Posts Tagged ‘August Holidays’

Beach Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 30th, 2016

Lying down on the sand to get tanned
Is a pastime I NEVER have planned.
And my swim skills are grim,
Way too hard on my vim.
But long walks on non-beach-land are grand.

Happy National Beach Day! (Aug. 30)

Limerick Ode To Toilet Paper Day

Saturday, August 27th, 2016

For folks in a tight money squeeze,
Don’t raise the bath tissue price, please.
Though it’s paper-made true,
This factor I rue:
Bathroom tissue does NOT grow on trees.

A belated National Toilet Paper Day. (Aug. 26)

Help! It’s Sean Connery Day! (Limerick)

Thursday, August 25th, 2016

Help! It’s Sean Connery Day!

Sean Connery’s speech drives me mad
Cuz his diction is fiendishly bad.
Yet he’s worshipped, adored;
Fervid film buffs, un-Moored,
Won’t shush up their Sean-mimicry fad.

Lazy Limerick

Wednesday, August 10th, 2016

An employee asleep at the switch
Created a dangerous glitch.
The lazy-ass slob
Fell down on the job.
It seems working just isn’t his niche.

Happy National Lazy Day!

Limerick Ode To The Lion

Wednesday, August 10th, 2016

It’s Lion Day. Give a big roar!
Categorical praise is in store
For the king of the jungle.
And kindly don’t bungle
This message: Show hunters the door.

Limerick Ode To Bowling

Thursday, February 25th, 2016

A woman who never had bowled
Married into that sport-loving fold.
Forced to play — what a pickle!
But luck is so fickle;
Once beleaguered, she’s relishing gold.

(February 25 is Go Bowling Day, and the second Saturday in August is National Bowling Day.)

Just In Time For Book Lovers Day (Limerick)

Saturday, November 7th, 2015

Just in time for Book Lovers Day, celebrated both on the first Saturday of November and on August 9:

Like most of my friends I love books,
And I don’t want to read them on Nooks
Or other devices;
Real paper entices.
Don’t dare give me pity-filled looks!

A Limerick To Help You Celebrate “Eat Outside Day” (August 31)

Sunday, August 30th, 2015

Brace yourself! Tomorrow, August 31, is Eat Outside Day.

Although eating outside can be fun,
My enjoyment is quickly undone
By insects that join
To dine on one’s loin.
Just one bite, and I’ll bug out and run.

For National Banana Lover’s Day, A Limerick (August 27)

Thursday, August 27th, 2015

It’s National Banana Lovers Day, so here’s my requisite limerick:

The smell of bananas is vile.
Just one hit of them raises my bile.
They taste awful when green
And when ripened, obscene.
In essence, they stink up the aisle.

For National Dog Day, A 2-Verse Acrostic Limerick

Wednesday, August 26th, 2015

For National Dog Day, a 2-Verse Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Canine friends are my subject today,
And I love to watch dogs on display,
Never letting you down.
I can’t see why you’d frown
Near a puppy that just wants to play.

Ev’ry pooch needs a human to love.
(People swear they’re a gift from above.)
Always loyal and sweet–
Lets you know: “Time to eat!”
So line up to adopt and don’t shove.

Happy National Knife Day! (Limerick)

Monday, August 24th, 2015

Happy National Knife Day. (August 24)

It’s “Knife Day,” so celebrate knives.
Give that weapon/utensil high fives.
But don’t wave it aroun’.
Kindly put that knife down
To ensure that each rev’ler survives.

Limerick Ode To International Apostrophe Day (3rd Friday of August)

Friday, August 21st, 2015

Today’s the 3rd Friday of August, which means it’s International Apostrophe Day:

An apostrophe’s often misused
And bruised by the over-enthused,
Whose possessives, contractions,
And capital actions
Can leave marks when our grammar’s abused.

Limerick Ode To Bad Poetry Day (August 18)

Tuesday, August 18th, 2015

Limerick Ode To “Bad Poetry Day” (3-Verse)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Bad Poetry Day” is today,
But I’d rather keep bad verse at bay.
Writing poorly on purpose
Would seem to usurp us
And lead to poetic decay.

I contend that it’s hard to deny
We write badly enough when we try
To create something clever
Or sweet, or endeavor
To craft something witty or wry.

This very 3-verser of mine
Provides proof of my point. Ev’ry line
Should be thrown in the can.
But I just got a plan:
I shall claim that it’s bad by design.

Not That Jokesters Need Any Encouragement, But…

Sunday, August 16th, 2015

Happy National Tell A Joke Day! (August 16)

A fellow who looked like an ape
Was unusually quick with a jape,
So his blind dates enjoyed
All the jokes he employed,
But then quickly made good their escape.

Happy “Champagne Day” (August 4)

Tuesday, August 4th, 2015

It’s Champagne Day — not that I need an excuse to drink champagne … or write silly limericks:

A flutist who’s fond of champagne
Trills “Vintage!” — a chilling refrain.
Dating rich, shady guys
For their bank account size,
She loves swilling their ill-gotten gain.

A Lemon Of A Limerick

Wednesday, August 20th, 2014

A Lemon Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Turn lemons to lemonade?” Ugh!
Such advice sounds to me oh so smug.
No I won’t sugar-coat,
Cuz it sticks in my throat.
But turn lemons to lim’ricks? We’ll hug.

Happy National Lemonade Day! (For some odd reason, it’s celebrated both on August 20th and on the first Sunday of May.)

Limerick Ode To Aviation Day (August 19)

Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

Limerick Ode To Aviation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

On this day, aviation shines bright;
Brother Orville, a father of flight,
Gets a birthday ovation
By prez proclamation.
Those who think today’s special are (w)right.

Limerick Ode To Bad Poetry Day

Monday, August 18th, 2014

Today, August 18, is Bad Poetry Day. So I figured I’d write a bad limerick on purpose. How? By picking an A-rhyme with a relatively small word selection:

Limerick Ode To Bad Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s Bad Poetry Day, and I wonder
Why bother to pillage and plunder
The language of verse.
I the blunderbuss curse
Who’d, on purpose, tear poems asunder.

Limerick For National Rum Day

Saturday, August 16th, 2014

Happy National Rum Day! (August 16)

Limerick For National Rum Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal called her husband a lout
And threatened to highball it out
If he kept drinking rum.
He at first was struck dumb,
Then obligingly switched up to stout.

Bar Talk (Limerick)

Friday, August 1st, 2014

Bar Talk Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man had enjoyed a good year
And was trying to spread some good cheer.
But others whose luck
Had been worse said, “Hey schmuck,
Just stop talking and pay for our beer.”

Happy International Beer Day! (First Friday in August)