Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GAME at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GAME at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COWARDICE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COWARDICE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 10, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 9, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Relaxation’s your aim? Play a game!
You say Sorry’s “too tame?” Scrabble’s “lame?”
Check out Uno, chess, gin.
Try for fun; not to win.
You flame out? Don’t go blaming this dame!

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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141 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GAME at the end of any one line”

  1. Marty Gerendasy says:

    When the lady was up on her game,
    She could put all the others to shame.
    With the wink of an eye
    She could get any guy,
    And she’d make them all glad that they came.

  2. David Reddekopp says:

    You Might Be a Redneck…

    The hunter went out with his daughter
    He thought it was time that he taught her
    So she said “Sure, I’m game!”
    He then turned and took aim
    With his gun, pulled the trigger, and shot her!

  3. David Reddekopp says:

    Make that “He then turned and took aim”, please.

    ****
    Done.

  4. Ailsa McKillop says:

    In his knee-boots and frock—what’s his game?
    Why the bright coloured wig that will frame
    His well powdered cheeks
    For the next four/five weeks?
    It’s the month of the pantomime dame!

  5. Marty Gerendasy says:

    She was quite an exceptional dame,
    Always right at the top of her game.
    Many talents and skills
    Helped her pay all her bills
    And would bring her great fortune and fame.

  6. Ailsa McKillop says:

    On the wall it hung, stitched, in a frame
    The fond motto of Scots to proclaim:
    “East or West, Hame is Best”.
    The American guest
    Said “This Hame guy—just what is his game?”

  7. Sharon Neeman says:

    A young woman, Lorena* by name,
    Had a man with a really bad game;
    In disgust, she one day
    Cut his joystick away
    (They repaired it, but never the same).

    Tom Paxton with an appropriate song.

  8. Ailsa McKillop says:

    The discussion concerned aspartame.
    Not if “toxic” or “harmless”—its name.
    “A-spart-a-me” was mooted.
    Oh, how we all hooted!
    We call it that now, as a game.

  9. Sharon Neeman says:

    There once was a young man named Spiro
    Who served as a World War II hero.
    Ah, but history describes,
    As a pol, he took bribes,
    Then wimped his way out. What a zero!

    (Spiro Theodore Agnew, November 9, 1918 – September 17, 1996)

  10. Jesse Levy says:

    I just saw that actor. His name
    I can’t quite recall but I’m game
    To try to remember.
    Might take til December
    My memory’s just not the same.

  11. brian allgar says:

    “North Korea must go! It’s a shame,”
    Said the Donald, “but Kim is to blame,
    So I simply press ZAP
    And it’s gone from the map!”
    Donald loves his new video game.

  12. Lisi Nortman says:

    I know I shouldn’t feel shame
    And I’m not the one to blame
    But when it comes to romance
    I just can’t do that dance
    It must be “All In The Game”

  13. brian allgar says:

    Donald Junior thinks it a shame
    That although he can slaughter and maim,
    He cannot import
    Tusks and heads from his sport –
    To him, it is all a big game.

  14. brian allgar says:

    Donald thinks he’s one hell of a fellow.
    “Nothing scares me!” the braggart will bellow.
    But as Mueller draws near,
    Donald trembles with fear;
    Both his hair and his belly are yellow.

  15. brian allgar says:

    The Republicans dare not say no
    To the tax cuts, but something must go:
    Medicare, Medicaid!
    Otherwise, they’re afraid
    That their payoffs will no longer flow.

  16. brian allgar says:

    He had answered Red Riding Hood’s call;
    Scared by wolves, she was helpless and small.
    “Don’t be frightened, my dear,
    You’ll be safe now I’m here.”
    But Roy Moore was the worst wolf of all.

  17. brian allgar says:

    When caught with a girl on the game
    By his wife, his excuse was quite lame.
    Though she found them in bed,
    The ex-firefighter said:
    “Don’t worry, she’s just an old flame.”

  18. brian allgar says:

    At the dentist, I’m really quite brave,
    But each morning, I gibber and rave
    At the blood and the pain,
    Swearing “Never again!”
    I’m a coward when having to shave.

  19. brian allgar says:

    Said the Donald, “Go back where you came
    From! No Dreamers! Obama’s to blame!
    But before we deport ya,
    Some old-fashioned torture –
    It’s harmless, this waterboard game.”

  20. brian allgar says:

    She decided to go on the game.
    After all, there was no longer shame
    In selling one’s body;
    How could it be shoddy
    When First Ladies did just the same?

  21. Mark Kane says:

    Turning tricks in hotels was her game.
    And with most johns the work was the same.
    They’d agree on a price,
    For his pleasures and vice,
    Then she’d leave shortly after he came.

  22. Lisi Nortman says:

    When Elvis got into the “game”
    A sensation he surely became
    But with drugs, and all that
    He got puffy and fat
    Now ain’t that a “Cryin’ Shame?

  23. Lisi Nortman says:

    Romeo asked, “What’s in a name?”
    A quote that will always remain
    But my name was Schmuck
    And I changed it to “Luck”
    I just couldn’t play William’s game

  24. Lisi Nortman says:

    Twins are one in the same
    They’ll often have a “rhyming” name
    But Annie was uncanny
    And shot sister Fanny
    She unquestionably had very good aim+

    Twins are one in the same
    They often have a rhyming name
    But Annie was uncanny
    And shot sister Fanny
    She unquestionably had very good aim

  25. Marty Gerendasy says:

    How I miss, really miss my old flame.
    Now she’s gone, and it’s really a shame.
    Really thought she was hot.
    But for me, she was not.
    ‘Cause to her it was only a game.

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    If you’re into the baby-name game
    Give him one that will not cause shame
    If you call him Giraffe
    All the kids will laugh
    And you’ll be the one to blame

  27. Judith H Block says:

    I’m getting quite sick of this game,
    What’s the point of it, I get no fame.
    I’m trying my best,
    Got this rage off my chest,
    Guess I’ll try again now, just the same.

  28. Judith H Block says:

    There once was a lovely, young dame,
    For a sex tryst, she was always game.
    She’d get an invite,
    Much to her delight.
    Was damned sure that she always came.

  29. Judith H Block says:

    Repub bastards, this isn’t a game,
    Your tax plan’s a disaster! For shame!
    Huge tax cuts for the rich.
    Just a con, bait- and- switch.
    Look what the Party of Lincoln became!

  30. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Making war is a dangerous game.
    Its intent is to kill and to maim.
    Something we must avoid
    Or we’ll all be destroyed.
    And there’ll be no one left we can blame.

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    14 YEARS OLD 1961

    I think Jonathan was his name
    He was so aroused and he came
    I thought it was “Ivory Liquid”
    And he was afflicted
    With the dreaded “Detergent Flame”

  32. Randy Wagner says:

    “A blowjob’s a zero-sum game”
    Was a street-savvy pro’s telling claim.
    “You spill it; I quaff it.
    You pay and I profit,”
    She gushed ere she went and he came.

  33. Judith H Block says:

    That good-looking guy- Yup, I’m game.
    To not even try’d be a shame.
    It was lust at first glance,
    He didn’t have a chance.
    I saw him, I conquered, I came.

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS

    14 years old 1961

    I thought Jonathan was playing a game
    He was so aroused and then he came
    I thought: IVORY LIQUID ?
    Oh no he’s afflicted
    with the dreaded frightning ” Detergent Flame”

  35. Dave Johnson says:

    A streaker disrupted the game
    With antics the cops couldn’t tame.
    Deceptively fast,
    His yardage bare-assed
    Surpassed what the home team could claim.

    True story – just ask the Buffalo Bills.

  36. Randy Wagner says:

    A blow-by-blow saga of shame
    Features Sookie whose hummers are lame.
    But they’re still compensating
    Her sucky fellating
    Which keeps her ahead of the game.

  37. Randy Wagner says:

    Madeline – please correct my misspelled word “fellating”.

    *****

    Done.

  38. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Abreakaway Limerick format

    There once was a dame at the top of her game
    Not a willy bit tame or inclined towards shame
    Fit as a fiddle
    Lived with a riddle
    Cause, the man with no name she fancied, was lame.

  39. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    cowardice
    or
    Don’t dice with the cow

    Don’t dip your whole cow in cold ice
    To kill all the midges and lice
    Cause frozen shut tits
    Milk giving is pits
    And yogurt won’t be very nice

    (Don’t try this at home!)

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    ANNIE AND FANNY

    Twins are sometimes similar in name
    They even like to play the same game
    But Annie was uncanny
    And shot her sister Fanny
    Claiming it was “in honor of her name”

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    She wanted to achieve fortune and fame
    So she thought she’d play a “popular” game
    Find a famous politician
    Who has great ambition
    And one whom you can easily frame

  42. Lisi Nortman says:

    RUBE TAKES JIM TO HIS PROCEDURE (COWARDICE)

    He needs to look up my ass
    God forbid there might be a mass
    Then I looked at that tube
    And said to Rube,
    “Your turn, I’ll take a pass”

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    I WAS JUST 14 !!!

    My boyfriend’s name was Howard
    And he was the ultimate coward
    I wanted to try “it”
    But he wouldn’t buy it
    I just wanted to be de-flowerd

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    I had a fearful doubt
    This root canal? (what was it about?)
    When I got there
    I said a prayer
    And then got the hell out

    (COWARDICE)

  45. Dave Johnson says:

    Her boyfriend just wasn’t the same;
    Excuses – increasingly lame.
    Then later she found
    He was playing around;
    Maintaining his skin in the game.

  46. Lisi Nortman says:

    JOHN IS A COWARD !

    I wanted to marry Flo
    But I was afraid she’d say “no”
    So I asked my friend Dee
    If she would do it for me
    She said, “Are you crazy? She’s a Ho

  47. Susan Settje says:

    There’s a season of getting to tame.
    Is that fam’ly the Jones’ to blame?
    Did the need to succeed
    Bring material greed–
    Is consumption a winnerless game?

  48. Dave Johnson says:

    (With a nod to Bud Light)

    The contest – delightfully silly:
    Where Corgis all race willy-nilly.
    Unable to name
    A more humorous game;
    To that, we reply “Dilly Dilly!”

  49. Roger Dalrymple says:

    A young lad was up on his game,
    Never mild, or meek, or tame.
    “This guy is a joke,
    Not at all a nice bloke.
    He’s the pumpkin that put us to shame.”

  50. Lisi Nortman says:

    Bingo was our favorite game
    At the Senior Center on ‘Ole Des Plain
    The numbers were mixed
    But some said it was “fixed”
    Now we’ve lost our chance at fortune and fame

  51. Susan Settje says:

    He was 8 when he first learned the game,
    A prodigy headed for fame.
    Magnus rose to grand master
    (just two’ve done it faster)
    The Reigning World Champ is his claim.
    Magnus Carlsen is a Norwegian Chess Grandmaster and the #1 World Chess Champion. An exceptional chess prodigy, he became a chess grandmaster in 2004, at the age of 13 years, 148 days, making him the third youngest grandmaster in history. He is the highest rated player in the world and in the history of chess, with a peak rating of 2881.

  52. Lisi Nortman says:

    AGE 7 1953

    My friend Jimmy Mc Clame
    Said “Doctor” is this brand new game !
    “Just take off your clothes,
    And I’ll look up your nose”
    (I don’t think he had very good aim)

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    ADVICE FOR COWARDS

    If you’re a coward, you have great fear
    So here’s advice for you, my Dear:
    Pretend you’re strong
    Even though it’s wrong
    Have I made that perfectly clear?

  54. John Armstrong says:

    Limericks can be quite a game
    With insight and humor quite lame
    Cutting comments to hone
    Allowed to pith and moan
    Wordplay with three rhymes the same

  55. Tim James says:

    I was up for hot love. She was game.
    All night long we both burned with that flame.
    Would I like more? You bet!
    But I didn’t quite get
    Her number. Or even her name.

  56. Kirk Miller says:

    Playing bridge is a thing I excel
    At when playing with partners like Mel.
    When we finished the game,
    We both got much acclaim.
    Then my partner and I bid farewell.

  57. Dave Johnson says:

    I don’t want to mention his name;
    He loves to insult and enflame.
    Self-praising the thirst;
    Forever “Me first”.
    He’ll tell you – Big Baller’s got game.

    (Stumped? Ask a basketball fan.)

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    Life can be a dangerous game
    If you do things that cause you shame
    So live it up
    Drink from the silver cup
    And let someone else take the blame

  59. Susan Settje says:

    Tis the coward who crows in a crowd
    And claims ignorance, angry and loud.
    With a belly of yellow,
    He’s a fear driven fellow;
    In the face of the truth he is cowed.

  60. Susan Settje says:

    Was the Cowardly Lion a type
    Or a lazy old cat with a gripe?
    He lacked gumption not guts
    With his what ifs and buts;
    And his wish to be king was all hype.

  61. Sharon Neeman says:

    Kitten acts like he’s hunting big game —
    Looks around and then takes careful aim
    And crouches and hisses
    And pounces — and misses
    The toy — but he’s cute, all the same.

  62. Lisi Nortman says:

    TOO COWARDLY TO CONFRONT HUSBAND

    I wanted a divorce from John
    And I needed to quickly “move on”
    So I found a trick
    That worked real quick
    I clicked “X” and he was gone

  63. Lisi Nortman says:

    When you run into your old flame
    You’ll remember his erotic game
    So what ever went wrong
    Don’t string along
    Just tell him you were to blame

  64. Lisi Nortman says:

    Cowardice is not befitting
    And no one thinks you’re kidding
    So find a schmuck
    And with any luck
    Let him do your bidding

  65. Lisi Nortman says:

    If you’re playing the “baby name game”
    Don’t choose one that will cause any shame
    Do not name him DICK
    It’s an unsuitable pick
    The kids will make fun and you’ll be to blame

  66. Dave Johnson says:

    He’s playing a cowardly game.
    Intimidate – passing the blame
    For all that goes south;
    His despicable mouth
    Deployed as a weapon of shame.

    That cannot continue, we say.
    Regardless, there must be a way
    To get rid of this jerk;
    While Congress may shirk,
    Bob Mueller just might save the day.

  67. Susan Settje says:

    A rose is a rose, that’s its name.
    Are a roos and a rosa the same?
    As their scent fills the air,
    No bloom can compare;
    But the lily and jasmine have game.

  68. Dave Johnson says:

    They stayed rather late in the park;
    “I’m scared.” was her frightened remark.
    He said “We’ll get back;
    See? …I do have a knack
    For finding my way in the dark.”

  69. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Really? Man of the Year? That’s so lame!
    We are onto his lies and his game.
    If he showed some remorse
    And resigned, then of course
    Let that ass of a horse claim his fame!

  70. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I was watching young people play Twister
    With some body parts grabbed by some mister
    But the twist in the game
    Unexpectedly came
    When his gonads were squeezed by his sister.

  71. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Chess is a boring old game
    The strategic requirements inflame
    My brain cells to bits
    And my bum gets the shits
    I should just call it quits, just the same!

  72. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The Donald’s too scared to admit
    His ideas are loaded with shit
    He’s more terrified, though,
    If his fan base would go
    Down in numbers so low till he’d quit!

  73. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Go ahead! Call me “coward” or “mouse”
    It just shows you’re a pitiless louse.
    I see shadows, a rat,
    Hear doors slam, voices chat.
    I will not sleep in THAT haunted house!

  74. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I hear, “Buck buck buck buck buck bGAWK!”
    Sounds like chickens instead of a hawk
    In the courtroom, the trial,
    Heard clucks down the aisle
    Their words of denial, they squawk!

    That old Mueller ain’t done with them yet
    And they’re all sweatin’ bullets, I bet!
    The cowards’ endeavor
    Is jailtime forever
    A moment I’ll never forget!

  75. Chris Gross says:

    When the parents saw “that”, they did blame
    Baby’s surgeon, who should’ve felt shame.
    The newborn’s trimmed willie
    Appears rather silly
    As he has no foreskin in the game

  76. Lisi Nortman says:

    NOSTALGIA: OCTOBER 8, 1956

    An athlete achieved great acclaim
    For pitching a “no hit” game
    No one got to first
    Fans thought they would just BURST !
    And of course, Don Larson was his name

  77. Chris Gross says:

    Alternate version – I changed first 2 lines:

    When she saw “it”, she thought, “what a shame!”
    ‘Cause it looked like the doctor did maim,
    The young man’s trimmed Willie
    Appears rather silly,
    As he has no foreskin in the game.

  78. Lisi Nortman says:

    NOT A DUPLICATE NOSTALGIA 1956

    He achieved international fame
    By pitching a “no hit” game
    No one got to first
    The fans thought they’d burst !
    And DON LARSON was his name

  79. Chris Gross says:

    Alternate version II:

    Under covers, the man’s feeling shame;
    And he has his ancestors to blame!
    Why do Jews need a Mohel
    For my manhood to spoil?
    My betrothed wants more skin in the game.

    I think this is the one I’ll go with!!

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    The “Brits” are all the same
    When it comes to meeting a dame
    They jump on your bones
    With pleasurable moans and groans
    And claim it’s just a “Parlour Game”

  81. Lisi Nortman says:

    My dermatologist Dr. Haim
    Caused me much embarrassing shame
    He fondled my boobs
    Then examined my pubes
    And claimed it was an important “skin game”

  82. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad Please change Cause to Caused in previous limerick
    Thank you

  83. Dave Johnson says:

    (Boomer Limbo party)

    We’re playing a musical game;
    Its theme song had Top 40 fame.
    Just master the trick –
    Sliding under our stick;
    Ibuprofen’s a prize you can claim.

  84. Lisi Nortman says:

    COWARDICE

    I went on my annual safari
    With my best buddy Omari
    He was chewed in half
    By an angry giraffe
    Who refused to say, “I’m sorry”

  85. Lisi Nortman says:

    SHIRLEY ELLIS’S STUPID SONG

    Do you remember “THE NAME GAME”?
    It was exceedingly stupid and lame

    SHIRLEY ELLIS’S STUPID SONG

    Do you remember “The Name Game?”
    It was exceedingly stupid and lame
    It went “Shirley bo-ber-ley
    And Lincoln-bo-bin-kin””
    Oy !! It brought her FORTUNE AND FAME!!!!!!

    “Shirley Shirley, Bo-ber -ley
    Lincoln Lincoln , bo-bin-kin”
    Oy this gave her fortune and fame !

  86. Lisi Nortman says:

    MAD MY COMPUTER WENT CRAZY……PLEASE IGNORE THE 3 FIRST LINES OF PREVIOUS LIMERICK THANK YOU !!!!! AND ALSO DISREGARD THE 3 LAST LINES OF PREVIOUS LIMERICK !!!!!I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
    BUT YOU, OF COURSE WILL FIGURE IT OUT

  87. Dave Johnson says:

    He’s not even watching the game;
    His losing team isn’t to blame.
    Increasingly awed
    By the cheerleader squad;
    Apparently, that’s why he came.

  88. Lisi Nortman says:

    Dorothy kept on tryin’
    She even started cryin’
    She searched everywhere
    Felt it just wasn’t fair
    Where on Earth is my pal the Lion?

  89. Mark Kane says:

    For Trump, this is all just a game,
    As he chases his fortunes and fame,
    While screwing the rest
    And doing his best
    To hold himself harmless from blame.

  90. Lisi Nortman says:

    Enjoying his annual game
    Down the chimney he came
    But Santa got stuck
    He was out of luck
    And said ” Sara Lee is to blame”

  91. Lisi Nortman says:

    First she calls him a name
    Now it’s his turn to cause her shame
    I think she is winning
    But the dial keeps on spinning
    I guess marriage is just a game

  92. Lisi Nortman says:

    When you’re playing the “waiting game”
    The results will always be lame
    So get out there and ROCK !
    Give ’em a SHOCK!
    Show that you’re one sexy dame !

  93. Dave Johnson says:

    With college deferments, he’d stay
    A civilian; well out of harm’s way.
    And as they expired,
    He somehow acquired
    “Bone spurs” his fake doctor would say.

  94. Mike Shulman says:

    A sportsman with miserable aim
    Hunted roadkill in place of real game.
    When he bagged a flat skunk,
    His wife growled in her funk
    “That’s gamy, which isn’t the same.”

  95. Fred Bortz says:

    It’s cowardice, and it’s a shame,
    The Republicans’ trickle-down game.
    But it’s not hard to miss
    That the “gold” is their piss,
    While they claim that Obama’s to blame.

  96. Patrice Stewart says:

    They Drone, We Groan

    Pols jab, feint, dodge charges each day
    As they play: naught of substance to say.
    When they blame (fill in name),
    That’s spin, part of the game:
    It’s just government – for which we pay.

  97. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I am feeling a great deal of shame
    I forgot what it’s called, this old game
    From my childhood, this gem,
    But before you condemn
    Me, I now recall – MEMORY’s the name!

  98. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Their long-term relationship soured
    He screwed up, won’t admit it, that coward!
    As she tried hard in pleasin’,
    With him, you can’t reason
    Some brain cells were freezin’, devoured!

    (Oh look! It’s an acrostic! You’re not going to believe this, but it was totally an unintended fluke, but the first word in the last line was “His”, so I then changed it to “Some” so it would make sense… maybe as a sign of hope for those brain cells!)

  99. Suzanne Heymann says:

    He was bigger; she’d been overpowered
    As he beat her, that ill-tempered coward
    Shot by her brother Steven
    There’s no one who’s grievin’
    His coffin ain’t even been flowered.

  100. A woman who always seemed game
    Developed spots with a long Latin name.
    She got infected
    After sex unprotected;
    But was at a loss to know who was to blame.

  101. Mike Shulman says:

    Mary Lou felt her passions enflame
    Playing handball with men without shame.
    Saying, “Can we be besties?”
    She’d fondle their testes.
    “Isn’t handball the name of this game?”

  102. Lisi Nortman says:

    It’s hard to play the “dating game’
    When you’re eighty two and somewhat lame
    Alas ! I met a man
    Who’s sexy and tan
    But I can’t seem to remember his name

  103. Lisi Nortman says:

    Irving wanted to change his name
    So he would be “cool” in the social game
    He changed it to Seaman
    And the ladies were screamin’
    They were so happy every time he came

  104. Lisi Nortman says:

    TEMPORARY COWARDICE

    When I was young, I was afraid of shots
    I told Mama, “They hurts me a lots”
    But then I got older
    And became much bolder
    Because my doctor gave me the hots

  105. Lisi Nortman says:

    Gaylord wanted to change his name
    So he would be “cool” in the social game
    He change it to Seaman
    The ladies were beamin’
    And so happy each time he came

  106. Lisi Nortman says:

    MARCH, 1993 LORENA BOBBIT

    He abused her while they were wed
    She wanted to strike him, instead
    She found a knife
    (This revengeful wife)
    And cut off his penis in bed

  107. Lisi Nortman says:

    THE STRANGE CASE OF LORENA BOBBIT 1993

    He abused her while they were wed
    She wanted to strike him, instead
    She found a knife
    This revengeful wife
    And cut off his dick in bed

  108. Lisi Nortman says:

    SING ALONG WIH SHIRLEY ELLIS !!!!!

    Remember the song, the “Name Game?”
    It was really stupid and lame
    “Bonnie, Bonnie, Bo Beenie
    Donna, Donna, Do Deenie”
    And THIS? brought her fortune and fame?

  109. Kirk Miller says:

    The pro golfer’s game hit a big snag
    And his shots landed far from the flag.
    Said his caddy’s to blame
    For advice on his game,
    So the caddy’s left holding the bag.

  110. George Wright says:

    Composing a limerick is fright-ning
    I can feel my ab-do-men tight-ning
    Finding a name
    Rhyming with GAME
    Then it comes like a flash of light-ning

  111. Patrice Stewart says:

    In this case, a foot is the game,
    With William S. taking the blame
    For this wretched reverse.
    Watch out: I can do worse!
    But to credit Sir Doyle would be lame.

  112. Patrice Stewart says:

    Lew D.

    Female body parts all are the same
    To him; sex is a goal and a game.
    Nightly upping his score,
    Reeling in, getting more
    “Girls” to pin to his Wall of Defame.

  113. Lisi Nortman says:

    Patients who come to Dr. Haim
    Are sometimes very sadly lame
    His nurse says to wait
    “He’ll be a little late,
    Because right now he’s playing a computer game”

  114. Val Fish says:

    My phobia, I’ve had for years
    They say you must confront your fears
    But try as I might
    I have to take flight
    Each time incy wincy appears

  115. Val Fish says:

    On our TV screens he soon became
    A hugely admired household name
    He’s with us no more
    But up there I’m sure
    Brucie’s still crying ‘Good game, good game!’

  116. Lisi Nortman says:

    COWARDICE AND GAME

    Step up to that dame
    Do not feel shame
    Ask her for a date
    It will be just great
    It’s called the “confidence game”

  117. Lisi Nortman says:

    The first date is just so lame
    And neither of you is to is to blame!
    You get a kiss on the cheek
    Which is kind of meek
    After that it’s an “all star game”

  118. Lisi Nortman says:

    Try to confront who
    Continuously mock you
    You’re as good as the rest
    Maybe even the best
    Case closed– Good Bye–We’re Through !!

  119. Lisi Nortman says:

    The world is a scary place
    If you’re cowardly, get into the race!
    It won’t be that bad
    You might even be glad
    By the wonderment of God’s good grace

  120. Tim James says:

    Call it bravery, gumption or guts;
    You’ll find none among GOP sluts.
    While they sell out the poor,
    Corporations get more.
    They’re all cowards. No ifs, ands or buts.

  121. Diane Groothuis says:

    Just wanted a quiet online game
    Of Patience or something the same
    But it’s SPAM I am told
    Cuz Lo and behold
    Those “boobs” left me dying of shame.

  122. Lisi Nortman says:

    THIS WEEK’S NEWS

    Jane yearned for fortune and fame
    So she thought of a news- worthy “game”
    Find a politician
    With lewd ambition
    And one whom you can easily FRAME

  123. Lisi Nortman says:

    MORE NEWS OF THE WEEK

    Al Franken was on SNL
    People say he did very well
    But as a politician
    He’s gained poor recognition
    Now he’s going straight to hell

  124. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS !!!!

    Al Franken played a dangerous game
    Which caused him embarrassing shame
    He was on SNL
    Now he’s going to hell
    It seems he isn’t quite tame

  125. Lisi Nortman says:

    MAD Please change “he brought himself” to “WHICH CAUSED HIM”
    IN PREVIOUS LIMERICK THANK YOU

    ***

    Done.

  126. John Armstrong says:

    “The Art of the Deal” is to blame
    “Truthful hyperbole” our national shame
    When one can’t call a ripe fish
    A “You’re full of tripe” dish
    Cowardice stinks up the game

  127. Dave Johnson says:

    The hunter they wanted to shame,
    Because of his famous last name.
    A monkey with sass
    Knocked him down on his ass;
    No way was he up for the game.

  128. Lisi Nortman says:

    If you tell a “white lie”, it’s not such a crime
    Don’t be a coward; go for the sublime
    Say you’ve been fondled
    By the infamous Donald
    Then you can be on the cover of “Time”

  129. Lisi Nortman says:

    SYLLABLE CHANGE

    Al Franken played a dangerous
    Which caused him much embarrassing shame
    He was on SNL
    Now he’s going to hell
    It seems the man is not very tame

  130. Suzanne Heymann says:

    She caught Hubby in bed with some dame.
    Didn’t fume, but instead, played a game.
    Got her gun and she said,
    “Now hold still.” but he fled,
    Then got shot in the head; what a shame!

    …Not the head that’s attached to the neck
    Though he’s fifty cards short of a deck
    Which means he cannot claim
    To play any card game
    Like strip poker; his pecker’s a wreck!

  131. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Strip poker’s a hell of a game
    If you play, you might end up in shame.
    If you lose, and lose big
    With no leaf of a fig
    To hide ‘thingamajig’, change your name!

  132. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The king of the cowards, as we know
    Is Captain Francisco Schettino
    Sank the Costa Concordia.
    If you were on board, yeah,
    He prob’ly ignored ya, that nino!

  133. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To not be a coward is easy
    If you’re Superman, Batman, it’s breezy!
    But if fighting a man
    With a gun or a van,
    Then some bravery can make you queasy.

    So just stay now the hell out of trouble
    Be safe and locked up in your bubble
    But if crim’nals decide
    To give chase and collide
    With you, hide somewhere else on the double!

  134. Suzanne Heymann says:

    This is a limerick puzzle (or is it a puzzle limerick?), where you have to find the ‘hidden’ names of what are mostly board games (some use dice/di or cards). There are 13 in total.

    You know, being a spy and a dame
    Is a scary and dangerous game
    If I fail in my mission,
    I soon will be fishin’
    For a graveyard position (oh shame!)

    I am sorry, that boat ain’t a yahtzee
    I risk boarding that battleship Nazi
    Though it seems so taboo
    I just hadn’t a clue
    What the dirty minds knew of a plot, see?

    My plan was no trivial pursuit
    I must scrabble for facts and then scoot
    “Operation Titanium”
    Don’t boggle my cranium
    I found the uranium! Let’s shoot!

  135. Lisi Nortman says:

    ADVICE FOR HUSBANDS

    When you’re a coward, you’re afraid to say:
    “Every thing we do is always YOUR way!”
    Now it’s my turn
    So she’ll finally learn:
    I’ll do what I want (but only today)

  136. Lisi Nortman says:

    Daddy had a poker game
    And he would never fail to proclaim:
    “No one may smoke,
    Or tell a dirty joke”
    Boy! That was one boring shame

  137. Lisi Nortman says:

    REHEARSAL

    She didn’t have to go far
    To see a coward: a famous star
    His costume came off
    When he started to cough
    He said, “How do you do? I’m Bert Lahr”

  138. Lisi Nortman says:

    My limerick is unquestionably lame
    Ain’t it a cryin’ shame ?
    I try every week
    To be unique
    But I never seem to win this game

  139. Lisi Nortman says:

    Don’t be a coward, have fun !
    You’ll be so glad when you’re done
    Speak your mind
    You’re one of a kind
    Say you like Trump, then run

  140. David Reddekopp says:

    I’m never a violent man
    I avoid it whenever I can
    For I am a Persian
    With quite an aversion
    And when I’ve been threatened? Iran!

  141. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 287.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Boot..

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