Posts Tagged ‘Bathroom Humor’

Limerick Ode To Toilet Paper Day

Saturday, August 27th, 2016

For folks in a tight money squeeze,
Don’t raise the bath tissue price, please.
Though it’s paper-made true,
This factor I rue:
Bathroom tissue does NOT grow on trees.

A belated National Toilet Paper Day. (Aug. 26)

Spilling The Beans About “Eat Beans Day” (Limerick)

Sunday, July 3rd, 2016

Happy “Eat Beans Day!”

A man was incensed because beans
Caused an ailment he’d had since his teens;
His digestion was marred
To the point he was barred
From small rooms, though allowed in latrines.

Bathroom Signs Shouldn’t Be In Code (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

According to this video, I’m not the only person who sometimes finds bathroom signs confusing.

Bathroom Signs Shouldn’t Be In Code (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sipping drinks at a trendy new bar,
I’m hoping the john isn’t far.
I rush off on my quest
For a bathroom addressed
To my needs and find symbols bizarre.

So which one’s for gals? Which for guys?
Posting puzzles for drinkers ain’t wise.
I start ravin’: “Be clear!
Tell us ‘Females Go Here.'”
But alas, I must guess and … surprise!

I walk in and find menfolk galore,
Lots of urinals, yellow-soaked floor.
And the smell — unfresh hell —
Sends me rushing pell mell
To the john meant for me. Nevermore!

At The Risk Of Dating Myself, This Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)

Thursday, August 15th, 2013

I wish I were making this London singles event up, but apparently not:

You like pub crawls? Then here’s some great news
For singles who care about loos
And do not mind their scent:
There’s a singles event—
Toilet dates. I’d prefer just the booze.

This Trend Stinks (Limerick)

Thursday, June 6th, 2013

I’m both steamed and in a lather over this stinky new “cleansing reduction” trend. I don’t know about you, but in our house, daily showers are a fixture.

This Trend Stinks (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a trend that I’d sure like to quell:
Bidding show’ring each day a farewell.
Daily cleansing’s essential
And highly prudential:
If you don’t shower daily, you smell.

Are Cricket Bars Cricket? (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

Warning: If you’re into energy bars, be sure to read the label before ingesting:

The latest energy bar on the market uses crickets as its protein source.

Living Earth natural food store in Worcester started selling Feed The Revolution bars around Christmas.

The crickets are raised in Utah and ground into a fine powder said to be high in protein…

Are Cricket Bars Cricket? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A bathroom-bound man felt sub-par
After eating an energy bar.
He exclaimed, “Sticky wicket!
I’ve just eaten cricket!
Insect protein is going too far!”

Yet Another Limerick Ode To My Husband Mark Kane

Tuesday, May 8th, 2012

Yet Another Limerick Ode To My Husband Mark Kane
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh, what have I done to my Mark:
Taught him limerick writing, and hark!
Now he’ll draft something new,
Then lug laptop to loo —
I can’t hide from his poetry arc.

(Note from Mad Kane: I’m really not making this up. On Sunday, Mark followed me into the bathroom, carrying his laptop. That’s how eager he was to show me his latest limerick.)

Miserly Limerick

Monday, April 19th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A miserly fellow name Joe…

Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Miserly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A miserly fellow name Joe
Was obsessed with his weekly cash flow.
The guy was so petty,
He ordered wife Betty
To flush once a day. She said, “No!”

Then he yelled, “You are wasteful and low!”
But she said, “It’s distasteful. No go!”
So he sued for divorce—
An asinine course.
Now the lawyers have all of his dough.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

A Miss-Misunderstanding

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:

There once was a woman named Ann…

Here’s mine:

A Miss-Misunderstanding
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a woman named Ann,
Who people assumed was a man.
When she walked in the ladies,
They yelled out, “No matees!”
And that’s when the shit hit the fan.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Neither High, Nor Dry

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

I understand why buying a car or a home appliance or pricey wine would require some research. But purchasing towels shouldn’t be all that complicated. So why is it that whenever my husband and I buy towels, they suck? Actually the problem is … they don’t suck.

Neither High, Nor Dry (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Our new towels seemed fine at first blush.
They were velvety smooth and so plush.
But they don’t absorb well.
You might say they repel.
Can’t our towels act more like a lush?