The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.
*****
Resolution Disclaimer:
Resolutions ain’t sticky, I fear,
Be it sugar, tobacco or beer.
If you’ve broken that pledge,
Please don’t be on edge.
No worries! There’s always NEXT year.
*****
Drunken Limerick:
Can I write silly verse after drinking?
Let’s see. Wait a second — I’m thinking.
Can’t come up with a verse
Or a rhyme. Even worse,
I suspect that this limerick’s stinking.
Sean Connery’s speech drives me mad
Cuz his diction is fiendishly bad.
Yet he’s worshipped, adored;
Fervid film buffs, un-Moored,
Won’t shush up their Sean-mimicry fad.
On St. Patrick’s Day food I’m not keen.
Its corned beef and cabbage cuisine
Makes my stomach feel queer,
And the same goes for beer.
Partake… and I’ll surely turn green.
At the start of each year, it’s tradition
To draw up a vow-list, the mission
Being clean up one’s act
In some way. But in fact,
Our lapses soon lead to contrition.
For her party, she planned lots of glitter,
But forgot; she’s a bit of a flitter.
So nothing was clinquant.
That gal was delinquent…
Also smart; this cut down on the litter.
Pandemonium Day has arrived,
A fete that sounds rather contrived,
Because chaos surrounds us,
Abounds and confounds us.
So don’t count on it being high-fived.
The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:
A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.
My lim’rick obsession’s severe;
I write rhymes night and day ev’ry year.
My addiction is brutal.
Resistance is futile…
And I warrant the fault lies with Lear.
Happy birthday, Edward Lear, and Happy Limerick Day!
It’s Limerick Day, in honor of Edward Lear’s birthday on May 12th, and so…
Yet Another Limerick Day Ode to Edward Lear
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On May 12th I must celebrate Lear,
Though he’s mostly to blame, it is clear,
For my rhyming affliction
And lim’rick addiction;
I’m perversely a fan, so I cheer.
“It’s home-made” is just one of those lines
Often used after everyone dines,
And they’re serving dessert.
That’s when guests ought not blurt:
“Tell the truth; it’s a mix — ‘Duncan Hines.'”
Happy birthday to Duncan Hines — author, food critic, and founder of the company that bears his name. (March 26, 1880 – March 15, 1959)
(You might think that I use mixes; I couldn’t possibly comment.)
Happy Pi Day! (The last time I wrote a limerick for Pi Day, I was one day late. But this time I decided to be as precise as Pi.)
Limerick Ode To Pi Day (March 14th)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The math’matical constant called “Pi”
Is Greek to your average guy.
“Transcendental,” some call it,
But most people maul it;
Comprehension is pie in the sky.
Happy National Punctuation Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When you punctuate, please don’t be rash.
Over-use can turn prose into ash.
And a comma misplaced
Lays your writing to waste.
Mark my words … or your readers shall dash.
There’s a hitch in today’s celebrations,
But no reason to hold back libations.
Cuz it’s not for the birds
And it’s not just the nerds
Who commemorate Hitchcock’s creations.
After I posted a limerick celebrating “Worship Of Tools Day,” a Facebook Friend informed me that March 11th is also National Napping Day. So I must immediately correct this oversight:
Dueling Holidays (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s holiday time on all fronts,
And I’m feeling a bit like a dunce:
Though I recognized Tool Day,
I missed Naps Are Cool Day.
Please don’t nap and use tools all at once.
When I wrote my Pie-Eyed Limerick for National Pie Day, I mentioned that I happen to hate pie. This seemed to shock several Facebook friends, who demanded an explanation. Here it is:
Yet Another Pie Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
For those who keep asking me why
I’ve a deep-set aversion to pie,
My antipathy’s based
On its texture and taste.
Change my mind? Sorry, pie in the sky!
So, is everyone ready for National Pie Day? It’s celebrated every year on January 23rd. Warning: Do NOT confuse it with Pi Day, which is celebrated annually on March 14th.
I actually hate pie. (Now a good chocolate brownie is another story altogether.) But I wouldn’t let my pie-aversion get in the way of a limerick:
Pie-Eyed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Two holidays often confused
Are Pi Day and Pie Day,” he mused.
“One’s for math-hungry dudes
And dudettes. One’s for foods.
For the former, I need to be boozed.”
Ode To Gore Vidal (Limerick Obit)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gore Vidal was an elegant writer,
So acerbic, prolific, a fighter—
The “Best Man” to make hay
Over foibles — wordplay
Fused with wit — an enlightened igniter.
More specifically, clerihews are four-lines long with an A-A-B-B rhyme scheme and irregular meter. The first line names a person — the subject of the poem.
Here are a couple I’ve written about writers:
Edgar Allen Poe
A writerly bro
Who’s famed for the Raven.
What a scary poem maven!
*****
The author George Orwell
We ought not ignore well;
His writings polemic
Ain’t at all academic.
*****
And here are two about actresses:
Bette Davis
Film joy gave us.
Seduced gals and guys
With Bette Davis Eyes.
*****
Mae West
For life had zest.
Stoked gals and blokes
With “evil” jokes.
