Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WHINED or WINED or UNWIND at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WHINED or WINED or UNWIND at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to REVENGE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best REVENGE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 26, 2017 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 25, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A besotted young man would unwind
With his girlfriend, who wasn’t too kind;
She would tie him up tight,
Then depart for the night.
He was bound to be left in a bind.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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84 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WHINED or WINED or UNWIND at the end of any one line”

  1. brian allgar says:

    The President pouted and pined,
    The insults of Kim on his mind.
    “I’d roast him like mutton
    By pressing this button,
    So why won’t they let me?” he whined.

  2. brian allgar says:

    The bimbo, though thoroughly wined,
    Was surprised that they hadn’t yet dined.
    He said “Ready to eat?
    I’ve been saving a treat,
    And it’s highly nutritious, you’ll find.”

  3. brian allgar says:

    “Are you dumb?” the Republicans whined,
    “Are you out of your liberal mind?
    A paedophile, Moore?
    All those kids knew the score –
    It’s his victims who should be confined!”

  4. brian allgar says:

    The DNA helix, we find,
    Is a structure that tends to unwind
    In a creature that’s dumb,
    Which accounts for the crumb
    That is Donald’s neanderthal mind.

  5. brian allgar says:

    In the White House, the scene is grotesque;
    There’s a message that’s quite Kafkaesque:
    “Out to lunch – must unwind –
    Donald Trump”, it is signed.
    But he’s sitting right there at his desk.

  6. brian allgar says:

    “This summer-time change is no lark!”,
    Moaned the Druids, at work in the dark.
    They dreamt of revenge
    As they time-changed Stonehenge
    By moving the stones round the park.

  7. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A blogger, not one of a kind
    Did not let the pressure unwind
    After six hours straight
    it would not abate
    Causing mind blowing thrump from behind

  8. brian allgar says:

    He found the cuisine too refined
    In the White House. “It’s garbage!” he whined.
    “Just gimme a Mac
    For a meal or a snack!”
    Yes, junk food went well with his mind.

  9. Marty Gerendasy says:

    A young man was delighted to find
    An exciting new way to unwind.
    Had it all well in hand
    ‘Til one day it was banned.
    Mom said “stop it or else you’ll go blind!”

  10. Marty Gerendasy says:

    She sobbed and she cried and she whined.
    “How can everyone be so unkind?
    Their remarks are so crude,
    Don’t they know that it’s rude.
    To make fun of a lady’s behind?”

  11. Marty Gerendasy says:

    A young lady was dined and was wined
    By a fellow with lust in his mind.
    She had great gratitude
    For the guy’s attitude
    ‘Cause a hard man is so good to find!

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    There’s so much stress, need to unwind,
    Life can be so cruel, so unkind.
    Maybe I’m just thin-skinned,
    Too easily chagrined.
    ‘Cause others just don’t seem to mind.

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    Spent a lot on a gal, dined and wined.
    Had a plan up his sleeve, bear in mind.
    But foods were all she bit,
    Not turned on by his wit.
    He left unsatisfied and resigned.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    Disappointed, she pouted and whined,
    Once more, her enormous genius, declined.
    She vowed to keep trying,
    Though inwardly, crying,
    By her failures, she won’t be defined.

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    Just give him more cakes, ice cream and fries,
    More fast foods for the brat we despise.
    How sweet is this revenge
    Our Country, avenge!
    Feed him Big Macs and hope that he dies.

  16. brian allgar says:

    As Thanksgiving dinner drew nigh,
    The turkey was starting to cry.
    But revenge would be sweet
    When they chewed on her meat –
    She had bird flu! The diners would die.

  17. brian allgar says:

    Ooops! ‘Night’ should be ‘nigh’.


    From MBK: I fixed it.

  18. brian allgar says:


    “To take action or not?” Hamlet whined.
    “Avenging my Dad would be kind;
    There are arguments for,
    But against, there are more ….
    I simply can’t make up my mind.”

  19. brian allgar says:


    He was grabbed by a fist hard as steel;
    The Donald emitted a squeal
    Like a pig at the slaughter.
    “Hey, Dad!” said his daughter,
    “This grabbing thing – how does it feel?”

  20. brian allgar says:

    (Needless to say, I’m not thinking of any specific person.)

    “Paedophiliac incest?” he whined.
    “How dare you! It’s true we entwined,
    But when ‘push’ comes to ‘shove’,
    It’s just fatherly love,
    And fully consensual, you’ll find.”

  21. brian allgar says:

    Said Zeus, “I am rather inclined
    To think showers of rain unrefined.”
    So he changed his disguise;
    Leda gasped in surprise –
    The swan and the girl were entwined.

  22. Alissa Cotton says:

    “Stranger Things? Not quite 80s,” I whined.
    “But those references- you must be blind!”
    “Sure, it’s chock-full of glee
    from Mad Max to E.T.,
    but it’s missing ‘Be Kind, Please Rewind!’”

  23. Roger Harris says:

    A woman who’s overly wined,
    Is what I’d be lucky to find,
    But people cry, shame!
    As if we’re to blame,
    For civilization declined.

  24. Lisi Nortman says:

    He took me to dinner, wined and dined
    Oh what a man (so refined)
    Then struck me in the head
    Tied my hands to the bed
    I’ve never been in such a bind

  25. Graham Lester says:

    A little while after I’ve dined,
    I do something quite unrefined,
    But don’t say I “puked” —
    You’ll be sternly rebuked!
    I’d prefer you to say I “un-wined”.

  26. Kirk Miller says:

    When the mayor was hit in the head
    By a pie, he was filled with much dread.
    No revenge did he seek;
    Simply turned other cheek.
    “Let’s let pie-gones be pie-gones,” he said.

  27. Lisi Nortman says:


    Doctor “G” told Jim “NEVER A TREAT !!”
    “Your sugar is high and you’ve swollen feet”
    But I caught him with “Di”
    Then baked him a pie
    Ah! Revenge; ain’t it SWEET?

  28. Lisi Nortman says:

    I never meant to be unkind
    Buy my “Baby Doll” continually whined:
    “I need Freddy!!
    My favorite Teddy”
    (She’s thirty years old and out of her mind)

  29. Kirk Miller says:

    Courtroom judge drives back home. His wife, Kay,
    Says to kids, “From your dad, stay away.
    He just needs to unwind,
    ‘Cause we’re likely to find
    He is stressed from a long, trying day.”

  30. Sue Dulley says:

    Some guy in the ’80s designed
    A jacket and ski pants combined.
    Though perfect for skiing
    ‘Twas not great for peeing –
    “I won’t wear a onesie” I whined.

  31. Sue Dulley says:

    Whole coffee beans I used to grind,
    Delicious if you’re so inclined
    But now I buy ground
    ‘Cos I hated the sound
    Of the grinder; it buzzed and it whined.

  32. Lisi Nortman says:

    When a woman is elegantly dined and wined
    Her date has other things in mind
    So just be ready
    To invite Freddie
    To explore the wonders of your behind

  33. Sharon Neeman says:

    Although regally housed, wined and dined
    On my travels, once home, I do find
    That there’s much to be said
    For my own cozy bed,
    And that home’s the one place I unwind.

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    “If I don’t learn to unwind,
    “I will simply go out of my mind !”
    “Hey, stop shakin”
    I’LL bring home the bacon!”
    But I am Jewish, so I simply declined

  35. Ufudu says:

    Thinking she was about to be wined
    And even very possibly dined
    She went up to his room
    And found out all too soon
    The silver cloud with Weinstein was lined

  36. Ufudu says:

    Brazenly pointing his pale microphone
    Demanding she audition her poem
    Enjoying his power
    Over the naive pale young flower
    Not knowing she pressed record on her phone

    Soon lawyers and detectives were hired
    (That’s just how the big man was wired)
    To impugn her good name
    Was all part of his game
    Until he found out he was fired

    Not one to take things lying down
    (Not even in his massage dressing gown)
    He forswore his bad habits
    Hopped away like a rabbit
    To a clinic way way out of town

  37. Lisi Nortman says:


    I never meant to be unkind
    But my Baby Doll continually whined
    “I want my Freddie
    He’s my bestest Teddy”
    (She’s thirty and out of her mind)

  38. Lisi Nortman says:


    Jim was outrageously bold
    Told me I’ve been looking old
    “Forgot” to turn on the oven
    For my “Ever Lovin”
    And presented him with “REVENGE SERVED COLD”

  39. Lisi Nortman says:

    FUNNIER !!!!

    “If I don’t learn to unwind,
    I will simply go out of my mind:
    “Sweetie, stop shakin’
    I’ll bring home the bacon”
    But I’m KOSHER,so I simply declined

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    My little brother always whined
    Because I called him the “weird kind”
    He used to eat bugs
    Including filthy slugs
    And instead of the fruit, he’d eat the rind

  41. Lisi Nortman says:


    If your boss is very mean
    Here’s an idea that’s really keen
    Put sugar in his tank
    So his car won’t “crank”
    Then you’ll feel thrillingly obscene

  42. Lisi Nortman says:

    After we wined and dined
    He said he would be “very kind”
    One breast was lumpy
    The other was bumpy
    I said, “That’s the way they were designed”

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    After we dined and wined
    Charlie said he’d be gentle and kind
    So I took off my frock
    And to his astonishing shock
    He noticed I’d been re-assigned

  44. Lisi Nortman says:


    After we wined and dined
    He said he’d be very kind
    One breast was lumpy
    The other was bumpy
    I said, “That’s the way they’re designed”

  45. John Armstrong says:

    Mad is slowly losing her mind
    For entries are so hard to find
    Limericks are neat
    Which don’t smell like feet
    But I only think of that kind

  46. Fred Bortz says:

    On Facebook, our Mad Kane has whined
    That submissions this week have declined.
    So I’ve dashed this one off,
    Though it’s hardly enoff
    To match the best fruits of my mind.

  47. John Armstrong says:

    Mad is slowly losing her mind
    For entries are so hard to find
    Limericks are neat
    That don’t smell like feet
    “That’s all I thought of,” I whined

  48. John J Ordover says:

    A young man who whined when he wined
    Was treated in ways most unkind
    “Be quiet! they’d scold him
    “Oh, get out!” they told him
    So a new place he’d find to unwind.

  49. brian allgar says:

    As usual, I thought I’d unwind
    With a whisky or two. But I find
    That some visiting bastard
    Got thoroughly plastered,
    And left not a droplet behind!

  50. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    In looking for ways to unwind,
    A limerick fest comes to mind.
    But the others that vie
    Make me not want to try
    As my talents with them aren’t aligned.

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    Sometimes when I’m wined and dined
    I feel I’m going out of my mind
    All I eat are Swedish Fishes
    M&M’s and Hershey’s Kisses
    I’m just the sweetest girl you’ll ever find

  52. Randy Wagner says:

    With his crotch rubbing Helen’s behind,
    Paris relished their hot bump and grind
    But his Trojan attire
    Sheathed his virile desire.
    “Bareback buggery’s better!” she whined.

  53. Dave Johnson says:

    (An HBO-inspired themed acrostic)

    A two-timing boyfriend she’d rock;
    No more would the key fit her lock.
    Gave away all those clothes,
    Reconfigured his nose;
    Yet longed for occasional cock.

    Pimp Tanya, her phone having rung,
    Assured those credentials she’d sung.
    Thirty strokes to unwind;
    To make such a great find!
    You guessed it – Ray Drecker was “Hung”.

  54. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Baked a cake, yes, your favorite kind
    Made with rum just to help you unwind.
    You know, nothin’ says “lovin”‘
    Like fresh from the oven,
    But none of that shove-and-push kind!

  55. Suzanne Heymann says:

    His date was soon dined and (yes) wined
    And in time, he would touch her behind
    But she drank too much booze
    Then she started to snooze
    Hey there, fella, you lose! She declined!

  56. Mr Paul says:

    ‪A young man got in a bind‬
    ‪Looking for ways to unwind ‬
    ‪Till he found that his thing ‬
    ‪Was pretending to be string ‬
    ‪The answer he was so glad to find!‬

  57. Judith H Block says:

    A modification of the last line of my posted limerick (my friend said “die” was “mean”. I’m a nice person. LOL

    Just give him more cakes, ice cream and fries,
    More fast foods for the brat we despise.
    How sweet is this revenge
    Our Country, avenge!
    Feed him Whoppers, that’s what I advise!

  58. Judith H Block says:

    Give him more cakes, ice cream and fries,
    More fast foods for the brat we despise.
    How sweet is this revenge
    Our Country, avenge!
    Feed him Whoppers, that’s what I advise!

  59. Dave Johnson says:

    A road-rager flashing his light
    Flipped them off as he passed on the right.
    Moments later they saw
    He’d been stopped by the law;
    “That’s him” she said. “Thanks and good night.”

  60. Dave Johnson says:

    “They don’t understand me” he whined;
    “I’m perfect – just one of a kind!
    We’re going MY way;
    I don’t care what they say!”
    As the world leaves our country behind.

  61. Sharon Neeman says:

    “Your Honor, my man was a sinner;
    I forgave him, though — cooked a great dinner…
    I don’t know,” blushed the bride,
    “Why he suddenly died;
    Please don’t ask me — I’m just a beginner!”

  62. Sharon Neeman says:

    He scratched and he howled and he whined
    As she did a full strip, bump and grind.
    When she shed the last bits
    And revealed quim and tits,
    He thought he’d go out of his mind…

    On the phone, she revealed to her sister
    That her husband had wronged her and dissed her.
    “But I used that old spell
    That you taught me so well —
    Now he’s such a good doggie, my Mister!”

  63. brian allgar says:

    Revenge can be sweet, it is said,
    So on finding my best friend in bed
    With my wife, arsenic paste
    Mixed with sugar for taste,
    Then I sprinkled the stuff on his bread.

  64. brian allgar says:

    The Donald has been much maligned;
    To say he lacks brains is unkind.
    To make them appear,
    Shove the key in his ear,
    And give the whole thing a good wind.

  65. Lisi Nortman says:

    We always dined and wined
    Mother taught us to be very refined
    If we used the wrong fork
    When eating her pork
    We’d get a good smack in the behind

  66. Lisi Nortman says:


    My little brother always whined
    Because I called him “Mr Weird Kind”
    He used to eat bugs
    Including filthy slugs
    Instead of the fruit, he’d eat the rind

  67. Dave Johnson says:

    “Hey buddy, I hope you don’t mind;
    Tequila will help her unwind.”
    He took that advice
    And followed it twice;
    In hopes they would end up entwined.

    It didn’t go quite as he planned;
    With tolerance her upper hand.
    Experience won,
    He was over and done;
    Then she left with some guy in the band.

  68. Lisi Nortman says:

    He took me out (dined and wined)
    Those proper “Brits” are just so refined
    “Now just take off you jumper
    So we can thumper,
    That is, my Dear, if you are so inclined”

  69. Lisi Nortman says:


    He took me out (dined and wined)
    Those proper “Brits” are just so refined
    “Now take off your frock
    And I’ll show you my cock;
    That is, my Dear, if you are so inclined”

  70. Lisi Nortman says:


    He took out the women (dined and wined)
    They couldn’t believe he was so refined
    Then he groped them
    And passionately stroked them
    Later on he was sufficiently maligned

  71. Lisi Nortman says:



    From MBK: Changed to “later on.”

  72. Dave Johnson says:

    The voice was both sultry and kind;
    “You’re ready to play.” she divined.
    That having been said
    With a stroke to the head,
    Her bunny would start to unwind.

  73. Kathleen Bartoletti says:

    At the end of the week I unwind
    By throwing back scotch till I am blind;
    Then I stagger home
    A drunken old gnome,
    Grateful that my poor wife does not mind!

  74. John J Ordover says:

    A Young Man was stabbed in the back
    By by a Big Man who wore only black
    The Young Man swore vengeance
    and souped up his engines
    “til the Big Man in black, he came back!

  75. P Diane Schneider says:

    It’s for better times we’ve all pined
    And forty-five has just whined
    Do it his way!
    He, too, wants his day!
    But what we are selling is kind.

  76. Dave Johnson says:

    The Donald has blubbered and whined:
    “It’s fake news – there’s nothing to find!
    I really can’t see
    Why they’re looking at me!”
    Perhaps he’s illegally blind.

  77. Lisi Nortman says:

    My blind date was supposedly very kind
    “Never pouted, never whined”
    But when I saw her head
    It looked like an un-made bed
    She clearly needed to be redesigned

  78. Lisi Nortman says:

    If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you twice
    To me you must always be nice
    You made fun of my cooking
    And I know you’ve been “booking”
    So here, for your eye, is a piece of ice


  79. Lisi Nortman says:

    There was something about John (undefined)
    He said ” I have a great way to unwind”
    He tied up my feet
    Under a bag of concrete
    I have to say I was securely entwined

  80. Lisi Nortman says:


    There was something about John (undefined)
    Claimed he had a special way to really unwind
    He twisted up my feet
    Under a block of concrete
    And on that very day I was securely entwined

  81. Lisi Nortman says:


    Most Americans have a very good heart
    They elected a man whom they thought was smart
    But he fooled us all
    Trying to build a wall
    So hard-working immigrants may have to depart

  82. Lisi Nortman says:


    Many diligent Americans have a good heart
    They elected a man whom they felt was smart
    But he fooled them all
    Claiming he’ll build a wall
    So hard-working immigrants may have to depart


  83. Lisi Nortman says:

    If you think you’re going out of your mind
    Here’s a good way for you to unwind
    Have a smoke
    Or do some dope
    Share it with your wife or you’ll be unkind

  84. Tim James says:

    A butcher once plaintively whined:
    “I hate that my job is a grind.
    My life’s come a cropper:
    I backed into my chopper!”
    His work’s got a little behind.

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