Said the gal, what the hell is this dish?
I requested a kasha knish.
This crap that you brought
Is NOT what I bought.
It’s a far diff’rent kettle of fish.
Archive for the ‘Food & Drink Humor’ Category
Foul Food (Limerick)
Thursday, August 20th, 2026Forked Path (Limerick)
Friday, August 14th, 2026At a fork in the road, one must choose
Which direction to take — WIN or LOSE.
Bearing left might be right,
Or might not. Hence the height
Of confusion, distress, and/or booze.
The “Weapon” (Limerick)
Sunday, August 2nd, 2026“Going out for a snack — a Big Mac,”
Said the man to his wife. “Be right back.”
“No you won’t! Don’t you dare,”
Said his wife, “or your bear
Of a mom shall be giving you flack!”
Motivational Limerick
Tuesday, July 28th, 2026Motivational efforts by bosses,
When done thoughtlessly lead to large losses:
Gifting over-priced gin
As the “carrot’s” no win,
If the staffer has given up “sauces.”
Failure to Communicate? (Limerick)
Friday, July 3rd, 2026“Please slow down and repeat what you said,”
A gal begged her impatient spouse Ned.
“And do NOT blame my ears:
After two or three beers,
Your words rush, veer, & tumble ahead.”
Iced Out (Limerick)
Thursday, May 28th, 2026“Since fresh ice cream’s my favorite vice,
My own creamery sure would be nice.
But my blood sugar’s high,”
Said the man, with a sigh.
“So I’m putting that pipe dream on ice.”
A Testy Plea (Limerick)
Friday, May 1st, 2026I prefer my food zesty and hot,
So please DON’T make me deal with a bot.
Getting humans to heed
My extreme spicy need?
Tough enough! Don’t replace them with ROT!!
My Unnoteworthy Skills (Limerick)
Sunday, February 15th, 2026I’m not skilled at detecting “wine notes,”
Be they cedar, vanilla, or oats.
I will NEVER know whether
A wine tastes like leather…
But I DO know which wines get my votes.
The Surly Chef (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 7th, 2025When she spotted the dour chef’s glower,
The young baker-in-training would cower.
She was desp’rate to bail,
For he’d rail, “Sour! Stale!” …
And then shower the “culprit” with flour.
A Fishy Limerick
Sunday, August 31st, 2025I’m amazed that my husband can eat
Canned sardines. (Hubby swears they’re a treat!)
Just a miniscule dose
Of their smell, oh so gross,
Makes me nauseous; NOT puking’s a feat!
Olives? Please, NO!
Saturday, July 26th, 2025Empanadas can be quite delish.
But alas, many ruin that dish
With green olives, whose taste
Lays those meat pies to waste.
I would sooner eat three-week-old fish.
Kitchen Duties (Limerick)
Saturday, May 24th, 2025Hubby’s cooking is NOT to be missed.
My job’s cleanup; that’s how I assist.
Hone my skills at the stove?
‘Twould be pointless, by Jove,
For my cooking-chops just don’t exist.
Fishing For A Limerick
Wednesday, March 26th, 2025For the record, I hate eating fish and I’ve never gone fishing. (But I had a fun time with the prompt word “catch.”)
We were s’posed to go fishing, but natch,
It’s too stormy again; we must scratch
All our catch-eating plans.
Guess I’ll open two cans
Of smoked trout. Why’s there always a catch?
Yet Another St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
Tuesday, March 18th, 2025My dear husband’s gone off to a pub.
I’ve stayed home cuz I hate all the grub
That they serve on this day.
Consume corned beef? No way!
Plus I’ve joined the new “Recluses Club.”
Jammed Up Limerick
Saturday, March 15th, 2025Can you help me get out of my jam?
I was eating some jelly and, damn,
It’s all over my dress
And I’m rather a mess,
So I need something STAT to look glam!
Holiday Haiku
Thursday, December 26th, 2024Happy holidays to everyone!
Don’t Tease Me With Tea! (Limerick)
Sunday, December 15th, 2024Today (December 15) is International Tea Day. (It’s also celebrated on May 21.)
Cappuccino’s my drink. Please, no tea!
Don’t bring green, black, or white. Leave me be!
No, I DON’T long for oolong.
I KNOW not to brew long.
Happy “Tea Day” to all, except ME!
Celebrating “Screwdriver Day” (Limerick)
Saturday, December 14th, 2024Today (December 14) is “National Screwdriver Day.”
It is “Screwdriver Day” — not the tool,
But the cocktail. So go ahead — drool.
Never tried one? You should!
It’s surprisingly good.
Just ignore those who claim it ain’t cool.
Spurning Sardines (Limerick)
Sunday, November 24th, 2024After learning that today is National Sardines Day, I felt compelled to pen this limerick:
How I loathe the vile smell of sardines.
It’s far worse than the farts caused by beans.
When my spouse grabs a can
Of those critters… oh, man,
I must flee, lest I sully my jeans.
