Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HOARD, HORDE, or WHORED at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HOARD, HORDE, or WHORED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CHAOS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CHAOS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 12, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 11, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

I return from the shore, all restored,
Feeling mellow, no longer unmoored.
Store my oars in the shed,
Long for bed, but instead,
I check texts (I’m well-bred) from the horde.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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126 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HOARD, HORDE, or WHORED at the end of any one line”

  1. Brian Allgar says:

    The one thing the Donald abhorred
    Was the torture of boredom. He’d scored
    “Golden showers” (and more)
    With those hookers galore,
    But by now he was quite water-bored.

  2. Brian Allgar says:

    (Double)

    The atoms swirled round in a horde
    Until chaos gave way to the Lord.
    “Now, let there be light!”
    But it stayed dark as night –
    He’d forgotten to plug in the cord.

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    The Senators hustled and whored;
    The Koch brothers’ riches have soared,
    And their dream is at hand:
    When they own the whole land,
    Proper slavery will be restored.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    Said Vice-President Pence “Thank the Lord
    That I never have cheated or whored
    In a sexual way –
    What I do every day
    For my job makes it quite aboveboard.”

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    “Believe me, I’m YUGE!” Donald roared.
    He’d been studied by doctors, a horde;
    All they found on this prick
    In the place of his dick
    Was a tiny umbilical cord.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    I’ve searched through my limerick hoard
    For a piece about “chaos”. I’m floored!
    I know there must be one,
    So why can’t I see one?
    My files are chaotically stored!

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the bimbo: “Those fellows who’ve scored
    Give me things that I cannot afford:
    Fur coats and champagne,
    Diamonds now and again,
    But no money, so I’ve never whored!”

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    The matador found he’d been gored
    In the family jewels; his hoard
    Was diminished by one,
    So he started to run,
    But the bull got a double reward.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the Donald, “I got me a hoard
    Of them nukes, and I’ve sent ’em toward
    Rocket Man, what’s-his-name.
    Hey! This video game
    Is the greatest! I just bigly scored!”

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    The aliens came in a horde.
    For intelligent life, they explored
    The whole planet Earth,
    But they found such a dearth,
    Only dolphins received the award.

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    Good heavens! I seem to have got my ten in before anyone else has appeared! Has something happened that I don’t know about, like Donald Trump declaring a dictatorship?

  12. Lisi Nortman says:

    My husband tends to hoard
    Everything he’s adored
    I went into that closet
    And found my deposit
    For the registration of our ’69 Ford

  13. Lisi Nortman says:

    JIM’S OBNOXIOUS FAMILY REUNION

    I didn’t want that horde
    Of his family I abhorred
    But I had to make a spread
    So every one was fed
    And as usual, I was ignored

  14. Marty Gerendasy says:

    I remember the first time I scored.
    It was on the back seat of a Ford.
    Lots of squirming and squeezing.
    It was really quite pleasing.
    And a lot cheaper than getting whored!

  15. Lisi Nortman says:

    The lady on the zoning board
    Told me she has never scored
    “Strip Poker’s too confusing
    And I don’t find it amusing
    But I was considered a “ten” when I whored”

  16. Marty Gerendasy says:

    I wish I could recall where I stored
    All the stuff I decided to hoard.
    Thought I’d need it some day
    So I stashed it away.
    Now I think that I went overboard!

  17. Judith H. Block says:

    I have way too much stuff, yeah, I hoard.
    I’ve still got things from college. Oh, Lord!
    Though I’ve no room to spare,
    I really don’t care.
    Found the wonderful brooch I adored.

  18. Judith H. Block says:

    Out of chaos, will there be some light?
    An escape from political blight?
    I’m really depressed,
    Exhausted and stressed,
    There seems to be no hope in sight.

  19. Ken Gosse says:

    And the Beast Goes On ~
    The nights would get longer, I reckoned,
    as darkness and chaos both beckoned
    us into the gloom
    toward a long wint’ry tomb
    on the dawning of June twenty-second.

  20. David Reddekopp says:

    Where tensions were low, there’s renewal
    Where the fire dies out, he’ll add fuel
    Trump’s regime is chaotic
    He’s clearly neurotic
    And stupid, psychotic, and cruel.

  21. David Reddekopp says:

    There once was a woman, quite bored
    She went out on the street and she whored
    But she wasn’t a looker
    And no one would book her
    Her night as a hooker: ignored.

  22. Lisi Nortman says:

    CHAOS

    My house is in such disarray
    That I need a maid every day
    It’s such a chore
    When she opens the door
    She gets down on her knees just to pray

  23. Lisi Nortman says:

    The maddening chaos in my head
    Is giving me a feeling of tread
    As much as I try
    I can’t help but cry
    Should I wear blue or should I wear red ?

  24. Lisi Nortman says:

    NOT A DUPLICATE: MY TURN TO “ENTERTAIN :FAMILY REUNION

    I didn’t want that horde
    Of Jim’s family, I abhorred
    But I made a spread
    So all would be fed
    And as usual, I was ignored

  25. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS! WRONG WORD

    The maddening chaos in my head
    Is giving me a feeling of DREAD
    As much as I try
    I can’t help but cry
    Should I wear blue or should I wear red ?

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    There’s chaos in the world for sure
    No one wants any more
    I’m afraid of a bomb
    I can’t keep calm
    So I get a massage for a cure

  27. Lisi Nortman says:

    POLITICAL CHAOS

    Maybe Trump is a dream
    With a silly and foolish scheme
    Then you wake up
    Your mate says “WASSUP?
    You woke me with your deafening scream “

  28. Sharon Neeman says:

    New Twist on an Old Nursery Rhyme

    The shoe lady had children — a horde —
    And their keep she could barely afford,
    So she gave each a paddle
    And told them “Skedaddle!”,
    Inventing the phrase “bed and board.”

  29. Sharon Neeman says:

    She says that she’s never been bored —
    But consid’ring how often she’s whored,
    How many have filled her
    And reamed her and drilled her,
    That phrase she just cannot afford.

  30. Sharon Neeman says:

    A doubly chaotic view of the morning before renovations:

    The supplies were delivered today
    And the work starts tomorrow, they say;
    Now I can’t close my door —
    No, nor walk on the floor —
    For the boxes of tiles in the way;

    I’ve just had the nastiest fall
    On the sink that is blocking my hall;
    There’s a tap in my hat
    And I can’t find the cat
    And there’s no room to sleep here at all.

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    WORLD SERIES 2016

    At Wrigley there was quite a horde
    Of fans who were all on board
    “Next Year’s” finally here
    What their reason to cheer
    The Cubs have finally scored !

  32. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS ! WRONG WORD

    At Wrigley there was quite a horde
    Of fans who were all on board
    “Next Year’s” finally here
    WAS their reason to cheer
    The Cubs have finally scored !

  33. Lisi Nortman says:

    MAD PLEASE ADD THE WORD “CHICAGO” SO IT WILL READ THE CHICAGO CUBS HAVE FINALLY SCORED THANK YOU

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    Jim has a secret hoard
    Of all the things he’s adored
    I took a look
    And found a book
    With names of girls with whom he’s scored

  35. Ken Gosse says:

    Toward Ord’ from Chaos ~
    The pumpkin with curly-frocked gourd
    Somehow hoodwinked enough of the horde
    To get them onboard.
    Now we pine for our fjord
    As we fight for each inch we move for’d.

  36. Sharon Neeman says:

    His soon-to-be-ex caused great wonderment
    When she showed her relations what plunder meant:
    She took all that he’d scored
    For her personal hoard,
    Then kicked him downstairs on his fundament.

  37. Lisi Nortman says:

    CHAOS

    Jim’s relatives arrived from Prout
    All they did was scream and shout
    They went to an old show
    Starring Marilyn Monroe
    And I proceeded to lock them out

  38. Lisi Nortman says:

    not a duplicate

    CHAOS

    Jim’s relatives arrived from Prout
    All they did was scream and shout
    They went to an old show
    Starring Marilyn Monroe
    I THEN proceeded to lock them out

  39. Lisi Nortman says:

    CHAOS

    Having triplets is really a pain
    All they do is yell and complain
    So I have a plan
    I think I can
    Give them to my sister Elaine

  40. Brian Allgar says:

    The barbarians arrived in a horde;
    Their victory was easily scored.
    “Forget Genghis Khan,
    Donald Trump is our man!”
    They swept in while democracy snored.

  41. Brian Allgar says:

    “I’m Republican,” thundered the Lord.
    “I’ve no time for that loserly horde!
    Though the poor will inherit
    Far more than they merit,
    The 1% get the reward.”

  42. Brian Allgar says:

    Well done, Mr Mueller – three scored,
    Though let’s hope you will get the whole horde.
    The White House is cringeing,
    And Donald is whingeing:
    “Impeachment? I’m underinsured!”

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    When I saw his enormous hoard
    I was absolutely floored
    What wonderful treasures
    To give people great pleasures
    Just remember to keep them stored

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad Please change peoples to PEOPLE (GREAT PLEASURES) IN PREVIOUS LIMERICK THANK YOU

  45. Lisi Nortman says:

    MAD you would think, since I was a former teacher (now retired), I would know the difference between singular and plural
    “Just remember to keep THEM stored !!

    *****

    From MBK: Done.

  46. Tim James says:

    He gambled, he drank and he whored
    Till his wife, who was skilled with a sword,
    Lost her temper one day.
    So what price did épée?
    Like the biblical ox, he was gored.

  47. Sharon Neeman says:

    Disorder she’d always abhorred;
    When the hurricane came, she was floored!
    Her possessions were scattered
    And ruined and shattered.
    “Just take me now, Lord!” she implored.

    (Double duty limerick with a homophone!)

  48. Ken Gosse says:

    Raging Bullocks ~
    Great bulls ’Millo toreadored,
    And with Carmen he whored and he scored.
    Jose’s chaotic love
    Made him kill his sweet dove
    And confess to the exiting horde.

  49. Marty Gerendasy says:

    A young fellow desired to be whored,
    But the price he could barely afford.
    Didn’t get into bed,
    Turned the gal in instead.
    Now he lives it up on the reward!

  50. Nate Levin says:

    A country? Or are we a horde
    Of the aimless, the reckless, the bored?
    Our brains go in gear
    Just to find the next beer.
    It’s not soon we’ll have order restored.

  51. Fred Bortz says:

    WHY THEY DID IT

    Down the streets of Pamplona, the horde
    Of macho men dared being gored.
    They raced to their greeters,
    The fair Señoritas,
    Who bedded them as a reward.

  52. Lisi Nortman says:

    My wife claims that I have hoard
    40 years of junk in my 61 Ford
    She gave me one more warning
    So in the morning
    I found where Jimmy Hoffa was stored

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    THE HOOKERS CONVENTION

    The hookers were waiting to board
    The conductor was totally floored
    He couldn’t help but stare
    To see all of them there
    And loudly announced, “All Up Whored!”

  54. Lisi Nortman says:

    try again !

    My wife claims that I have hoard
    40 years of junk in my Ford
    So with shovel in hand
    And great command
    I found out where Hoffa was stored

  55. Lisi Nortman says:

    At the bar I met “Judy” who “whored”
    I have to say I was somewhat floored !
    She gave me her “list”
    Of all that I’ve missed
    But there was nothing I could afford

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    NOT A DUPLICATE

    My husband tends to hoard
    Things that he says he’s adored
    I went through “that closet”
    And found the deposit
    For the title of our ’61 Ford

  57. Lisi Nortman says:

    Hilary sneaked up the hill
    Accompanied by her hubby Bill
    The trouble with Dems
    Is they’re not all gems
    Just ask Donna Brazile

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    NOT A DUPLICATE

    Hilary sneaked up the hill
    Accompanied by her hubby Bill
    There’s CHAOS with the Dems
    Since they’re not all gems
    Just ask Donna Brazile

  59. Dave Johnson says:

    A few of Trump’s treasonous horde
    Were recently legally gored.
    The rest of his crew
    Doesn’t know what to do
    While Mueller is wielding his sword.

  60. Dave Johnson says:

    “Chaotic” can only describe
    A trip with the family tribe.
    From “Gotta go potty!”
    To “STOP BEING NAUGHTY!”
    3:30? It’s time to imbibe…

  61. Kirk Miller says:

    The young Catholic woman deplored her
    Life in chaos. A priest then implored her
    To become a young nun,
    And she did. Since it’s done,
    She can say that her life is in order.

  62. Lisi Nortman says:

    CHRISTMAS RECITAL ??

    We got into our brand new Ford
    To hear a recital at the church of “Our Lord”
    We slammed into 2 trees
    Of sleeping bees
    I can undoubtedly say we hit the wrong horde

  63. Dave Johnson says:

    Hi Mad – please remove “young” from line 2 of my posting above.
    Thanks, Dave J

    *****

    From MBK: Done.

  64. Lisi Nortman says:

    NOT A DUPLICATE

    “CHRISTMAS RECITAL”

    We got into our brand new Ford
    To hear a recital at the church of “Our Lord”
    We slammed into a tree
    Got attacked by a bee
    We undoubtedly struck the wrong horde

  65. Dave Johnson says:

    Beware of that blathering horde
    Now sowing the seeds of discord.
    From radio crocks
    To those jackals on FOX,
    Idiocracy can’t be ignored.

  66. Perry Plouff says:

    So now, Mad, your contests I’ve adored.
    You have always kept them above board.
    But now you’ve debased
    Your linguistic good taste
    Just by naming Don Trumpf and his horde.

  67. Diane Groothuis says:

    A miser was starting to hoard
    An assortment of stuff ‘cross the board.
    From his cupboard extruded
    Lots of junk which included
    Can you believe?? The ex-calibur sword.

  68. Bruce Alter says:

    Chaos ensued when the horde
    And their horses arrived at the fjord.
    Not one brought a kroner,
    Which was quite a boner,
    For the ferry would not let them board.

  69. Lisi Nortman says:

    OUR LOVABLE DOG CHEWIE

    Chewie tends to hoard
    Objects she’s loved and adored
    But a stinky dead bird
    With accompanying turd
    To the dumpster was immediately stored

  70. Lisi Nortman says:

    A CURE FOR CHAOS

    Chaos causes stress
    And overwhelming distress
    So when in bed
    We stand on our head
    While singing “Roses In Bloom”

  71. Lisi Nortman says:

    THAT WASN’T A LIMERICK !!!!! A CURE FOR CHAOS

    Chaos caused stress
    And overwhelming distress
    So in the bedroom
    We sing “Roses In Bloom”
    And in kinky costumes we dress

  72. Kay Davies says:

    O’er the head of The Man the truth soared
    As he sought not truth, but reward
    For things yet undone
    By him since he’d won
    His position: Great High Overlord

  73. Kay Davies says:

    To call it just anti-climactic
    Would trivialize every antic
    From purely chaos
    To merely bathos
    When in truth his wrongs are gigantic

  74. Lisi Nortman says:

    People who compulsively hoard
    Have OCD which should not be ignored
    People who compulsively hoard
    Have OCD which should not be ignored

  75. Brian Allgar says:

    The very first day that she whored,
    It was chaos, the numbers who scored.
    As she wiped off the drips
    From her face and her lips.
    She said “Weather was fine, but it poured!”

  76. Diane Groothuis says:

    Her hubby was getting quite bored
    With the way that his pretty wife whored
    As she told him those lies
    Saying “No other guys”
    He went back to sleep and just snored

  77. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the hooker, “It’s all over town;
    Trump will know what it feels like, the clown!
    He denies that he’s whored,
    But with Mueller on board,
    Pretty soon, Donald Trump’s going down!”

  78. Lisi Nortman says:

    She claimed she never scored
    And certainly never whored
    Said her name was Katie
    A very “proper” lady
    And Proprietor of “La Courtesan Room and Board”

  79. Lisi Nortman says:

    A DIFFERENT TAKE ON A PREVIOUS ONE:

    When she saw his enormous hoard
    She was absolutely floored
    What wonderful treasures
    To give people thrilling pleasures
    Some things should never be ignored

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    When I was ten we always played “Whored”
    My friend, DJT wasn’t bored
    I let him caress me
    And even undress me
    I’m so proud his inhibitions were cured

  81. Bruce Alter says:

    A story is that the Lord
    And the rest of His heavenly horde
    Liked donuts (not jelly,
    Apparently helly),
    Only the holely divinely adored.

  82. Kirk Miller says:

    From the mammals’ aquatic collusion
    To escape at the zoo, a profusion
    Of mayhem ensued
    Which workers soon rued.
    People said there was otter confusion.

  83. Lisi Nortman says:

    THE CHAOS OF AFFIRMATIVE ACTION IS STILL IN THE NEWS

    Affirmative Action is still in the news
    It’s giving some people the blues
    If your son gets the job, you’re for it
    If he doesn’t you surely abhor it
    So think hard, my friends: which side will you choose?

  84. Dean Geier says:

    I hope I don’t cause a mad horde
    For things that come out of my “gourd”!
    This old Tonight clip
    May make vegans flip
    But I, like the audience roared!

  85. Jane Hoffman says:

    A man who was inclined to hoard
    Even filled up his one car, a Ford.
    But he had a rule
    “My kids go to school!”
    So he tied them on top with a cord.

  86. Lisi Nortman says:

    CHAOS IN THE CLASSROOM; TEACHERS CAN RELATE

    I wish I had stayed in bed
    These kids are causing such dread
    But I can’t get away
    I know I must stay
    So I’ll jump out the window instead

  87. Kay Davies says:

    OH NO…Madeleine…typo in my previous…left the L-Y out of chaos line.

    To call it just anti-climactic
    Would trivialize every antic
    From purely chaos
    To merely bathos
    When in truth his wrongs are gigantic

  88. Lisi Nortman says:

    The chaos of moving’s a pain
    It seems to rattle your brain
    You pack and pack
    Till your back’s out of whack
    The movers arrive and it starts to rain

  89. Byron Miller aka Errol Nimbly says:

    A randy old Viking named Gord,
    Proposed this as he revved up the horde:
    “Let us rape and then pillage
    The neighbouring village
    And thrust them all in the fjord.”

  90. Byron Miller aka Errol Nimbly says:

    That randy old Viking named Gord,
    Liked to tell of the lands he’d explored:
    “In Venice, I’d fondle a
    Maid in a gondola,
    Poling her up the fjord.”

  91. Byron Miller aka Errol Nimbly says:

    That randy old Viking named Gord,
    Liked to tell of the lands where he’d whored:
    “In Venice, I’d fondle a
    Maid in her gondola,
    Poling her up the fjord.”

  92. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A Two-in-one

    Ever been in a house where they hoard?
    So much crap, chaos, smell – you’ll be floored!
    It is neutering, spaying
    These folks need, not praying.
    You’ll just end up saying, “Good Lord!”

  93. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The lascivious, lewd, lazy lord
    Had a harem, a hell of a horde.
    Lots of sex, his sole goal
    Stopped his heart, took its toll
    As too many a hole was explored.

  94. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The minister cried, “Praise the Lord!”
    To his sheeple, the gullible horde
    “Just keep tithing, don’t falter
    Exalt my new vault, er,
    I mean the new altar, restored.”

  95. Suzanne Heymann says:

    On my lap, my cute Shih Tzu had pooed.
    I freaked out, and then chaos ensued
    It was much worse a sin
    Than just stuck to my skin;
    That’s because I had been in the nude!

  96. Suzanne Heymann says:

    True story:

    Her room was a chaotic mess
    She would tell me (but really confess):
    “Don’t clean up! Don’t get rid!
    I know where it’s all hid!”
    Well folks, that is my kid, sloppy Jess!

  97. Lisi Nortman says:

    STILL ON THE NEWS ???????

    Is there a Democratic horde
    Who have secretly and purposely ignored
    Hillary’s server
    I’m just an observer
    But give me a break ! I’m getting so BORED !!

  98. Dave Johnson says:

    The Donald Trump White House is run
    On chaos; just part of his fun.
    Ineptness has soared
    With this blundering horde;
    They race to the bottom as one.

  99. Dave Johnson says:

    Mad -In line 4 above, please change the last word to “horde”.
    Thanks, Dave J

    ****

    From MBK: Done.

  100. Judith H. Block says:

    The whole Country is going insane,
    Sad and fearful thoughts now fill my brain,
    I just want to hide,
    Can’t take things in stride.
    I’m aghast by Trump’s chaotic reign.

  101. Fred Bortz says:

    With the whole Red Light District explored,
    Where each one of the horde had been whored,
    The warriors returned
    To their base where they learned
    About STD treatments ignored.

  102. Fred Bortz says:

    A physicist’s twofer:

    Our impulse is often to hoard
    Or to stop what we see as disord-
    er. We all wish that we
    Could have less entropy,
    ‘Cause chaos we cannot afford.

    Alas, Physics isn’t on board.
    Thermo’s Laws simply can’t be ignored.
    Though it’s not always pleasing,
    Our mess keeps increasing
    No matter how much it’s abhorred.

    If you think it’s improved when you’ve stored
    Every thing in its place, tied with cord,
    Somewhere else it is worse.
    That is entropy’s curse.
    (Time to stop this before you get bored.)

  103. Lisi Nortman says:

    JANE AGE 8 SAYS:

    Sometimes when I’m bored
    I go get mommy’s sword
    Then I put on her high heels
    (Oh I love how they feels)
    And play her game called “Whored”

  104. Lisi Nortman says:

    BLOOD CURDLING CHAOS (TO SAY THE LEAST !)

    We went to the grocery store
    To buy milk, cheese and more
    On our ride home approached
    A bear who disturbingly encroached
    And ate our granola with a joyous and deafening roar

  105. Dave Johnson says:

    On display, an unusual hoard
    Of artifacts nicely restored.
    Erotic in style,
    They remind with a smile
    How debauchery scored with the bored.

  106. Lisi Nortman says:

    TOO MANY WORDS LET’S TRY AGAIN !!!!!

    We went to the grocery store
    To purchase milk, cheese and more
    On our ride home approached
    A bear who encroached
    And ate our granola with a deafening roar

  107. Lisi Nortman says:

    MAD: THE LIMERICK CONCERNING “THE BEAR” IS “CHAOS”

  108. Lisi Nortman says:

    NOT A DUPLICATE

    JANIE AGE 8 SAYS:

    Sometimes when I feel bored
    I go and get mommy’s sword
    Then I put on HER HEELS
    Wow, I love how they feels
    And play her game called “Whored”

  109. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS CHAOS

    We shopped and got quite a hoard
    Of groceries at the famous Smith and Lord
    On our ride home approached
    A bear who encroached
    And feasted on our granola bars while he happily roared

  110. Dave Johnson says:

    On Tuesday the Democrats scored
    Over Trump and that fright-winger horde.
    They’ll quicken their pace
    As Republicans race
    Away from his poisonous sword.

  111. Byron Miller/aka Errol Nimbly says:

    Said the wife of a Viking named Gord:
    I am sick of these skulls that you hoard.
    You’ve your choice of a bin,
    That we’ll throw them all in,
    Or, your death, at the end of my sword.

  112. Dave Johnson says:

    Away from the maddening horde,
    Sean Spicer has found his reward.
    “I’m free to relax
    From relentless attacks;
    And tell a few fibs when I’m bored.”

  113. Lisi Nortman says:

    Many years ago I whored
    After a while, I became quite bored
    Then I had a vision
    And made a decision
    Now I’m a nun at the church of “Our Lord”

  114. Lisi Nortman says:

    LIMERICK CORRECTION

    We shopped and bought quite a hoard
    At a store called “Peaches and Gourd”
    On our ride home approached
    A bear who encroached
    And ate our food while he happily roared

  115. Lisi Nortman says:

    I wept when my daughter whored
    And was disobeying the Lord
    But now she’s a call girl
    I’m so proud of my sweet Pearl
    The phone company’s her gracious reward

  116. Judith H. Block says:

    Will this scary chaos ever cease?
    It seems now, only just to increase.
    Corruption overruns,
    Wealth disparity stuns.
    We want justice, equality, peace.

  117. Lisi Nortman says:

    My husband and I had hoard
    Six months of dirty laundry we stored
    But the neighbors said “PHEW”
    When we had our review
    So we were ejected from our room and board

  118. Lisi Nortman says:

    The one time that I whored
    I felt I really scored
    I said, “not again”
    That was until when
    I received my huge financial reward

  119. Lisi Nortman says:

    Our teacher was Miss Whored
    We learned and we explored
    The planets and sky
    All the wonders up high
    And how to turn a trick in the back of a Ford

  120. Tim James says:

    Acrostic…

    Pay heed to what’s up in D.C.:
    Utter chaos ‘round hookers who pee.
    There’s just one man who scores
    In this tale of the whores.
    Now look left, and you’ll see who’s the key.

  121. Lisi Nortman says:

    You should see what my Jimmy had hoard
    In his brand new turquoise and keen looking Ford
    A box of condoms to give him thrills
    A variety of certain birth control pills
    I hope he’s happy in his New Zealand fjord

  122. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Here’s a limerick in honor of World Science Day (today):

    On climate change, Trump wants to ban it
    The ember of chaos – he’ll fan it.
    He refuses to listen
    To facts that he’s missin’
    With actions dismissin’ the planet.

    The scientists have all the proof
    All their work done got scrapped by him – Poof!
    He believes there is worth
    In destroying the earth.
    How’d his momma give birth to that goof?!

  123. Judith H. Block says:

    I’ve so many great books that I hoard,
    I know well that I’ll never be bored.
    But to my great dismay.
    Scant space comes into play.
    My bed’s the only place they’re not stored.

  124. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Before you take off in a jet,
    There is one thing you must not forget:
    Cancellation insurance!
    Or feel the occurrence
    Of chaos endurance and debt!

  125. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I explored, then ignored and got bored
    At the knick-knack convention (oh lord)
    The ex-hookers adored
    All the junk that they stored
    They’re a horde of whored hoarders who hoard.

  126. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is… Limerick-Off Award 285.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Whined.

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