“My new bride’s not just shy; She’s aloof.
So we don’t share a bed, or a roof.
Seems ‘I need my own space’
Means she wants her own place:
An unfortunate messaging goof.”
Archive for the ‘Relationship Humor’ Category
The Misunderstanding (Limerick)
Sunday, August 23rd, 2026Love-Sick? (Limerick)
Saturday, August 22nd, 2026“I am desp’rate to chill and unwind
And escape from a terrible bind.
I need help from above,
For I’ve met my true love . . .
But I’m stumped by her razor-sharp mind.”
The Complaint (Limerick)
Monday, August 17th, 2026Said the man to his lawyer, “That bitch
Of a wife wed me just cuz I’m rich.
She will spend till I’m broke
And she won’t let me toke,
So I think it’s high time for a switch.”
Rage (Limerick)
Sunday, July 26th, 2026An old fellow would rage night and day,
While his wife tried to keep him at bay.
He’d lash out for no reason
With rants about treason.
(At least, THAT’s what her lawyer will say.)
The Gift (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 16th, 2026An old woman is terribly miffed;
It’s her birthday, so cue quite the rift:
Seems her spouse, ev’ry year,
Buys her negligee, sheer
(Which he knows she won’t wear) – as a “gift.”
Lost Cause? (Limerick)
Friday, May 15th, 2026Please don’t tell me to go with the flow,
That you don’t need directions, dear beau.
Your assurance, you see,
Is no comfort to me.
You are lost. It’s my home. I should know!
The Arrangement (Limerick)
Sunday, July 13th, 2025When caught ‘cheating,’ a fellow exclaimed
To his wife, “Hon, I should not be blamed!
Cuz I clearly recall
The arrangement we all
Made last week with the woman you maimed.”
Tricky Magician (Limerick)
Saturday, May 17th, 2025That magician is handsome and nice.
But I only went out with him twice:
He’s obsessed with The Matrix
And kept doing date tricks.
I HATE tricks, so date him? No dice!
The Shrieker (Limerick)
Friday, May 17th, 2024A young woman who talks a blue streak,
Has a voice that’s a maddening shriek.
But although she is yappy,
Her hubby seems happy.
(It must help that the man’s an antique.)
Undone By Punning? (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 15th, 2024“Stop the punning! I’m begging you, hon.
It’s not normal to constantly pun.
You’re driving me nuts!
No ifs, ands, or buts!”
The rejoinder: “Butt out, or we’re done!”
Bad Taste? (Limerick)
Saturday, April 27th, 2024“Tell me, why are you dating that bum?”
Said a gal to her strict-vegan chum.
“Yes, that fellow’s no saint,
But the man sure can paint!
Plus the guy has a very green thumb.”
The Disgruntled Client (2-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, April 13th, 2024The defendant (young Teddy) was tense,
For his trial was about to commence.
He had troubles — a pile,
And his lawyer (pal Kyle)
Lost his file and appeared to be dense.
Teddy yelled: “You are fired. The end!
You have driven me over the bend!”
“This is YOUR fault,” said Kyle,
With a slippery smile.
“No one told you to hire a friend!”
Marital Squabble (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2023“I’ll get rid of that wasp nest. I’m on it!”
Said a man who was writing a sonnet.
“But you’re being a pest!
My verse has me stressed,
And I’m sick of that bee in your bonnet.”
Relationship On The Rocks (Limerick)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2023Delores and Bill, once an item,
Had a fight. Now she won’t even write ’im
A text saying “hi,”
Or an angry “GOODBYE!”
She explains: “Can’t abide him, so BITE ’IM!”
The Not So Happy Couple (Limerick)
Saturday, August 6th, 2022“I’ve been faithful! You’ve NOT been deceived,”
Said a gal to her spouse. “I’m aggrieved
And can’t handle your doubts,
Accusations, and shouts!”
“Don’t worry! I’ll soon be bereaved.”
Still Bugged By Mosquitoes (Limerick)
Monday, July 11th, 2022Wherever I go (or I’ve been)
Bugs attack me, ignoring my kin.
I scratch and I itch
And I can’t help but bitch…
Cuz mosquitoes get under my skin!
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
The Off-Kilter Kiss (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2022A young fellow sensed something amiss
With wife Fran from her lackluster kiss;
She had downed sev’ral beers,
Then compounded his fears:
“I’m not Fran, but her evil twin sis.”
(“National Kissing Day” falls each year on June 22.)
A Dickish Limerick
Wednesday, April 27th, 2022The aptly named newlywed, Dick,
Refers to his bride as a “chick”
And never extols her.
He boasts he “controls her”
By using “both carat and stick.”
A Bad Match (Limerick)
Thursday, December 2nd, 2021“Your new flame always stinks like a stable.
He drinks ev’ryone under the table.
Mabel, what’s the allure?
He’s unstable, for sure.
Worst of all, he wears fur made of sable!”
A Hampered Relationship (Limerick)
Saturday, November 20th, 2021“Wet clothes in the hamper? That’s foul!”
Said a gal to her spouse, with a scowl.
“What is wrong with you men!?
If you do it again,
I’ll divorce you and throw in the towel.”
