Archive for October, 2010

Frazzled Limerick Limerick Audio

Sunday, October 31st, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A frazzled new father named Jim…

Here’s mine:

Frazzled Limerick (Frazzled Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A frazzled new father named Jim
Bought his baby toy trains on a whim.
When his wife saw the gift,
She was terribly miffed,
So she yelled, “That’s for you. What’s for him?”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Update: May 2 is Baby Day.

Late Limerick Limerick Audio

Monday, October 25th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was late for his train…

Here’s mine, and my audio version is here. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Late Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was late for his train.
Being tardy was always his bane.
In his youth and his prime
He was rarely on time,
Which drove his whole fam’ly insane.

After years of his lateness, his mate
Lost her mind — she was way past irate.
Using all of her might
She beat him for spite.
Now that fellow’s eternally late.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To Long Gray Hair

Saturday, October 23rd, 2010

Dominique Browning poses an excellent question in her New York Times essay Why Can’t Middle-Aged Women Have Long Hair? Well, I believe they can and should, if they’re so inclined:

Limerick Ode To Long Gray Hair
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m writing in praise of long hair.
If you think I’m too old, I don’t care.
And if short is the “norm”
At my age, won’t conform
To such ageist opinions. So there!

UPDATE: Happy Hairstyle Appreciation Day! (April 30th)

A Limerick Loser’s Lament

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

Congratulations to all the Washington Post Style Invitational limerick contest winners! (This is the contest I mentioned previously, where B-rhyme lines were provided.)

No, I didn’t win anything or earn an honorable mention. But I did write a limerick about losing:

A Loser Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A contest was held by the Post,
But alas I’m unable to boast.
I submitted some verse —
Did not win, but won’t curse,
Though it seems that my entries are toast.

(Here’s my post about a previous WP Style Invitational limerick contest, where I managed to score an honorable mention.)

Slovenly Limerick

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

Slovenly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow whose shirt was all stained
Saw his lovely wife’s look — it was pained.
“You’re so messy with pasta,”
She chided him. “Basta!
You’re just like your dad — it’s ingrained.”

UPDATE: Happy National Pasta Day: October 17, 2012!

Pigheaded Limerick

Sunday, October 17th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow whose car had been towed…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Pigheaded Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow whose car had been towed
Freaked out when he heard what he owed.
“Highway robb’ry,” he yelled.
Then he sued — price upheld,
Plus penalties — made him explode.

So he threatened to file an appeal,
Though his wife said, “Enough! Make a deal!”
He responded, “No way!
I simply won’t pay.
Let them keep my damn automobile.”

But then he was hit with a lien.
And his wife said, “You see what I mean?
End this now or perforce
I will sue for divorce.”
That’s what comes of the stubbornness gene.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Can’t Stomach This Limerick

Sunday, October 17th, 2010

Can’t Stomach This Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was feeling quite queasy,
And he blamed his five eggs over easy.
He complained to the chef,
Who yelled out for a ref,
And now both men are queasy and wheezy.

The Flying Karamazov Brothers — Limerick Review

Sunday, October 17th, 2010

If you’ve never seen The Flying Karamazov Brothers perform, you owe it to yourselves to go see them either in New York City or whenever their tour hits your town. Hubby Mark and I caught their show Friday night, and it was hilarious.

The Karamazov Brothers’ act is hard to describe, so let me just say they’re jugglers, comedians, and even musicians, who often manage to be all three at the same time. They had me laughing so hard, I had tears streaming down my face for much of the evening. Now can you think of a better compliment than that?

On the other hand, the salt in my tears did burn the skin around my eyes and cheeks. Hmmm, maybe I should sue them for tortious infliction of skin damage.

And now, my limerick review:

The Flying Karamazov Brothers — Limerick Review
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Karamazov, the Brothers, are Flying.
Not the novel — the jugglers — not lying.
Saw their show just last night.
What a comic delight!
Laughed so hard, I was tearfully crying.

30 Rock Live — Limerick Review

Thursday, October 14th, 2010

Hubby Mark and I watched 30 Rock Live tonight, and I sure hope the West Coast version was better than the East Coast version. What a train wreck! And I say this as a huge fan of Alec Baldwin (who, like me, hails from the Massapequas) and of Tina Fey.

30 Rock Live — Limerick Review
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Disappointed in 30 Rock Live.
I kept waiting for jokes to arrive.
The cast looked uptight.
(And I’m being polite.)
If the critics applaud it’s just jive.

National Boss Day — Who Needs It?

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

One of my most important duties is to keep you abreast of important holidays like National Vodka Day, National Punctuation Day, International Limerick Day, National Grammar Day, and the subject of today’s limerick: National Boss Day.

That’s right — our poor beleaguered bosses get their own holiday on October 16th:

National Boss Day — Who Needs It? (Limerick)

For a reason I don’t comprehend
Bosses get their own day — what a trend.
A national day
When our bosses hold sway?
How silly! Such nonsense must end.

(You can find more of my employment humor here.)

Limerick Ode To Left-Handed Underwear

Monday, October 11th, 2010

Facebook pal and Limerick-Off regular Peter Metrinko pointed me to this article about a fashion breakthrough — underwear for left-handed men. Needless to say, I felt compelled to celebrate southpaw undies with a limerick:

Limerick Ode To Left-Handed Underwear
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You left-handed men, there’s good news:
Southpaw undies — much handier to use.
When you visit the loo
There’s a bit less to do.
But please don’t the priv’lege abuse.

UPDATE: August 13th is Left Hander’s Day. Enjoy!

Limerick Teaser

Monday, October 11th, 2010

It’s time for another Limerick-Off. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

An attractive but cold-hearted tease…

Here’s mine:

Limerick Teaser
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Could manipulate fellows with ease.
She’d always get favors
In all sorts of flavors.
The guys? They got naught but the freeze.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Tasty Books

Thursday, October 7th, 2010

Tasty Books (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please don’t tell me you’re “moved” by a book,
Cuz I surely won’t give it a look.
I love thrillers and wit,
But abstain from chick lit
And spurn texts that explain how to cook.

Happy National Vodka Day — October 4th!

Monday, October 4th, 2010

Wow! It’s almost midnight on October 4th. And that means I almost missed National Vodka Day. Must celebrate with a limerick:

Happy Vodka Day!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Which liquor’s remembered today?
Not tequila or rum or Lillet.
I’m afraid you don’t win
If you guess that it’s gin,
Cuz it’s vodka. Start pouring, okay?

The Social Network (Limerick Review)

Monday, October 4th, 2010

Movie audiences sure seem to love Aaron Sorkin’s The Social Network, even if Facebook’s main founder Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t.

Hubby Mark and I saw it Saturday night and we certainly enjoyed it. And that brings me to my limerick review of this delightful film about Facebook’s founding and the lawsuits it inspired:

The Social Network (Limerick Review)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Social Network’s a wonderful flick —
Snappy dialogue — listen, it’s quick.
Depositions are used
Rather well — I’m amused.
As for Oscars this year, it’s my pick.

Naked Verse

Sunday, October 3rd, 2010

It’s time for another Limerick-Off. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A naked young woman named May…

Here’s mine:

Naked Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A naked young woman named May
Posed for art classes nude ev’ry day.
She enjoyed being sketched
And liked sculpture, but kvetched
Herself hoarse posing naked on hay.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!