Posts Tagged ‘Stress Humor’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HOARD, HORDE, or WHORED at the end of any one line

Sunday, October 29th, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HOARD, HORDE, or WHORED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CHAOS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CHAOS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 12, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 11, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

I return from the shore, all restored,
Feeling mellow, no longer unmoored.
Store my oars in the shed,
Long for bed, but instead,
I check texts (I’m well-bred) from the horde.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

International Panic Day? Why??? (Limerick)

Saturday, June 18th, 2016

For some inexplicable reason, we celebrate International Panic Day today. (June 18)

The concept of Panic Day’s weird;
It’s redundant for me to be steered
Toward something organic.
My panic is manic…
And for doing it daily, I’m geared.

Choice Viewing (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 4th, 2015

Choice Viewing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What with networks and Netflix and cable
And Hulu and Amazon’s stable
Of shows to be seen,
I’m too wired to screen;
Feeling feeble, can’t pick — kindly table.

A Limerick for International Day Of Yoga (June 21)

Saturday, June 20th, 2015

The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:

A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.

Happy “Stress Awareness Day!” (April 16)

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

I’m sensing the usual stress–
Nothing more, but alas, nothing less.
“Stress Awareness Day’s” here–
Not a day that I’d cheer.
Screw “awareness!” I’d rather repress.

Hiding In Verse (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 6th, 2015

Hiding In Verse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was trying to hide
From problems he could not abide.
So he tossed off some verse,
Which made things far worse…
For his muse wasn’t taking his side.

View my Hiding in Verse limerick image here.

May I Panic Yet? (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

May I Panic Yet? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m trying quite hard not to panic,
But poll trends are making me manic.
Prospects never looked great,
And it seems now that fate
Has ensnared us inside the Titanic.

(More new-related poetry over at DVerse Poets Pub.)

Limerick Dry Run (The Evolution of a Limerick)

Thursday, November 14th, 2013

When I’m looking for limerick ideas, I sometimes visit idiom list sites, like this one. Then I’ll select an idiom that might work meter-wise and that ends with a common rhyme sound.

And so today, I challenged myself to write a limerick that contains the phrase “dry run.” Unconsciously inspired, perhaps, by the inept roll-out of Obamacare, I wrote these two lines:

A software firm held a dry run
But the coding, alas, wasn’t done…

I swiftly thought up an acceptable “B-rhyme,” but then got stuck at line 5. The best I could come up with was an ending that employed yet another idiom: “under the gun.” But I still couldn’t think of a line 5 that was even slightly clever.

And then I got an idea: create some wordplay by revising another line, adding specificity to the subject matter. Here’s the result:

Limerick Dry Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A software firm held a dry run,
But the arms-tracking code wasn’t done.
It failed test after test,
Till the owner confessed:
“I’m too stressed to work under the gun.”

A Spa To Hiss (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 30th, 2013

If being wrapped in pythons would enhance your massage experience, do I have a spa for you! Get yourself right over to the Bali Heritage Reflexology and Spa in Jakarta, Indonesia, which claims that snake-draping combats stress.

A Spa To Hiss (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh joy! Here’s a spa to avoid:
When massaging you, snakes are deployed.
Yes, they drape you in snakes,
Claiming fear aids your aches.
You feel great … right until you’re destroyed.

Limerick Ode To Information Overload

Monday, October 21st, 2013

Happy Information Overload Day! (October 20, 2015)

Limerick Ode To Information Overload (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Too much data is haunting my dreams–
Excess info and too many memes.
Overloaded with news,
My brain has the blues:
“I’m cluttered with tidbits,” it screams.

So what’s the solution pray tell
That will free me from info-stress hell?
Turn off ev’ry machine
And device? That sounds mean
And quite limiting. Not a good sell!

Is there anything else I can do?
I suppose I could hide in the loo.
But alas and alack,
That room has a stack
Of old weeklies — a factoid fondue.

Limerick Toll (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, August 18th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was paying the toll…*

or

The pressure was taking its toll…*

or

A woman would often extol…*

or

A gal bought a tray made of tole….*

or

An oarsman had broken a thole…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Toll
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If stress has been taking its toll,
And I’m hard-pressed to rest, I might stroll,
Cuz a walk, even brief,
Can afford some relief.
Just don’t try to cajole me to bowl.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode to the Corkscrew

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013

Happy anniversary to the corkscrew! On March 27, 1860, New Yorker M.L. Byrn patented a corkscrew design. “It was T-shaped, based on gadgets that had long been used to extract bullets stuck in the muzzles of guns. Corkscrews had been around before Byrn’s invention, but his design became the standard in America for decades.”

Limerick Ode To The Corkscrew
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Make a toast to a corking invention–
An aid in removing our tension.
Does your life feel screwed up?
Need some sips with your sup?
Then give praise for the corkscrew’s ascension.

Pet Owners Independence Day Limerick (April 18)

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

Are you all ready for National Pet Owners Independence Day?

A gal who’d been cleaning was jarred
By some leaves just dragged in from her yard.
Displaying a broom,
She yelled, “Sweep up this room!”
To her dog. (Guess she’s working too hard.)

In-Box Overload (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 4th, 2012

In-Box Overload (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My in-box is filled to the brim.
The sight of it’s making me grim.
And my virtual box
Is likewise a pox.
Mail has stamped out my zip and my vim.

(Prompted By One Single Impression’s “Inbox.”)

Related Post: Email Hell

No Longer Tickered Out (Limerick)

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Regular readers know that Facebook’s News Ticker has been driving me mad! It’s also driven me to write three anti-Facebook limericks.

If you share my problem, or if you simply feel sorry for me, you’ll be pleased to know I’ve uncovered a solution: Google Chrome has an extension that makes Facebook’s annoying Ticker vanish.

I’ve installed it and the extension works great. No more News Ticker. Yippee!

Time to celebrate with a limerick:

No Longer Tickered Out
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My outlook is better today
Cuz I’ve sent Facebook’s Ticker away:
Yes, a cool Chrome extension
Does Ticker prevention.
To Google, big thanks and hooray!

Ticked Off By Facebook’s Ticker (2 Limericks)

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

I’ve been trying to find something good to say about Facebook’s new News Feed, and here it is: It’s very inspirational! Last night it inspired me to write this dizzy limerick. And now I’ve written two more:

If you like things that constantly flicker,
You’re sure to enjoy Facebook’s ticker.
As for me, I must flee:
My sore brain needs Chablis,
So I’m off for some Advil and liquor.

*****

I am not one to bitch and to bicker,
But I hate Facebook’s stupid new ticker.
It makes my brain ache!
How much more can I take?
Enough with the scrolling and flicker!

*****

(Here’s a fun post about limericks, where you can submit your own.)

UPDATE: Good news! I’ve found a solution to Facebook’s terrible News Ticker problem. You can read all about it here, including a celebratory limerick.

Macaronic Limerick

Monday, April 25th, 2011

First off, this limerick (despite its name) has nothing to do with macaroni. I’m not suffering from Passover pasta-withdrawal. Nor do my dreams (or nightmares) ever feature anything of a noodle nature.

So why the title? I just learned, from the delightfully informative Miss Rumphius, about the rare and usually comic form called macaronic verse. What the heck is macaronic verse? We’re told that it’s a usually absurd and nonsensical “poem in a mixture of two languages, one of them preferably Latin,” and that “the poet usually subjects one language to the grammatical laws of another to make people laugh.”

So naturally I had to try it, mixing legal terms (mostly Latin) in with standard limerick English:

Macaronic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The corpus is AWOL. Oh my!
I attest that I left it hereby.
What a bona fide mess.
My mentis has stress.
It’s de facto I mortemed that fly.

(Linked at We Write Poems pairings prompt.)

If Only Life Were That Simple (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

The task at hand over at Three Word Wednesday is to write a poem using these three words: Figure, Juicy, and Stress. I enjoyed the mental exercise and wrote this limerick:

If Only Life Were That Simple
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When I’m feeling a bit under stress
And I figure my life’s in a mess,
If I read something juicy
Or play some Debussy,
My problems are quick to egress.

Edgy Limerick

Friday, February 18th, 2011

Edgy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

His cash flow had put him on edge,
And he needed a day to just veg.
He was stressed to the max
Over real estate tax,
And could not even fund his new hedge.

(Lots Of Laughter edge prompt)

Jittery Limerick Limerick Audio

Sunday, December 5th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A jittery fellow named Fred…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Jittery Limerick (Jittery Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A jittery fellow named Fred
Had problems with sleeping in bed.
He could sleep on a chair
Or a stool — anywhere
But in bed, where things came to a head.

He was haunted in bed by his fears,
Whether sober or after some beers.
He would worry and fret—
Could not snooze on a bet.
And that’s how he lived for ten years.

But then podcasts came into his life.
(He’d heard about them from his wife.)
The discussions and talk
Made sad thoughts take a walk.
Now he slumbers in bed without strife.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!