Archive for the ‘Memory Humor’ Category

Limerick Ode To The Elephant

Friday, August 12th, 2016

When I miss a big day, I’ve regrets,
And I’m tempted to spew epithets.
Nearly failed to relay
It’s “World Elephant Day,”
But an elephant never forgets.

Remembering Memory Day

Monday, March 21st, 2016

While in law school I’d frequently curse
My poor mem’ry, which now’s become worse.
And this ain’t just a riff;
I’ll be jubilant if
I remember to finish this verse.

Happy Memory Day! (March 21)

Dictionary Day (Limerick)

Friday, October 16th, 2015

It’s National Dictionary Day, created in honor of Noah Webster’s birthday.

I attempt to learn new words each day–
At least one, sometimes two, but they stray;
Seems as new words are learned,
The old ones are spurned:
“You’re evicted!” those brain-hoggers bray.

Reality TV Shows That Will Never Be Produced

Thursday, November 14th, 2013

In a recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest (Week 1043), we were challenged to invent fake celebrity reality shows. I enjoyed many of the winning entries, especially several of the Honorable Mentions. So be sure to click that link and read about those never-to-be shows.

Alas, no ink for me this week. But here are my three non-winning entries:

“Dancing Behind Bars.” Former “Dancing with the Stars” judge Bruno Tonioli launches his quest for “fast on their feet felons,” after running out of minimally talented dancers in the general population. “Inmates have so much talent, it’s criminal,” raves Bruno. “The cat burglars have stolen my heart! And those death row moves are killer!”

“The Sex Factor.” After losing control of the Miss USA and Miss Universe franchises in yet another bankruptcy, Donald Trump makes a comeback with a weekly beauty contest that, according to Trump, will be “really big” with “lots of bikinis and no interviews.” Says Trump, “girls should be seen and not heard … unless they went to Wharton.”

“Dancing Up In Mars” marks a “new frontier in reality TV, taking dance competitions to the next step.” Says host Newt Gingrich, “the gravity difference presents a grave challenge. But on the upside, Mars doesn’t enforce alimony laws. So no more checks to my six (or is it seven?) exes.”

Limerick Ode To “I Forgot Day”

Tuesday, July 2nd, 2013

I almost forgot to write a limerick about “I Forgot Day.” It’s celebrated, if I remember to, on July 2nd.

Limerick Ode To “I Forgot Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I nearly forgot “I Forgot Day.”
How ’bout naming it “Memory Rot Day?”
Since my brain is a sieve,
I find each day I live
A confounding “Forgetting A Lot Day.”

Limerick Ode To A Bad Memory

Tuesday, December 11th, 2012

Limerick Ode To A Bad Memory
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My memory’s terribly rotten,
So I don’t absorb data like cotton.
My mind’s for the birds
Cuz I keep losing words:
Hypermnesiac’s meaning? Forgotten!

Overpriced Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, May 12th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal in an overpriced store…*

or

A man in an overpriced store…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Overpriced Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal in an overpriced store,
Who’d completely forgotten what for,
Told the clerk, “Can’t recall
Why I came here at all.
Just as well. If I could, I’d be poor.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Digital Impasse

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

Digital Impasse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My brain is packed with secret codes
To access all my stuff,
Like bank accounts and sundry cards.
Recalling them is rough.

I pay my bills online and need
A PIN for each of those.
My website has a password too,
Protecting verse and prose.

These letters, numbers, symbols mix
In ways to stave off theft.
We’re warned to make them quite complex,
Defeating hackers deft.

We’re also cautioned, “Vary them.
Don’t make your codes the same.
A thief gets hold of only one —
You’re screwed and you’re to blame.”

So ciphers clutter up my mind.
I dare not write them down.
With paper bearing secrets dear,
A thief could go to town.

I’m forced to hide them in my brain —
A codified morass,
Despite my fear that one day soon
They’ll flee my mind en masse.

(Prompted by secrets at Poets United.)

Mental Haiku Duet

Sunday, March 27th, 2011

Left brain or right brain —
Which am I? The one, I fear,
that can’t remember.

*****

Creative options
seem nearly unlimited —
overwhelmed, I freeze.

*****

(The 2nd haiku was prompted by Writer’s Island’s unlimited and Sunday Scribblings’ nearly.)

Haunted By Haiku

Wednesday, March 9th, 2011

Warning to those here for their daily dose of “funny.” Most of these aren’t. Sorry!

My passionate hunt
for humor in the mundane—
a chastening quest.

*****

Vulgar temptation
haunts, tantalizes, prevails—
beats dainty retreat.

*****

Passionate and raw
feelings too painful to root
escape on breached wings.

*****

Integrity fights
a war against temptation—
battles to a draw.

*****

A thought tempts, glimmers,
says “explore me,” then wings off—
never to return.

*****

Marching to the beat
of your own drum may work best
in solo parades.

*****

To those who ask me
how I remember my verse—
that’s what blogs are for.

*****

Thanks to these prompts for their inspiration: Carry On Tuesday, Haiku Heights, Haiku Wednesday, LoL Prompts, One Single Impression, Poetic Asides, Sunday Scribblings, and Three Word Wednesday.

Secret Cache

Saturday, March 5th, 2011

Secret Cache
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow had a secret cache
of coins and stamps and gold.
He planned to sell it off one day
when he became quite old.

That time did come for him at last—
age ninety-three or more.
Alas, he’d thrown his cache box out—
forgot what it was for.

(You can find more of my bad memory humor here. And check out the secret prompt over at Writer’s Island)

Tastes and Sounds (Haiku and Tanka)

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

Feverish hostess
serves chickpeas dropped on the floor—
a guest spills the beans.

*****

Sick party-goer
coughs and sneezes on buffet—
chilly reception.

*****

The corner bakeshop
seems a buttery temptress,
but smells can deceive.
Pastries seduce, disappoint—
buttery temptress no more.

*****

My first memory:
the sound and the vibration
of a freight train’s roar.
Budding logic says, “Can’t be.”
Sensed pre-birth within the womb?

*****

(My second haiku was inspired by Haiku Heights’ cold prompt. My first memory tanka was inspired by Free Write Fridays and Monday Memories.)

Bad Memory Limerick

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

My memory is so bad, that when I spotted the upcoming memory prompt at Haiku Heights I forgot the obvious — that the prompt was for haiku. Ah well, here’s my Bad Memory Limerick:

Bad Memory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My mem’ry is bad — getting worse.
It’s a failing I constantly curse.
I forget what I’ve done,
People’s names, whom to shun.
Now what was the theme of this verse?

(For those who can actually remember something, here’s a spot to post your memories in verse.)

Endearing Limerick (Poetry Prompt)

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:

“An elderly fellow named James…”

Here’s mine:

Endearing Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An elderly fellow named James
Had trouble remembering names,
So he often used “dear,”
Which hurt his career.
His defense? “I just did it to dames.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Dim-Witted Driver (Updated)

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

Dim-Witted Driver (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A dim-witted driver named Ed
Often finds that his battery’s dead.
He’s forgetful most nights
And he leaves on the lights.
That’s why Edward is no longer wed.

As always, please feel free to write your own limerick, using the same first line, and post it in my comments and/or on my Facebook post.

Note: My husband Mark is a frequent source of dead battery-inspired humor, including these two humor columns: Tow Guy Blues and False Alarm. Thus far, however, we remain married. In fact tomorrow’s our 31st wedding anniversary.

UPDATE: Happy National Battery Day (celebrated yearly on February 18th, in honor of physicist Alessandro Volta’s birthday.)

UPDATE 2: Check Your Batteries Day falls on the second Sunday in March.

Homonym Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt) (Updated)

Friday, October 24th, 2008

Today I’ve decided to have some homonym fun and I hope you will too.  I’ve written two haiku about meat and a limerick using the word meet.  First, my limerick:  

Whenever I meet someone new,
I use memory tricks till I’m blue.
But it’s always the same —
I forget ev’ry name
Right away — hope they blank mine out too.

And now my two meat haiku (senryu):

Jews who keep kosher
Have anti-pig-meat bias:
“Don’t reform!” say pigs.

I can’t understand
Those who oppose beef-eating,
Except, perhaps, cows.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse using the homonyms meet and meat, or some other pair of homonyms if you prefer. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

Update: I added a second haiku, after commenter Stan Ski correctly pointed out that my cow haiku was about meat, but didn’t include the word meat.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants 

1. Elephant Small
2. Random short stories
3. The Mane Point
4. Nickers and Ink
5. kouji (haiku poem blog)

UPDATE 2: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your homonym verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here. 

Ode To An Absent-Minded Husband

Monday, May 5th, 2008

Ode To An Absent-Minded Husband
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your umbrella can not have gone far.
Can’t believe how forgetful you are!
If we still had each cent
On umbrellas you’ve spent,
We’d have cash to put gas in our car.

Note: My otherwise wonderful husband has lost so many umbrellas over the years, our umbrella fund could actually gas up at least a dozen cars … even at today’s prices.

Thanks to Simply Snickers for the “umbrella” prompt, Weekend Wordsmith for the “torrential rain” prompt, and Sunday Scribblings for its “family” prompt.

UPDATE: I’ve just learned that National Umbrella Day is celebrated yearly on February 10th.

Lost Cause? (Limerick and Haiku Prompt — Open Through February 14th)

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

Before I get to today’s limerick and haiku theme, I want to thank you for the many kind comments and emails concerning my father’s death.  I was very touched by your thoughtfulness. 

My latest limerick and haiku prompt topic is absent-mindedness and memory. First, my limerick:

“Please help me! I really need aid,”
Said a lady who looked quite afraid.
“Seems I can’t find my purse,
And, perhaps, even worse
It appears that my maid’s been mislaid.”

And now, my haiku:

Memorized data—
Still there, but hard to access.
Mulltiple choice brain.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about absent-mindedness and/or memory. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.

If you want to keep up to date with my poetry prompts, you can subscribe to either my entire blog feed or just to my limerick and haiku prompt topic feed.