerous bums
Is absurd! This vile day we must ditch!
Limerick Ode To “International Skeptics Day” (Oct. 13)
Monday, October 13th, 2014Limerick Ode To “International Skeptics Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
They say that it’s Skeptics Day. Why?
It’s a claim that I simply don’t buy.
Why THIS day, not THAT one?
I’ll gladly combat one
And prove that it’s pie in the sky.
*****
And a bonus haiku:
Can it really be
International Skeptics Day?
I’m skeptical.
Limerick Ode To “Lovable Lawyers Day” (October 8)
Wednesday, October 8th, 2014Limerick Ode To “Lovable Lawyers Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “Lovable Lawyers Day.” Whee!
But this day isn’t greeted with glee.
It seems most people say:
“Love a Lawyer? No Way!”
But what about ex-Esqs … like me?
