Just a smidgen of snow fell last night,
Leaving lawns, walks, and roads pristine white.
But their coating soon vanished,
As if it were banished.
By first light, snow took flight; none’s in sight.
Archive for the ‘Seasons Humor’ Category
Evanescent Snow (Limerick)
Friday, December 24th, 2021Mid-Autumn Blues (Limerick)
Thursday, November 4th, 2021It’s merely mid-Autumn and yet,
The chill in the air brings the threat
That winter is lurking
And soon will be working
To make us all shovel and sweat.
Fun In The Sun? (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 31st, 2021“I warned you: That lotion’s been banned,
And your skin is too pale to get tanned.
No beach, I beseech you!
But words never reach you.
You bury your head in the sand.”
Snow Musings (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 26th, 2021I looked out the window. Saw snow.
How severe is the forecast? Don’t know.
I’d prefer a short flurry.
But why should I worry?
With Covid, there’s nowhere to go.
Bound To Be Snowbound (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 16th, 2020The snow in New York has begun.
We’ve been warned that the storm won’t be fun.
I’ve no forecasting skill;
My sci-knowledge is nil.
So my snowfall prediction? A ton!
Rain Whine (Limerick)
Thursday, June 20th, 2019The weather’s been putrid this week
And it needs a lot more than a tweak.
It’s unbearably wet,
I’m covered in sweat,
And my sidewalk resembles a creek.
More Snow? Oh, Shove It! (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 21st, 2018I’m just back from the front of our house,
Where the heavens continue to douse
Our brick steps and our walk.
Though at shov’ling I balk,
I heave snow-mountains — NOT that I’d grouse.
That Snow Job They Call Spring (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 21st, 2018Spring’s begun with a bang! I’m annoyed,
Cuz more shov’ling I’d rather avoid,
But since stuff from above’ll
Not stop, need my shovel.
That tool, alas, must be deployed!
First Day Of Spring? NOT In New York! (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 20th, 2018It’s the first day of spring? I don’t buy it,
Cuz the elements surely defy it;
Twelve inches of snow
Are on route here, so NO!
Don’t insist that it’s spring. I’ll deny it.
Make It Stop! (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 7th, 2018“I am sick of the snow! Make it stop,”
I complained to a neighborhood cop.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Kane.
Weather’s NOT my domain.
Try that guy in the sky — it’s HIS op.”
Blizzard 2018 (Limerick)
Friday, January 5th, 2018I’m bracing to walk out the door
And face up to my shoveling chore.
How I’d love to ignore it,
Stay warm and ‘offshore’ it.
But it’s war; time to even the score.
Update: Last June, when I was bleeding all over the street and staring in horror at my exposed ulna, I couldn’t have imagined ever managing to shovel snow again. But I just did it. Yay!
Seasonal Gripe (Limerick)
Monday, October 23rd, 2017It’s summer. It’s winter. It’s fall;
In the course of one week we’ve had all
Of those seasons and more.
What’s a calendar for?
I once knew, but no longer recall.
Disempowered (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 18th, 2017We lost power. It’s fixed, but I gird
For another bad outage. My word!
It’s a jerry-rigged mend!
Will it break, or just bend
If descended upon by a bird?
Author’s Note: We lost power last night, shortly after midnight, and were the first to call Con Ed. (Apparently our neighbors go to sleep early.)
Con Ed came quickly to assess the situation and then sent back a larger crew. And 9 or 10 hours later we had a temporary repair — a couple of wires tied to trees, stretched precariously from one house to another across the street.
The temp fix doesn’t look like it could withstand even a minor winter storm, and the real repair isn’t scheduled until February 6th. Yes that’s 2.5 weeks from now. So all fingers and toes are duly crossed.
This Weather’s For The Birds! (Limerick)
Monday, March 28th, 2016Though it’s springtime, the temp’rature’s low.
It’s damp, and the wind’s all a-blow.
And I swear that I heard
These words chirped by a bird:
“For THIS I flew north? I hate snow!”
Hope Springs Eternal (Limerick)
Saturday, March 19th, 2016Though tomorrow’s the first day of spring,
My seasonal thoughts can’t take wing
Cuz of snow-forecast-blues-men
And wet blanket newsmen.
Are they wrong? To that dream I shall cling.
Yet Another St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
Thursday, March 17th, 2016On St. Patrick’s Day food I’m not keen.
Its corned beef and cabbage cuisine
Makes my stomach feel queer,
And the same goes for beer.
Partake… and I’ll surely turn green.
February Bashing
Monday, February 1st, 2016After seeing a “Happy February” post, I suddenly remembered an ancient humor piece of mine about February. So I dug through my archives and found this column I sold to the Buffalo News way back in 1995. It feels like it was written by a different person: February Bashing.
Turning Mark’s Blizzard Tale Into A Limerick
Thursday, January 28th, 2016Mark recently posted his tale of blizzardy absent-mindedness here on Facebook. (Yes, I know “blizzardy” isn’t a word.) And I’ve decided to sum it up in a limerick:
My husband once did something whack;
Left his car window open a crack
In a blizzard, alas.
Snow flew over the glass
And got packed to the top, front to back.
A Snow Plow Meets Its Match (Limerick)
Sunday, January 24th, 2016It’s never a good sign when a snow plow has to be rescued by a bulldozer. But that’s what things were like in Bayside, Queens on Sunday.
You know that a blizzard is bad,
And the prospect of cleaning up sad,
When the snow plow gets stuck
In the ice, snow, and muck.
Going out over-rated? A tad!
Shoveling Post (Muscle) Mortem
Sunday, January 24th, 2016When I shovel, I try to obey
The best shoveling way, which they say
Involves using one’s thighs.
So it’s not a surprise
That our staircase is daunting today.
