Archive for the ‘Food & Drink Humor’ Category

Not Tickled Pink Over Rosé (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 14th, 2019

I’m not a big fan of rosé.
Drink anything pink? I say “Nay!”
I’ll have white wine or red,
Or some cognac, instead.
Even better, tequila! Olé!

Happy International Rosé Day! (August 14)

Limerick Ode To Filet Mignon

Tuesday, August 13th, 2019

Happy Filet Mignon Day! (August 13)

Dear chef, though I rarely eat steak,
There is one small exception I’ll make:
A dainty filet
Mignon makes my day.
No imposter-cuts! Don’t be a snake!

Ambitious Limerick

Thursday, July 25th, 2019

Happy “National Culinarians Day!” (July 25) Here’s a limerick to celebrate:

A chef who was sly and ambitious
Ensured that each dish was delicious
By theft from the best.
But he fin’ly confessed…
To disclaim a review that was vicious.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TIME or THYME at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: July 27, 2019)

Sunday, July 14th, 2019

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TIME or THYME at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INVESTMENT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INVESTMENT-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on July 28, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 27, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my TIME/THYME-rhyme limerick:

My husband Mark’s cooking? Sublime!
But my kitchen ineptness? A crime!
Don’t believe me? How’s this
For ignorant bliss:
Can’t distinguish paprika from thyme.

And here’s my INVESTMENT-themed limerick:

An investor who frequently strains
Our credulity always maintains
That he’s made lots of bread,
But rumors have spread
That pounds are the guy’s only gains.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Who’s Having That Picnic? (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 18th, 2019

Picnics certainly hold some appeal,
For it’s hard not to savor a meal
Where the air’s fresh and sweet,
Though it sure would be neat,
If those bugs had a trifle less zeal.

Happy International Picnic Day (June 18)

Happy Sushi Day? (If you say so)

Tuesday, June 18th, 2019

Sushi Day

Limerick Ode To World Gin Day

Saturday, June 8th, 2019

Happy World Gin Day! (2nd Saturday in June)

A salty old boor who likes gin
Claims an ill-made martini’s a sin.
How he’ll grumble and snipe,
As he gins up each gripe!
Those poor bartenders never can win.

Happy World Whiskey Day! (Limerick)

Saturday, May 18th, 2019

Many people are prone to get frisky
The minute they guzzle some whiskey.
But it’s worse, you’ll agree,
When while off on a spree,
Their behavior’s (tsk-tsk) rather risky.

Happy World Whiskey Day! (3rd Saturday of May)

Limerick Ode To Chia

Saturday, March 23rd, 2019

Happy Chia Day! (March 23)

Gastric issues? Some recommend chia.
It might help; at least that’s the idea
To avoid constipation.
But measure your ration
Cuz ALSO not fun: DIARRHEA!

New Year’s Eve Limerick Trio

Monday, December 31st, 2018

New Year’s Toast:

The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.

*****
Resolution Disclaimer:

Resolutions ain’t sticky, I fear,
Be it sugar, tobacco or beer.
If you’ve broken that pledge,
Please don’t be on edge.
No worries! There’s always NEXT year.

*****

Drunken Limerick:

Can I write silly verse after drinking?
Let’s see. Wait a second — I’m thinking.
Can’t come up with a verse
Or a rhyme. Even worse,
I suspect that this limerick’s stinking.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: at the end of any one line CORE or CORPS or DÉCOR

Saturday, December 1st, 2018

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CORE or CORPS or DÉCOR at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SPICE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best spice-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 16, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 15, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

This drink was a very “light pour.”
If you’d like to be paid, pour me more!
Here’s my other complaint
Which is likely to taint
Your review: piss-poor taste in décor.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To Stout Day (1st Thursday of November)

Thursday, November 1st, 2018

While I don’t drink stout (or any sort of beer, ale, lager, etc.) I couldn’t resist celebrating “International Stout Day” with a limerick:

A patient whose ailment was gout,
Was informed that he drank too much stout.
The fellow turned pale,
As he yelled “I need ale!
“Downing beer is what living’s about.”

National Cooking Day Haiku

Tuesday, September 25th, 2018

My cooking’s so bad,
Hubby Mark begs me not to,
Signed CIA grad.

(The arts CIA — NOT the culinary … or spy one.)

 

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TOE or TOW or CHATEAU at the end of any one line

Saturday, June 23rd, 2018

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TOE or TOW or CHATEAU at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to JOINTS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best JOINTS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on July 8, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 7, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Sally’s stay at a lovely chateau
Was marred when her pastry chef beau
Tried to skip on the bill.
Seems his favorite thrill
Is freedom from parting with dough.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Happy Hydration Day (Limerick)

Saturday, June 23rd, 2018

It’s Hydration Day. Do not forget:
It’s important to keep your bod wet.
On the inside, I mean,
And not booze or caffeine.
Drinking water replenishes sweat.

MY Kind Of St. Patrick’s Day Celebration (Limerick)

Saturday, March 17th, 2018

We’re off to a nice Bayside pub,
Where Mark will eat Irish-type grub.
I’ll eschew all the food,
But will alter my mood
Through libations — a spiritous sub.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FINE (or DEFINE/REFINE/CONFINE) at the end of any one line

Saturday, December 23rd, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FINE (or DEFINE/REFINE/CONFINE) at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CELEBRATIONS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CELEBRATION-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 7, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 6, 2018, at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

The food at the diner was fine
And surprisingly cheap, but the wine
Was the kind that you’d pay
Through the nose for — gourmet;
Its steep prices confined me to stein.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Where Have All The Good Chocolate Bars Gone? (Limerick)

Friday, December 9th, 2016

I would love a good chocolate bar,
But most of it tastes under par.
Are my standards too strict?
I confess, I feel licked;
Find a bonbon unmarred? None so far!

Me Celebrate Greasy Foods Day? Not On Your Life! (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

I do not understand the appeal
Of a greasy and fat-laden meal.
Yet folks by the tons
Risk getting the runs
From fried items, with heart-stopping zeal.

Happy Greasy Foods Day! (October 25)

It’s Bologna Day — No Baloney! (Limerick)

Monday, October 24th, 2016

At the taste of bologna, I groan.
Processed meats make me cringe, gag, and moan.
Yet for some, they’re a treat.
Keep your mystery meat,
Else my face shall be meeting my “throne.”

Happy National Bologna Day! (October 24)