MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

Sorry for the late post!  My father’s very ill, and I’ve been traveling between New York and North Carolina. 

Today’s limerick and haiku themes are wine and spirits or the New Year or, if you prefer, both. Here’s my wine and spirits limerick: 

The bartender offered cheap brandy.
“No fine cognac?” I whined—wasn’t handy.
So I had to decline,
Mulled and ordered dry wine—
Told the barkeep, “Your cab tastes like candy!”

Here’s a wine snob haiku, the first of today’s two haiku:

Decant, sniff, sip, spit—
Wine connoisseur’s ritual.
I’d rather just drink.

And here’s a haiku that combines both themes:

Champagne bubbles dance.
Spirited revelers toast.
A new year’s welcomed.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about today’s theme(s). When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here. And you can find my New Year’s Resolutions humor here.)

Technorati Tags: new years, cognac, brandy, wine snob humor, wine and spirits, champagne

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! And now that Thanksgiving’s over, have you finished shopping for holiday gifts yet?  And braced yourself for your office Christmas party?  And how’s that list of New Year’s resolutions coming? 

Aren’t holidays fun?

But getting back to the world of poetry, Totally Optional Prompts has asked for animal poems.  So here’s a very short one:

My parents’ poodle—
Their beloved pet,
The grandchild I denied them.

For a much lighter look at the same subject, here’s my humorous essay called A Poodle Tale.

Last, but not least, I’ve just start creating short humor videos starring — you guessed it — moi! So if you get a chance please check out My Family Needs Me on my other blog.

Technorati Tags: Holiday Verse, Poodle Humor, Pet Poems

Did you know that tomorrow, October 16th, is National Boss Day? So, are you excited yet?

I thought I’d “celebrate” National Boss Day with a pair of limericks:

Workplace Diplomacy Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please mind your own business, I said,
To a woman whose presence I dread.
She is pushy and rude,
Rather nosy and crude.
Even worse—she’s the gal my boss wed. 

A Brief Beef
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My boss yelled, “I’ve got a big beef:
Your briefings are seldom … well … brief.
I want the essentials.
You give me tangentials.”
“So long,” I replied, with relief.

(You can find more of my employment humor here.)

Technorati Tags: National Boss Day, Boss Humor, Work Humor, Workplace Diplomacy, Briefings Humor, Odd Holidays

Here’s an oddball byproduct of global warming: New York State Park officials reopened Long Island beaches for swimming this Columbus Day weekend because of unseasonably warm temperatures.

For the first time in more than three decades, beaches on Long Island will be open for swimming in October.

It’s because of this unseasonably warm weather. The average high in October is 64 degrees. Friday’s high was 86!

So you could swim as if it were July, celebrate Columbus Day, and shop for Halloween decorations all on the same afternoon.

And speaking of Halloween, it seems that adults have stolen it from their kids.

One sign of just how much Halloween has changed and can change is the relatively rapid development of it from a children’s holiday into a largely adult holiday. Adults are spending more and more on Halloween costumes, favors, and parties. Children’s celebrations have been curtailed and eclipsed. …

And that cries out for a limerick:

Hijacking Halloween
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The holiday called Halloween
Has been hijacked by grownups. How mean!
In their masks, adults stroll,
Looking scary or droll—
Some in garb that would best suit a teen.

(You can find more of my holiday humor here.)

Technorati Tags: Halloween Humor, Long Island, New York Beaches, Columbus Day, Swimming, Holiday Weekend

Married To Money
By Madeleine Begun Kane

He’s a cheapskate, so stingy with cash,
That he threw an embarrassing bash:
When his daughter was wed
He paid eight bucks a head,
So no band, booze, or blooms — only hash.

I have lots more money humor here.  And don’t forget to enter my money-themed limerick contest with money prizes. Okay, not a lot of money, but still…

Technorati Tags: Wedding Limerick, Money Limerick, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Limerick, Family Humor, Cheapskate Humor, Parenting, Parents, Fathers, Dads, Stinginess. Stingy, Cash, Band, Flowers, Hash

My wonderful husband Mark and I are celebrating our 29th wedding anniversary today.  Happy anniversary Mark!  This limerick is my gift to you.  (How’s that for getting off cheap?)

Chance Meeting (Wedding Anniversary Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Our encounter took place on a train—
A chance meeting, though far from mundane:
A lucky converging,
With love soon emerging—
Once strangers, now wedded-bliss twain.

Technorati Tags: Wedding Anniversary Limerick, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Limerick, Wedded Bliss, Chance Meeting, Love Limerick