Archive for the ‘Food & Drink Humor’ Category
Tuesday, October 7th, 2025
When she spotted the dour chef’s glower,
The young baker-in-training would cower.
She was desp’rate to bail,
For he’d rail, “Sour! Stale!” …
And then shower the “culprit” with flour.
Tags: Baker Humor, Chef Humor, Food Limerick, Trainee Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on The Surly Chef (Limerick)
Sunday, August 31st, 2025
I’m amazed that my husband can eat
Canned sardines. (Hubby swears they’re a treat!)
Just a miniscule dose
Of their smell, oh so gross,
Makes me nauseous; NOT puking’s a feat!
Tags: Fish Humor, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Sardine Limerick, Sardines
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Smell Humor | Comments Off on A Fishy Limerick
Saturday, July 26th, 2025
Empanadas can be quite delish.
But alas, many ruin that dish
With green olives, whose taste
Lays those meat pies to waste.
I would sooner eat three-week-old fish.
Tags: Empanada Humor, Empanadas, Fish Humor, Fish Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Olive Humor, Olives, Olives Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Olives? Please, NO!
Saturday, May 24th, 2025
Hubby’s cooking is NOT to be missed.
My job’s cleanup; that’s how I assist.
Hone my skills at the stove?
‘Twould be pointless, by Jove,
For my cooking-chops just don’t exist.
Tags: Cooking Humor, Cooking Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Skills Humor, Skills Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Kitchen Duties (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 26th, 2025
For the record, I hate eating fish and I’ve never gone fishing. (But I had a fun time with the prompt word “catch.”)
We were s’posed to go fishing, but natch,
It’s too stormy again; we must scratch
All our catch-eating plans.
Guess I’ll open two cans
Of smoked trout. Why’s there always a catch?
Tags: Fish Humor, Fish Limerick, Fishing Humor, Fishing Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Seafood Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on Fishing For A Limerick
Tuesday, March 18th, 2025
My dear husband’s gone off to a pub.
I’ve stayed home cuz I hate all the grub
That they serve on this day.
Consume corned beef? No way!
Plus I’ve joined the new “Recluses Club.”
Tags: Beer, Cabbage, Celebrations Poetry, Food Poem, Holiday Humor, Irish Limerick, Irish Pubs, March Holidays, Seasonal Verse, St. Paddy's Day
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Yet Another St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
Saturday, March 15th, 2025
Can you help me get out of my jam?
I was eating some jelly and, damn,
It’s all over my dress
And I’m rather a mess,
So I need something STAT to look glam!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Appearance Limerick, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Dress Humor, Dress Limerick, Emergency Humor, Emergency Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Glamor Humor, Glamor Limerick, Jam Humor, Jam Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Jammed Up Limerick
Sunday, December 15th, 2024
Today (December 15) is International Tea Day. (It’s also celebrated on May 21.)
Cappuccino’s my drink. Please, no tea!
Don’t bring green, black, or white. Leave me be!
No, I DON’T long for oolong.
I KNOW not to brew long.
Happy “Tea Day” to all, except ME!
Tags: Cappuccino Humor, Cappuccino Limerick, December Holidays, Drinking Humor, Drinking Limerick, Odd Holiday, Odd Holidays, Tea Humor, Tea Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Saturday, December 14th, 2024
Today (December 14) is “National Screwdriver Day.”
It is “Screwdriver Day” — not the tool,
But the cocktail. So go ahead — drool.
Never tried one? You should!
It’s surprisingly good.
Just ignore those who claim it ain’t cool.
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Alcohol Limerick, Alcohol Verse, December Holidays, Drink Humor, Drink Limerick, Drinks Humor, Odd Holidays, Orange Juice, Screwdriver Day, Screwdrivers, Tools Humor, Vodka, Vodka Humor, Vodka Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Celebrating “Screwdriver Day” (Limerick)
Sunday, November 24th, 2024
After learning that today is National Sardines Day, I felt compelled to pen this limerick:
How I loathe the vile smell of sardines.
It’s far worse than the farts caused by beans.
When my spouse grabs a can
Of those critters… oh, man,
I must flee, lest I sully my jeans.
Tags: Food Humor, Food Limerick, Marriage Humor, Sardines, Sardines Humor, Sardines Limerick, Smell Humor, Smell Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Smell Humor | Comments Off on Spurning Sardines (Limerick)
Saturday, April 27th, 2024
“Tell me, why are you dating that bum?”
Said a gal to her strict-vegan chum.
“Yes, that fellow’s no saint,
But the man sure can paint!
Plus the guy has a very green thumb.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Green Thumb, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick, Vegan Humor, Vegan Limerick, Vegetable Humor, Vegetable Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on Bad Taste? (Limerick)
Saturday, March 9th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SHOT or SHOTS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PICTURES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PICTURE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
AMUSING, DOCTOR, NEUROTIC, POSTPONE, VANITY.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SHOT or SHOTS-Rhyme Limerick:
“That damn bartender’s AWOL,” said Scott
To his prep cook. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
“Though I’ve never mixed drinks,
I can do it, methinks,
So I gladly will give it a shot.”
And here’s my Picture-Themed Limerick:
“Gotta rush to the bookshop. I’m late!
I am meeting another blind date.
And that chick better look
Like her pic, or I’ll book
It, cuz boy, am I sick of pic-bait!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An old woman who loved to complain,
Was neurotic and stubborn and vain.
When her doctor prescribed
Her a cane, the gal gibed:
“That will ruin my look. Where’s your brain?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Bartender Humor, Bartender Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Beverage Humor, Blind Date Humor, Competition Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deception Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Vanity Humor, Vanity Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 122 Comments »
Tuesday, February 13th, 2024
Why bathe, when a shower is handy?
Dirty water and soap scum ain’t dandy!
Though I’m forced to concede
That in tubs you can read…
Plus it’s tough to, while show’ring, sip brandy.
Tags: Bath Humor, Bath Limerick, Bathing Humor, Bathing Limerick, Brandy Humor, Cleaning Humor, Reading Humor, Relaxation Humor, Shower Humor, Shower Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Thursday, January 25th, 2024
A powerful felon named Paul
Got embroiled at a bar in a brawl.
It’s still going on now.
Root against him? And how!
He is headed, I hope, for a fall.
Tags: Felons Humor, Felons Limerick, Fight Humor, Fight Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limericks
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on The Brawl (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2024
The temptress exclaimed, “Take a lick.
But hurry! You must make it quick,
Or I’ll eat it alone.
Hey, you’ve broken my cone.
Ice cream’s melting all over your… Ick!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, January 16th, 2024
“Work’s a slog,” grumbled Bob on his blog.
“I’m bogged down in my backlog; a cog
On a wheel that won’t stop.
I must go till I drop,
Though there’s time for a… Who stole my grog?!?”
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Beverage Humor, Career Humor, Career Limerick, Career Poem, Drinking Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on The Grumbly Staffer (Limerick)
Saturday, December 16th, 2023
“Let’s not eat here,” said Brad. “It’s for nerds.
And I’ve heard that the food tastes like turds.”
But Brad’s meal-mate insisted
And raved: “Can’t resist it!”
Brad ended up eating his words.
Tags: Dining Humor, Dining Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Dickering Over Dining (Limerick)
Thursday, December 14th, 2023
It’s “Screwdriver Day.” Yay! Hooray!
Which type should be cheered? Well, they say
It’s the drink; not the tool.
(The reverse would be cruel.)
I intend to start early. Good day!
(National Screwdriver Day is celebrated on December 14th.)
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Alcohol Limerick, Alcohol Verse, December Holidays, Drink Humor, Drink Limerick, Drinks Humor, Odd Holidays, Orange Juice, Screwdriver Day, Screwdrivers, Tools Humor, Vodka, Vodka Humor, Vodka Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Screw It? (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 12th, 2023
“It’s Bagel Day. Buy one! Don’t dally!”
That order did NOT cause my sally
To a favorite store;
Such commands I’ll ignore,
For I always prefer a bialy.
(“National Have A Bagel Day” is celebrated on December 11th, and National Bagel Day is celebrated on January 15th.)
Tags: Bagel Day, December Holidays, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Have A Bagel Day, January Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holdays | 1 Comment »
